Well, it 24 time...and NO Jack Bauer doesn't count this one down

First off, I have to say, Ryan Rather should shoot someone in the head for making him perform that stupid ass opening. What the hell was that shitfest of an opening. What did the sandwich have to do with anything? Hayden Christiansen and the desert...who the hell is he anyway. I've seen better skits by my 4th grade drama club. Gawd-awful.

Ok, there are only a few I really care about tonite...

Irish Kelly (Carly is her name)
Rate R Movie Girl, Brooke the Nanny
David DayDee, now known as HottieBoy
Rocker Nurse
Asia
CryBaby CarBoy
Farm Chick Kristy Lee, now known as Felicity

Pauler is such a bitch. She is dragging out out Carly, and that was ludicrous. YIPPY SKIPPY, she is in! Simon loves her...he kissed her head! Simon said you tortured her. I think she might be one of my top favorites. She's Irish Kelly. I love her, more than any other boy. I can't really remember any guy but DayDee/David. My husband is picking David as the winner, right now. Or, to quote him...that Fucker is going to Win this Thing. This kid has a future...I swear I will be buying his shit. I know it.

Oh SNAP, I just saw the trailer for JUMPER. I should have known they pimped Ryan out to promote a movie with Hayden Christiansen. Jumper... I hate Fox. If this show was on a network with integrity, it might be different.

So far, all my faves are in. Kristy Lee Cook reminds me of Felicity...my ALL TIME FAVORITE chickflik show. So, she will now be known as Felicity.

Lord these people are crying buckets...are they pepper spraying them in that elevator? What is going on here? Were they all told a relative died in a car crash...seems to be a theme? God, this is awful. Nanny Girl almost has a nervous breakdown...I think she peed the seat.

Ok, Danny with the shag hairdo reminds me of Florence Henderson...aka Mrs. Brady. So, he's in and now is known as Brady. These other ones are not special because we don't even see them, and have never even seen some of them sing. This little Asian girl...remember her wanting to be the first little Asian chick to go.

BTW, what the hell is up with that fat bun on the side of Pauler's head? It's like half a StarWars wig. Pork bun Pauler.

Ok, back to Ramiele..she's in. We are calling her Sweet Thing. Next up...wrecked voice chick. She's gotta be in. She has a really nice voice. I'm not feeling her enough yet to give her a name. I bet they save CryBaby CarBoy for the end. Ok, here's my seester's favorite...Queen singer, Michael Johns. If he's in, we will call him Queenie. And Queenie it IS. Yea Seester...even though you are a lesbian, you now have a boy to have a crush on...LOL

OK, voice challenged girl is going to be called Flash (short for flash cards!) Listen if she doesn't make it, she could replace Tyra Tanks on America's Top Model. OMG, that was so funny,,,I accidentally typed Tanks. Not Banks..but thinking about her big ass attitude, I'd say Tanks is fitting. Oh, that Robbie guy is in.

OH< after the break is CryBaby CarBoy. It's 5:00 pm now. Garrett Haley and Cady Malloy. Amy Davis Alaina Whitaker. Lots of them in a row. Kinda crazy. Asia Epherson...come on, it's the car wreck thing again. Oh man, let her win on her talent, not because everyone feels sorry for her. Let the girl SANG it. Bring it and Sing It Girl. She's one of my FAVES. I even want to buy that song "I'm Going Down". She even has performance down already,. David Hernandez was great. Come on. It had to be unanimous. You fools. Just put him through Randy. Rat Bastard. And back in the pepper spray booth, they break into more tears.

Today is CryBaby's most important day of his life. Now, it could be because his car was towed...thus he is homeless, or he realizes that the week's of free food and hotel rooms will go along way for a roof over his head. Ok, look, we've watched 6 seasons of this shit. And they killed him. He's homeless again. I have to say, I'm sort of glad he's gone, because I was going to have to go on fucking valium to watch him each week. Really. Rip the bandaid off now. Dammit, it's a good thing he doesn't live near me, or he'd be sleeping in my guest bedroom for the next year. I'd nurse him back to mental health like a little wounded bird. Oh, he is so crushed. Ryan, write him a check for fuck's sake. Atleast some gas money and KFC cash. Oh God, I can't stand it. Please get him off the screen. Hey, grab some of that free food off those tables on the way out. God I am a bitch. Bipolar too.
Down to 4 contestants. Now I hope not to speak insensitively and it's sort of hard to say this, but we are seriously missing in Black contestants this season. Did I miss seeing them? Is there like 1 Black guy in there? I remember reading somewhere that they had to really watch the Black Woman because they are such power ballad singers.

Simon wanted that GEEK to go through. Simey, you can vote for him for President one day. Oh wait, you can't cuz your Britishish. I have to admit I was looking forward to that hair getting cut. What a nice boy. Down to the final 2 girls. Oh, here's the Black girl ballad singer. And the girl that moved to Nashville to make it. That other girl sux. She's pretty and has hot legs...but let's go for talent over leg length here. Carden could be a soap opera actress. She looks like Hunter Tylo. Oh Lord they are talking about how beautiful they are...I bet they keep them both. Not really. Bye Bye Carden. Maybe you can open up for Kellie Pickler. Off you both go to the Pepper Spray Vator.

Hey Who is Luke Menard????

FUCK Tivo cut off the show. I HATE TIVO. FUCK FUCK FUCK. Sorry, but I'm so pissed. Idon't hav ethe list of the girls. dammit. I have to go throw up now.

Well, I'll look at it tomorrow at the website.

So, that was fun. I'm sort of sad about CryBaby CarBoy. I hope he doesn't read this because my husband said we can't adopt him like a stray cat. But I would. I always give little kids money at the store. My husband hates it. He says I am acting like a crazy lady. Sometimes I throw pennies down on the ground so they can find them. I love it when they laugh. It's more fun that tipping the Starbucks barrista that eyeballs me when I ask for extra milk fat. I'm still not over that shit.