Welcome to Coley B's Blog-O-Rama of Drama

Blogstress, Cole Bronn, writes little tidbits and occasionally rants about American Idol and other celebrity gossip. And she knits too.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

American Idol in Charleston...I love the South

Duet torture!!! I love this message board love story. Only in America. We met RIGHT there next to that trash can...and Simon has to go and make it nasty by telling them to check into a hotel. Bad Simon.

I love the South. Oh Lordy...bow shicka bow wow...Meet the one and the only brother and sister Chub, of the Charleston Chubs. OMG, I love these people. I would make a fucking sitcom out of these people. They have so much personality. Using a necktie as a sweatband is so unique, next to be seen on Project Runway. Jeffrey and his sister...a breath of fresh air, says chain smoker Simon. And we have the Chubs onto Hollywood. They have 3 months between this audition and Hollywood week to get the sister into shape. I wonder if Simon meant "lose some lbs, or learn to sing". Another dumb person that almost drops a kid at American Idol. And the Dad has a mapquest to the hospital.

Holyshit, they are mangling Carrie's song. Let me look one more time at that tv, but I believe I see a new Bozo the Clown. What are these people thinking...if I just keep singing it will make them pick her.

Amy Catherine, Amy, AC whatevs...yes, she said whatevs. She is preaching abstinence. She sort of looks like Eva Longoria. Amy Flynn is the Queenest of Goody 2 Shoes, with a chastity belt. She is absolutely an angel sent from heaven. I think I need an insulin shot. OMG Simon got all pissy with her. He doesn't like her confidence and then he gives her a pass. That girl is so adorable. Hey, Paula said the same thing.
London Whiteburg...Charleston SC. Grew up on the beach. She's good. But nothing to unique. Yes, based on vocals. BS, based on your blond hair, blue eyes and killer body. Give me a break.
OH man, now we have to have our military person. Meet our troop booster of the 2007 season. Our Phil Stacey or Josh Gracin of this season. Meet Air Force pilot Lindsay. That's cool. And the girl can sing. Ok, I think she is good. Not a blow away. The nerves and quivers kind of bugged me. And Pauler brought it up. NO WAY, they blew me away on that one.
Next up, Basketball Boobs. What the fuck is she thinking putting a belt as wide as the freeway under those boobs. Pauler even lost her composure...hilarious. She is going to sing Whitney. DON'T THESE PEOPLE WATCH AMERICAN IDOL? Never sing the following:
- Whitney Houston
- Celine Dion
- Aretha Franklin
- Maria Carey

Those are the death squad singers, if you hope to have a chance at Hollywood. Don't sing them, unless you expect to be compared to them. And for God's sake don't pick Jennifer Hudson/Jennifer Holiday "I'm Not Going" from Dreamgirls either.
This guy says this show is fake and rigged. Simon says he is rude and deluded. I love the lip factor in Charleston. Nice red pants buddy...take that to your World Idol competition. ..you and the other artistsssses.
I knew that squirmy baby was going to make an appearance. Emma Grace...Oliver is going to sing now. Hey, he has a voice but he is warbling weird and I think he's channeling Christina Aquilera. Nope, go home and take care of your baby. That baby is 36 hours old and they are dragging her into this crazy germ infested place.

Next up...Project Runway. You know when Heidi Klum says "You will be designing an avant garde look", it sounds like she says "oven garden" look. She cracks me up, that crazy bitch. I love Heidi Klum. She rocks Seals world, and loves to talk about it. And she has such a great sense of humor.
Go Christian...go. You're FIERCE. Tonite, that whimpy Sweet P better go. I'm tired of her.

5 comments:

Lu said...

OMG I love Christian on Project Runway too!!! He slays me. I would so hang out and be in his entourage.

He'd say "come on bitch, come with me to Britex and hold my organza" and I would follow him to the ends of the earth holding bolts of sequins and grosgrain ribbon.

BTW what were your thoughts on the San Diego Idol guy who had the 5 year old kid? No offense but I just cant handle it when people don't cut their little boy's hair. case in point, Kate Hudson...does she have to make her kid look as scraggly as the dad does? I'll never understand hollywood.

Anonymous said...

Don't sing Alicia Keys or Aguilera songs either unless you have god given talent.

Anonymous said...

The new Project Runway drinking game . . . how many minutes into the show before Ricky cries?

First 15 minutes, drink once
Second 15 minutes, drink twice
Last half of the show ... guzzle it!

Seester*
*A fan of Rachael Maddow's Political Drinking Games (TM)

Anonymous said...

I thought that boy was a girl until now. I feel like the hour goes so fast.

Anonymous said...

You should be able to sing any song. It's American Idol, if you can't sing Whitney, Celine, Mariah, then you shouldn't even be auditioning. The chick with the 88 DDD's cracked me up. She stops crowds with her singing. That or maybe it's the fact she's, never mind. I might get banned from blogging if I finish that thought. Let's get to Hollywood already.