The First Show; Season 7: Here We Go!!!

It's going to take me a bit to get in the groove. First of all, TIVO failed me and I missed the first 10 minutes of the show. Doh. I'm over it. So far...blah, blah, blah. Ok, here comes Temptress, the 16 year old that they are going to treat as normal, even though it is clear she is seriously in poor health, as is her mother on oxygen in a wheel chair weighing 500+ lbs. This is not nice and I don't like this part of the show. Of course, she has as much of a right to be there as anyone else but ugh, it's a hard call here. Notice in the eventual group hug with Temptress, who cried chocolate tears, it did not include Simon...and then he had to go and act all human and walk her out to her parents. I thought that was nice. And I know all you freakin cynics were claiming it was staged, etc. but...it worked out ok. She got her moment with the celebs.

You know what I think? If the rest of the auditions end up like this, I'm going to slit my wrists. I did love the "crickets" guy. And Ugi the Pimp Costumed Finance guy who does the MC Hammer dance. Freaks across America is what people watching this in foreign lands must call this show. He sings My Way and I know that Frank Sinatra is calling a hit on him from his grave. Simon gets rude and tells him to keep his batteries in his "cowell cue late tor."

Why does Paula have a white bra on underneath that brown blouse. So tacky. Girls dressed like that in Texas are called Tacky. Simon opened up a new pack of Jockey tshirts for the big event.
Why do they put the scary bitch Alexis on this show. Janis Joplin and Grace Slick's alter-ego. This is not the route for her...according to Simon. This competition is not for her. She needs to be in a cover band. She is floored. Stunned. I swear I can't believe she isn't blind by the amount of glitter on her face. She seems so sweet suddenly. I'm just waiting for the explosion of emotion we saw on the commercial break. Simon is a bad word and she's going for "actressing". And with that she promises to leave with Dignity and her definition of dignity includes saying f-u twenty times a minute and fly the finger at him. Why did they give her more time than the presidential candidates get on election day. She got like 2.5 million dollars in airtime. What a waste. I could have read Green Eggs and Ham on tv and been more interesting.
I like Angela Martin...that cute little black wedding singer...she's an early prediction for me to make it through pretty far. Ok, now pay attention...Christy Lee Cook...Selma Oregon. They already have footage of her home and her on the horse. Do you think she makes it to Hollywood? I'm thinking she probably has a website already. She's a Carrie Clone, if I ever saw one. Here's the singing. Right off the bat she reminds me of Sugarland's lead singer...the one that did the duet with Bon Jovi...Jennifer Nettles. She's awesome. She's in the top 6 guaranteed. Maybe the Top 3. She's freakin' 6 feet tall. They will make her look like 2 million euros by week 10.
WTF is that chest haired beast. They just need to go ahead and shoot his "America's Most Wanted" segment now, while they have him in custody, because he will commit a heinous crime when he eventually cracks completely. OMG they waxed him.
Oh boy, love song for Paula Abdul. FREAK. A prime candidate for stalker court. OMG, he starts singing about being a stalker. Did I call that one? Ironically, the next contestant is Beth Stalker. Mmm. She's beautiful. Great voice. I knew they wouldn't like that wedding singer lounge act stuff. Pauler puts her through. Simon, I hope we don't see you on an Oprah clip, having to take back those disses.
Hey, Paula has a Blackberry. I see her sneak typing on it below the table.
Star Wars freaky Christina is next. Ok, now this shit is good, and she puts it out there that she has concealer on her acne that is not so bad anymore. She either goes to Hollywood or pursues the inevidable career as a corrections officer. Sounds like the it's the slammer for you Star freak. Lu, I wish you were in my living room. We would be cracking our ass up over this chick.
Brook White the nanny is next. She's never seen a rated R movie. She's awesome. I like her, obviously. If you didnt like her you probably kick puppies.
Peace Out people...I'm drained. More tomorrow. I hope my fellow Texans don't let me down. You know, I lived in Dallas for 7 years before migrating to California. I always like to see my homeland peeps performing. Oh, before I go...shout out to the dude I met at the Car Dr. today. Hope you enjoyed the show and now the blog. See, I wasn't lying to you. I really have a blog commenting on American Idol. And my name is really Cole. :)