Here we go...Dolly Parton week...

Oh a mentor week. Wow. Dolly Parton. Not sure that really blows my skirt up. I just can't get into her music. It's uber-country, but she is an icon and just the greatest ever, but really, she was a better actress to me. 9 to 5 and Steel Magnolias. Great performances.

Brooke...well, she is as pure as the driven snow. Don't I say that every week? She's good. I like her.

David Cook...Awesome as usual, even with stuff that ain't even in his genre. I love his haircut.

Ramiele...I hate her outfit. Her hair has gotten better. She is so funny and tiny. Simon, come up with something else, other than the cruise ship shit.

Jason Castro...This guy is just so mellow and sort of what I call a dummy cat. Ooh, Dolly don't touch that hair. You never know what will come flying out of there. It's like doo doo rolls. I don't like it. Ok, now this fool has that freakin guitar up there, and isn't going to move one muscle on that stage. He's so afraid to get out of his comfort zone. But you know, he sings really well, but they better pass out cots and pillows at any of his concerts 'cuz I will be asleep 30 minutes into it. He does have THE most beautiful eyes.

Carly is going to sing "Here You Come Again". And Dolly loved it. Did you see Dolly is wearing a little tiara. Funny shit. Carly looks like she is wearing a pirate outfit. Like something Orlando Bloom wore in Pirates of the Caribbean. Weird. And those tattoos are too much for my conservative taste. She sings airight. Didn't blow me away, and no one will this week 'cuz this music was not so groovy. OMG< Simon calls Carly out that her clothes. I called it.

Hey, Michael Kors is sitting right behind Pauler. Look. He's right there. I saw him in the opening credits and he is sitting behind Randy. Rewind your Tivos. MK loves his Idol it seems.

David Archuletta...now look people. If he made a cd tomorrow with a bunch of songs written by John Mayer, I'd buy that cd in a NY minute. He has a great voice. No doubt, this kid will have a cd. But he's just too young for me to get behind. Like those Jonas Bros and Miley Cyrus have some pipes but I can't tune in to fucking Radio Disney. Pleeze. Back to DA. He's great. No question. Nice performance. Beautiful aura about him. Simon loved him.

Kristy Lee "I've got one foot out the door each week" Cook...will perform next. But you know what she is going to be good this week. Hey, she forgot her shoes. She's barefoot! Hey listen, this chick looks like a star. She looks like a young Faith Hill tonite. You know what, this chick is headed right out there to the Kellie Pickler school of "who cares if I win Idol, I'm headed to Nashville". Simon has CRS disease. He Can't Remember Shit...and none of the performances either.

Syesha...pulls a Whitney and Dolly "I will Always Love You". Beautiful version and she does a great job. She is a really good singer too. These people are really good in the top 9. There isn't really a stinker in the bunch. Oh wait, Michael Johns, the tennis player is up next. I don't like him...never have. Oh, back to Syesha.

Yo, check it out now. Randy don't likes no one taking on Whitney songs. Never has. He just doesn't likes it. Pauler, as usual, thinks she is Project Runway and judges everyones clothing, first. God, she is so lame sometimes. And they ding Sy for pulling Whitney as well.

Here's Tennis Pro wannabe...Ok, what is that pink and black ascot scarf thingy around his neck. It don't look like a bandanna, if it's supposed to. Actually, this is a pretty good performance. Thank God he couldn't sing flippin' Queen. Freddie Mercury is even sick of his singing I bet. Good job. Simon, says that this is the best he has heard, and I have to agree. but I think it might be because it isn't freaking Queen.

So, is Ramiele finally joining Danny Noriega at the mall this weekend? She gots to go.

And so do I. But I promise not to be gone so long this time. I have some fun travel stories to share, of course. No pigs on this trip though.

xoxo.
Cole




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