Well, we get 2 hours tonite. I"m getting started late 'cuz work is sucking the life out of me. I drank 3 grande coffees today thanks to the new Starbucks in our office...yes, I did say IN our offices. Is my company smart or what? They looked out the windows and watched a bunch of workers run across the street everyday to Starbucks. And really they were watching dollar bills of productivity skip into Starbucks. So they put the brakes on that...and built us our very own, right in our Atrium. It's pretty amazing, actually. I hope my husband isn't reading this shit though, and actually he makes me read it to him, so I'll just skip this sentence. He always probably wouldn't like my cyber flirting with one of my favorite that visits this site, and you all know who he is. I've confessed I write this thing more to hear from one of the commenters as much as to crack myself up. Ok, so this is turning out to be Bridget Jones' Diary and not a blog. But I really am in a weird ass mood. I need a little more cowbell in my life tonite. (wcn :p)
Rascal Flatts was great. I love this band, but Joe Don Rooney, the poser guitarist on the left bugs the shit out of me. His hair styled forward like he is caught in the perpetual wind tunnel is so stupid. He is married to some stupid PlayBoy Bunny and they got married in Cabo and it was so stupid to watch them sing karaoke on ET. And you're thinking to yourself, so why did you watch it Cole? Well, so I can write to someone later about how stupid it was, of course. I have to watch the good and the bad, so I can give "balanced feedback" in my bitching. And Joe Don deserves my rant. He is full of himself and shit. Jay DeMarcus is the 3rd member on the right and he is married to Alison, and she is hot as a pistol. And mysteriously we never see Gary's wife. Mmm. I think she might be the "non-bimbo" in the wife trio.
Carrie's segment made me cry. I need a drink.
Ryan sez "You're short" to Pauler. And she just sticks her titties out and sez "I'm vertically challenged" and I'm thinking she got her boobies botoxed as well. My friend Sara gave her boyfriend, Anthony, a t-shirt that says "Yeah for Boobies" or I love Boobies or something and it's retro and awesome. Anthony, are Pauler's boobies botoxed? They didn't move an inch, just like her forehead and cheeks.
Staying Alive thing was sort of funny. Big stars. Wow. But Miss PIggy? Really. Can you hear the phone call to Gwyneth Paltrow..."Hey, how would you like to fake dance in front of bluescreen and Miss Piggy will be there too." Gwinnie "Sorry, wrong number, don't call here again."
Ok, I can't stand it. If they make Jordin go tonite, I swear this might be my last blog entry. I swear. KiKi is safe. What? It's down to Jordin and Chris. Chris, you better go.
Kelly has hair extensions. I don't like this Joss Stone act. I hate that dress. And I hate this bluesy shitness. But she still sings it well. I hate this whole show so far. I swear I am in a foul mood. This has been the biggest fucking let down of 2 shows in my whole career as a blogger. I may slit my wrists before this sad shit is over, and then I really will if Jordin goes home. I swear I am warning you all, they offed Chris Daughtry last year early, and if it happens to Jordin, I'm "Seacrest Out".
There is some good sidenote news in today. Rosie O'Donnell got booted off The View today. Right on. Crazy Lezbot.
Idol HAS JUMPED THE SHARK. DEAD ELVIS AND CELINE DION. What the fuck is this ??? Everyone has dreamed of seeing Celine and Elvis...everyone on crank on the Vegas Strip at 4:00 am in the gutter outside Caesar's. For the love of the flying Elvis's get this shit off. Where's my Tivo remote? When Natalie Cole did a duet with her Dad it was on the radio, Unforgettable. I don't know this is just weird as hell for me. It's freakish. It's Elvis for God's sake. I can't believe they didn't put dead John Lennon next to Blake last night for God's sake. Is nothing sacred? Next week, will we see the dead Led Zeppelin drummer with Ricky Minor and the band. Hell, they should have drug out Patsy Cline last week on Country week.
People you may be reading my last blog. My very last words. jumping the shark, sad shit, Dead Elvis, Kelly C looking wacked and not singing her new single, AND voting off Chris or Jordin WILL PUSH ME OVER THE EDGE. I'm fully scared that my Xanax will not handle this bad evening. I fear that Hostess did not make enough cupcakes this month to pull me out of this. Where's that drink I wrote about 3 paragraphs back.
Ellen D. is the only brite spot tonite. 30 million $ tonite. Annie Lennox is up, I love her. Too bad I didn't like the Bridge Over Troubled Water rendition.
OH what the FUCK. They saved them all. This is really ruining my office pool for the week. Oooh, Bottom 2 next week. I think I have never been so happy for Jordin. Well, you are saved...assuming you log in here because you like my blog and the wonderfully funny people that comment and add so much to the mix.
And one final note...I saved it for the end.
Sanjaya's mom got busted for pot!
Apologies for my f-bombs dropping everywhere tonite. My blood sugar must be low. I'm running low on sushi. I haven't had my fix for the week. So, gotta go now. I am just sad about all the African people, and Bono and all that stuff. I gotta find my credit card and donate my money. Ellen really drove it home. If she can donate 100k and I make an effort too.
Well, nighty night Idol-ites. Get to bed Queen Lee Lee. Say night to Blue Tooth.
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Yeah, I was really afraid for a second -- like, I have to keep watching AI until the bitter end because I contribute to the USA Today panel, but it would have been freaking hard, I won't lie. I actually kind of figured out the switcheroo at the last second (lots of other people were smarter than me and called it even earlier) when I figured out that the only "shocking" result would be either Jordin going home (and try as I might, I just didn't see that ever happening -- Chris was a huge shock, but like, that was maybe the best final four Idol has ever had, so nobody lost -- Jordin not making Top 5 would be worse than Jasmine outlasting LaToya) or no one going home, so I figured they would just save everyone. I DO love that we have double-drama next week. A Double-Elimination that pretty much absolves the Top 5 altogether. Insane.
The show - ehh. Kelly looked like shit, and that made my mom and I both truly sad for her. We wanted her to come back looking great - not at her old weight. My mom is nicer than my sister and dad and I about commenting on people's appearance, but deep down, she's just as bitchy as the rest of us -- and we were like, "Girl - part of your success was because you put down the fork and dropped 30 lbs...let's not start go back to chubsville -- white girls aren't allowed to be fat and pop-stars...they just aren't" -- she needs to hire whoever got Carrie into shape -- because lest we forget, Carrie used to be borderline pudge too.
Best part of the night though? The Simpsons spoof. The way they animated Lisa aping Paula (wide eyes, slow hand claps above her head), I almost died. Like, you KNEW the Simpsons guys got a full editorial control on that thing, because they totally made fun of the show and didn't hold back. They even made a Dunkleman reference. Idol has no sense of humor (intentional humor that is), so I credit the Simpsons interns that worked on that little bit of genius.
seriously WTF AI??? This episode was terrible. I should have known it would turn into this ridiculousness. And it's so screwing the office pool. Further, I HEART the bucks on campus. My dirty little secret, I still go across the street....so that means I am now selling my soul to starbucks on both sides of 209.
Back to AI, I was so mad that they saved everyone. This show is bringing out the bitter in me. or is that just the bitter from work these days? LOL.
Seriously though, AI needs to step it up. Double elimination next week or not, nothing excuses the soft focus Elvis/Celine fiasco. That just made me mad. As did the super cheap Bono cameo. If he was the mentor, can we get some bono time please? Also, how much filler did they tape for this show, and I really thought Paula was going to have a wardrobe malfunction. I hope that top was taped down because it was looking precarious. She looks like she belongs in Madame Tussauds (Why is that Wax figure talking to Ryan onstage??) Enough ranting, I need to go to sleep and try to black out that I ever watched this episode. But i did enjoy the sanjaya sighting. (sanjaya)
Glad to see I wasn't the only one that was underwhelmed at this 2 day sad-fest. And the Bono tease was absolutely inexcusable.
Did I over react about the Celine Elvis duet? Lu and Christina didn't find as much wrong with it as me, or have you both just blacked it from your consciousness?
Typical Idol. They tease you with a great show and give you, well, shit. That's like telling someone they are going to have cheescake and end up giving you a spoonfull of peas. My eyes are still adjusting from seeing Paula's blogs last night. I thought it was mean that nobody told her she forgot her shirt. Maybe a little less"juice" before the show or maybe she was filming her profile for match.com. I'm calling her PB&J from now on(Paula, botox and juice). Speaking of wardrobe, what was up with Kelly"s outfit?? Okay, she has gained weight(everyone does from time to time) but they couldn't find something more flattering than the tablecloth they draped on her?? Earth Wind and Fire in the house with Sanjaya's dad on guitar!! I'm surprised that you all didn't pick up on the "shocking" vote earlier. As soon as he said that I told my wife everyone is safe tonight. (she will verify this for me if there are any questions, it will just cost me a package of doublestuff oreos). I thought Jack Black and his sidekick Kyle were funny, Ben Stiller too. Funniest thing about the night, when a celebrity came up on the screen to encourage donations my wife goes, "hey, Micheal Jackson!!, 'Uhmm, honey, that's Teri Hatcher.' Oh...scary" The Elvis thing really pissed me off. Just leave the poor guy rest in peace. I was waiting for them to cart him out and Ryan stand behind him moving his arms like a puppet. Like a really bad Weekend at Bernies skit. Cole, I wish my company would put a Starbucks on site. After a few of those, I would get all my work done in five minutes and spend my day blogging and surfing the net...Oh, I do that now. Nevermind. By the way, they say if you eat a cupcake and no one see you, the calories don't count. Later.
Wow Ms. Cole
Lee and I dined, walked and watched Idol together tonight and both of us were thinking of you and how you would get through it. We missed the first 20 minutes no TIVO in the Crespo household. We teared up together with Carrie's rendition of "Stand By You". Blue Tooth and Old Car Cranking Noise Guy watched with us silently at some points not sure what to say ... very sad sometimes. Then when Elvis and Celione came on we all looked at each other as if a Ghost entered the room it was eerie... Sitting at the edge of the chair for the final results left Lee and I gasping that Jordin was gone and both said "OMG" what is our Friend Cole thinking, blogging away we were sure... WOW she is safe for one more week and we know Cole will continue.... I live for these blogs I drink my coffee here at my desk imagining your voice as I read them hee hee Love Ya Buddy
Welcome to posting Hopey. Nice job for your inaugural post. Thanks for the love, and yes, it's best that you didn't see me swearing like a trucker last night and about to bust a vein thinking my Jordin was gone. I officially know I am too invested in this show now. I will have to attend rehab when the finals are over, for sure. But as usuall I will switch addictions and find something else to obsess with. Let's hope there is a new series in the can I can love.
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