Headed to Oregon this weekend for the 4th of July with family. Quaint awesome slice of America town south of Portland. Love it. Can't wait, haven't been there in 3 years.
Taking laptop. Will keep in touch. Hey, btw I ran into Lu. She survived the sales meetings. Even went on stage and beat the big boss at a video game tournament. Go Lu!!!
Bye 4 now.
ColeyB
Friday, June 29, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
HEY Paula Debuts!!!
My romantic life is a horror movie...my favorite line of the whole show. OR...I'm tired of people not treating me like the gift I am...OR "I'm tired of people treating me like dog poo". Basically, this bitch is just tired.
Ok, I'm going to admit...I LOVE IT. Even hubby laughed. We cannot believe this little trainwreck. I loved the damn dogs and especially the one that ate the ring. Dumb and Dumber, the stylists, are awesome. I swear I packed better for my trip to the lake than those bimbos planned for her cross country flight. I think I need a career as a stylist to a star.
Well, QVC was everything I hoped it would be and less. Did you check out those ladies running that show. A bunch of pasty face ladies that sell swill to insomniacs. That shit is priceless...Abdul on QVC. I like Daniel. The lawyer is just a tiny bit as bad as Howard K. Stern. Yikers.
OMG, there is a second episode. She is getting a Fashion Award. Disconnect, she just said she is always on the worst dressed.
My gosh, it's 11:30. I have to go to bed. More on this episode tomorrow. OH, Tim Gunn is there from Fashion Runway. She is outside getting her picture taken, missing her introduction...hilarious. More later...
Ok, I'm going to admit...I LOVE IT. Even hubby laughed. We cannot believe this little trainwreck. I loved the damn dogs and especially the one that ate the ring. Dumb and Dumber, the stylists, are awesome. I swear I packed better for my trip to the lake than those bimbos planned for her cross country flight. I think I need a career as a stylist to a star.
Well, QVC was everything I hoped it would be and less. Did you check out those ladies running that show. A bunch of pasty face ladies that sell swill to insomniacs. That shit is priceless...Abdul on QVC. I like Daniel. The lawyer is just a tiny bit as bad as Howard K. Stern. Yikers.
OMG, there is a second episode. She is getting a Fashion Award. Disconnect, she just said she is always on the worst dressed.
My gosh, it's 11:30. I have to go to bed. More on this episode tomorrow. OH, Tim Gunn is there from Fashion Runway. She is outside getting her picture taken, missing her introduction...hilarious. More later...
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
The Paris Interview with the King...
If you had your choice of being interviewed, who would you pick after you got sprung from the pokey? It wouldn't be that leerying old man, Larry King. I surely would not let Matt Lauer or Katie interview me. I think I would most like to be interviewed by Patrick Dempsey. I love his voice and his eyes. No seriously, I think I'd most like to confess to David Letterman. I feel he is the intelligent comedian.
Now it's time for Paris!!!
I'll say one thing...it's undeniable, she is a beautiful girl. She is just blessed with beautiful skin. I don't care if she has only 4 brain cells underneath that perfect bone structure. Anyway, so far, she ain't saying much that surprises me. I do like how her "accent" changes when she starts talking fast and says "bahloney sanwich". "They" call it jail slop. It's like the ancestors of jailed convicts past gave her a bible to learn of the place she was.
Why is Larry so perplexed with the concept of ADD...which he keeps saying ADT. I think he might have it. He can't grasp the concept. And he pulls no punches...mentioning Nicole Ritchie is going to jail. She drove backwards on a highway offramp. She should go just for being stupid.
Well, the interview was pretty good. Whut-ever.
Ok, Paris should have looked up Psalms or John 3:16. ok, for those of you who did not watch Anderson Cooper afterward...please google Ken Sunshine Public Relations Consultant. OMG. The wig he had on, and his grill. OMG. This is the best PR consultant Anderson F-ing Cooper and CNN could dig up to talk about Paris Hilton? It's amazing.
And the way they are analyzing her. It's insane. Did she ever claim to be a Rhodes Scholar? She is not Toni Morrison or Mya Anjelou. WTF.
I did like it overall because I have never seen her speak. And she was nice about not skewering LindLow and BritBrit. It was nice.
Now it's time for Paris!!!
I'll say one thing...it's undeniable, she is a beautiful girl. She is just blessed with beautiful skin. I don't care if she has only 4 brain cells underneath that perfect bone structure. Anyway, so far, she ain't saying much that surprises me. I do like how her "accent" changes when she starts talking fast and says "bahloney sanwich". "They" call it jail slop. It's like the ancestors of jailed convicts past gave her a bible to learn of the place she was.
Why is Larry so perplexed with the concept of ADD...which he keeps saying ADT. I think he might have it. He can't grasp the concept. And he pulls no punches...mentioning Nicole Ritchie is going to jail. She drove backwards on a highway offramp. She should go just for being stupid.
Well, the interview was pretty good. Whut-ever.
Ok, Paris should have looked up Psalms or John 3:16. ok, for those of you who did not watch Anderson Cooper afterward...please google Ken Sunshine Public Relations Consultant. OMG. The wig he had on, and his grill. OMG. This is the best PR consultant Anderson F-ing Cooper and CNN could dig up to talk about Paris Hilton? It's amazing.
And the way they are analyzing her. It's insane. Did she ever claim to be a Rhodes Scholar? She is not Toni Morrison or Mya Anjelou. WTF.
I did like it overall because I have never seen her speak. And she was nice about not skewering LindLow and BritBrit. It was nice.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
I GOT IT!!! Kelly Clarkson's My December
I'm thinking I am going to let you all know what I feel about Kelly's album, in real time. Just my pure initial reactions...and no bias because I am a Kelly lover. I promise say it sux if I really feel it does. Also, I'm not listening the whole song because I can't sit here for 1 hour and do this.
But first, we must establish the Kelly song rating system. If it's totally awesome it gets...5 Coles. I just can't think of anything more awesome than me right now. Oh, that came out wrong, but I'm sure you get it. But since I am the soul reviewer and her uber fan, my vote is what we are ranking here anyway, so Coles it is. If it needs a ding...it gets a Clive.
1. Never Again - ok not necessary but I will give that song 3 Coles. Not that much of a fan.
2. One Minute - I like this song...it has a good dance vibe and beat. 3.5 COLES
3. Hole - Best rock song on the album. I listened to this last...accidentally skpped it. 4.5 COLES
4. Sober - LOVE this song. I can tell you this is a hit. I really like it. It has some good pure vocals of Kelly. I like the angst and the build up of the guitars. I haven't listened to the words on this. Not sure what it means. Is it a rehab song? Don't care 'cuz I like this song alot 5 Coles
5. Don't Waste Your Time- starts out poppy rocky. Keeps with the formula of rockky poppy. Has a hum-able "Don't Waste Your Time On Me" rip...sort of like Since You Been Gone, but not that good. 3.5 Coles
6. Judas - ok, at this point, I'm going to say this "hatin' the guy" shit is going to get old. She makes Alanis Morisette seem secure and Sister Mary Sunshine-ish at this point. This song gets 3 Coles and a zap of Clive. Can't listen anymore. "I will not be poisoned by your actions" is the last line I heard and that's enough.
Whoa, this is a rocker chick album.
7. Haunted - I'm scared. Scratchy sounds and strings are ominous. Voices in my head and whispers taunting the words in my head... Mmm...this is sounding good. Dying inside. Mmm. I can't survive unless you're with me. Oh boy. More death and destruction at loss of the male. Get a grip girl. It's just a p@#is. Ok, but all kidding aside, I can rock to this song. And I see a bunch of little emo chicks liking this. 3.7 Coles
8. Be Still - oh thank god, a ballad. My ears were starting to bleed. "A brand new start"...mending hearts..." uplifting. oh yeh...she isn't going to die afterall. This reminds me a bit of a k.d. lang vocal and guitar performance. I like it. I love her voice and her range, and this is so nice. Very nice. Did not hear this song on Breakaway. This is a new area for her. 5 Coles
9. Maybe - LOVE the guitar on this album. Very nice acoustics, electrics...pure sound to me. Maybe switches gears 50% into it. Angst and drama song. Lots of begging. It's a good song musically. And it's building up really well. I think I am listening to the whole thing. Well, let me say, this song will start to grow on you and I can see me humming this and it will be awesome in concert. Maybe, maybe, maybe...that's what you will hum. I like it 4 Coles Damn it's a long one.
OK, I'm more than 50% into this, and CLIVE DAVIS is a dumbass. This is a good album so far.
10. How I Feel - WTF, Miley Cyrus cut a song on this album? This song sucks. This is Hilary Duff and Avril Lavigne and I hate it. 5 CLIVES How I Feel is sick. I'm cutting it off at 1 minute 28 seconds into a 3.42 song. Bleaah-ukkk.
11. Yeah - ok, hold onto your headphones. It's a rocker. And it has some HORNS. Sax and Trumbones and Trumpet. Interesting. Sexy. Ok, it's a good background song for skipping along with...she is definitely getting her sexyback on this one. It's a good whisper sing....Fergie-like?? Not sure. 3.5 Coles
12. Can I Have A Kiss - More angst with testosterone. But I like it. 3 Coles
13. Irvine - (backstory on this song...she wrote it after her concert in Irvine, CA, where she cancelled her first and only backstage fan meet and greet...she was at rock bottom I guess....let's see if the song explains it) Here it goes. I will never listen to this song again. It's bleah. Acapella mostly with acoustic guitar. 2 Coles with a dusting of Clive
14. Dirty Little Secret - Rockin' tune again. I can see this being a hit. Your Dirty Little Secret is a pretty good line to sing over and over again. 4 Coles
15. Not Today (bonus track on Deluxe Edition only, I think) Hate it. It's back to Hilary Duff pop. Weird music disconnects. Part of it are good, but weird transitions and the music changes cords to a flat that shifts it off??? 2 COLES.
To be honest, it sort of all sounds the same in a way. There was definitely more diversity in BREAKAWAY...and I know she wanted to put out a rocker album. But I didn't really hear the skyrocketing HIT that will bring her 6 million albums sold. It definitely will not be little girls bopping out of Holister and rushing to buy this. But the girls shopping in the boys department on their way to get their cartilage pierced will buy this.
I'd be lying if I didn't say I was disappointed. Little too much techno pop and rocker popish. But I still love her. Can't wait for Breakaway #2.
But first, we must establish the Kelly song rating system. If it's totally awesome it gets...5 Coles. I just can't think of anything more awesome than me right now. Oh, that came out wrong, but I'm sure you get it. But since I am the soul reviewer and her uber fan, my vote is what we are ranking here anyway, so Coles it is. If it needs a ding...it gets a Clive.
1. Never Again - ok not necessary but I will give that song 3 Coles. Not that much of a fan.
2. One Minute - I like this song...it has a good dance vibe and beat. 3.5 COLES
3. Hole - Best rock song on the album. I listened to this last...accidentally skpped it. 4.5 COLES
4. Sober - LOVE this song. I can tell you this is a hit. I really like it. It has some good pure vocals of Kelly. I like the angst and the build up of the guitars. I haven't listened to the words on this. Not sure what it means. Is it a rehab song? Don't care 'cuz I like this song alot 5 Coles
5. Don't Waste Your Time- starts out poppy rocky. Keeps with the formula of rockky poppy. Has a hum-able "Don't Waste Your Time On Me" rip...sort of like Since You Been Gone, but not that good. 3.5 Coles
6. Judas - ok, at this point, I'm going to say this "hatin' the guy" shit is going to get old. She makes Alanis Morisette seem secure and Sister Mary Sunshine-ish at this point. This song gets 3 Coles and a zap of Clive. Can't listen anymore. "I will not be poisoned by your actions" is the last line I heard and that's enough.
Whoa, this is a rocker chick album.
7. Haunted - I'm scared. Scratchy sounds and strings are ominous. Voices in my head and whispers taunting the words in my head... Mmm...this is sounding good. Dying inside. Mmm. I can't survive unless you're with me. Oh boy. More death and destruction at loss of the male. Get a grip girl. It's just a p@#is. Ok, but all kidding aside, I can rock to this song. And I see a bunch of little emo chicks liking this. 3.7 Coles
8. Be Still - oh thank god, a ballad. My ears were starting to bleed. "A brand new start"...mending hearts..." uplifting. oh yeh...she isn't going to die afterall. This reminds me a bit of a k.d. lang vocal and guitar performance. I like it. I love her voice and her range, and this is so nice. Very nice. Did not hear this song on Breakaway. This is a new area for her. 5 Coles
9. Maybe - LOVE the guitar on this album. Very nice acoustics, electrics...pure sound to me. Maybe switches gears 50% into it. Angst and drama song. Lots of begging. It's a good song musically. And it's building up really well. I think I am listening to the whole thing. Well, let me say, this song will start to grow on you and I can see me humming this and it will be awesome in concert. Maybe, maybe, maybe...that's what you will hum. I like it 4 Coles Damn it's a long one.
OK, I'm more than 50% into this, and CLIVE DAVIS is a dumbass. This is a good album so far.
10. How I Feel - WTF, Miley Cyrus cut a song on this album? This song sucks. This is Hilary Duff and Avril Lavigne and I hate it. 5 CLIVES How I Feel is sick. I'm cutting it off at 1 minute 28 seconds into a 3.42 song. Bleaah-ukkk.
11. Yeah - ok, hold onto your headphones. It's a rocker. And it has some HORNS. Sax and Trumbones and Trumpet. Interesting. Sexy. Ok, it's a good background song for skipping along with...she is definitely getting her sexyback on this one. It's a good whisper sing....Fergie-like?? Not sure. 3.5 Coles
12. Can I Have A Kiss - More angst with testosterone. But I like it. 3 Coles
13. Irvine - (backstory on this song...she wrote it after her concert in Irvine, CA, where she cancelled her first and only backstage fan meet and greet...she was at rock bottom I guess....let's see if the song explains it) Here it goes. I will never listen to this song again. It's bleah. Acapella mostly with acoustic guitar. 2 Coles with a dusting of Clive
14. Dirty Little Secret - Rockin' tune again. I can see this being a hit. Your Dirty Little Secret is a pretty good line to sing over and over again. 4 Coles
15. Not Today (bonus track on Deluxe Edition only, I think) Hate it. It's back to Hilary Duff pop. Weird music disconnects. Part of it are good, but weird transitions and the music changes cords to a flat that shifts it off??? 2 COLES.
To be honest, it sort of all sounds the same in a way. There was definitely more diversity in BREAKAWAY...and I know she wanted to put out a rocker album. But I didn't really hear the skyrocketing HIT that will bring her 6 million albums sold. It definitely will not be little girls bopping out of Holister and rushing to buy this. But the girls shopping in the boys department on their way to get their cartilage pierced will buy this.
I'd be lying if I didn't say I was disappointed. Little too much techno pop and rocker popish. But I still love her. Can't wait for Breakaway #2.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Ewwww...Gross Grills on TMZ.com
Can you believe TMZ has a whole section dedicated to people with bad teeth? Call it the Worst Fangs...includes Dakota Fanning, Elliott Yamin (B/4 the new chompers were installed, of course) and Madonna to name a few.
Here's my winner of the "Get thee-self to a dentist...after your psychiatry appt, please" Award.
Here's my winner of the "Get thee-self to a dentist...after your psychiatry appt, please" Award.
Peeps Setting Me Straight
Wow, the people have spoken. Here's the feedback from this weekend's posts:
1. Christina has wisely advised that I download Kelly C from Itunes so I get the free bonus content. Check, Check. Doing it now.
2. Famous Julian sends a pic of him Mum and the Queen. I'm sure he is a Duke or something and just hasn't told me. I knew he had an accent but I thought it was fake. ..kidding ;)
3. My brilliant seester did some fact checking on my Jesus thoughts...and by fact checking, I mean consulted her brain and decided to call me up and laugh at what a dumbass I am. Psalms vs. John...sound the same to me. And Jesus, well he wasn't here to read the Old Testament. Well, I wasn't here when Shakespeare was writing Romeo and Juliet but I read the Cliff Notes.(oh, God, I pray he wrote that, or fact checker will be calling me up. DeeDee???? Where are you when I need you???)
4. Christina - I will watch so you think you can dance asap. Tonite. My husband hogged TIVO last night while I blogged. And we watched Entourage which as always was great.
Happy Mondane Monday everyone.
1. Christina has wisely advised that I download Kelly C from Itunes so I get the free bonus content. Check, Check. Doing it now.
2. Famous Julian sends a pic of him Mum and the Queen. I'm sure he is a Duke or something and just hasn't told me. I knew he had an accent but I thought it was fake. ..kidding ;)
3. My brilliant seester did some fact checking on my Jesus thoughts...and by fact checking, I mean consulted her brain and decided to call me up and laugh at what a dumbass I am. Psalms vs. John...sound the same to me. And Jesus, well he wasn't here to read the Old Testament. Well, I wasn't here when Shakespeare was writing Romeo and Juliet but I read the Cliff Notes.(oh, God, I pray he wrote that, or fact checker will be calling me up. DeeDee???? Where are you when I need you???)
4. Christina - I will watch so you think you can dance asap. Tonite. My husband hogged TIVO last night while I blogged. And we watched Entourage which as always was great.
Happy Mondane Monday everyone.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Gossip of the Royalty Kind
No, that isn't Lindsay Lohan escaped from Rehab. That's Prince William and his "former" girlfriend that has magically made it back on Will's dating roster this week. So, follow along here. When it seems back in April that the gossip mongers were bugging Will's for a 'royal engagement' it all went capute. Rumors were that Poppa Prince of Ears told his son, either marry her or cut her loose, but don't drag it out. They've been dating for 5 years. Anyway, it was over, and no real explanation.
Now, Will's has turned 25 and gotten inheritance from Diana's estate. And what else happened on the Big 2-5....well, it seems he no longer needs the blessing of the Queen or his Dad to get married. And if he were to marry, then the chances of him becoming King before his Dad are HUGE. So, there is speculation that C&C (Camilla and Charles) were putting the royal brakes on Will's marrying, so that his chances of King were better. This may sound harsh, but it's a real horse race for which event will happen first...Will's Marrying or the Queen Expiring. If I was British, I'd move to the South Pole before I watched that Camilla Horse Face become QUEEN.
I love the Royal Family. You know when you are asked that question on who the 6 people in history are that you'd invite to dinner? Diana would always be my first choice. I would not have Jesus, like everyone always says, because then I would be trying to be all nice and stuff. And we know I have a sailor mouth. Plus, I can't remember scriptures and stuff, and what if it turned into the Bible Version of Trivial Pursuit. I would be so embarrassed in front of Jesus if he asked me...what is Psalms 3:16 and I totally forgot the whole Lord is my Shepard speech. So, picture my dinner party...Princess Diana, Elton John ('cuz they would be in a total pissy snit with each other and I'd love to watch it...and Annie Liebovitz, of course, so that all the pictures would be stellar and I would look great next to Diana, Bill Clinton, 'cuz I know he would flirt with Diana and he would be interesting. And I could ask him about Monica Lewinsky, because did I forget to mention, it's my party and everyone drinks truth serum with the appetizers. And then Jack Nicholson would be the ring leader. He gets to ask all questions. You know, I hate Elton John sort of, so he is out. I need a better musician. Or maybe Tom Cruise, before he got weird. I don't know. I'll take suggestions. I know I am forgetting alot of cool people. It's sad, but I can't think of anyone hot or cool right now. Oh, shit, of course...Will Fucking FERRELL...he absolutely must sit next to me. on my right and Diana on my left...and she can bring anyone from Heaven as her date. Wonder who she will pick. I wish it would be Chris Farley.
Ok, that's it for me fantasy dinner. Don't you love that game. What does it say about me that me and Diana are the only woman at the table (annie doesn't count...she's working)
I am such a dummy
Ok, so get this. This is one of the top dumb things I've done in a while. I guess I was just so upset at the cancellation of the Kelly Clarkson tour, that I assumed it meant the record was cancelled as well. And as all of you brilliant people know, IT WASN"T. OMG. I'm so excited I can't stand it. I will be at the store as soon as Target is open on Tuesday. I would buy the download but I like the liner notes and the pretty pictures.
So, that's good news. Guess what I did today? Spent 6 hours reorganizing the food in my pantry. I couldn't find a flippin' cracker without causing an avalanche of brown rice and barbeque sauce. It was so nuts I just got pissed off and pulled every item off the shelves. I swear to God I am such a horder. I have like 17 boxes of jello. Nuts. So, I am playing a game with myself. I am not going to the grocery store again until all the food is atleast 50% gone. I have to eat atleast 4 cans of peas, beans, corn and a ton of other crap. I bet I have enough brown rice, wild rice, basmati rice where I could eat rice at every dinner for the next month. Why do I do it? Only my therapist knows. I don't really have a therapist, but I did. I miss him sometimes. I am one of those patients that mostly likes to say stuff to see what they say. And I never cry. I feel like they don't think they are doing a good job if you don't cry. I'm kidding. I love therapy, and I think it should be required just like going to the dentist is socially expected. There would be alot less angry people, etc, if they just went and vented on a professional. This concludes my promotion for Mental Health Week.
Today was Gay Pride Parade Day in SF. I love living out here where you are free to be and fly it in pink. It really is so nice to live amongst such tolerance for all things. I do take it for granted some times. I work with alot of gay professionals and really, there is so much good humor in making fun of "their team" as they like to call it. It's funny when they make fun of me and "my team" as well.
Well, Entourage is back on and I loves that show. Adrian Grenier is the hottest man on the booby tubey, in my humble opinion. And Paula Abdul premieres this week. Oh, Oh Oh...I almost forgot...I took a break from the pantry today and got sucked into Sunset Tan...on E! Channel. The Olly Girls are f-ing hysterical. I think I might have to watch that show this summer. Molly and Holly...and they got noticed by E! execs at a holiday party and they put them on the show. So funny. They really are better than Paris and Nicole for sure.
The Soup was making fun of how small Ryan Seacrest is. They said they saw him holding up Paris Hilton's letter to the fan from jail...and they said..." My God, it looked like Ryan was holding up a poster in his tiny little hands". Heh Eh. Funny stuff.
Bye now.
So, that's good news. Guess what I did today? Spent 6 hours reorganizing the food in my pantry. I couldn't find a flippin' cracker without causing an avalanche of brown rice and barbeque sauce. It was so nuts I just got pissed off and pulled every item off the shelves. I swear to God I am such a horder. I have like 17 boxes of jello. Nuts. So, I am playing a game with myself. I am not going to the grocery store again until all the food is atleast 50% gone. I have to eat atleast 4 cans of peas, beans, corn and a ton of other crap. I bet I have enough brown rice, wild rice, basmati rice where I could eat rice at every dinner for the next month. Why do I do it? Only my therapist knows. I don't really have a therapist, but I did. I miss him sometimes. I am one of those patients that mostly likes to say stuff to see what they say. And I never cry. I feel like they don't think they are doing a good job if you don't cry. I'm kidding. I love therapy, and I think it should be required just like going to the dentist is socially expected. There would be alot less angry people, etc, if they just went and vented on a professional. This concludes my promotion for Mental Health Week.
Today was Gay Pride Parade Day in SF. I love living out here where you are free to be and fly it in pink. It really is so nice to live amongst such tolerance for all things. I do take it for granted some times. I work with alot of gay professionals and really, there is so much good humor in making fun of "their team" as they like to call it. It's funny when they make fun of me and "my team" as well.
Well, Entourage is back on and I loves that show. Adrian Grenier is the hottest man on the booby tubey, in my humble opinion. And Paula Abdul premieres this week. Oh, Oh Oh...I almost forgot...I took a break from the pantry today and got sucked into Sunset Tan...on E! Channel. The Olly Girls are f-ing hysterical. I think I might have to watch that show this summer. Molly and Holly...and they got noticed by E! execs at a holiday party and they put them on the show. So funny. They really are better than Paris and Nicole for sure.
The Soup was making fun of how small Ryan Seacrest is. They said they saw him holding up Paris Hilton's letter to the fan from jail...and they said..." My God, it looked like Ryan was holding up a poster in his tiny little hands". Heh Eh. Funny stuff.
Bye now.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Week 2: Top Chef
I love the Micah person. She is not the morning person. Comes out flying the bird at everyone. ha ha. Such a Cole move. I hate getting out of bed. I hate Howie. He needs to shut it. He's already on my nerves. He thinks he is the Godfather of chefs. Ooh, wasn't that citrus display awesome? Hung and Tre are the "favorites" in Hung's eyes. Ok. The quickfire challenge resulted in some seeds, some shells and some avocado pudding. And this one girl didn't even know what to call it. The bottom 3 were Sandy, Sara and Micah. Top 3 CJ (seed boy), Hung and Tre. Hung won today. And now there are some pissed off competitors
Challenge: cook at a champagne barbeque thrown by Lee Somebody. BBQ yummy. Can't wait to see Texas Tre and his bbq skills. Jeffro, do you know how to bbq?
Sara orders 20 pounds of $10/lb meat. Dumbass. Hung helps her out. I smell a booty call. Aren't they just so insane with those knives. I would probably shank Hung if he ran past me like that. And Howie sweats more into his food than Lance Armstrong in the last leg of Tour de France. And dumbass Sara picks the hottest peppers grown on Earth. Ha. I love the real fuckups. Lezbo Hawk has some weird functions with her clothes and her Thai Chi moves. I hope she goes soon because she bugs. I hate Mohawks...and even before the Faux Hawk from he who shall not be named. BBQ drumsticks??? What the fuck. This is gourmet bbq, not ghetto bbq. Howie serves up sawdust pork loin. Yummers. Joey blames Hung for stealing his watermelon liquor idea. Ha ha. Like he has a patent on watermelon dishes. I like that girl Camille. Reminds me of Jennifer Aniston, or really more of Jennifer "Rachel Green" Aniston.
Oh, top 3 are called out. I knew the seafood sausage was going to be a winner. Let's see if I am right. And I am. It doesn't take much to learn what these judges like. Sort of like Simon.
Bottom 4: Howie the sweater, Joey the blamer, Texas Tre and Hawkster. I love the drama they put around this. "Joey, what were you thinking?" Crickets.... I can't believe this stupid ass. Served them super hot chicken legs to eat with their fingers..ouch. Sandy, is shocked to be there. And by the way where was the bbq? Howie "my dish was phoned in simple". No dude, it was sawdust sticks you served. Joey ate sandy's and tre's, and still throws Howie under the bus. And now they start bitching about each other. Bad move, no way are these guys winning. Ever. ToolTom don't like whiners.
I'm voting LezboHawk is packing her knives now. She broke the golden rule...no bbq, no dice. And I am officially one for one.
OMG, in the previews you see Howie with sweat running down his face and dripping INTO THE FOOD. YUKKKKKKKK.
Ok, now I'm watching THE SOUP. I love this show. Shit, Constantine is one of the stories. He is starting to get on my last nerve.
Challenge: cook at a champagne barbeque thrown by Lee Somebody. BBQ yummy. Can't wait to see Texas Tre and his bbq skills. Jeffro, do you know how to bbq?
Sara orders 20 pounds of $10/lb meat. Dumbass. Hung helps her out. I smell a booty call. Aren't they just so insane with those knives. I would probably shank Hung if he ran past me like that. And Howie sweats more into his food than Lance Armstrong in the last leg of Tour de France. And dumbass Sara picks the hottest peppers grown on Earth. Ha. I love the real fuckups. Lezbo Hawk has some weird functions with her clothes and her Thai Chi moves. I hope she goes soon because she bugs. I hate Mohawks...and even before the Faux Hawk from he who shall not be named. BBQ drumsticks??? What the fuck. This is gourmet bbq, not ghetto bbq. Howie serves up sawdust pork loin. Yummers. Joey blames Hung for stealing his watermelon liquor idea. Ha ha. Like he has a patent on watermelon dishes. I like that girl Camille. Reminds me of Jennifer Aniston, or really more of Jennifer "Rachel Green" Aniston.
Oh, top 3 are called out. I knew the seafood sausage was going to be a winner. Let's see if I am right. And I am. It doesn't take much to learn what these judges like. Sort of like Simon.
Bottom 4: Howie the sweater, Joey the blamer, Texas Tre and Hawkster. I love the drama they put around this. "Joey, what were you thinking?" Crickets.... I can't believe this stupid ass. Served them super hot chicken legs to eat with their fingers..ouch. Sandy, is shocked to be there. And by the way where was the bbq? Howie "my dish was phoned in simple". No dude, it was sawdust sticks you served. Joey ate sandy's and tre's, and still throws Howie under the bus. And now they start bitching about each other. Bad move, no way are these guys winning. Ever. ToolTom don't like whiners.
I'm voting LezboHawk is packing her knives now. She broke the golden rule...no bbq, no dice. And I am officially one for one.
OMG, in the previews you see Howie with sweat running down his face and dripping INTO THE FOOD. YUKKKKKKKK.
Ok, now I'm watching THE SOUP. I love this show. Shit, Constantine is one of the stories. He is starting to get on my last nerve.
Wig is officially snipped and dipped
but i chickened out on the whorish highlights. I went with the Latte lights, or toffee highlights...actually sounds like my Starbucks order this am. Anyway, I love visiting Jule ...it's like therapy. She write screenplays and we love alot of the same things. She the best hairdresser I've had since coming to California. She so beautiful and inspiring and a new gma...lovely soul and I'm so lucky to have found her.
So, I was thinking...Top Chef. What the hell, I forgot all about it with this week I've had. Literally have not watched tv in 4 days. It has to be a lifetime record. It's due to the fact that I am really into these trash novels I started reading on vacay. Anyway, on vacay hubby got hooked on TLC and we watch Backyard Nation, Little People Big World and Big Medicine. God, do we really need new shows? So anyway, I love the show Little People, Big World. It's about Little People (non PC description is midget, which is completely derogatory and I'll never use that term again, ever, after watching this show.) and their struggles in the "Big World". Very, very well done. Highly recommend it.
Anyway, back to Top Chef. The first week, pulling out all of that unidentifiable food was repulsive. I would call that Shit Week. Oh, hey, I sure have a hankering for some of that black duck. My God that shit looked like it came out of an exhaust pipe. Disgusting. Some of these guys clearly haven't watch the old episodes of Top Chef either. Just throw the shit on the plate before time is up. How hard is that to figure out? For the new viewers, I wonder if you all think Tom Coliccio is as much of a tool as I do. I call him ToolTom.
Anyway, we are finally going to watch it. Review on next post.
So, I was thinking...Top Chef. What the hell, I forgot all about it with this week I've had. Literally have not watched tv in 4 days. It has to be a lifetime record. It's due to the fact that I am really into these trash novels I started reading on vacay. Anyway, on vacay hubby got hooked on TLC and we watch Backyard Nation, Little People Big World and Big Medicine. God, do we really need new shows? So anyway, I love the show Little People, Big World. It's about Little People (non PC description is midget, which is completely derogatory and I'll never use that term again, ever, after watching this show.) and their struggles in the "Big World". Very, very well done. Highly recommend it.
Anyway, back to Top Chef. The first week, pulling out all of that unidentifiable food was repulsive. I would call that Shit Week. Oh, hey, I sure have a hankering for some of that black duck. My God that shit looked like it came out of an exhaust pipe. Disgusting. Some of these guys clearly haven't watch the old episodes of Top Chef either. Just throw the shit on the plate before time is up. How hard is that to figure out? For the new viewers, I wonder if you all think Tom Coliccio is as much of a tool as I do. I call him ToolTom.
Anyway, we are finally going to watch it. Review on next post.
Drinking on the Company Dime...a concept to toast
There is alot to be said about free booze. And those that know me are aware of my allergies to alcohol. But really, I have to admit to my potential for alcoholism. It's a fact and I'm sure not lost on any of you that I have an obsessive personality. If I like something, I FUCKING LOVE IT...AND CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IT. I obsess over the details of everything. Time, food, color, music, tv, and it works for me, but I have to know my limits. Alcohol is one that I can go 0 to 60 in about 2 sips. I am a cheap date. BUT, when it is free...well who can resist? Last week, I had the opportunity to drink on the co. dime in Palo Alto at Francis Ford Coppola's Italian Cafe. And they had this wine bar with these dispensers. You went up to it with a credit card issued to you by the waiter. You plug it in and go surf the wines...about 24 bottles separated by cabernet, chards, and pinots...and some other shit in there. Well, you would have thought we were a bunch of high schoolers bellying up to the bar. We had 5 cards in our group of 22, and one time when I entered the card, the balance was $162.00. That was one card, 20 minutes into the gig. Holy shit. No wonder our stock price dropped 3 bucks last week. Anyway, you could get a taste (1/4 of glass), 1/2 glass or full glass, you just punched the button for the amount you wanted to swill. So, I was talking to the president, being nice and PC, and this guy comes stumbling up to me, shouting "Cole, this fucking glass cost $35.00...want a sip?" and shoves it in my face. Ok he's like 24 years old and shitfaced. I nearly died. But the Pres was cool. SHE just laughed and asked me what I thought. It was pretty smooth. And truthfully, the glass I was drinking I got 1/4 glass for $7.50. Rombauer Chardonnay. Tasty, tasty grape juice.
So, Lu, morale to the story is...get your ring of drinkers over to Palo Alto one night. Tell Francis I sent ya'.
Jeff, I'm glad you survived your corporate sales shindig. Atleast our company doesn't force us to a summer picnic anymore.
We will get to go see Harry Potter for free since we publish the video game. Yahoo.
Well, it's Saturday and I'm going to the beautician for a hair restriping today. Time to get my wig snipped and dipped. I'm thinking of getting jiggy with it and having blond highlights put in. It's summertime and I'm feeling whorish. Got me some tank tops and a tan at the lake...Oh, and my and the hubs are buying bicycles. We ordered them from his uncle, who owns a bike shop in Oregon, and we are going to pick them up over 4th of July weekend. Can't wait. Driving to Oregon is 10 hours, but it is beautiful. Greg's gma is nearly 90 years old so we are paying her a visit. She's a PISTOL packing gma. Has a collection of Whore House Liquor Bottles. Years ago, Jim Beam issued limited edition bottles of booze with the names of famous whorehouses in Nevada. They are hysterical and she proudly displays them. Of course the girls are scattily clad. My favorite is the Pussycat Lounge.
More later.
So, Lu, morale to the story is...get your ring of drinkers over to Palo Alto one night. Tell Francis I sent ya'.
Jeff, I'm glad you survived your corporate sales shindig. Atleast our company doesn't force us to a summer picnic anymore.
We will get to go see Harry Potter for free since we publish the video game. Yahoo.
Well, it's Saturday and I'm going to the beautician for a hair restriping today. Time to get my wig snipped and dipped. I'm thinking of getting jiggy with it and having blond highlights put in. It's summertime and I'm feeling whorish. Got me some tank tops and a tan at the lake...Oh, and my and the hubs are buying bicycles. We ordered them from his uncle, who owns a bike shop in Oregon, and we are going to pick them up over 4th of July weekend. Can't wait. Driving to Oregon is 10 hours, but it is beautiful. Greg's gma is nearly 90 years old so we are paying her a visit. She's a PISTOL packing gma. Has a collection of Whore House Liquor Bottles. Years ago, Jim Beam issued limited edition bottles of booze with the names of famous whorehouses in Nevada. They are hysterical and she proudly displays them. Of course the girls are scattily clad. My favorite is the Pussycat Lounge.
More later.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Celebrity Baby Week...
Let's just sum up the body count...or baby count as it were..
Julie Roberts has Baby Henry Moder on the same day as Tiger Woods and his lovely wife, Elin give birth to a girl, Sam Alexis.
Keri Russell (always knows as Felicity to me) has a boy, and drum roll...
Remember when I said Paris Hilton could have given birth to 2 donkeys...blah blah blah...well I must have been channeling donkeys giving birth. Eddie Murphy (Donkey in the Shrek Trilogy) is the proud poppa of BabySpice. DNA results have cigars being passed around Eddie's home ... Scary Spice wasn't lying when she tagged him as the BabyDaddy.
And Nicole Ritchie is not preggers. no way. She is so underweight, I doubt she is ovulating. Seriously. I do believe that Christina Aguilera is though. That is really a story I believe from the rumor mill.
Let's all bow our head's in a moment of silence for Lu. She has the dreadful sales week next week, and really needs us all to send her some good vibes. She will be drunk every night, but it's the daytime of stress that is really a life staller.
Christina, your last post about your sex=capades leaves me laughing and knowing you are just really one sentence away from a full-fledged Dr. Phil episode. Seriously.
More later...
Julie Roberts has Baby Henry Moder on the same day as Tiger Woods and his lovely wife, Elin give birth to a girl, Sam Alexis.
Keri Russell (always knows as Felicity to me) has a boy, and drum roll...
Remember when I said Paris Hilton could have given birth to 2 donkeys...blah blah blah...well I must have been channeling donkeys giving birth. Eddie Murphy (Donkey in the Shrek Trilogy) is the proud poppa of BabySpice. DNA results have cigars being passed around Eddie's home ... Scary Spice wasn't lying when she tagged him as the BabyDaddy.
And Nicole Ritchie is not preggers. no way. She is so underweight, I doubt she is ovulating. Seriously. I do believe that Christina Aguilera is though. That is really a story I believe from the rumor mill.
Let's all bow our head's in a moment of silence for Lu. She has the dreadful sales week next week, and really needs us all to send her some good vibes. She will be drunk every night, but it's the daytime of stress that is really a life staller.
Christina, your last post about your sex=capades leaves me laughing and knowing you are just really one sentence away from a full-fledged Dr. Phil episode. Seriously.
More later...
Happy Friday from Jordan and Blake
Looks like Jordan and Blake are making some time for each other these days. This snap was taken at a Fry's Electronics store (no doubt the the MOD ((mgr on duty)) with a digi cam he ripped off the shelf) where they were shopping "unmolested", it was reported. I guess Idol fans don't hang at Fry's, except for the MOD.
Anyhoo...the report says rumors are flying that they are swappin' spit. Isn't that cute. We haven't had a 1:2 idol romance yet? I like it. I hope they date and then he dumps her for Paula Abdul. I mean I want some SUMMERTIME scandal. Anyway, they won't be able to hide this for long, as the summer 10 city tour is getting underway and there will be no hotel room swapping without Idol noticing, I'm sure.
More later.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Ugghhh...been in meeting hell!
Ok, so sorry to have gone underground for nearly 4 days. Work has been crazy. Politics that rivaled the 2000 Gore/Bush election, let me tell you. My company is going through a re-org and people are scurrying for a seat in a big corporate game of musical chairs. It's nutso.
Well, I went to Los Angeles 2 days ago and I had a fabulous time with Famous Julian. I embarrassed him by making him show me the picture of him in The Hollywood Reporter, which was all the buzz in the office that day. They won an award for their movie poster artwork for An Inconvenient Truth. Nice job Jules.
Well, I have absolutely no news as I have been unplugged for days. Paris could have given birth to twin donkeys and I would know nothing about it. I miss my celebrities though. And I was talking to a French guy last night, part of our Global marketing team, and he is fascinated by Jerry Springer. He also does not believe me when I say those people are real and not actors. He is also fascinated by American Idol.
So, anyway, I'll try to plug back in this weekend. Now get back to work Lu.
Cole
Well, I went to Los Angeles 2 days ago and I had a fabulous time with Famous Julian. I embarrassed him by making him show me the picture of him in The Hollywood Reporter, which was all the buzz in the office that day. They won an award for their movie poster artwork for An Inconvenient Truth. Nice job Jules.
Well, I have absolutely no news as I have been unplugged for days. Paris could have given birth to twin donkeys and I would know nothing about it. I miss my celebrities though. And I was talking to a French guy last night, part of our Global marketing team, and he is fascinated by Jerry Springer. He also does not believe me when I say those people are real and not actors. He is also fascinated by American Idol.
So, anyway, I'll try to plug back in this weekend. Now get back to work Lu.
Cole
Sunday, June 17, 2007
More Kelly news...
Ok, this article somehow didn't make it to me B4...it didn't get picked up by mainstream media for some reason. I'll tell you why...becuz is shows what dumb F&^%s her record label execs are...and we wonder why she was feuding with RCA and Clive? Read on...
Kelly Clarkson: Record Label Wanted to 'Lindsay-ize' Me
TUESDAY MAY 15, 2007 10:00 AM EDT
By Stephen M. Silverman
Lohan and ClarksonPhoto by: Jamie McCarthy / WireImage; Jason Kempin / FilmMagic
It wasn't music to Kelly Clarkson's ears when her record label, RCA, asked her to cover a Lindsay Lohan tune, she says.
"My label literally sent me a Lindsay Lohan track from her last album and wanted me to record it for my new album," the American Idol winner, 25, tells MTV News.
"And while I like Lindsay Lohan, like I'm cool with her and I think she sings the song well ... it's already been on an album. I don't care what pop star it is."
Clarkson says she was offended by the suggestion. "They were just sending me stuff that was like almost insulting. I'm like, 'You can't even find new songs? You don't want me to write my album but you're sending me hand me downs?' " she tells MTV News. "I ended up writing the entire thing with the people that I write well with."
Clarkson also tells MTV, "Obviously they're a record label so they need to sell records. They want the formula writers and the formula producers that do everybody else's stuff. ... I just don't like working with someone that gives you a song and is like, 'Oh, I wrote this for you.' But you find out that they've given it to every other artist and they turned it down, you know?"
Though completed in January, Clarkson's new CD, My December, won't hit stores until June 26, she recently announced on her MySpace.com blog.
After Clarkson won Idol in 2002, her 2003 debut album, Thankful, went platinum. In 2004, she released Breakaway, which also went multi-platinum and won her two Grammys.
Ok, so since this article is from People...and I trust them...I think it speaks to how Kelly wants to be in charge of her career. No one busts on Oprah because she don't let people sign checks and spend HER money, and Kelly ain't singing Lohan hand me downs. I swear I felt my heart difibrulate when I read that shit. I almost had to get hubby to get the paddles to revive me. You know, I have to give it to Kelly. She could have blabbed about this on Ellen or on anything she has appeared on, like Jimmy Kimmel, etc. But no, she took the high road. I guess she was quoted on MTV talking about the LL song that they asked her to cover. And she even was nice to LL in her comments. Which now brings me to the conclusion that she must have been on low blood sugar, and for a Texan that means they needed to get her a chicken fried steak QUICK.
American Idol Launches Another Country Artist
Just turned on booby tubey and Tivo has Country Music Countdown Top 20 recording. So I zip through, and who is the "pick it or flick it" video of the week? Carmen Rasmussen...remember her? She was in Season 2 of American Idol. Anyway, she is a cute little blondie...Pickler like. And her voice is actually quite good. Great song and good video. I was impressed. Then I watched Kellie Pickler's new video, and she is actually quite good as well. Great song and very very touching lyrics about being abandoned by her mom. That girl just needs to lose the "i'm a dumb country girl" act. I saw her on CMT Insider and she was re-inacting the moment when she was on stage and her red high heel got stuck in the grate on the stage. Right there at a press conferenece she dropped to her knees...and of course non of the cameras could still get her in frame...dumbass. Anyway, this incident happened when she was an opening act for Kenny Chesney. OMG she got on his tour? I couldn't believe my ears. Anyway, check it all out at CMT.com if you care to. Now for those of you keeping count...there is a show called Nashville Star. And it is supposed to launch the next...you guessed it...Nashville Star. So far, only Miranda Lambert has come anywhere close to Carrie Underwood. And Miranda didn't even win Nashville Star, she came in second. How many Idol stars are selling records in the country genre...Carrie, Bucky Covington, Josh Gracin, Kellie Pickler, Carmen Rasmussen and I predict Kelly Clarkson will flip one day. I hope Phil Stacey turns country. He had a great voice... Did I miss anyone?
Happy Sunday...glad to be home from vacay...I'm on my 6th load of laundry...
Saturday, June 16, 2007
"Hey Paula"
While watching TOP CHEF tonite, they showed so many previews of the Paula Abdul reality show "Hey Paula". I feel like I've seen 50% of the first episode, and to tell you the truth, it looks really good...and funny. She's pretty stupid. And she growls at those stupid dogs she tripped over when she broke her nose. It's pretty much goofy weird and I'm gonna watch it. June 28th on BRAVO. Those Bravo people are getting all of my viewing time this summer. 4 sure.
Top Chef was awesome. I think there are some good characters in this batch.
Nighty nite.
Top Chef was awesome. I think there are some good characters in this batch.
Nighty nite.
I'm Home...in the place where I belong...MMM Hmm...
I loved listening to Daughtry on the trip. Home is my favorite song. And I am HAPPY to be back bitches....happy to play with my cats even though they are giving us the cat diss for abandoning them. One of them is holed up behind the TV armoire and the other swatted my ankle and basically said, "where you been, Ho?" My cats are ghetto.
Anyway, my husband ran to ditch the boat back into storage and I plopped my "still on vacation ass" in front of the booby tubey and immediately got my gossip fix on. But first, I found that TIVO did not pick up Top Chef. But my luck was about to change because I happen to see that a rerun of the premiere was AIRING AT T"HAT VERY MOMENT!!! I only missed 10 minutes. Yippy Skipppy. So me and my 2 tons of love hub are going to hunker down and watch it 2 night.
I also set "So You Think You Can Dance" on Tivo, and will be giving my 2 cent commentary this week. Please join in. Sara Suki and Christina highly recommend it, and they both have my same taste, so I'm dedicating summer to Top Chef and So You Think You Can Dance. ON THE LOT is OUT. Boring. Sorry, but I can't watch Carrie Fischer anymore. She bugs.
Now, on to the business at hand. I'm watching the Gospel According to Seacrest (E! Weekend Update) and catching up on all the news I missed while enjoying the great outdoors. I will post some outdoorsy pics, because I have some flippin' stellar shots of deer, eagles, ducks and geese. And no I did not go to the zoo. I was pretty amazing. I bought a new camera before I went, one that has video, and I got really neat stuff. Super keen.
For those of you that rely on me for stupid gossip, here's what I have seen so far on the show.
-Paris is back in the slammer, and out of the Looney Bin
-Lindsay Lohan is already putting together her 21st bday bash after she gets out of rehab. It will be at Pure in LV
- Britney is letting everyone suggest the name of her new album. go online and vote. Here's the funniest one...OMG is Like Lindsay Lohan okay like
- Entourage is back on sunday night. YUMMY Stuff. They are hot, hot, caliente, sizzlin'
-Evan Almighty is almost out...It's sort of the follow up to Bruce Almighty where he plays Noah...the one that built the ark..you know, for those that haven't perused The Bible
- Isaiah news is still hot because he got fired. Akon is still in trouble for doing all kind of bad shit. He wrote a whacked song where he blames everyone.
- Katie Holmes got a smokin' hot haircut. She looks pretty now, not like a college coed who snagged Cruise
- Angelina wants to have 7 - 13 kids. Tells Jon Stewart on his show. What are they thinking? It's weird.
FYI, I am writing this is real time as I watch the show.
OMG, Kelly Clarkson story.
She's on the cover of JULY ELLE magazine. Can't wait to run out and get that. Should be good. The pics are phenomenal. She talks about arguing over songs on every one of her albums. She said she had to break down and cry to get "Because of You" on the album Breakaway. That song is awesome. Ryan razzes her because he says Dudes are gonna want to ask her bitter self out on dates. She said 'i don't care, I don't want some pretty boy anyway'. She's nuts, and definitely has a "early Madonna attitude". Fuck Em. And I'd say that got Madonna a long way.
- Female troublemakers are all the rage. Rehabbers and jailed. Lindsay, Nicole, Britney and P.Hil (what Ryan calls her). And of course Amy Winehouse and Lily Allen...drunk rockers...so let's see how the Forbes Top 100 list goes.
- Top rankings go to good girls. All the drunks are off the list.
-Cruise went from #1 to #8. Cameron and Justin....Cam went off list and Johnny Depp is #6. Madonna #3. TV top players...Grey's Anatome #12. Simon Cowell #21. Oprah is #1. a Media mogul she is.
- Hey is anyone watching The Age of Love. Mark Consuelos (Mr. Kelly Ripa) is the host. He's a Hottie himself. I think I better Tivo that...
-Skinny Bitch book...what is this. Some diet book taking Hollyhood by storm.
-chick flick alert...June 29..."Evening"...Claire Danes, Meryl Streep, Glenn Close, etc....looks good. Hugh Dancy is Claires new dude and he is really British yummy...like Hugh Grant used to be before he got caught with the hooker, which in my opinion sucked 10 years off his life.
And finally PEOPLE'S Top 10 Bachelors. Well, #1 is stupid ass Matthew McCoughnehey..I can't even spell his name. OMG, Blake Lewis made the hottest Reality star guys. Adrian Grenier is my vote for hottest. Clooney can't be in because he is sexiest man alive. Leo DiCaprio can't be called because he's been dating. Ryan Seacrest didn't make it. Sad, that was so rude to point that out, on his show. Linkin' Park's new song rocks. I think I'll go download that.
So thanks for hanging through that with me. Now we are all caught up together. I'm happy to be back and I've really missed all the gossip and news.
Happy Saturday Evening everyone!
Anyway, my husband ran to ditch the boat back into storage and I plopped my "still on vacation ass" in front of the booby tubey and immediately got my gossip fix on. But first, I found that TIVO did not pick up Top Chef. But my luck was about to change because I happen to see that a rerun of the premiere was AIRING AT T"HAT VERY MOMENT!!! I only missed 10 minutes. Yippy Skipppy. So me and my 2 tons of love hub are going to hunker down and watch it 2 night.
I also set "So You Think You Can Dance" on Tivo, and will be giving my 2 cent commentary this week. Please join in. Sara Suki and Christina highly recommend it, and they both have my same taste, so I'm dedicating summer to Top Chef and So You Think You Can Dance. ON THE LOT is OUT. Boring. Sorry, but I can't watch Carrie Fischer anymore. She bugs.
Now, on to the business at hand. I'm watching the Gospel According to Seacrest (E! Weekend Update) and catching up on all the news I missed while enjoying the great outdoors. I will post some outdoorsy pics, because I have some flippin' stellar shots of deer, eagles, ducks and geese. And no I did not go to the zoo. I was pretty amazing. I bought a new camera before I went, one that has video, and I got really neat stuff. Super keen.
For those of you that rely on me for stupid gossip, here's what I have seen so far on the show.
-Paris is back in the slammer, and out of the Looney Bin
-Lindsay Lohan is already putting together her 21st bday bash after she gets out of rehab. It will be at Pure in LV
- Britney is letting everyone suggest the name of her new album. go online and vote. Here's the funniest one...OMG is Like Lindsay Lohan okay like
- Entourage is back on sunday night. YUMMY Stuff. They are hot, hot, caliente, sizzlin'
-Evan Almighty is almost out...It's sort of the follow up to Bruce Almighty where he plays Noah...the one that built the ark..you know, for those that haven't perused The Bible
- Isaiah news is still hot because he got fired. Akon is still in trouble for doing all kind of bad shit. He wrote a whacked song where he blames everyone.
- Katie Holmes got a smokin' hot haircut. She looks pretty now, not like a college coed who snagged Cruise
- Angelina wants to have 7 - 13 kids. Tells Jon Stewart on his show. What are they thinking? It's weird.
FYI, I am writing this is real time as I watch the show.
OMG, Kelly Clarkson story.
She's on the cover of JULY ELLE magazine. Can't wait to run out and get that. Should be good. The pics are phenomenal. She talks about arguing over songs on every one of her albums. She said she had to break down and cry to get "Because of You" on the album Breakaway. That song is awesome. Ryan razzes her because he says Dudes are gonna want to ask her bitter self out on dates. She said 'i don't care, I don't want some pretty boy anyway'. She's nuts, and definitely has a "early Madonna attitude". Fuck Em. And I'd say that got Madonna a long way.
- Female troublemakers are all the rage. Rehabbers and jailed. Lindsay, Nicole, Britney and P.Hil (what Ryan calls her). And of course Amy Winehouse and Lily Allen...drunk rockers...so let's see how the Forbes Top 100 list goes.
- Top rankings go to good girls. All the drunks are off the list.
-Cruise went from #1 to #8. Cameron and Justin....Cam went off list and Johnny Depp is #6. Madonna #3. TV top players...Grey's Anatome #12. Simon Cowell #21. Oprah is #1. a Media mogul she is.
- Hey is anyone watching The Age of Love. Mark Consuelos (Mr. Kelly Ripa) is the host. He's a Hottie himself. I think I better Tivo that...
-Skinny Bitch book...what is this. Some diet book taking Hollyhood by storm.
-chick flick alert...June 29..."Evening"...Claire Danes, Meryl Streep, Glenn Close, etc....looks good. Hugh Dancy is Claires new dude and he is really British yummy...like Hugh Grant used to be before he got caught with the hooker, which in my opinion sucked 10 years off his life.
And finally PEOPLE'S Top 10 Bachelors. Well, #1 is stupid ass Matthew McCoughnehey..I can't even spell his name. OMG, Blake Lewis made the hottest Reality star guys. Adrian Grenier is my vote for hottest. Clooney can't be in because he is sexiest man alive. Leo DiCaprio can't be called because he's been dating. Ryan Seacrest didn't make it. Sad, that was so rude to point that out, on his show. Linkin' Park's new song rocks. I think I'll go download that.
So thanks for hanging through that with me. Now we are all caught up together. I'm happy to be back and I've really missed all the gossip and news.
Happy Saturday Evening everyone!
Friday, June 15, 2007
still upset...but coming around
I love the notes from christina and amy. Polar opposites but both trying their best to pull me out of my funk. Christina trying to goive me some new tv shows to watch. Amy trying to tell me bad stuiff anbout kelly so turn me against her. As if!!! Ok Amy...you may be battling CANCER but no amount of chemo excuses your dissing of my Kelly. Let's not forget your heartthrob is an ex boyband freak that stole britneys virginity. Stole at the low low price of 99 cents at a walmart parking lot in Louisiana no doubt.I digress. Clive davis is a tool. A saggy,Depends wearing, whitney houston lovin' corrupt record exec with an ego as big as his prostate.
Sadly Amy I do admit that she needs to close her mouth a bit. Leave a little muystery. Nolo comprende is always a good idea some times.
Chistina, you've always got a way to cheer me up. You lu jeff and chad. (Chad probably has a hangover from the bad outcome of his LeBron lovefest) jeffro is at work at his stressful job and is probably clueless at the news aboiut Kelly.
So..Miss C I'm listening to red hot chili peppers californication and getting me rock on...and I do love pumpkins. Whew.
Sadly Amy I do admit that she needs to close her mouth a bit. Leave a little muystery. Nolo comprende is always a good idea some times.
Chistina, you've always got a way to cheer me up. You lu jeff and chad. (Chad probably has a hangover from the bad outcome of his LeBron lovefest) jeffro is at work at his stressful job and is probably clueless at the news aboiut Kelly.
So..Miss C I'm listening to red hot chili peppers californication and getting me rock on...and I do love pumpkins. Whew.
Kellly cancels tour...Cole searches for meaning to life
Ok there is just so muich bad wrapped up in this devastating news that seester and jeffro have dumped on me. First of all I have no access to more news. 2. My vacay came during a bad wk this uyear as I missed 3 great concerts in sf. Police, keith urban and kenny chesney. Now that kelly has bombed I migjht as well go deaf. Wtf. Ok I know that's a little dramatic but I'm upset.
3. The amount my husband laughed when I told him has me seriously ???ing my vows. Does this fall into the 4 worse part?I do admit he did say "I'm sorry baby i know u were looking forward to it" (with a shit eating grin)
5. That was my July reason to live. I have to stage fun things 4 weeks out because liviong in the "here and now" is not my gig. I am a forward thinker and schemer/planner/plotter. I guess I better start planning a trip to UK or LA for bizness.drat.
Well goodbye 4 now. Home tomorrow.
3. The amount my husband laughed when I told him has me seriously ???ing my vows. Does this fall into the 4 worse part?I do admit he did say "I'm sorry baby i know u were looking forward to it" (with a shit eating grin)
5. That was my July reason to live. I have to stage fun things 4 weeks out because liviong in the "here and now" is not my gig. I am a forward thinker and schemer/planner/plotter. I guess I better start planning a trip to UK or LA for bizness.drat.
Well goodbye 4 now. Home tomorrow.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
one trash novel down...1 to go
I picked some real winner books on this vacation. Real boitches and stupid men. Very witty and fiunny.
So...chad and jeffro have become seemingly bored with my topics and have turned my blog into an espn zone chatline about LeBronn and MJordan.fascinating chatter..gripping dialogue
Anyway, here's what's on my mind. Isaiah w is off greys anatomy. Good riddance. But I did think he was a good actor
Ellen degeneres has a loine of greeting cards now. Cute.
Who watched top chef??? I will when I get home. Hope you watched it.
How bad is On The Lot? Haven't watched in a while. I hate the hostess.
Saw 2 bald eagles yesterday. Suki and anthony went to see The Police last night. Can't wait to hear how that went. Bon jovi rocks a country album next Tues called Lost Hwy. Look forwards to that hitting I tunes
Well I need a nap. Woke up at 5 am and I am zapped.
So...chad and jeffro have become seemingly bored with my topics and have turned my blog into an espn zone chatline about LeBronn and MJordan.fascinating chatter..gripping dialogue
Anyway, here's what's on my mind. Isaiah w is off greys anatomy. Good riddance. But I did think he was a good actor
Ellen degeneres has a loine of greeting cards now. Cute.
Who watched top chef??? I will when I get home. Hope you watched it.
How bad is On The Lot? Haven't watched in a while. I hate the hostess.
Saw 2 bald eagles yesterday. Suki and anthony went to see The Police last night. Can't wait to hear how that went. Bon jovi rocks a country album next Tues called Lost Hwy. Look forwards to that hitting I tunes
Well I need a nap. Woke up at 5 am and I am zapped.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Hello again from the great outdoors
So before I get into a story or off on a tangent, let me respond to cjhad and Jeffro who have urged me not to blog buit to relax and enjoy my vacation. This leads me to believe that they and others like them, think posting my blog is a chore or that I am under some horrible sweatshop regime at blogger dot com. Is it lame to admit to you all that this is my favorite thing to do? Atleast oin the top 10 for sure. Things that start with S always rank higher. Shopping, sun, swim, etc. Anyway, moral to the story is chad and jeff both visited the blog and I assume it was to read something I had written or what others wrote. Thus, I am paranoid if I don't keep writing what will people do? Famous julian reads every morning. I can't let him down. And dee dee's coworkers might have to actually work. Lu jhas the same fear... So with that settled I think you all get the point. I BLOG, THEREFORE I AM.
Saturday, June 9, 2007
T minus 55 minutes and counting...to vacation
I feel like I am launching to Mars...a place with no Wi-FI is killing me. I started Xanax drips last night.
I have loved the Paris back and forth commenting. And thank god for you guys because I have been so busy wrapping up work and packing and fighting with hubby because "I am spoiled and have to empty out our entire house into the Suburban and boat to have all the comforts of home." Whatev...just pack the shit and shut it. As I leave you ...not sure when I will have contact again, I ask the following questions:
1. Where the hell is Nicky in all of this? Sister...hello? Support?
2. I smell a rat. Where was all the "i'm gonna write a journal" strong attitude. She had this medical issue for her escape plan all along. I'm surprised they didn't payoff a dr. and get a fake mammogram to say she had breast cancer to keep her out of jail. Clearly, they are not as crafty as me.
3. OMG. Did you see her crying pictures? Now THAT's a mugshot. Someone gets the new CryBaby Crown!
4. True devastation...how does it feel Paris? And really, she probably has never felt that emotion...except when Louis Vuitton decided to ship her the Spring Collection via UPS Ground instead of overnight. I'm thinking that's the level of her disappointments.
5. Is she really learning a lesson? Maybe in law, maybe in celebrity? Maybe in how celebrities should not try to work the law? Maybe in "I'm rich as shit and I should hire a BFF to drive my ass everywhere." So many lessons....
6. Will she come out as thin as Nicole Ritchie?
7. Did she get her same old cell back? I think they moved her somewhere else. Maybe less drafty...and scary.
8. Do you think she is going to get little bottles of pills from her dormmates to help her sleep?
9. How do you think she will respond when "Large Marge" decides Paris is "Pick 'O the Week?"
10. Who will she sell her story to "Oh!", People, US...or that fat bastard Perez Hilton?
Bye...I"ll miss you tons. Can't wait to find my wi-fi soon.
ColeyB
I have loved the Paris back and forth commenting. And thank god for you guys because I have been so busy wrapping up work and packing and fighting with hubby because "I am spoiled and have to empty out our entire house into the Suburban and boat to have all the comforts of home." Whatev...just pack the shit and shut it. As I leave you ...not sure when I will have contact again, I ask the following questions:
1. Where the hell is Nicky in all of this? Sister...hello? Support?
2. I smell a rat. Where was all the "i'm gonna write a journal" strong attitude. She had this medical issue for her escape plan all along. I'm surprised they didn't payoff a dr. and get a fake mammogram to say she had breast cancer to keep her out of jail. Clearly, they are not as crafty as me.
3. OMG. Did you see her crying pictures? Now THAT's a mugshot. Someone gets the new CryBaby Crown!
4. True devastation...how does it feel Paris? And really, she probably has never felt that emotion...except when Louis Vuitton decided to ship her the Spring Collection via UPS Ground instead of overnight. I'm thinking that's the level of her disappointments.
5. Is she really learning a lesson? Maybe in law, maybe in celebrity? Maybe in how celebrities should not try to work the law? Maybe in "I'm rich as shit and I should hire a BFF to drive my ass everywhere." So many lessons....
6. Will she come out as thin as Nicole Ritchie?
7. Did she get her same old cell back? I think they moved her somewhere else. Maybe less drafty...and scary.
8. Do you think she is going to get little bottles of pills from her dormmates to help her sleep?
9. How do you think she will respond when "Large Marge" decides Paris is "Pick 'O the Week?"
10. Who will she sell her story to "Oh!", People, US...or that fat bastard Perez Hilton?
Bye...I"ll miss you tons. Can't wait to find my wi-fi soon.
ColeyB
Friday, June 8, 2007
Paris Hilton Update
Now, this one has me intrigued simply from a law point of view. It's like Hollyhood has lost all perspective on who has authority to do what. It seems the Sheriff overruled the Judge when he allowed the ankle jewelry and Estate Arrest. So, new hearing scheduled by JUDGE this am. When he gets in, adjusts his robe, finds out she isn't coming, he flips his powdered wig. Immediately sends a court sheriff to fetch her ass for an in-court appearance later this afternoon.
And I hear cotton candy is selling well at this circus.
More later.
And I hear cotton candy is selling well at this circus.
More later.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
In response to commenter question...
Dear Anonymous commenter, who I suspect is a coworker of DeeDee...
You asked what DeeDee had to do with me being a whore...or soemthing like that.
Dee Dee you will learn is somehow involved in all things dramatic is Cole's life. I was talking to her when running out of gas. She did not know me until the college days, where she made herself scarce with her BF when mine visited from his college 1 hour away. She was not a whore. Hardly. She was the brains behind our operation.
BTW, Christina, I laughed so hard at you. NO OFFENSE taken by ColeyB. Of course you are the Whore of our Blog. I would never take that title from you. I prefer being the bitchy funny one. You are the whory intellect of the panel, SmartyWhore(tm). Chad is all things reasonable..CalmChad(r). Jeffro is ??? undefined since returning from Witness Protection. Lu, raised in the mission district of San Francisco and currently stalking Gavin Newsome, cannot be described well either, for fear she will cut me if I piss her off.
LOL...going to lunch now. Mmmm. Fries....
You asked what DeeDee had to do with me being a whore...or soemthing like that.
Dee Dee you will learn is somehow involved in all things dramatic is Cole's life. I was talking to her when running out of gas. She did not know me until the college days, where she made herself scarce with her BF when mine visited from his college 1 hour away. She was not a whore. Hardly. She was the brains behind our operation.
BTW, Christina, I laughed so hard at you. NO OFFENSE taken by ColeyB. Of course you are the Whore of our Blog. I would never take that title from you. I prefer being the bitchy funny one. You are the whory intellect of the panel, SmartyWhore(tm). Chad is all things reasonable..CalmChad(r). Jeffro is ??? undefined since returning from Witness Protection. Lu, raised in the mission district of San Francisco and currently stalking Gavin Newsome, cannot be described well either, for fear she will cut me if I piss her off.
LOL...going to lunch now. Mmmm. Fries....
Shasta Lake has INTERNET Access!
Whew! I can officially breathe again. I was fearful that my lifeless body would wash ashore about day 3 with no internet access and inability to reach my people. But alas, I got confirmation today that my "resort" does not have it, but the Lakeshore Inn and Restaurant down the road DOES! Guess I'll be eating out a lot. ha ha. Good news is my husband loves their prime rib, so there won't be much of a hard sell needed.
I've got a new digital camera with video! I bought a 2 GB memory card, so now I just have to learn how to post video.
Christina, we need YOU! Jeffro wants to show us his new bathing suit, which I'm sure is a speedo. We need to see that.
Cole
I've got a new digital camera with video! I bought a 2 GB memory card, so now I just have to learn how to post video.
Christina, we need YOU! Jeffro wants to show us his new bathing suit, which I'm sure is a speedo. We need to see that.
Cole
Whoa! Christina called me a whore!
Ok, so, I think i just got my first lesson in TMI. I think I shared a little too much of my past, when Christina summarizes my blog posting with "Hey, so you were a whore in high school, cool!".
Let's define whore. My definition is a chick that will sleep with anything with a pulse, doesn't care if it's her best friends brother who's in junior high, and sees the step father of her baby momma's cousin as fair game. That is a "high school whore".
I was what I like to say "monogomously promiscuous". I dated the same guy from Jr year until my senior year of college. On and off for 6 years. And NO guy in between, NEVER. And he broke my heart so I was celibate for a decade and then I met my husband. I am pretty sure "whore" is no where near accurate in describing me. Now that we have that clear...I hope we all got the point of the posting...the funny day at my office when we all talked about sex openly. I highly recommend it. Titilating.
I am guessing this post will be up for about 6 more hours, and then I will delete due to embarassment. But right now, I'm leaving it out there. I'm just sayin...
Signed,
Former Hooker Cole
Let's define whore. My definition is a chick that will sleep with anything with a pulse, doesn't care if it's her best friends brother who's in junior high, and sees the step father of her baby momma's cousin as fair game. That is a "high school whore".
I was what I like to say "monogomously promiscuous". I dated the same guy from Jr year until my senior year of college. On and off for 6 years. And NO guy in between, NEVER. And he broke my heart so I was celibate for a decade and then I met my husband. I am pretty sure "whore" is no where near accurate in describing me. Now that we have that clear...I hope we all got the point of the posting...the funny day at my office when we all talked about sex openly. I highly recommend it. Titilating.
I am guessing this post will be up for about 6 more hours, and then I will delete due to embarassment. But right now, I'm leaving it out there. I'm just sayin...
Signed,
Former Hooker Cole
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
What's funny today to me?
Well, it seems that today was really a weird day. I was off-track alot of the day. In case you don't know it, I commute 55 miles one direction to work each day, which means 55 home at night. I know, I'm nuts..but I'm too lazy to find another job and I actually like it, and it pays better than anything close by, so what the fuck, I just drive to work. Once you get there, you forget all about it. Anyway, why am I telling you this? Well, tonite, I was yapping to DeeDee and was on the SAn Mateo bridge...which is about 12 miles long...and saw that my car computer said I had 0 miles to go to empty. ZERO! and I'm over the water...running out of gas. Hello, I was about to become the traffic snarl of the evening commute. I could just see the fucking KGO helicopter buzzing over my ass, and listening to the radio...we've got a dumbass out of gas in the right lane, midspan...chunk a beer can at her as you pass by. EMBARRASSING. Well, I made it to the gas station in the barrio right past the toll plaza, thank God. And what did I learn from this...that I can push the limits on my gas gauge! right on!
Went thru McDonald's for the first time in 3 months. I cracked. I ate fries. I'm going to hell but fuck it. I love those bastard fries. Potatoe crack.
BAck to DeeDee...this is the weirdest thing...all my friends find out about me now through their friends that read my blog. DeeDee was calling me to say she was sorry to hear about Tabitha, THAT A CO-WORKER told her after reading my blog. It's so funny...my friends don't read the blog as much as their friends and boyfriends (AC) do! ha ha.
Work is weird right now because I know a secret. I can't tell anyone but it is HUGE. I have a mole. Insider info, and I am going to bust a rib keeping it in. And I'm going to be on vacation when it all unfolds. I am going to miss the major shit going down. Christina, make no mistake, I will find some way to log into internet somewhere on that godforesaken lake. I cannot be this incommunicado. I simply cannot. I mean a week without Starbuck's is almost unbearable. But I will take my Xanax and get through it. Does anyone know if you can buy that shit from Canada OTC, or from online pharmacy? Because I don't want to go back and beg that bitch of a doctor for a refill. She doesn't believe me when I say I suffer anxiety. She thinks I'm just stressed out from work. So what the fuck is the difference?: Does she think she is going to save the world by denying me a chill pill? She only gave me 6 and it's lasted me 4 months. I don't think that qualifies me for rehab. Actually, I'll just ask my neighbor who goes to High School. I'm sure the school nurse dispenses them along with the condoms. ha ha.
Today at lunch we got into a discussion about how much sex we had in high school. I guess everyone sees me as pretty straightlaced goody 2 shoes because I am a sr. manager. Whatever. I was raised in small town in Texas for God's sake. We only had 2 screens at the movie theatre. What were we supposed to do? Drink and have sex. In that order. Of course, looking back I am appalled at my behavior, for about a nano-second and then I remember how I had big enough boobs to pass for 18 when I was a sophomore in high school. Good times. Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill. Suh-weet! God I was so stupid. One time, I saw my boyfriend drive by and I turned so sharply to chase him down, I put my tiny car on 2 wheels. Holy Shit I will never forget that Duke's of Hazzard move. My dad asked me what happened to my tires! ha ha.
Ok, well, this has been a weird trip down memory lane for me. Always check the time of my posts. When it's late at night, beware. I start to digress and lose it a bit.
Hey, I'm buying a bicycle for the summer. Jeffro got a summer pass to the state park, Christina has a new bathing suit, and so does Jeffro I guess, and so I'm getting a bike...and so it my hub. What kind should I buy? Schwinn, or fancier? Is the weight really important? Lighter bikes better?
night-all
Went thru McDonald's for the first time in 3 months. I cracked. I ate fries. I'm going to hell but fuck it. I love those bastard fries. Potatoe crack.
BAck to DeeDee...this is the weirdest thing...all my friends find out about me now through their friends that read my blog. DeeDee was calling me to say she was sorry to hear about Tabitha, THAT A CO-WORKER told her after reading my blog. It's so funny...my friends don't read the blog as much as their friends and boyfriends (AC) do! ha ha.
Work is weird right now because I know a secret. I can't tell anyone but it is HUGE. I have a mole. Insider info, and I am going to bust a rib keeping it in. And I'm going to be on vacation when it all unfolds. I am going to miss the major shit going down. Christina, make no mistake, I will find some way to log into internet somewhere on that godforesaken lake. I cannot be this incommunicado. I simply cannot. I mean a week without Starbuck's is almost unbearable. But I will take my Xanax and get through it. Does anyone know if you can buy that shit from Canada OTC, or from online pharmacy? Because I don't want to go back and beg that bitch of a doctor for a refill. She doesn't believe me when I say I suffer anxiety. She thinks I'm just stressed out from work. So what the fuck is the difference?: Does she think she is going to save the world by denying me a chill pill? She only gave me 6 and it's lasted me 4 months. I don't think that qualifies me for rehab. Actually, I'll just ask my neighbor who goes to High School. I'm sure the school nurse dispenses them along with the condoms. ha ha.
Today at lunch we got into a discussion about how much sex we had in high school. I guess everyone sees me as pretty straightlaced goody 2 shoes because I am a sr. manager. Whatever. I was raised in small town in Texas for God's sake. We only had 2 screens at the movie theatre. What were we supposed to do? Drink and have sex. In that order. Of course, looking back I am appalled at my behavior, for about a nano-second and then I remember how I had big enough boobs to pass for 18 when I was a sophomore in high school. Good times. Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill. Suh-weet! God I was so stupid. One time, I saw my boyfriend drive by and I turned so sharply to chase him down, I put my tiny car on 2 wheels. Holy Shit I will never forget that Duke's of Hazzard move. My dad asked me what happened to my tires! ha ha.
Ok, well, this has been a weird trip down memory lane for me. Always check the time of my posts. When it's late at night, beware. I start to digress and lose it a bit.
Hey, I'm buying a bicycle for the summer. Jeffro got a summer pass to the state park, Christina has a new bathing suit, and so does Jeffro I guess, and so I'm getting a bike...and so it my hub. What kind should I buy? Schwinn, or fancier? Is the weight really important? Lighter bikes better?
night-all
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
It's Summertime: Countdown to Vacation
Well, party peeps, in 3 days the blogpound is going to have to track Paris in jail without me. I'm headed to the 2nd biggest lake in California, Shasta Lake. (Lake Tahoe being the biggest.) It's about 3 hours north of my hood, and the resort we stay at (loose term for bunch of cabins on the water) does not have wi-fi, or plug in, or cellular access. No communicado. Which reminds me I need to buy a phone card before we go, so we can check with the neighbors to be sure our house didn't burn down or a cat escape. My biggest decisions of the day will be:
1. What to eat? Cheetos, Ding Dongs or Hot Dogs
2. What bathing suit to wear? spf 15 30 or 45
3. Sit by the pool or go out in the boat?
4. Magazine or smut paperback
5. Sudoku puzzle or Nintendo DS game
6. Repeat list.
Anyway, thanks Christina for posting your new bathing suit...and while you say this is your first 1 piece suit since puberty, I assure you there is not enough "piece" there to qualify. I wore more than that to my last gyno appointment. Really, where'd you get that "minx at the pool" getup anyway? And have you thought about the tan lines with that thing? You are going to be white in the shape of an hourglass with a tan hole in the middle. Hey, enough of that, where are my Daughtry pics?
I had a chat with Famous Julian today. He's headed to NYC. Lucky Brit that he is. I told him not to come back without some good East Coast trash for me to write about. He's got some good meetings which I can't disclose. But suffice to say, he will not disappoint. Safe travels Jules.
Nighty Night
1. What to eat? Cheetos, Ding Dongs or Hot Dogs
2. What bathing suit to wear? spf 15 30 or 45
3. Sit by the pool or go out in the boat?
4. Magazine or smut paperback
5. Sudoku puzzle or Nintendo DS game
6. Repeat list.
Anyway, thanks Christina for posting your new bathing suit...and while you say this is your first 1 piece suit since puberty, I assure you there is not enough "piece" there to qualify. I wore more than that to my last gyno appointment. Really, where'd you get that "minx at the pool" getup anyway? And have you thought about the tan lines with that thing? You are going to be white in the shape of an hourglass with a tan hole in the middle. Hey, enough of that, where are my Daughtry pics?
I had a chat with Famous Julian today. He's headed to NYC. Lucky Brit that he is. I told him not to come back without some good East Coast trash for me to write about. He's got some good meetings which I can't disclose. But suffice to say, he will not disappoint. Safe travels Jules.
Nighty Night
U-G-L-Y Pic
Photoshopped? Real? This poor girl. I swear I actually can't believe anyone is this stupid.
Paris in the Slammer - Day 2
I told you so...
That bedding is killing Paris, according to some insiders. She is freezing, the light is too bright, people chant her name, and she doesn't even have a freakin' pillow. Want to know why? Because they know someone would smother her to death with it. And she reports she hasn't eaten a thing. And we are supposed to believe she eats as a normal routine??? 115 lbs don't happen because you eat DAILY Paris. You get to eat on even number days...those are days with numbers divisible by 2, in case you are slow on the uptake, and I'm just sayin....
Did you hear the crowd at the MTV music awards erupted into applause when Sara Silverman mentioned her jail trip? And the camera was focused on Paris. Now if she could act that well in her next movie, she might have a career. She was smiling and unflappable. I would have shot the finger at them, knowing it was on 7-second network Howard Stern FCC delay, and knowing that camera man would have to back the fuck off. And I might have found a foot to plant my Jimmy Choo spike heel, just for good measure. That girl isn't going to last to the weekend with a smile and a shrug. She's gonna get shanked.
Instead of dragging her to a lame ass 30 year high school reunion this weekend, Kathy Hilton should have had Avril Lavigne come over and give her some tough shit lessons. Avril flies the bird with the greatest of ease.
I see lots of bowls of jello flying at Paris in the prison commissary. Poor thing. She'll be as skinny as Nicole by 4th of July weekend. Can't wait to see the pictures. This is the real world road kill I need to pick me up. Even if it is stupid Paris Hilton.
And Entourage is just so damn decandent...if you already have TIVO, you need now to get HBO. Good shows coming up too.
Bye for now.
ColeyB
(fyi, i stole the art at the top of this page from tmz.com. I'm just sayin.)
Monday, June 4, 2007
What the hell is going on?
I feel like there just has to be something new breaking in the news soon. I mean I can't even find a damn thing on the internet or tv remotely interesting or exciting. I've resorted to going to Perez Hilton, for God's sake. In brief, THE only good things I have found to cheer me up are:
1. The Soup. As promised by Lu and Christina and my mahvelous seester, that is some funny shit. F-U-N-N-Y.
2. David Spade - On his news report..."This just in...the Vodka company previously announced as the title sponsor on Lindsay's 21 st bday party has pulled out. The good news is (flash to map of Colombia) the government of Colombia is still on board to provide party favors. Funny ass shit.
3. Repeated airings of that dumbass Miss America landing on her ass. What's really funny is not the ass landing, but the fake oscar-worthy performance that follows...where you can almost read her mind...'it didn't happen, keep going, they probably didn't even notice...it wasn't that bad, I bet the camera didn't even catch it...it'll all blow over.' Yeah, it blew over like a big fart in first class. Everyone wants to see the pretty girl fall. Come on, you know that shit is funny.
So, in case I am your only news source to what's going down in the HollyHood...here's the latest count of rehabbers, jailed debutantes and those awaiting sentencing or on the cusp of shizz-asster...
Jailed: Duh, Princess P and her hair extensions are incarcerated. 15 hours in, was reported as cooperative and nice. Yeah, let's hear when she has been sleeping for awhile on worse surfaces than I sleep on when camping. I swear I saw a homeless guy with a sweet piece of eggcrate that was thicker than that jailbed. I can just see her sporting bed sores and having to spend 20 of her 23 days in sickbay because her bony ass poked through her skin. She already missed lunch meeting with her lawyer, so she has no doubt looking to shed a few pounds during her stay as well. I guarantee you she lied about her lockdown weight too. She 5 7" and says she weighs 115. Liar. Those extensions have to be atleast 3 lbs alone.
Next for sentencing: Nicole. BFF of Inmate Hilton. Shaking in her tiny little shoes, no doubt. And people are wondering why she is still with ignition keys in hand...she did worse things behind the wheel than Paris and still has her license? Mmm? Does this mean Lionel Ritchie is more powerful than Kathy Hilton with the legal eagles in LA? Also, Nicole went on Seacrest's radio show to defend her Memorial Day bbq invite...where no girls weighing over 100 would be allowed through the door...a scale would be at the door...does this mean Paris couldn't get in? ha ha
Rehab: Lindsay. I say she is going to skip Jail and end up with Anna Nicole. I swear this on
Normal girls acting up: Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel and Jessica Simpson. I swear they are acting up to get in the news. Even Avril Lavigne is flying the bird at paparrazzi. Can you image what it must be like to be a nice girl in Hollywood right now? No rap sheet or booking photo, no press. I look for someone to pull a Winona Ryder anyday now and "oops" lift a blouse at Kitson or Fred Segal. Like they say, bad pr is better than no pr.
Leaving you now to go find some other inspiration. Gotta start packing for the vacation. I got 3 bathing suits in the mail today from Swimsuitsforall.com. What an awesome thing...trying it on in your own home. Terrific. My husband killed one of them for too much boobage. I guess he wants my hooker look to stay at home this vacation. Buzzkiller. Bye now.
And thanks again for all the nice notes on the loss of Tabitha. It was really nice to read and cheer me up. You're all the best.
1. The Soup. As promised by Lu and Christina and my mahvelous seester, that is some funny shit. F-U-N-N-Y.
2. David Spade - On his news report..."This just in...the Vodka company previously announced as the title sponsor on Lindsay's 21 st bday party has pulled out. The good news is (flash to map of Colombia) the government of Colombia is still on board to provide party favors. Funny ass shit.
3. Repeated airings of that dumbass Miss America landing on her ass. What's really funny is not the ass landing, but the fake oscar-worthy performance that follows...where you can almost read her mind...'it didn't happen, keep going, they probably didn't even notice...it wasn't that bad, I bet the camera didn't even catch it...it'll all blow over.' Yeah, it blew over like a big fart in first class. Everyone wants to see the pretty girl fall. Come on, you know that shit is funny.
So, in case I am your only news source to what's going down in the HollyHood...here's the latest count of rehabbers, jailed debutantes and those awaiting sentencing or on the cusp of shizz-asster...
Jailed: Duh, Princess P and her hair extensions are incarcerated. 15 hours in, was reported as cooperative and nice. Yeah, let's hear when she has been sleeping for awhile on worse surfaces than I sleep on when camping. I swear I saw a homeless guy with a sweet piece of eggcrate that was thicker than that jailbed. I can just see her sporting bed sores and having to spend 20 of her 23 days in sickbay because her bony ass poked through her skin. She already missed lunch meeting with her lawyer, so she has no doubt looking to shed a few pounds during her stay as well. I guarantee you she lied about her lockdown weight too. She 5 7" and says she weighs 115. Liar. Those extensions have to be atleast 3 lbs alone.
Next for sentencing: Nicole. BFF of Inmate Hilton. Shaking in her tiny little shoes, no doubt. And people are wondering why she is still with ignition keys in hand...she did worse things behind the wheel than Paris and still has her license? Mmm? Does this mean Lionel Ritchie is more powerful than Kathy Hilton with the legal eagles in LA? Also, Nicole went on Seacrest's radio show to defend her Memorial Day bbq invite...where no girls weighing over 100 would be allowed through the door...a scale would be at the door...does this mean Paris couldn't get in? ha ha
Rehab: Lindsay. I say she is going to skip Jail and end up with Anna Nicole. I swear this on
Normal girls acting up: Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel and Jessica Simpson. I swear they are acting up to get in the news. Even Avril Lavigne is flying the bird at paparrazzi. Can you image what it must be like to be a nice girl in Hollywood right now? No rap sheet or booking photo, no press. I look for someone to pull a Winona Ryder anyday now and "oops" lift a blouse at Kitson or Fred Segal. Like they say, bad pr is better than no pr.
Leaving you now to go find some other inspiration. Gotta start packing for the vacation. I got 3 bathing suits in the mail today from Swimsuitsforall.com. What an awesome thing...trying it on in your own home. Terrific. My husband killed one of them for too much boobage. I guess he wants my hooker look to stay at home this vacation. Buzzkiller. Bye now.
And thanks again for all the nice notes on the loss of Tabitha. It was really nice to read and cheer me up. You're all the best.
Saturday, June 2, 2007
Sad Day for ColeyB
Sorry everyone, but I'm in a bad place today. Not to bum everyone out, but I guess I'm as human as the next soul. Sadly, I had to put my 2 year old cat, Tabitha, to sleep this afternoon. She got really sick last night, labored breathing, and had a bunch of fluid fill her body cavity. We had to make the difficult decision on the fly because she was in such distress and oxygen wasn't helping. We couldn't opt for tubes and tests and life support. That just wasn't in us. So we said goodbye.
So, taking a hiatus for a bit. Bear with me, I won't be gone for long, but I'm just too sad to think right now. Even the idea of Paris going to jail is not cheering me up. Do me a favor and send me some happy thoughts. I could really use them right now. Tears aren't stopping and I just need to sign off for a bit.
Talk to you again soon, I hope.
ColeyB
So, taking a hiatus for a bit. Bear with me, I won't be gone for long, but I'm just too sad to think right now. Even the idea of Paris going to jail is not cheering me up. Do me a favor and send me some happy thoughts. I could really use them right now. Tears aren't stopping and I just need to sign off for a bit.
Talk to you again soon, I hope.
ColeyB
Friday, June 1, 2007
Itunes Purchases 'O the Day
Hey, I finally got around to checking out the Itunes Idol selection. You can get 5 Jordin songs for $3.99. For those slow on the uptake, that's buy 4 get one free! Both Blake and Jordin have an EP up there, and of course, I bought Jordin's whole selection. From Blake I bought Lovesong (the Cure) and Time of the Season. I liked it when he sang it.
Good times. Burning cd now. I'll throw a few Daughtry and Kelly songs on to round it out.
It's Freakin' Friday!!!!! Whoo Hoo. And we got our annual raises today, so I'll be having an EXTRA slice of cheese on my Big Mac tomorrow night, and Super Sizin' my fries. Trying not to spend it all in one place.
ColeyB
Good times. Burning cd now. I'll throw a few Daughtry and Kelly songs on to round it out.
It's Freakin' Friday!!!!! Whoo Hoo. And we got our annual raises today, so I'll be having an EXTRA slice of cheese on my Big Mac tomorrow night, and Super Sizin' my fries. Trying not to spend it all in one place.
ColeyB
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