Yeah Motown....

For those of you not privileged enough to grow up with Motown and The Jackson 5, I'm sorry. "cuz tonite's my favorite music genre night. I love Motown. It's like the only music me and my husband both LOVE. Except Sting and Sade. Those are the only 2 artists we both love...and Motown.

Paula is wearing a TuTu tonite.

So, I told y'all last week that Matt Girard is my pick for the win this season. And he starts off first this evening. Not a good slot, but he'll be fine.

Smokey...giving Joan Rivers a run for her money in the plastic surgery department. OMG. He's speaking through his belly button.

Love Matt Girard's performance. He's really talented. Oh and he's getting up and gonna dance and perform. That's a JT move for sure.
Kris Allen...it's ok, but I think it's kind of a flat line. he's not entertaining. Can you imagine sitting and listening to him sing standing there for 2 hours at a concert with him singing into a microphone, not moving around much? Good voice, no entertainment factor.
Scott ....you know what? He's got to go. THis is boring. Very average.

Megan...for the first time, she sounds weird to me. Smokey hits it right...she is a cabaret jazz singer. Her dance moves??? Let's see. OMG, that outfit and that flower in her hair looks awful. I think this sucks. I feel like she's an old lady drunk on a cruise ship. She's like the weird housewife that thinks she hot...and not a cougar hot. Why the hell would they put those weird wood chunks on her neck? I hated it. Hated it. So sorry, but that sucked so bad. OMG, Randy agreed with me. Trainwreck.
Pauler....it's not a beauty contest. 3 strikes...and Simon is going to lower the boom. OMG, he's had 3 minutes to think about it.
Oh Dear dear dear...the bad news is it was horrible. Whoever is advising you, I'd fire. Aawwww....little Barbie got burned tonite. My husband says the blind dude should go before her.

Anoop singing Ooh Baby Baby. Anoop...my husband calls the sleeper cell of the competition... I agree. He hit a good note with Smokey.Wowowowowo. good control. He's holding back and he sounds a smooth as buddah. I'm impressed. I mean he isn't exactly the whole package. I mean, admit it...you can't stop thinking about Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. Admit it. (H&K Escape from Guantanamo Bay is better.) Kara is liking it, not gushing. Pauler is babbling. Simon...it was a great vocal, but felt he looked a little bit asleep. Lite on showmanship. Randy says, what I would do is turn it back up next week. Croon and swoon. Get the party on! Come on Kumar!!!!! Burn this mpther)(***(* down.

Matt Sarver..didn't get to go to Detroit. Dang that flu. Smokey came out to the house. House call Smokey. Matt is churchin' it up. Uh oh, Smokey doesn't think Matt is singing it hard enough. Pound it more. Mmm...first time Smokey wasn't thrilled. Matt, you can't take the high notes...your range ain't Kumar's that's for sure. I hate this karaoke at the church potluck supper performance...pass the fried chicken please.

When is someone going to sing Jackson 5? Dammit. Pauler busted on him with the Las Vegas loungy comments. She just repeats what Smokey said. Simon gives him the Obama "look"...you know how Obama says "look" before he says a tough statement. Blah blah Simon. Can we just click click ...now I'm in an argument with Greg about moving on. God, let's stop beating the damn dead horse. Gawd.

Next. Click Click. Please move on.

Who's next. Lil? She was crying down at Hitville. Oh, look they are talking about emotional Lil. Hubby is not happy. He hates this song. you know what? Lil is getting better and better each week. That hair is awesome. Oh, look, her hair grew 6 inches this week, OR she paid the wigsters a visit.

I think I'm having a seizure. The red lights, she swinging dress, the earrings, her bouncing, I'm fucking dizzy. It sounds great, but it's frantic. She has a great voice. I just hate this song. And I'm gonna have to find my migraine pills. Lord. Lord. Lord.
Hello? Randy felt it was rushed too. OMG, it was like she was running through hell wearing gasoline drawers. Simon...emotional...authentic tribute to sounds of Motown. Yep, it didn't give her a moment.

Look, when is Adam coming up? Oh, yeah! Tracks of my Tears. Great song. Love this song. Oh, Adam is going unplugged. Wow...he's smart. OMG, he's looking like Rick Nelson or Elvis. Oh, this guy is here to play. couldn't bear to lose the earrings, but I think he lost the black nail polish. Nice lip gloss. Nice peach shade. Wow, well, say what you will, but this dude has made vocal talent. Smokey gave him a standing o. OH my. And Berry. And Kara. One of the best performances of the night. Um, Kara, if you want to make a statement, say "THE best performance of the night". One of the best could have been said to probably 3 others tonite. OMG, Simon pulls it out. I swear I did not type that after Simon said it. I love when Simon and me are so sympatico. Emerged as a star. Yeah, he totally just made America forget about that Johnny Cash debacle. Whoever is advises him is brilliant.

Danny Gokey, loses the glasses. Hey, I think he got highlights. Seacrest says "let's see if he takes Smokey's advice on stage"...this tells me that Ryan saw rehearsal and Danny doesn't. Let's see. OMG, I was right. I bet he gets dinging for that...bet me. Why else would they focus on that.
Again, another rushed performance. Frantic. Thank God I took my nerve pills after Lil. This guy has performed the same thing for 4 weeks. sing, bounce, walk, sing. It's predictable. Simon said "clumsy and amateurish" Randy thought it was a dope voice. Good energy and feel. Kara liked the personalitiy. Huge Danny fan.

Oh we forgot Alison. Damn. Dayum. They hookered her up but goodl She reminds me of Brittany Murphy. SHE IS A BAD ASS. Holy Shit, she killed that song. KILLED it. WOW, I hate that song, and I loved that. BLAZING HOT. Kara said a bunch of great shit. Simon drew a mustache on Pauler. OMG so funny. Simon...you are a survivor...best performances ever.

Well, I hope it's Scott's last night on the show. I'm tired of worrying about him falling down anyway. That's not me being mean. I just have my own issues...not Scott.

Good show, good show. I'd like to thank my producers, the writers and my cats for bringing tonite's blog to you...a production of ColeyB Inc.

xoxo,

cb