Welcome to Coley B's Blog-O-Rama of Drama

Blogstress, Cole Bronn, writes little tidbits and occasionally rants about American Idol and other celebrity gossip. And she knits too.

Friday, February 1, 2008

News alert: Starbucks sales are plummeting



True story I just ran across in the Financial Yahoo! With the stock plummeting and competitors on the attack, Starbucks Coffee has announced that it is bringing back its top barista to help turn the company around. Announces a news CEO....blah, blah, blah...I won't bore you with the rest of the story.

ANOTHER big headline in yesterday's NEWS: Britney Committed

Does anyone besides me, see a link in these 2 headlines and the tangled web they weave together? Follow me...

Mr. Starbuckle. Here's ColeyB's tip to turn your frown upside down, and get that stock price climbing...get BRITNEY Spears out of the hospital and back on the juice. I fear that millions of fans are linking Britney's unfortunate inability to sleep for three days to her daily intake of 12 Venti Frappacinos. That scientific evidence, coupled with the loss in Britney's sales alone every hour on the hour is killing you dude. Pure and simple. By the way, the new Skinny Latte pisses me off. I know its the new year..I like to call January "Celebrate Anorexia Month" because suddenly people 7 pounds overweight feel the need to stop eating solid food. It's smoothie this, laxative that. I hear more about people's fiber intake issues than necessary. I'm sick to death of hearing diet ads, etc. So, where was I going with this...well, oh, yeah, so today I wheel up and get my It's Fuckin' Friday Frappucino (I only allow myself one spin thru the drive thru a week.) and that big old Skinny Latte sign hit me in the face. So, I ordered my usual "Venti Toffee Nut Latte, extra hot, no whip" and he said...do you want that non-fat. And I said, "no, I want the fat thanks". Now isn't that fucked up? I had to ask for fat. Can't they just put the shit in there and not embarass me. And then, he had to ask further. Low Fat or Whole Fat. Oh for God sakes, I replied "Yes, I want you to back that cow right up to my cup and give me the full 5-udder experience. I want fat in my milk. As a matter of fact, I want that cow eating a bag of Cheetos when you milk him, so I get extra fat" Anyway, I still love my Starbucks.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

It's sad about Britney but even sadder when McDonald's beats Starbucks in a coffee taste test!

Anonymous said...

Mcdonalds free coffee Monday was huge. Other places are following suit. Chick Fil A now offers a free breakfast entree on Wednesday. Look for Starbucks to do something like that and/or add a bunch of new flavor combos. They will bounce back