Welcome to Coley B's Blog-O-Rama of Drama

Blogstress, Cole Bronn, writes little tidbits and occasionally rants about American Idol and other celebrity gossip. And she knits too.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

We're in the Big D now people!!!

Oh my God, they are starting the show with an ex meth addict? WTF I knew they were going to start showing more of the back stories of the contestants, but I don't want this show to be a big tear jerker. So, here she goes with her audition. Jessica Brown. Simon looks like he is thinking about what he is going to eat for dinner. Hard to read him. Fuck, I am already crying and this show is only 6 minutes into it. Wholly shizbits.
Ok, here's a dorko...he's a park attendant. Ok, well, Chris Daughtry was a auto car service writer. haha. But he was a hottie. Ok, so they gave him his :15 seconds + of fame. Oh Lord, I just saw on the commerical break that that devil chick from last night pulled a stunt in Times Square today, after her airing on the show last night. I'll have to find out and post later.

What in the name of all things idol are those 2 pimple face hippies doing? OMG, they didn't even wait to hear a "no" they just walked. OMG, I've seen it all. Creepy boy and his heart with his dad. He's never kissed a girl. No one seems to be pondering the fact that the boy is gay?? On my wedding day will be my first kiss. They will pick this guy, just so they can throw him in a room with Britney and/or Jessica Simpson, and then taunt him to dare not to kiss them. haha. Oh, they are shocking me...it's a NO. Advice: Kiss some girls, or Ryan on the way out. ha ha. I think he still thinks girls have cooties. And it's true, we do.
Texas Talent is not really showing up. Tia is from Chicago...so she don't counts. And she's not good. Pass. Oh, they let her through. I dislike Fantasia Barrino greatly, and she reminds me of her.
VOMIT. I just vomited my Chinese food. The fingernail boy just put me over the edge. Honestly, I will not eat another bite of food tonite. And they are talking about it endlessly. Seriously, my stomach is churning. He reminds me of Elliott Yamin a bit. Forgettable...I don't think so. He's fingernail boy. oh puhleeze Randy ditch him. Oh, boy he insulted Randy. funny. Randy, I hate your freaking sideburns btw.
Kayla Dawn Hatfield, former survivor of a car crash, has now come on to the stage. Oh man, I'm searching for the Tivo button. Why oh why? They let her through. Only to crush her later.
Oh, puleeze bring on some good stuff. Katie Malloy from Houston Texas...wow she can do some crazy impressions...and she is awesome. I like her. She reminds me of Halle Berry but sort of Jennifer Lopez-ish I really think she is terrific. OMG, Simon has a feeling about her. I think I see him sitting funny in his chair so I think this feeling is below the belt. hee hee

1/2 down, Day 2 to go. Douglas the pudgy doughboy trys out a little Bon Jovi. I think he bust a lung. On his warmups. What the bloody hell was that, SSez. Pauler looks nice today. Her headband is awesome. This freak is like acting like he is in improvisational theatre, not AI. Has he ever watched this show? He actually is acting like a guy who's wife is in labor and he's in the waiting room.
Ok Angela and her model babe husband are the best thing of the night. She was fucking great. Hilarious. Hey, he's a hottie. She's lucky. Angela, just go get your hubby and and get on with it. Chad, would you buy your wife? What a quote.
Hold the phone people...we got ourselves a cowboy. Mmm Hmm..hottie farm boy alert. Farm boys are hotter than city boys by the way. They are sweeter 4 sure.
Politician Super Geek. I swear to goodness I would go to LA to meet him. I would love to mess with him Ok, deadpan girl. I swear I could sing better than that in my shower. I call her coma girl. Ryan thinks she seem in shock. Ooohh, now are you seeing what I'm seeing. I may have my new hottie alert. Colton singing Little Big Town and 'Boondocks'. Nice. me needs some eye candy. Let's hope someone in hollywood has a tiny weedeater to tackle those eyebrows. They are a bit like caterpillars mating on his forehead. I'm surprised he can wear a baseball cap. Yeah, cowboy hottie made it through too. The eyecandy jar is getting pretty full this season. Atleast I haven't seen a freaking manchild Sanjaya yet. I wonder if they will watch who goes through this year to avoid the Sanjayjay issue in this season. i wonder if that freakenstein Howard Stern is going to try the throw shit at the show again? Guyliner rocker gets booted, of course. Nina Shaw from Burleson gets through. I think they have Bobby Trendy in a white suit here. OMG I am your brother, your best friend forever, singing the songs to the music that you like. Oh, if only that was available when I got married. What a great first dance that woiuld have been. I swear I never laughed so hard as to when Paula started laughing. BTW this dude is 44

Ok, thanks to everyone for sending fun email today. Listen, this stupid shit is better than watching reruns of Gilligan's Island, right? Ok, so stop your bitching Jeffro.

xoxo...love ya mean it. coleyb

8 comments:

Lu said...

oh. wow. the filipino liberace was killing me. I hope these auditions dont drag on for days....let's get to Hollywood already!

Cole Bronn said...

Lu you little sniper. patience grasshopper.
FIlipino Liberace. you kill me, and inspire me
Did you see Amy's email to throw in the Nintendo bling? ha ha

Anonymous said...

Cole - DAMMIT! Now, you have me watching this stuff; because your blog is so darn funny. Now, I have lost all sense of decorum, because I actually have enjoyed the first 2 episodes. Oh God - what would Mamita say?

Anonymous said...

Is that The Maloo?!? Hey there!

Seester

Anonymous said...

Two weeks at my new gig and I have my co workers reading your blog. They have it bookmarked. They love it. In a side note, prodution is down 70 percent. They are thrilled to have me aboard. By the way, do you like how Randy is rockin the mudchops? One of Taylor Hicks back ups tried out. I'm not sure if that was a amart thing to mention that but she got thru anyway. Sweet.

Anonymous said...

Just read my last post. Not only is production down but obviously my spelling is on the downswing as well. I need to have a proof reader or something. Please do not dock me any blogger points. Have a nice weekend.

Anonymous said...

I like Randy's new look.

tinkfromcalif said...

I just have to wonder if AI realizes that people typically have their dessert/nighttime snack while watching TV. Let me tell you when that freak of nature took out his bag of "peeled" nails my hand was reaching for my popcorn and I seriously wanted to hurl!!! WTF...who saves their nails?!? That seriously was one of THE grossest things I have ever seen!
Next wierdness of the night was daddy and son necklaces...OMG need I say more? I think not. I will just leave it at that.
The last guy was pretty darn funny! After it was over my phone rang immediately with my sister and brother in law singing me that song...LOL They were almost as bad as he was!
Have a great Friday everyone!