My Day in Napa...saw a tiny celebrity...

Ok, so I just had the most awesome-tastic day with my girl Mae Mae. She's the bride-to-be...rookie fiancee' chick...and since I am a Napa Bride Veteran, who better to take along site shopping than me? I know the tough hardball questions to ask these bitches, like what the fuck happens to that shit when it rains? LOL. That potty mouth stayed home and I was Napa Chic today.

Weather was stellar...traffic cooperated...and we only got lost once. **** star experience. Well, we were being toured through one of the last wineries, by the wedding hostess...and all I could think the entire time was "Hot Tranny Mess, Hot Tranny Mess". She was like 7 ft 2 and she had on Beetlejuice pants. Seriously. Anyway, was on my way to the loo, and I passed through a crowd that was being poured a tasting, and some man shoves a glass in my hand and pours me some wine. [insert record needle screeeeech sound here] People....ColeyB is not allowed alcohol. It's like teasing the tigers at the zoo. Do not wake the sleeping alcoholic....except I never drank. I just can't. It's isn't a pretty thing. So, I drank it of course, I mean why not, what's one little sip? Well, I LOVED it, so I fetch Mae Mae and she says, oh, let's go taste some more [more screech sounds please] So we belly up to the bar and get a couple poured. And we drink more. Ok, time to buy. Paid and split. It's like 2:00 and we
haven't eaten all day except one cheese stick. I announce to MM...I'm so drunk...just as some dude passes me and busts out laughing. Then MM starts hitting me on the arm, and pointing "look look, cameras...shooting...it's its its...and she can't spit it out. And I finally focus and I see them and I shout, "Oh my God, It's Big People, Little World...I mean Little World, Big People, I mean LIttle People BIg World...oh what the fuck, just let's go follow them.

So, we stalked the Little People. I'm just glad I didn't run up to them. I've watched the show alot, and I wouldn't know what to say. Cool show. Check it out if you haven't already. First pick is me, snapping a pic, of Mae Mae stalking the poor lady. Then the second pic is the mom and her friend, and the camera crew.

Here's Mae Mae (not her real name, just a nick alias because I don't have publishing rights for her face, at this time ... LOL) as she gets too close to her prey and backs off in embarrassment. She sort of rear-ended her victim, a rookie mistake often made by celebrity stalkers...note I hid in the foilage and used the zoom lens. I'm stealth that way...and I was too drunk to run to catch them. I guess we know who isn't going to work for TMZ any time soon, Mae Mae. Don't quit your day job!