Here We Go! Bee Gee A RAMA

OK, as I am prone to do, confession time...I loved the BeeGees, just like Christina confesses. I was one of those millions that made the Saturday Night Live album become the #1 of all time. Loved the movie, loved the music. There I said it.

So, here we go. Barry Gibb...man he really put on the dog to dress up for the idols. My husband mows the lawn in a cuter shirt than that. It's like a faux baseball t-shirt. I'm sure it's 100% silk and was purchased at the most expensive shop in London. But it looks like something from the close-out bin at Big Lots. And Amy B (formerly "Amy B with the Big C...know know as Amy B now with just a hint of C, because yes folks, the chemo is working tremendously and her "Big C" is but a trace. TRE-MENDOUS, splendiferous news.) Anyway Amy B says Barry Gibb looks like one of those Cavemen from the Insurance commercials. ha ha. LOL. Good One Amy!

No one can ever accuse KiKi of learning from her mistakes. She makes them over and over again, in a very consistent manner. She picks the most well known song of the guest host or another American Idol winner...and tries to prove she can make it her own or make it better. Let's see how she hacks up the most famous song of the most famous movie soundtrack of all time. Well, true to my prediction, she brings us a big stinky turd. It's smells and I give her 1 Mikela for just being a bomb. That's right KiKi. ONE MIKELA. Uh-Huh, that's what I said 1 M-I-K-E-L-A...as in Gordon, the faux tanned hooker that "hosts" American Idol Extra show.

Blake...ok, tries to milk the beat box 2 weeks in a row. It's going to bite him. Mark my words. When I'M tired of it, so will Randy or Simon. Paula, of course, cannot remember what she ate for breakfast, much less what Blake sang last week. At this point, she probably doesn't remember she had some hit records. Anyway, Blake, I've typed through this whole performance and really, no note made me stop typing to look up. Ok, now I am looking and you have a skunk stripe in your hair. Didn't you get a new wig last week...why did you feel the need to reapply some Betty Crocker frosting size stripes to it? Jeez. 3 Daughtrys (yeah! I get to see him on Saturday...whoo hoo,....oh, I digress) R, exactly what I said...tired of bbxing. Plr, Sime...all agree with me. Well, I wasn't as harsh as Simon. He's got his nads in a wad tonite. Did I just type that. Hope my dad doesn't log in.

Jordin, me thinks you shopped at the Kelly Clarkson, Turbo Tent Dress Shop. However, Jordin, picks a great song. Good for her. I like the feedback from BG. Ok, I was wrong about that dress. It's working for me. Ok, no shit, I have goose bumps (do you too, Hopey?) and she is killing it. And in all fairness you know I have dissed her when she isn't good, even though I know she is going to win. 5 CARRIES, as in UNDERWOODS...5. I loved it. Randy: tries not to give her total props, and then gives in. Pauler? Talks about the outfit first, because clothes are what this is all about right Pauler? Oh, and she agrees with me and R. Simon: check check.

Oh, my god, I forgot to comment on Melinda. Enough said.

Round 2. Melinda. Enough said

KiKi: Mmm. I just don't have it in me to talk about her. I mean I've had a bad day, like you don't even know. An emotional rollercoaster of hell, and this show is making me want to slam this laptop against the wall and watch the History Channel. I bet there are some bad ass presidents or warriors doing something more impressive. 1 Carrie 'cuz I like the song.

Blake: Here's a clue...the BeeGees, who nearly every note that came out of their mouth was golden and thus, turned into a gold record, DID NOT HAVE A HIT ON THIS SONG. Did that not make you think 'Hey this song sucks if even the BeeGees couldn't make a hit out of it?' Nope. Which now explains your frosting stripes. You've lost your ability to string coherent thoughts together. But who can blame you. Your buddy Chris is gone. Saw him on Ellen. He misses you too. Maybe you 2 can go on tour as the Righteous Brothers for the new Millenium. "You never close your eyes when I kiss your lips anymore"...bump ba ba bump (insert stupid beat boxing here). Ok, I digress again. ok, never mind. 3 Daughtrys again...oh and here goes Randy. I told you this song sucked eggs. HARSH ass Simon...he's twisted.

Jordin: Why the 'ef (is that better Daddy?) do they take her through 20 years of clothing in one night. Mmm. Let's make her look like she's 17 in the first 1/2 hour, and then let's put her in that wacky timewarp machine back stage and put her singing at her daughter's wedding. Good idea. Fire it up. Ugh. She looked weird. Still loved her singing, but Barbra Streisand tends to make me go to old lady, power voice vibes. 5 carries anyway 'cuz I can. But really, it was just a 4.

Ok, I'm just tired of this whole shit match. KiKi goes home tomorrow. That's it. Let's see if I'm right or will Blake eat it. OOOORRRRRR...will we finally get the usual AI zinger from left field (the one that ripped Chris Daughtry from my clutches last season) and find Melindy Doohickie on the choppo blocko? I hope so.

Nighty Night Idolites...