Project Runway - Night #3

Who's ready for some fashion fabulosity or runway roadkill? I am...I am. Now people, I have yet to find a favorite this season. Personality wise...it's a season of meh... I think that tanorexic freak is weird for the sake of being weird...to gain attention. He keeps coming up with "hi Tim-alicious" and everything is 'alicious'...and he's trying to coin his own phrase, ala Christian and "it's fierce". Or my personal favorite, "hot tranny mess"...which ironically, I would call Blaine a tanny tranny mess. I bet he smells like burnt skin. Ewww....

Stella is entertaining. I would love to go to lunch with her, because you could laugh at her in the face and she would SO not care.

Now these African American women...the two of them are like battling for who has the biggest, baddest wig. They are just a couple of hair bags.

On to the clothes. Overall, there was a great divide for me...either you made the shiteous thing I've seen hang on a human form, or something so SPECTACULAR. Start watching the show and pay attention that they never show all the outfits...usually the best and the worst don't get shown in the Tim Review.

Sandra Bernhardt...I'm sorry, but time has not been kind to that tranny. Madonna did not share girlfriend secrets with her former lesbo galpal. Her hair looks like she was going for dredlocks, and lost patience and switched to a fat curling iron. A big fat doodoo roll mess of snakes coming from her skull.

Another thing about this cast of contestants. Most of these women (atleast 4 of them) are the homeliest, plainest, freakishly plain Jane-ish girls I've ever seen in my life. Bad haircuts, greasy skin, bland voices...so uninspirational...the only thing they inspire me to do is double down on anti depressants.

For me, there is just not enough Michael Kors in this show. I loves me some Heidi, but I love that comment he made tonite...the placement of those ruffles was just INSANE...he is the best drama diva dude ever.

So, in the end, it comes down to 2 of the plain janes, two girls who never met a mascara wand in their lives. They need to pay a little more attention in the Tresemme hair salon and Loreal Paris Makeup center.

So, I'm glad that she's outta here. And these people need to step it up. Stop putting crap on the runway. Come ON.

By the way, the next show...Shear Genius, is becoming one of my favorites. It's on next. THere is a gay dude from Dallas named Daniel, and when I am in Texas next week, before I melt, I plan to find him in a salon somewhere. There is a straight girl and there is a lesbo on there that has a crush on her. It's so freaking funny. One of the judges is Kim Vo, who did Britney's hair...and even Perez Hilton. ha.

So, that's it for tonite peeps. No big good drama tonite.

xoxox

What'd You Do This Weekend?

As best I can tell, this weekend sort of marked the official middle of Summer. Of course, in Northern California, we have Indian Summer to look forward to, with Sept and October being the best weather ever. I was married in Napa on Oct. 14 and it was 85 degrees that day.

So, what did this weekend bring to you?

Here's what I did.

WENT TO SEE STEPBROTHERS. OMG, that was the funniest shit ever. If you love Will Ferrell or John C. Reilly, you will LOVE LOVE LOVE this hilarious movie. Ok, so I expected it to be like fart humor and stupid stuff, and that's there, but the plot and some of the scenes are more than you can imagine. All I can say is "Bros and Hoes". Go see it, and you won't be sorry. FYI it's rated R so some of the shenanigans are way better than a PG 13 movie. Plus the use of the word FUCK out of sweet little Mary Steenburgen's mouth made it worth the price of admission alone.

Of course I did laundry. I even tested out the "SteamFresh" cycle, which is supposed to refresh clothes that aren't dirty, just wrinkled and need...well...refreshing. So, I throw 5 tshirts in, not wanting to iron them, and turn the bad boy on...then I read the instructions...and find that 100% cotton is not recommended. ha ha. Too late. Turned out ok though.

Bought $150.00 worth of lingerie on closeout at some wacko website with all this stuff 50% off. That was fun.

Must go now, so that to top off my weekend, I am watching MAD MEN. Oooh...can't wait.

xoxo

Kiss Kiss ...Project Runway Contestants, Daniel and Wesley, Are Dating

Wesley Nault may have been ousted from Project Runway on Wednesday night, but there’s a silver lining for the designer — he’s happily dating a fellow Runway contestant.
Nault (far left), 23, confirmed to PEOPLE that he’s in a relationship with fellow season 5 contestant, Daniel Feld (near left), 25.
“We met on the show,” Nault told PEOPLE. “And we tried to keep it very professional on the show because we were both there for our careers, and we didn’t expect this to come out of it. But I’m really happy.”
Speculation about a relationship between Project Runway contestants – a first for the Bravo show – began online after fashion bloggers noted that both designers listed that they were “in a relationship” on their MySpace pages. And both listed each other as a “top friend.”

Runway’s executive producer Jane Lipsitz also confirmed to PEOPLE that two of this season’s contestants were dating each other, but never specifically named them.
“I am shocked that they’re talking about this, I really am,” Nault says about the buzz surrounding his relationship. “I’m shocked it’s such a big deal.”
And rest assured, Runway fans, the designing duo are going strong. “We’re still together – and it’s going really well,” says Nault.
So well, in fact, that the two designers may have a professional collaboration to look forward to.
“Daniel and I are talking about possibly working on something together,” Nault says. “Everything’s in the works right now.” –Brian Orloff

Project Runway- Night #2

Well, right off the bat they shake it up.  Hurray, because if you have been watching all 4 seasons up to now, it can be a little cookie cutter.  

Models go shopping...for Earth friendly.  Oooh this is going to be a fashion frenzy flop.

OK, whiner Stella obviously did not get an attitude check from last week, and is slipping further into a catatonic tone of voice.  She should be robotic by next week.  She's gross. I hope she cuts off a finger.  And she is not listening to her model.  ha ha.  She's out.  I guarantee it.  And Suede, talks about himself in the third person.  He's a bisexual Sagitarius....omg, they called him out on 3rd person shit.  ha ha.    

Freaky flower girl is worried about Leann's circles.  Listen, you don't worry about other people's shit.  Keep your eyes on your own disaster and don't worry about the others.  You're all paranoid.  OK, Stella confirms what I just said.  I hate when I type and then they say it.  It makes me look like I'm copying them...or I am a genius.  Ok, let's go with that.

Tim is in to hawk eye.  This is one of my favorite parts of the show.

Ok, Suede's slasher dress is HEINOUS.  OMG, Tim says he is excited?  

Super cool...young Hollywood star is a guest judge.  OMG, who is it.  Heidi Montag?  Please don't let it be lameass Hillary Duff.  Make it a glamour puss.  Maybe Natalie Portman.  Or one of the Gossip Girls.  Or Whitney from The Hills.  THAT would be SO COOOL.  

Everyone is making fun of leather Stella.  Lethuh.  I love your lethuh face. 

Bisexual suede is making a move on Daniel by making his bed for him.  So sweet.  hee hee.  Now back in the sewing room Daniel is about to pee pee his britches.  Now this is also another favorite part of the show.  Everything looks shitty...and then on the runway it turns out couture.  Lethuh burns her model bitch.  OMG.  dumbass.  

Ok, let's get to the young Hollywood starlet.  Can't wait.  Don't disappoint me dammit.  Dang, I called that shit didn't I?  I know she lives in NYC and I almost picked Anne Hathaway but she was busy with Get Smart.  Lord I know too much about these celebs.

Ok, runway show is over, and you know, that shit was pretty cool.  Most shocking was the freaking peacock feather dress to me.  that was pretty innovative how he used those feathers at the bottom for fringe.  

High collar dress is first...I loved this...and so did the judges.

Brown dress #1 is a wrinkled wreck.  20 sets of human hands mauled that dress according to MK.  Stella and her lethuh ass may actually live another week.  The wing dress in gold is described as having fins off her dress.  MK is in fine form this season.  Mauler Suede is going to win this shit tonite.  I guarantee. Uh Oh, Leanne's model throws her under the bus.  I believe in the bottom 2 we might have a brown dress battle for the bottom.

Oh the tears being shed behind the black curtain, already.  Now our results...Suede will win.  I guarantee.  YES>...I am 2 for 2.  OMG.  And I called it.  It's the battle of the brown shit at the bottom.  Wesley, you are out, just for wearing those red shoes, and shorts on the runway with your chicken bone legs.  FREAK.  You're out.  Whoo Hoo....3 for 3.  I have been watching this shit too long and I get the hints in the critiques.  I should have started an office pool on this show, I'd be winning some bank!

Hope you enjoyed fashionistas...another week of the House of Heidi has come to a close.  

Next up, I watch Shear Genius.  I love Charlie.  And the lesbo hitting on the hot Latin straight married chick.  It's a hoot.   

xoxo

The HILLS trailer for Season 4 is up for viewing!!!

Click here  ok,...umm cut and paste the scribble below into your browser, because I am so lame I can't figure out how to make a hyperlink on this butthole MAC.  BLOGGER thinks everyone uses Windows in their HELP docs.

Anyway, this the Season 4 trailer for THE HILLS.  

http://www.mtv.com/overdrive/?id=1591256&vid=259814

Here's my thoughts on this trailer.

1. I don't give a shit if it is scripted.  I love scripted tv as much as reality.  Bitches fighting over hot guys and back stabbing is great.  Atleast scripted they get it RIGHT, the cameras are in the right place and the lighting is dramatic.  Bring on the scripts.
2. Brody Jenner.  OMG I think he is MY Dreamboat.  Sorry but I love everything about him and when his show "Bromance" on MTV comes out, I will be a faithful viewer.  Produced by Ryan Seacrest.  Sounds fun.  Brody is a momma's boy...and a womanizer...all wrapped up in a dark and steamy body that rocks the house people.  Uh Uh, finger linking good.
3. Audrina.  If I was a lesbot, she'd be my dreamgirl.  She is exotic and I am fascinated by her apparent stupidity.  I can't believe she can get dressed in the morning.  Albeit she barely wears clothes but she doles out words as if she will be charged $1,000 per syllable.  She just stares at people.  I wish I could be like her.  A calm stare...and silence.  I never do that.  I think I will start.  
4. Whitney.  Whitney gets a boy.  Whitney gets a boy.  I love Whitney.
5. Lauren.  Lots of tears and mascara.  And drama with
6. Stephanie.  ShePratt is wearing the Devil juice as perfume and spreading her stink all around.  She is way more evil, as it is edited, than Spencer ever thought of being.  Seems she is cheating with Doug, who is 
7. Lauren's new boyfriend it appears is Doug.  Who is rich, it appears, since they are climbing aboard his private jet (pj for short)  Anyone with a pj should not be trusted not to cheat outside your time zone.  That's all I'm saying.  They can take their bad selfs far away to do their nasty deeds undetected.  
8. Lo.  Nice catfights with Lo and Audrina.  Lo is a wannabe.  She's smart, but isn't star quality.  She a hanger-on, just because she and Lauren used to share magic markers and juice boxes in 3rd grade.  Puh-leaze.  Leave your coloring book buddies where they belong...in the past.
9. Spencer and Heidi...they may not make many appearances in this season, since I just read on online that they plan a trip to Iraq.  My money is on them dieing in a sand storm before a bullet gets anywhere near them.
10. Heidi's sister.  Ok, so first it's Spencer's sister, Stephanie, and now it's Heidi's sister has come to town?  Hmmm.  Let's hope she stirs the shit up just like the other one.  

So, that's it people.  New season starts August 18?? or something around then.  I'll get it to you when the time is closer.  

xoxo

PS Jeffro, don't even bother.

Season Premiere Alert: Mad Men

As promised in previous post, and in effort to provide more manly tv programming for Jeffro, I have selected some show with "MEN" in the title, or atleast traits often used in describing men.

First let's talk about MAD MEN...little bit of bad news here Jeffro...this is on AMC...your lame-ass cable may not carry this. I suggest you look into what is called Satellite tv...there are these UFO's that beam programming right onto a dish you place on your roof. No need to worry about a little cable, when you have a DISH. but not Dish Network, I prefer DirectTV. So, if you have AMC people, set your TIVOS for next Sunday night...July 27...premiere of Season 2.

What's that I hear? A loud groan from the masses because you didn't watch Season 1? Not to worry, they have lots of episodes for viewing on http://www.amctv.com/originals/madmen/

So, what's this all about...well, it's not you usual show...in fact, that's what makes it so refreshing. It's set in the 60's, so think about all the stereotypes and racism that we have overcome...and you'll get to see it in real life on this show, which takes place in an Ad Agency. Think 'the office' but it's a drama, and the boss is not bumbling Michael Scott but a freaking hot ass Adonis, played by Jon Hamm. Mmm Hmm...finger licking good looking. I digress.

The women are very very strong characters despite the fact they are relegated to the typing pool, assuming they are not staying home birthin' the babies and smoking and drinking highballs, while changing diapers. Think June Cleaver on the way to rehab. But June Cleaver looks like Cousin Marilyn on the Munsters. The whacko wife, played by January Jones, is plagued by depression, before it was known about, and goes to a Psychiatrist, which is, of course, hush hush because only crazy people go to shrinks. Lots of husbands cheating with the secretaries, and it's just so beautifully scripted and filmed...the characters are so well developed, along with the costumes and sets...extremely well done show. As a matter of fact they won the Golden Globe for best drama last year, and are nominated for like 15 Emmys this year.

Another show, set to come back, in keeping with our men theme, is of course...Two and a Half Men. Now people, if you haven't jumped on the band wagon of this show yet, you're missing 30 minutes of the funniest tv on Monday night. Hilarious. Charlie Sheen is a womanizing bachelor who makes his living as a jingle writer. Brother, Jon Cryer, is a divorced father who can't afford to live on his own, due to alimony, etc. So Charlie let's him live in his Malibu beach front home. As always, the supporting characters make the show..the smartass housekeeper, the drunk gold digger mother, and the wacko girlfriends that sleep with Charlie each week, are what really round out a terrific show.
More men tv? Rescue Me. Firemen fighting fires and relationship issues, and all that crap. It's a good one. Rent the first 4 seasons to catch up before the new one comes along.

Ok, that's your viewing guide for today.

xoxo,

ColeyTV(tm) signing out

(c) 2008 ColeyB Blog Productions. ColeyTV is a sub-sidiary of ColeyB Blog Productions. ColeyTv and ColeyB are trademarks of ColeyB Blog Productions are not approved for usage without express written consent from her highness, ColeyB.

Viewer Reviews of Project Runway V5.0 Premiere

As you know, I asked the Blog faithful to watch the new season of Project Runway. It still surprises me that people at work think I am on blog-sabbatical just because Idol is OffTAir. People, there is still so much to make fun of in the world. I mean REALLY, how could I stop, when I have so much to say? So, here's a few comments from the group...
From Jeffro:
So, I turned on Bravo and just get a bunch of snow. Turns out, my TV comes with some kind of gaydar transmitter that scrambles all things fruity. We call it the Midwest glitch. Once removed I now enter the tornado that is Project Runway. I am a little overwhelmed. So much going on that I now discover note taking will be key. My wife walks into the room takes a look at the tv and then at me then back to the tv then back to me and says, is your "friend" RAUL joining you for this. I just look at her and say "Cole". She just walks away shaking her head. I don't know all the names yet but what is up with that dude with the blue hair, Squeak? Suede, that's it. Did he just say wack -a -doodle? Am I the only one that finds it funny he left the cock out?? He looks confused. Like he thought this was supposed to be at the Real World 45 set. Wondering when they were going to do body shots and start putting things in places we don't talk about. Hey look, it's Tracey Chapman!!! I always wanted know what happened to her. I'm glad that Cole mentioned Heidi"s dress length. That must be a normal thing. I was starting to think that was going to be the first challenge, coming up with the lower half of her outfit. Are all designers this arrogant?? Everyone thinks their outfit is the shiat. Also, it looks like everyone is trying to coin their own catchphrase. What was it that Blaine said?/ Grill licious? Girl licious? I do know one thing, they need more of that Tim dude. He looks like a college prof then he talks and it's Fabulous 101. I think I am going to have fun with this one.
Jeffro-licious

From Tink...
OK so I didn't have a good night...accidently deleted Days of Our Lives so decided to watch Big Brother and wait til like 9:30 to start watching this show. Well I look at my little red dvr light at 9:15 and IT IS NOT ON!!!! OMG So I went and immediately started it and missed the first 15 mins. They were leaving the store and starting on the "dresses". OK some really were interesting like the cup dress, the dyed vacuum bags but MY GOD the thing Jerry did was just down right awful!!! What was he thinking? And why the dishwashing gloves? Right up there was the trash bags...what a complete moron. They both should have left.This does remind me of Top Chef which I love. It goes by so quick.Thanks, I think, Cole!
Amy B responds to Jeffro's struggle with his masculinity...
Jeffro, Thanks for jumping on the dinged-up-from-Cole-driving-in-to-a-wall Lexus Bangwagon that is chauffeuring all of us on the Project Runway super highway. $15/month...hmmm so you can buy one less 1/4 tank of gas per week. One tank a month. It's all good because you just added 4 hours a month of TV watching that will keep you from driving. That investment of $15 is probably SAVING you money.Cole do we have any straight TV programs up for discussion?
In response to AmyB's desire for less homo tv, more manly men...I can surely direct you to the upcoming premiere to one of the hottest television shows out there...Mad Men.
See next POST on the blog...Season 2 Premiere, Sunday, July 27 on AMC. Now fear not people, if you didn't see Season 1, there are free episodes for viewing on AMC. http://www.amctv.com/originals/madmen/

HERE we go Runway Rats...

Welcome to the House of Heidi...enjoy the show!

Before we begin, I'd like to take this opportunity to crown Jeffro the "Blog Fan of the Month" as he has reached into his own pocket and spent $15.00 more a month to upgrade to Comcast "Project Runway" level, in order to receive Bravo TV. Sorry you had to do that Jeffro, but that's what you get for living in the mid-West where they don't appreciate edgy tv...and surely it has been labeled "gay tv" which is why you had to pay more for it. But I digress. No one has ever spent money to show me the love more than you Jeffro...which sort of makes me feel like a hooker, since I put it that way. Anyway...on to the show...

So, here's our goofy ass cast. Much like Idol...we will quickly see the contestants start to break apart into the 4 common food groups of a reality show contestant:

Front Runners: Actually show talent right off the bat...let's hope they don't peak too quickly or suffer the cocky syndrome burnout and self-implode.
Radar Dodgers: This is where I put someone like David Cook...didn't peak too early, had red bangs at the beginning, and kept his hotness under wraps until the end, quiet demeanor
Weirdos: Usually lots of Piercings and Tattoos, talk alot of personal hygiene issues or obsessive compulsive habits. Never really see them shower much, or eat solid food..lots of alcohol consumption in the evenings
Assholes: Immediately start tearing down the competitors and bragging about themselves. Lots of trash talking followed by lots of trash walking...by the models forced to wear their clothing that should be in the dumpster. Sneer and Jeer

Ok, so here's the lineup of the people.  Jerrell is from Los Angeles and therefore he absolutely is no longer my favorite.  He's a liar.  He was listed as Houston TX and now has disowned the great state to claim to be from LA.  He's dead to me.  The usual everyone comes in and meets their new roommates.  There appears to be a nice mix of people.  It looks like we have plenty of people to divide into the 4 food groups.  I already see weirdos and radar dodgers.  Those are easy picks.  One guy admits he has a crazy obsession with tanning. Mr. Sup Holla... You know who he immediately reminds me of?  Kato Kaelin.  OJ Simpson's backyard stoner renter.   Ok, so that guy will be a great story line I can already guess.  He will skip out of something to find a tanning bed, or burn the loft down with a blunt.   The a-holes are hard to identify right off the bat, usually they start off as big ol' ass kissers before they sharpen the knife and stab you in the back.  And the front runners are just hanging back...could be confused as radar dodgers as well. 

Back to the Runway...so this show is going to fold out as follows...

1.  The challenge.  This is where they get their instruction on what they have to make and what are the rules.  This is the high speed scramble gathering the supplies for their creations.

2.  The work and critique.  They start sketching, cutting, cursing, bitching, yawning and it looks like a bunch of shit on a dress form...and then...

3. The runway.  That shit on a form gets fitted on a stick thin model, a girl that is one Altoid mint shy of an anorexic coma...and then

4.  The little chat.  Heidi kicks the contestants off the runway and sequesters the four judges for their bitch session about the crapfest they just saw, and then, they cheer up and talk about all the fabulosity they saw and pick a winner from the pile.  

5.  The results.  You're in or your out.  Loser gets to kiss Heidi twice...but no touching or tucking $1.00 bills in her top.

And that's how this show rolls.   

My thoughts on some of the contestants so far....Morticia is whining about black plastic garbage bags.  Please vote her out...please, put us out of our misery because that 'dead behind the eyes' woman is absolutely already grating on my nerves.  My second least favorite is the Asian guy.  Right now, Asian men are on my hit list.  I don't like them.  And I don't care if that is racist.  The guy at Amazing Wok yesterday was supposed to make me Szechuan Chicken NO SPICE...and I could barely swallow it, it was swimming in those red peppers.  Unfortunately it was take out and I wasn't wasting $72.00 in gas to return that shit.  The other Asian man on my hit list shall remain nameless.  He knows who he is.  I digress.  Suffice to say, I don't like this cocky bastard "on the forefront of fashion industry, own my own business "Form" and blah blah blah... he already makes me want to strike his shins with a tire iron.  He MUST go.  Fingers crossed.  Next guy is Suede.  Do you think his mommy named him that?  Suede has a marijuana patch on his jacket.  He and Kato will get along.  Ok, there are two African American woman that look just like the drummer for Lennie Kravitz...maybe they thought they were auditioning for LK and accidentally ended up at Bravo?  Next chick, coming from left field, Portland Oregon...do you know her AmyB? reminds me of Penelope on Saturday Night Live.  She's talking through her nose and has no inflection in her voice. OMG.  Awesome clothes Calls herself the Silent Fashion Assasin.  Love that.  The Silent Assasin...that's what my husband calls his friend that farts quietly.  Another Nerd alert girl.  Wesley has divine clothes.  Normal Dad Joe.  Joe Daddy is his name.  May be one of the few straight guys on the show.

Here's the challenge:  Go to a grocery store and buy some shit to make clothing...be creative.

Alright, let's start looking at the work.  Look at this designer that appears to be a chemist.  Dye and bleach...that's displaying some mad skills.  Joe Daddy's pasta dress seems pretty groovy as well.   And what the hell is KatoKaelin doing...did he grab a bag of Depends and some car floor mats?  Hey, that chick with the mops is whipping and weaving.  That looks pretty cool.  

Awesome, all the tablecloth people, as I CALLED IT, are getting busted for being slackers.  I told you so.  They said innovative...dumbasses.  Anything that isn't weird or unexpected is not innovative.  And Asian dude is so creepy with the shower curtain.  Me thinks he saw Psycho shower scene one too many times.  Enough of the freaking trashbag whiner.  We get it, you cheaped out and bought the 2 for $1.00 box and it ain't gonna look like patent leather.  

 

Ok, this is my favorite part of the show...seeing what Heidi wears on the runway.  I always wonder if they can see her cooch.  You have nice legs Heidi, we get it.  

Ok, people pulled forward ...those are the losers. I know it.  Yep I was right.

Oh, I was surprised mop top didn't get a top score.  Ok, out of the six remaining I am going to say it's between Solo Cup dress and Vacuum Bag dress.   OMG, THEY ARE ripping Asian dude's dress.  Bye Bye Asian dude, you are going down.  Unless trash bag lady goes.  It's a yawn.  The 7 foot model is staring straight ahead just focused on getting back to that tin of Altoids, thinking she is going to treat herself to 3 for dinner tonite.

Kelly, that is my fierce pick of the night.  You know why...because that crazy bitch used office supplies...the wire-o from a spiral notebook to hold the back together.  And she even took the time to burn the freaking coffee filters.  What?  

The Solo Cup dress is pretty good too, but it's not very pretty.  It's not something you'd choose to wear just because it happens to cover your privates and hangs from your shoulders.  

Heidi called one dress butt ugly.  Kato got a 'hideous' from the guest judge.  They are not pulling punches this season, for sure.  

Alright, it's time for the winner.  I'm going with Kelly and her vacuum cleaner dress.  It was so cute.  and Innovative.  She nailed it.  And I'm just going to say...she falls in the radar dodger food group.  Watch out for her.  Solo Cup boy is a weirdo, perhaps.  Ok...here we go.  

WHOO HOO!  I'M 1 FOR 1 THIS SEASON!!!  Let me remind you, I identified David Cook early, so let's see how I do this season.  You have to give me four more weeks atleast though.  

Jerry must go.  Jerry must go.  Jerry must go.  Puh-leeeeezzzzzeeee.  WHOO HOO... I'm 2 for 2 tonite.  OMG, I couldn't be more thrilled.  Take that faux hawk greasy mess head of hair out of here you dope.  Bye now.  Don't let the dressing room door hit you in the ass on your way out.  I'm sure you are a nice guy, but I cursed you 3 paragraphs ago, and I'm sorry, you didn't stand a chance.  

Next week: Tim is seen telling Kato Kaelin that his dress looks like a dinosaur in a gay Jurassic Park.  If anyone has been to Gay Jurassic Park, it's Tim and he knows.  Stay tuned bitches.  It's going to be good.

xoxo...thanks for watching.  

Can't wait for your first review experience Jeffro.  Make it good.  

Shouting out to the Project Runway Posse

Thanks to those that are getting behind me in support of blogging on the new season, WHICH STARTS TONITE PEOPLE!!!

Some recent comments between frequent comments AmyB and Jeffro are below. If you are behind, my pal Jeffro was reluctant to watch the show because he is afraid of turning Gay. I told him, in a round about way, that one cannot turn back the process, once already started. His response is:
Jeffro writes:

Okay Cole, you called me out. You're right, I should just embrace my homo traits and run with it. Excuse me now as I go watch Birdcage and cry myself to sleep. That Nathan Lane is a fierce hot tranny mess!?! I'll get there with the lingo.Jeffro aka Buttercup


AmyB supports my views on all things blogworthy and further forces Jeffro's hand, she writes:

Jeffro,I don't know you but here is why we will all watch Project Runway. Because Cole is our leader. She's like our Jim Jones. I will drink the Kool Aid. We will all follow her in to a burning building. We all just bought jawbones and new washing machines. (Admit it.) I resist American Idol every year yet am drawn in my Cole's web spinning abilities. We're all in it, and like the Haunted House at Disneyland, this chamber has no windows and no doors which offers you this chilling challenge...TO FIND A WAY OUT!!! Muawahahahahahahahahah:)

Ok, so that's the way the blog bubbles today. More later. I think I will be bold and pick my winner from the beginning, based on picture and hometown alone. Jerrell. He looks designer to me. I know it is judging a book by it's cover, but he's from Houston, Texas and me loves a Texan.

Project Runway

Ok, so a few comments to make...

First I forgot to mention my compadre Chris. I went up to him at work today, and he was under the impression that Project Runway was like that Shiteous trainwreck show...America's Top Tyra...I mean model. Stupid show that promotes anorexia and bitchiness all in one episode each week.

Project Runway is like Top Chef. Quick Fire Challenges...Quick Design challenges.

Jeffro wrote and said he is not gay, not a woman, and will only watch if there is something to make fun of.

I checked my Gay dictionary (issued to all SF citizens when you apply for a parking permit)...and under "Gay Traits" it lists "making fun of people" as a favorite past time. I also looked up 'Gay Favorite Pastimes" and it listed "Making fun of people, especially those on American Idol and other reality tv shows."

Sorry Jeffro, whether you acknowledge it or not, you have homo traits. Just embrace them, oh sensitive manly man, and move on...and watch Project Runway with US!!!!! My husband loves this show, and he's as hetero as they come. He has been know to shout at the TV..."Heidi, that dress made her ass look like she was smuggling a whale". Or another favorite "Oh my God Michael, could you be more GAY?" And finally, "Here comes Tim Gunn, swishing onto the runway...careful buddy, we wouldn't want you to slip and break a hip...(Greg is convinced he's 90 yrs old but had a ton of plastic surgery)

Anyway, the show usually a mix of straight, gay, woman and men...and it's really good at the end when they start getting on each other's nerves and fighting over scissors and thread and 'who broke the sewing machine'. Sort of a mix of Real World and Survivor, with a mix in of Top Chef and Shear Genius.

Some of my favorite comments from last year's contestants include "OMG, he calls that couture...I call that Mother of the Bride". "He better hope his model is a 6 foot tranny, because that dress is dreadful" or the best of all "You look like a Hot Tranny Mess".

So, Jeffro, if you miss this, you are a loser. You will miss all the fun. And fun it will be.

xoxo

It's FIERCE: Project Runway Starts Wednesday Bitches

Alright dammit. We are going to do this RIGHT this season people. I DEMAND that the faithful of the blog watch this show this season and comment on it and join the fun with me, just like on AI. I simply cannot get motivated, if you peeps don't care. I need to feel the love.

So AmyB, Lu, Mae Mae, DNat, AC, Suki, NJ Fan, Tink, Office Worker friends of Dee Dee's (can we get y'all a shorter nickname?...please suggest), Jeffro, Malooooo...who else? Well you know who you are...I need you to watch Project Runway. I know 1/2 of you do it already anyway.

Heidi "I swallowed Minnie Mouse and now talk like her" Klum and her posse lead by Michael Kors are back for another season on Weds 7/16...that's in 2 days people. The fierceness begins. Tim Gunn...bless his decripid heart, is the most hilarious 50 yr old, trapped in a 90 year old body, gay man on TV since "Just Jack" from Will and Grace. Ooohhh, wouldn't Sean Hayes be a great guest judge...me likey that idea. He would heighten the hilariosity to uber heights.

I love when the gay and straight men start their behaviors. They either like or dislike each other greatly...but mostly the woman end up hating the gay men...usually jealous...the girls don't like the competition as the most feminine human in the room. Ha.

Anyway, all kidding aside, I will be blogging on this, and I can't wait. Hope you'll join me. Or else.

How Do You Have Time to Read my Blog?

I mean, really, why aren't you reading every squeamish detail of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's new addition to Earth. I mean there are like 12 stories on my iGoggle home page about this. Lord. I even read some of the comments where they were debating how she could be await through a c-section or a epidural and Brad cut the cords. Whatevs.

Well, I am on load number 17. I have washed everything that fits in that new washer. I washed the mattress pads up to the comforter and everything in between. I almost look forward to spilling something on my shirt to see if the new washer will get it out. It's insane.

Well, I had to venture out today...go to Wal-Mart and return the small tent, since I have now decided to keep the Hilton tent.

Gotta cut this one short...the hubby is in pain over a back injury. I am not cut out to be an ER nurse, that's for sure.

Oh, and I lost my Jawbone today...I panicked, and had to take a Xanax I was so upset. And so, I put my phone up to my ear to call my husband to see if he could find it on the charger. And guess what. A COP ROLLED RIGHT UP IN FRONT OF ME...and he shook his finger at me. OMG, I threw my phone in the back seat and raised my hands up...mouthed "Sorry" and he laughed. OMG, I shit my pants. Then I found out the fine is like only $20.00. Good Lord.

xoxo

Out with the Old...and In with the New

Ok, it's Saturday am and I've already completed 2 loads...and the only thing I forgot is...when you wash them, it's all fun and everything, but you have to DRY them and FOLD them and PUT THEM AWAY. OMG, this is ridiculous. I have caused myself a world of pain because with these new 8 towels, I have to do something with the old ones. We have plenty of car wash towels. I think I might donate them to our veterinary hospital. I hear they always need them. I wish there was a place to leave stuff for poor people that can't afford Goodwill. I think I saw a clothing recycler bin the other day...maybe I'll check that out.

So, me loves me new washer. In the next load, it will be put to the test. My friends spilled red wine on my tablecloth while camping, and I treated it with Gonzo Pet Stain remover, so we shall see!!! It's my camping cloth, so who cares about the war wounds...it builds character. But I'm just curious. It's like I want to put the new washer to the test, go eat a big bowl of spaghetti and let it drip on my tshirt, just to see if it will come out! ha. I know, I need to get a life don't I?

I can't wait to wash the comforter either. Or my quilt, or the dreaded bathmats. I'm scared though. I still may shuffle those over to the neighbors house. I know, I have to bite the bullet at some point, but not yet. They are still dripping and stinking in the bathtub. Jeez, my laundry drama is such a soap opera...no pun intended.

Happy Saturday. Have some Froot Loops and start your day on a multi-colored sugar high extravaganza!!!

xoxo

PS, Since everyone seems to like my product endorsements, because I rarely, if ever, steer you wrong...let me give you a ColeyConsumer Reports tip...that Gonzo Pet Stain Remover I mentioned above is 'miracle juice'. It will take stains out of anything and it doesn't matter what. I have yet to find anything it won't remove. I used to keep a bottle at my desk and everyone with pen stains came to my cube. And food stains after lunch too. It was hilarious. You can buy it at Linens N Things or Bed Bath and Beyond (why don't those stores merge and call it a day? They are identical) Anyhoo, try it, you'll like it. Ironically, it did not remove the cat pee stain from my wool berber carpet. My cat pees electric yellow...the smell is gone, but the yellow spot is still there. Go figure. But it does say something about wool on the bottle. Even the professional cleaner told me that wool carpet sucks and stains won't come out. Good lord...carpet salesmen are shamsters, almost as bad as the used car salesmen, better known as 'lot lizards' (my dad's term, not mine...in fact he hated the lot lizards so much, we shopped for cars in the evenings after dinner, when the lots were lizard-free. There was a Baskin and Robbins ice cream next to the Ford Dealership, and he would jump up from the dinner table and shout "Who wants to go play Car Lot Commando????" And we went for ice cream and crawled all over those trucks in the lot. We were poor but proud white trash.)

The New Washer is HERE!

I have officially washed 4 loads of clothes. It's been in this house for 6 hours. It's 12:30 am and I'm going to bed now. After I take a shower with my newly cleaned Organic cotton towels. I am so excited.

Zzzzzzz... Nitey nite.

David Cook This is the Time of My Life

Enjoy!!!!

David Cook American Idol Tour: His Introduction Video

Here it is, peeps. This is the moment where David is getting introduced to the crowd for the first time...and it is quite the buildup. As you can see, I was focused on taping him at the top of the stage, and he actually walked out to the runway part of the stage, in the dark. I didn't see him. It was insanely loud. INSANELY LLOOOOUUUUDDDDD.

Anyway, here's the video...and I'm sorry if it sort of sux, but really, I was being shoved by the little chicks behind me have the concert.

Enjoy.


I love him too much for my own sanity. Not really, I just love making you guys think I am completely off my rocker.

xoxo

David Cook - Billy Jean

Ok, people, I am a goofball, and as I explained in earlier posts, I was just swept up in the moment, and a bigger 12 year old tween groupie screamer than I was when I was ACTUALLY a 12 year old. So, as you can hear on this video, am I quite excited to hear that he is singing Billy Jean, the version from American Idol show, not the MJ version.

Even though I am embarrassed by what I sound like, i am still going to share with you. This was him coming back for his encore, and the place went dark, and we didn't know if he was coming back, which is why I lost him in the video screen.

Now here's the rest of the Billy Jean song in the next post.

Please, no making fun of me. I am sensitive. And yes, I do still have my Texas accent after 16 years of living in California. Hey, my anniversary of moving here is tomorrow! July 12. Huh, just remembered that.

xoxo

PS, The David Archuleta video I posted on You Tube has already been viewed 89 times. Think he has some fans??? I'm thinking so. He's the male Hannah Montana from the sounds of those little twinkies at the concert. My ears are still ringing.

Happy Friday Everyone...dang it's hot outside

Well, for those of you keeping up on the drama of my life...let's catch up on the Washing Machine.

When last we visited the laundry room, we find the Blogtress ColeyB kicking the poo out of the piece of machinery and vexing it. And then it committed suicide, leaving ColeyB with a tub full of smelly dirty water.

Which brings us up to date to TODAY...

ColeyB worked from home today, in anticipation of the HomeDepot delivery of her new baby. I am about to pee myself with excitement. I can't imagine what it is like to wait for a REAL HUMAN baby. I have no patience for waiting. What if I had gotten preggos with a real baby? God knows, I would probably stick a chopstick in my cooch to break my own water because I couldn't stand the anticipation any longer. 9 months would have killed me...really actually I would have probably lasted 6 months and then figured it needed to come out. Back to my appliance baby...It's killing me to not pick up the phone and stalk the HomeDepot driver. They gave me a 3 hour window and It started 1 hour ago. Where the fuck is he? I'm going to call them. I know I am, if I can find the paperwork.

Well, I guess i'll got have some cheese and crackers and find something on tv. I'm done with work now. It's 5:30p and I am tired of it all.

xoxo more later. I'll try to post pics of baby installation!

David Cook signs Sketchers Shoe Deal

Why wasn't this picture a giant poster at the concert? YUMMO. That one is drool-worthy for sure. Well, our Idol has followed Carrie's footsteps and signed with Sketchers. They seem to like up and coming artists...Christina Aguilera was one...and Ashlee Simpson too. (misstep) Ok, so anyway, good for him. He's getting richer by the minute.

OMG, I'm listening to a new interview of Ryan Seacrest with David Cook..

David says that he got to go to New York for the first time ever after the show. Says he took his brother out for his 21st bday and spent mad cash. (my words not his)...

DC has a sexy voice. Anyway, so needless to say, I'm still in crush over this guy...next post...a video of his performance!

xoxo

David Archuleta at the Concert...

Here's the first one. Bare with me, it stops being grainy after a while. And yes, that is me screaming "I love you David Archuleta" in my best Texas accent. I was clowning around...drunk on Idol happiness.

xoxo

Videos to come

I have 6 videos to post. I have to figure it out. I keep getting an error message. My computer guru Chris is going to help he out...he doesn't know it yet, but I will probably just embed YouTube videos. I'll load them to YouTube at lunch. I have to work now before I get fired.

More photos!

More photos from Idol Concert

The Cookie Fans were more like Cookie Monsters. They were crazy.

American Idol Tour 2008 - ColeyB's Review

OMG…okay, even OMG does not describe the total awesomeness of that concert. Those freaking Idols busted it OUT tonite. I’m totally biased and I’m sure you all think I would tell you that, even if they were shit. But listen, no kidding, it was freaking awesome. And I will be honest and call out the people that had no business in the top 10 and there are about 3 of them.

First of all, Suki and Mae Mae attended the concert with me…shout out to my girly girl posse, ‘cuz we had us some fucking screamin’ good laughs and fun. No kidding, we cracked up every 5 minutes. The signs in the crowds, the t-shirts, the COUGARS…there was one lady who was so tanorexic it was pathetic, and she was dancing so much I thought she would sure disentegrate before it was all over. I digress.

First stop, souvenirs. I would not let us go to eat before hand. I had to be there in time to get souvenirs before those 12 yr olds raided the stands. I stood in line at the souvenir stand for 25 minutes, while Suki and Mae Mae went foraging for food. Yes, I bought $50.00 of shit. A David Cook t-shirt which I am wearing to bed tonite. Yummo. A David Cook 5 x 7 which I am going to fake autograph to me from David with lots of hugs and kisses. And a poster of the entire cast. Which I will also fake autograph, all of these things will hang in my cube at work. And all the jealous bitches will be crying. I am scanning that photo of David in, and he will be my new screen saver and desk top.

Ok people, here’s my first big statement of the night. I have decided after careful consideration and thought, that David Cook has dethroned all previous winners and is now officially my favorite Idol of all time. Yes, he has dethroned Carrie. I still like her, but not in the way I like David. If I was a lezbo, maybe. But I’m not, and me likey me some cookie. My cookie crumbles for him. OMG, I did not just write that. Ok, it’s after midnight. But listen, he was fucking hot tonite. You’ll see in the videos. Let me also tell you that this fame game has not yet gone to his head. He sincerely asked the crowd if we minded if he took video of US. He got a camcorder out, and video taped the crowd for like 2 minutes screaming our head’s off. He said he had waited 25 years to sing to a crowd like us, and he intended to tape every single night of the tour, so he would always have it to look at if it all went away. He still doesn’t believe he is a star. SO HUMBLE. He got a little choked up too. He said we were the loudest crowd yet. This is day 8 of the tour. Anyway, needless to say, he was so impressive.

SO, let me lay the show out to you. They literally did a count down from 10 to #1…so we had to wait until like 9:15 to get our first glimpse of David Cook. He was like the last ½ hour of the show. This pissed me off. They had an intermission too, where we watched these dumbasses play Guitar Hero. Snooze a rama. Ugh.

#10: Chikezie: He was awesome. He was really good…no kidding. Good stage presence, so cute talking to crowd. Really fun.
#9: Ramiele Malubay: Ok, not so good. She was in tight black pants, hooker black spike heal rubber boots, and a purple corset top…sort of a Filipino Catwoman, if you will. She was cute, but should not have been in Top 10.
#8: Michael Johns: Queen of course, and he was awesome. He sang “Dream On” Aerosmith anthem and it was better than the Queen “we are the champions” stuff. Crowd was gah gah over him. OMG, drooling.
#7: Kristy Lee Cook: Ummm, we named her Buzzkill Cook, because the crowd just died when she came on, and I think they booed her. No kidding. She was pretty, but sang Country and God Bless the USA and well, some other country song, and that was enough. She pranced around like a stripper in sequins and TIGHT ass jeans. She’s got a rockin’ body, that’s for sure.
#6: Karly Smithson: Opened with Evanescence song and she was good. But I was slowly getting a little anxious to see Cookie. I was tiring of these freaks. They all pretty much ran up and down the same ramps after a while and I was thinking Karly was starting to screech a bit. Also, the budget on this tour must be low, because it appears she is wearing the same Catwoman boots as Ramiele. Or they got them at Payless in a BOGO...(buy one get one) sale
#5: Brooke White: Lovely. She sang Coldplay’s Yellow and it was awesome. She played piano and guitar. Sang a song from Juno movie…1234…tell me that you love me more…so sweet.
#4: Jason Castro: Why? Ukelele and Over the Rainbow. Why? You couldn’t understand a word he said either.
#3: Syesha Mercado: OK, this bitch has got it going ON. People, she looked like a billion bucks and she started up singing Rihanna’s UMBRELLA and did it better than Ri. She was in a gold sparkly dress and her legs are out of this world awesome. She killed her set. Sang 4 songs. So So good.
#2: Archie: Awesome. Sang New Republic “Too Late to Apologize” and it was awesome. Sang other good stuff too. He was so freaking cute. And my ears are still ringing from the screaming. OMG, those little girls went apeshit of him.
#1: David Uber Hottie Cook: Ok, let me just say…”LEAGUES” ABOVE THE OTHERS…STAGE PRESENCE AND VOCALS. OMG, He held a concert. The other performed on a stage. It was just absolutely night and day. Syesha was the 2nd best of the night. She rocked the stage and of course, she’s an actress…Archie was good too…don’t get me wrong, but as far as engaging the crowd and entertaining us…David Cook ruled.

Oh, and the finale was the whole crew singing...please don't stop the music...which was ironic, because they were in fact stopping the music...show over. Mmm. Well, highlight of that was Karly Smithson fell down 4 steps...caught herself and giggled the rest of the show. Suki and Mae Mae (not their real names) did not see.
Alright, well, I can’t post this tonite because I don’t have internet, but I will do it first thing in the am. And I have TONS of pictures which will take me forever to post. But I will post one of each of them.

If it’s not too late, buy a ticket. This concert gets 4 Cookies….well worth the money.

Xoxo and Nitey night for me.

Leaving for the Idol Tour Concert Now

I'm literally running through the halls of my office saying "Jealous, Jealous...I'm going to the Idol concert."

People are laughing hysterically at me. Of course, I'm the class clown here at EA University.

Ok, so, I have already told everyone that we CANNOT go out to eat because we MUST get there early, to be assured that they have not run out of David Cook posters, tshirts and sippy cups. Surely they will have sippy cups or something. Tomorrow my cube will have evidence of my attendance at the concert. I will post pictures.

Washing Machine War Continues...

OMG, I cannot believe I waged war on my old washer today and it won.

In an evil, last load ever, I decide to feed the beast the yukkiest laundry ever...in my attempt to feel superior over that grey box from hell...and so, I got the bathmat that broke it last time and shoved it in. And then I added another bathmat, and 2 towels I washed my car with. Take that you piece of *(*&^.

And it broke. Error message. LD. OB. LD.

OMG, that fucker won. I am stuck with wet clothes until the new machine shows up on Friday. Well, actually, I'll just go to the retirees next door and use their washer.

Can you believe I was so evil, and I got bitch slapped by a washer.

You have to laugh.

xoxo

Hi bitches...

I'm so excited...I am thrilled to report that I have purchased the new washing machine you see above, in the lovely pearl gray. I decided to keep the old dryer, as it works like a charm, so why waste it. So, finding a matching washer that was the same height, yet a good model, etc. was quite a feat. After hours of reading online shit, thanks to Jeffro and NJ Fan for the suggestion to subscribe to Consumer reports, very helpful...I headed out to Sears, a local appliance place called Hal's, Best Buy (loathe them but just wanted to get some scoop from the sales guy) and Home Depot. Well, bitches, I should have bought a lottery ticket yesterday, because Lady Luck was riding shotgun with me. I expected to pay between $1,100 for this washer. And that was not getting the top line model with the new Steam technology or the Allergiene cycle that kills dust mites out of your comforter. I figured, I've been sleeping with them all along, they are like tiny pets... ewwwww.

Anyway, long story short, I went to Home Depot as the last stop...found the EXACT model I wanted, the sales person walked up and knocked $100.00 off ...and it was 1099 AND it was the fancy top line model with steam technology...bye bye dust mites...so now we are at $999...and then 10% off for 4th of July, so now it was $899, plus Pacific Gas gives you a $200 rebate, and then if you spend over $399, you get a $75.00 gift card from HD. OMG, I walked out the door for $800.00. THrillED. I was like orgasmic over the deal I got. One should never get THAT excited about a washing machine, but people, I wash alot of clothes. I am a clean o phobe...I do not wear clothes more than once, and I do not use towels more than once. I hate it. So, I have to do laundry like every other day. So, I thought you'd be happy to hear of my new washing machine. I'm taking a vacation day next Friday to stay home and watch it get installed, and then do laundry all day. Whoo Hoo. Excitement.

Ok, it's Sunday. It's getting hot outside. I think I will finish reading my book. I rented SemiPro last night...me and hubby must be the stupidest people on earth, because we laughed our asses off at that movie. Who doesn't love Will Ferrell? He kept yelling at the referee, who was a Catholic Priest (wore a collar under his ref uniform), every time he fouled him "I'm going to burn your house down, and murder your family." It was so harsh and so funny.

Today I am watching Bee Movie. Can't wait.


xoxo,

Laundry Lady

OMG, I just found my seats at the Idol Concert

Our seats are in Section 128 and 4 rows up. OMG, I might be able to actually see David Cook and get a good photo for my cube..and bedroom. Kidding. About the bedroom, not the cube.

So excited. Very exciting. Excitement pouring from my pores. Can you tell I'm excited?

Ok, so I can't wait to take tons of pics and I promise to post my review as quickly as I can. But I might not even get home until like midnight on Tuesday night...but knowing me, I'll have to tap tap tap on my laptop before beddy bye time. I wish I could blog from the arena like I do when watching the show live. I swear I will have to jot notes during the concert as I don't have any memory chips left in my brain.

Here's what I am looking forward to. Will Brooke forget words? Will Jason be stoned? Is Ramiele as short as she seems? Will Kristy Lee Cook pretend to be Britney Spears or Carrie Underwood on tour? Karly Smithson is singing Evannescence (sp?) Bring Me to Life...which I love, so can't wait. Chikezie is singing that Donnie song. I already told you what Queenie was singing...and Archie is singing something...uhhh, I don't care..I can't remember. I know it's not Imagine.

More later...

What has the gas crisis changed in your life?

Umm, I think it's time to admit to you all that my carpooler dumped me. Yep! I haven't heard from him in 2 weeks. I haven't emailed him either. He told me 2 weeks ago he couldn't carpool because of his kids daycare problems. Then he told me he couldn't again the next week due to same issue. And that's the last I heard of him.

O-well. I sort of hated having to get out of bed to make sure I wasn't late to meet him. And then rushing out of the office so I wasn't late to pick him up. So, I guess that was short lived. Maybe he will call or write, but I'm not holding my breath.

So, I never drive at lunch time anymore. And I don't even go to the mall. I bought my last shoes online. Zappo's. Love it.

I think I got a spider bite camping. I hope I don't croak.

I still haven't gotten my car fixed from the unfortunate run-in with the retaining wall. Ugh.

I'm rambling.

Nitey Nite.

What 'cha doing this 4th of July?

Well, if you're like me, you ain't paying for a tank of gas to go running up and down the highway. That's for sure.

Actually, I'm going shopping for a new washer and dryer. Ours sux. I hate it. They are only 5 years old and cost nearly $2000 for the w&D, and they don't clean clothes for shit. I hate them and they are noisy.

Anyone know where I can look on internet for good reviews and stuff? Anyone have any recommendations on the LG or Samsung or Kenmore? Help. I need it. Top load seems to be out...Front load is in. Energy efficient blah blah rebates, blah blah blah.

I feel so old. I should be getting drunk and barbequing and instead I'm going to be haggling with a man at Sears. Or Lowe's Or Best Buy. Not really, I hate them.

Well, tell me what you're up to, okay?

Oh, and guess what I did today? I got taken out to lunch at the Ferry Building in SF. Ok, so I ordered a hamburger, the cheapest thing on the menu and it was $16.00. Ok? Like that's f'ing nuts. And I didn't even eat it all because I ate too many pomme frites. French for French fries. Ha. And we got a bowl of organic fu fu olives floating in some oil and juice that were SO tasty. Fancy girl lunch, that's for sure. I stopped at a deli for a bottle of Pomegranite tea. Ok, $3.29 for a bottle 20 oz size. I looked at the lady and said, "what's it made of, gasoline? That's outrageous." She laughed and took my $5.oo bill and sent me packing.

Oy!

xoxo

Exciting News...

Yes, my prayers have been answered....ok, that's a little dramatic. Let's just say, I feel lucky today...I got free tickets to the Idol Tour in San Jose next Tuesday. Connections. I am grateful. I never ask anyone to pull any favors with their connections but I got my nerve up and it paid off. I got 4 tickets and I'm taking Suki and Mae Mae...and Lu will NOT go. I am so disappointed in our fellow blog buddy Lu. She just hated this season too much. I told her she is going to miss out on making fun of Stoner Jason, but even that wasn't enough to entice her.

Well, party peeps, I am going to snap snap snap photos, and I'll be giving the blow-by-blow of the idol tour. I hear Michael Johns is singing Queen, so atleast I know to hold my pee break until he goes on. He's growing a Freddy Mercury 'stache just for it as well, and he looks hideous. As I suspected, in the People video, David Cook already looks like the star and the rest are like in High School Musical mode.

So, anyhoo...I can't wait.

Idol Tour Started last Night

http://www.people.com/people/videos/0,,20209613,00.html

This is the link to People.com and it's a video of the 10 of them preparing backstage...and all that.

They are pretty cute. It's looking like it could be pretty good. The thing I thought was funny is they never let Chikezie talk. What's up with that?

more later...

Sorry I haven't been around...

People...ColeyB has been on the move. Sorry, I haven't had much to say or talk about. I haven't had a wreck on the way to Jack In the Box...so no worries NJ Fan...and thanks for the info below. Here's the full story...Paris Bennett is officially knocked up.

---------------

19-year-old American Idol alum Paris Bennett is engaged "and pregnant.
The season five finalist " who made it to the top five in 2006 and earned the nickname "Princess P" from fans " announced the news on her MySpace page.

"Yes, I'm engaged and with child; a girl and her name will be Egypt," Bennett wrote. "She will be here in October just before the holiday album."

Bennett's mother, Jamecia, also confirmed the news to the Minneapolis Star Tribune.

"She has a ring," said Jamecia, who said the father "chooses not to be in the public eye.

"I'm proud of how she did it," Jamecia added. "I was 16 when I got pregnant."

Jamecia told the paper that Queen Latifah has already sent her well-wishes and may attend the August baby shower.

"You're the princess, but I'm the Queen," Bennett says Latifah told her daughter.
---------------
NJ Fan also sez:

also, Kristi Lee Cook signed with the same record label as Carrie. Her single is due out Aug. 11th.

Hope you weren't struck by a crazy illness or car accident on your way to Jack in the Box



----------------
So anyhoo...here's a picture of where I went camping this weekend...in the smoke.



Lots of fun...

More later sk8trs.

xoxo