As we all know, I am Mayor of Blogtown. And Blogtown would not exist without the constituents...my loyal readers and quite the cast of characters. If you read this blog regularly, then you are a Blogtown resident. Is this blog url in your bookmarks? (I hope so because I named this the stupidest url ever...sorry, but I was a rookie, and originally, this was written for 40 office co-workers and that's it).
Anyway, citizens, since my last post, it seems there is great interest in nostalgia, and perhaps we need to introduce some of the main players to any new readers. I hate when I feel left out of the joke, because I'm late to the party or whatever. I want to introduce or re-introduce everyone to the main players of Blogtown. If this was a tv show, it would be sort of cross between Melrose Place and The Office. Lots of my co-workers are key contributors to this fun, hence the office. I am not Michael Scott.
Let's start with the most loyal of the loyal members...Jeffro...or WindyCityNut in the early days. Now, I'm going to have to be brutally honest here and admit some stuff, that may or may not embarrass or surprise you, my readers. So hold onto your seats. (cue the Melrose, soap opera music) Jeffro was my first blog crush. You know how people have groupies, and they hate them on the outside, but love them on the inside because they feed the ego. Well, this was NOTHING like that. Jeffro was simply a funny fucking guy that made ME laugh. I feel like he brought the funny out of me. I wrote crazier shit just to see what he would say. My Muse, if you will. So, I got the big idea that in the off season, we would write the blog together, sort of bounce back and forth. Which lead to exchanging personal emails, where we talked about this, but after only speaking via the blog for so long, it was weird...and then I called him, and he called me back and suddenly it was all so weird. If our spouses hadn't freaked out, we probably wouldn't have noticed a damn thing because quite frankly Jeffro and I are too stupid to cheat on our spouses, I've figured out. Well, I'm too lazy actually. I don't want to have to put effort into another relationship...this one is killing me as it is. And Jeffro, well he was a newlywed and well, he was just stupid too. Both our spouses feared that we were serial killers. Jeff was going to kill me and Jeff's spouse was sure I was hopping a plane to kill him, Again, never crossed our minds. So, when I found out that Jeffro and his lovely wife had a huge explosive fight about him participating in the blog, I lost it. I felt terrible, and I CUT HIM OUT OF THE BLOG. I erased every single post that he commented on, or that he was in. He disappeared. This is what he refers to as 'me taking out a hit on him'. Yes, he was erased. And then the funniest thing was he wouldn't go away. I know he kept reading. And then he started commenting in another name. He was addicted to the blog. So sad. He had to go to rehab. So, after he convinced me that his wife wasn't going to kill ME, I let him back in. And that's the story of Jeffro "WindyCity Nut". I heart you Jeffro!
NJ Fan: Now I have no idea who this chick is, and the way she types is so funny. She's my little fact finding fact checker. If I wonder about it on the blog, she finds that shit out and posts the comments. And she agrees with everything I say. Very smart girl this one. She's funny and I heart you too NJ Fan!
Tink from California: My most demanding fan. She thinks her TIVO works on ME! When I announced I was not going to blog live, she was up in arms and demanded that on Idol nights, NO KNITTING. To which I agreed. For fear she was going to come find me. And if I don't post something, she writes me about 10:00 in the morning and says something like "Hello, I'm waiting for my daily dose of the blog" Between her and Jeffro, I am not allowed to go on vacation, that's for sure. I wonder if they would pay me by the week? Like a dollar? Man that would be cool. I could open my yarn shop for sure, when I am 65. Thanks Tink for all the fun comments. Of course, I heart you too.
Now the rest of the players I am not going to identify so closely because you might want to retain your privacy. But, I do wish you all could know your neighbors in Blogtown. I'll list some people by first name, and then you can get an idea of the people that are sharing this space...because in all seriousness, we are a community here. And I write this because I think you all are fun, when I pass you in the halls at work, or get the random emails or phone calls. Do please remember that I am very surprised when people really care what I think about American Idol. I mean when one person asks you who's getting voted off, that's one thing. When 12 people come up to you each week and 5 email you and 5 call you, then you start to feel sort of weird because you actually feel like you owe them some thought and maybe some wittiness. I know that's weird. And I have had to come to accept that I am obsessive and get very caught up in things that excite me. And citizens of Blogtown just fuel my fire.
Here are some of your neighbors, you might want to say hi to when cruising through Blogtown:
Chris- equally obsessed with Idol and reality tv. Co-worker (code: CW) Sweetest, nicest guy I have ever met in my life, hands down and I adore him. Easily my favorite co-worker. He's funny, kind and has a great laugh. And a dang good designer.
Lu -Former CW (code; FCW) Lu, equally as funny as Jeffro. This girl makes me crack my ass up. Seriously, and she used to be scared of me at work because I flipped her attitude. This was when I was in my bitchy season at work. Lu is the most well traveled girl I have ever met. She goes on cruises like I go to the mall. Constantly cruising.
Susan - friend of Dee Dee's at work. She keeps Dee Dee (college roommate) up to date on my shenanigans. Texas girls have to watch each other's backs. Dee Dee says that her friend thinks I'm famous. Sorry to disappoint Susan.
Paul: Dee Dee's husband. What? He reads my blog. Well, blow me over with a feather. I could not believe it when he told me. Thanks Paul. That is one of the greatest compliments I have ever received. Note, even Dee Dee does not read the blog.
JenG - FCW: Has the most interesting career options and changes and gigs of anyone I ever met. She hangs out with the announcers and staff and celebs each night when the SF Giants play at home. She's like the scorekeeper chick in the outfield, and does PR and stuff. Sweetest girl. Hi Jen!!!
DNatz and Ellen: 2 FCWs who I miss every day. Hope life is treating you both well. Drop me a comment or two!
AmyB - cancer lottery winner and survivor. Imagine this...you get diagnosed with cancer, go down for 6 months, get back up, fight and survive, while getting to try out numerous hair colors and do's along the way, get a dream job, run around with Tiger Woods, run the NYC Marathon, meet Lance Armstrong and hang with Phil Knight at Nike, where you are employed. Ok, so if that's not winning the cancer lottery, you tell me what is. Is it possible to be jealous of a cancer survivor? I prefer to call it inspired.
Sheila: new member and literally someone that has shown me the lighter side of life lately and just makes me smile to think about her. You know her as my twin. I truly believe that God has brought us together for a reason and the fun has just begun.
Seester: My baby sister. She's smarter than me, but more of a brat. She's condescending, but you know, instead of battling it, I finally find the humor in it. We are like oil and water...but that makes a pretty tasty vinaigrette with the right ingredients added, like good humor and love. She is the first person I call when things are really super bad or good. There is no substitute for a sister, no matter what. You can have boundaries, but they come down when you get the call. Love you tons baby sister.
Mallooooo: A Texas girl that lifts me up and has a smile as big as the state she lives in. Met her at my first job out of college and we have always kept in touch. Gonna see her next week on vacay!
Lord, you people must be tired of this blog. I fear I have forgotten someone. If I have, I apologize, but it is getting late.
Why did I write this? Because I wanted to lift you all up and thank you for being great citizens of Blogtown, thank you for not peeing in the city swimming pool, and for picking up your trash when you leave the park.
Hey, I got a mammogram today. That was fun. My boobage smashed between 2 plates of glass looked oddly like pancake batter, spreading on a griddle. Maybe I was just hungry for pancakes.
xoxo,
ColeyB
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Idol Tuesday...any song choice goes!
Well, they get to pick their own songs. Supposedly, this song would be the song they would sing to indicate what they want to be as an artist.
Really cool to see American Top 40.
So Anoop is up first and picks Usher. wowzie. Ok, this is not really good. I can't see him as an artist, he's like a 12 year old to me. And they thought it was bleh, It was a slow arrangement...needed to speed up. Judges were harsher than me. Brutal
Next up Megan. OMG, could she please pick a good song. WTF? BOB MARLEY. Essentially she saying she wants to put out a Bob Marley cd? Really. Ok, this is boring. I'm going to the kitchen for a coke. Seriously. She can't even have a stage presence. OMG, they beat the proverbial dead horse on that one. It's as if they want her voted off. Lord that poor girl. I'd run from that stage in tears. OMG someone shouted at Kara that she sounded like a broken record. ha ha
Gokey, goes with Rascal Flatts. AMAZING SONG. Good song choice. Ok, so we finally have a good contestant tonite. Might be his best performance ever. I love this. LOVE this. Excellent job Gokey. You did the rascals proud. So, Simon and me are on the same page on this one. Get a great song, do it brilliantly, and do your version. Way to go Danny!!! Randy, is so cute tonite. I'm sort of getting tired of Kara. Sort of. Hubby read on internet that Kara and Paula don't talk.
Allison...playing guitar.OMG she is killing it. OMG, I really love this version better than Gwen's. I hate that pink hair. Randy, she was rushing the band because they are too slow tonite. Now they are picking on her clothes...because you can't pick on her music Kara. I do hate the electrified poodle hair she's sporting. Pauler, attempting to sounding cool, calls Allison's guitar her 'axe' and Simon follows with more picks at the outfit. Whatever, can we hear about the singing?
Scott, omg, the blind guy, they messed up his hair. I guess it's pretty ok, but I wonder what he thought they were doing. Can he see just a little bit? I bet you Elton John is his next song performance. Best performance by a country mile so far from Simon.
Justin Timbermatt is here. Bottom 3 last week. He's got to dig out of the hole. The FRAY. I love them and I love this song, and he's dead on. That's great. hey, they put him amongst the people. They are trying to boost his star power. They don't want him to go, I can tell. OK People...this is my favorite performance of the night. excellent excellent . rough at start, but he worked it out. PAULA, wtf. you suck Pauler. I hope everyone says they couldn't disagree more. Cowell. Simon didn't like it. Wow, I can't believe it. I totally disagree with these peeps. Wow, they are blasting him. They are really really throwing me a curve. Poor Matt. he's not doing well on this. dangit. Kara wants him to pick the r&b side of pop or rock side of pop. Note that they don't really want people to pick POP.
Li'l : picking her song. Celine Dion...well, they will blast that. Do these people watch this show ever, before they are on it? Obviously they don't read this blog, because here in Blogtown, we know that you are not to pick Diva's songs. Never pick a Celine, Whitney or Mariah song. NEVER. Kiss of death, unless you blow it out. Li'l got a new wig this week. hate it. She sings really well, but she sounds like everyone else. Not different like Jennifer Hudson, or Mandisa...Tamyra Grey. Randy is first up...hates the song choice. But thinks she sang it well. Kara told her to pick Mariah. I dunno. Mary J Blige, she already sang. Broken Record, shut it. Pauler don't want to see the AC Li'l Rounds. Not sure what she wants to hear. Simon felt she was the Wedding Singer.
I bet Adam is last this week. Who's next? Oh, Adam. WHAT THE Wild Cherry "play that funky music white boy". Lord he never ceases to amaze us. Hey, he kept last week's hair. I guess he's been sleeping in a shower cap for a week, to keep that helmet shined. Indulgent. OMG, he is killing me. Listen, there is no way you can deny he is absolutely an entertainer...he is awesome. Screamer to the end. I can't help it, but I look forward to him every week. Seriously, he's a whack job. Pauler is trying to ssshh the crowd. Mick Jagger, Steven Tyler and Adam Lambert. Simon, original and good for you Adam. Randy, tells him he is in the star zone. And Adam gives the props to the band, very professional. Kara and me, on same page.
Ok, like Kris Allen...I could care less what he sings. I know it will be boring.
HEY there's Mandisa.
Kris. please don't sing "And I know I know Iknow Iknow I know " more than 7 times or I am going to Tivo you off. Is he growing a mustache? What? He sang I know 12 times in a row. I did not Tivo ahead, because this is actually pretty good. Nice emotion. I didn't like the last note, but it was really a solid performance. Kara, that is artistry. OMG, Kara, you are getting a little bit full of yourself. Pauler ...blah blah blah. Simon, liked his confidence. Well done.
So who's going home. Who cares? David Cook is on tomorrow night. Whoo Hoo!
Bottom 3: Scott, Megan and Anoop.
Really cool to see American Top 40.
So Anoop is up first and picks Usher. wowzie. Ok, this is not really good. I can't see him as an artist, he's like a 12 year old to me. And they thought it was bleh, It was a slow arrangement...needed to speed up. Judges were harsher than me. Brutal
Next up Megan. OMG, could she please pick a good song. WTF? BOB MARLEY. Essentially she saying she wants to put out a Bob Marley cd? Really. Ok, this is boring. I'm going to the kitchen for a coke. Seriously. She can't even have a stage presence. OMG, they beat the proverbial dead horse on that one. It's as if they want her voted off. Lord that poor girl. I'd run from that stage in tears. OMG someone shouted at Kara that she sounded like a broken record. ha ha
Gokey, goes with Rascal Flatts. AMAZING SONG. Good song choice. Ok, so we finally have a good contestant tonite. Might be his best performance ever. I love this. LOVE this. Excellent job Gokey. You did the rascals proud. So, Simon and me are on the same page on this one. Get a great song, do it brilliantly, and do your version. Way to go Danny!!! Randy, is so cute tonite. I'm sort of getting tired of Kara. Sort of. Hubby read on internet that Kara and Paula don't talk.
Allison...playing guitar.OMG she is killing it. OMG, I really love this version better than Gwen's. I hate that pink hair. Randy, she was rushing the band because they are too slow tonite. Now they are picking on her clothes...because you can't pick on her music Kara. I do hate the electrified poodle hair she's sporting. Pauler, attempting to sounding cool, calls Allison's guitar her 'axe' and Simon follows with more picks at the outfit. Whatever, can we hear about the singing?
Scott, omg, the blind guy, they messed up his hair. I guess it's pretty ok, but I wonder what he thought they were doing. Can he see just a little bit? I bet you Elton John is his next song performance. Best performance by a country mile so far from Simon.
Justin Timbermatt is here. Bottom 3 last week. He's got to dig out of the hole. The FRAY. I love them and I love this song, and he's dead on. That's great. hey, they put him amongst the people. They are trying to boost his star power. They don't want him to go, I can tell. OK People...this is my favorite performance of the night. excellent excellent . rough at start, but he worked it out. PAULA, wtf. you suck Pauler. I hope everyone says they couldn't disagree more. Cowell. Simon didn't like it. Wow, I can't believe it. I totally disagree with these peeps. Wow, they are blasting him. They are really really throwing me a curve. Poor Matt. he's not doing well on this. dangit. Kara wants him to pick the r&b side of pop or rock side of pop. Note that they don't really want people to pick POP.
Li'l : picking her song. Celine Dion...well, they will blast that. Do these people watch this show ever, before they are on it? Obviously they don't read this blog, because here in Blogtown, we know that you are not to pick Diva's songs. Never pick a Celine, Whitney or Mariah song. NEVER. Kiss of death, unless you blow it out. Li'l got a new wig this week. hate it. She sings really well, but she sounds like everyone else. Not different like Jennifer Hudson, or Mandisa...Tamyra Grey. Randy is first up...hates the song choice. But thinks she sang it well. Kara told her to pick Mariah. I dunno. Mary J Blige, she already sang. Broken Record, shut it. Pauler don't want to see the AC Li'l Rounds. Not sure what she wants to hear. Simon felt she was the Wedding Singer.
I bet Adam is last this week. Who's next? Oh, Adam. WHAT THE Wild Cherry "play that funky music white boy". Lord he never ceases to amaze us. Hey, he kept last week's hair. I guess he's been sleeping in a shower cap for a week, to keep that helmet shined. Indulgent. OMG, he is killing me. Listen, there is no way you can deny he is absolutely an entertainer...he is awesome. Screamer to the end. I can't help it, but I look forward to him every week. Seriously, he's a whack job. Pauler is trying to ssshh the crowd. Mick Jagger, Steven Tyler and Adam Lambert. Simon, original and good for you Adam. Randy, tells him he is in the star zone. And Adam gives the props to the band, very professional. Kara and me, on same page.
Ok, like Kris Allen...I could care less what he sings. I know it will be boring.
HEY there's Mandisa.
Kris. please don't sing "And I know I know Iknow Iknow I know " more than 7 times or I am going to Tivo you off. Is he growing a mustache? What? He sang I know 12 times in a row. I did not Tivo ahead, because this is actually pretty good. Nice emotion. I didn't like the last note, but it was really a solid performance. Kara, that is artistry. OMG, Kara, you are getting a little bit full of yourself. Pauler ...blah blah blah. Simon, liked his confidence. Well done.
So who's going home. Who cares? David Cook is on tomorrow night. Whoo Hoo!
Bottom 3: Scott, Megan and Anoop.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Addressing the readers questions...
Some of you may, or may not, read the comments that various readers leave on the blog. If you already read the post, you wouldn't go back and see comments later. But I get an instant email when one of you feels the need to respond to my little rants.
So, I find it very amusing when you all start to talk to each other, through me. I love it. I like to think that I have built a little community of you guys...kind of like Cheers, where there are regulars that blow through the door, and there are the fade in, fade outs. It goes without saying Jeffro is our NORM. And we have lost our Cliffy Clavin in Chad. I liked Chad alot, but he and jeffro got into it when talking about Katherine McPhee's boobs and I think Cliffy Chad lost interest.
Christina...well. A LONG time ago, she sent me her url. Let's see if it still works. yeppers. Hey, it just has this photo on it. So, I guess we know why she has lost interest in my blog. She's a mac geek. Remember how she was about to buy a mac, then got eye surgery, and then couldn't see 'cuz it f'd up, etc. Well, we lost Christina to her mac. For those that want to read the banterings of her and Jeffro, see Idol season 2 years ago, was it Jeffro? Can't remember.
Jeffro used to taunt her to post pictures of herself in a bikini or some crazy shit like that.
OMG my husband is trying to interrupt me by telling me about 92 grams of fat in a Quizno's Prime Rib Sandwich. no duh dumbo, that think is dripping in cheese and fatty meats. It's the equivalent to 15 orders of Supersize Fries from McDonald's. OMG, fast food nation is killing us, one fry at a time. They like cigarettes putting nails in our coffins.
Anyway, I find it funny that people come and go in our quaint little virtual town, some are missed and some are not. I used to talk alot about someone on the blog, and no one has said a word about their absence. I find it hysterical. Or mysterious. Anyway, Jeffro would know who I am talking about. I wish I could email him privately, but I can't, due to our non-spoken agreements to ourselves and spouses to never contact each other privately again. Long story. Anyway, Jeffro, if I could tell you in person, I would tell you that the person you know I am talking about...well, they decided I was a bitch and thought they should tell me so. Enough said. I won't bore you with the details, but I did think you would laugh. NJ Fan and Tink probably remember too. Lu, are we having Chinese food on Weds, or are we going to Sandwich shop? I want $5.00 Chinese from Amazing Wok. Cheap and yummmy.
So, my little Citizens of Blogtown, I appreciate the 'off topic of Idol' posts now and again.
I felt an Earthquake today. I think it was number 6 since I have moved to California, nearly 17 years ago. I can't wait until next year, because it will mean I have lived here longer than I lived in my youth in Texas City. That's a weird thought for me. I'm headed to Texas on Sunday for business. Going to Dallas, and then to Indianapolis, Indiana, which I guess will be pretty fun, since I've never been there. I'm going to find time to go to the Indy 500, just to see the track. Anyone live nearby that wants to come visit me? Kidding!
Well, I guess I'm off to bed now. zzzzzzzzzzzz....
PS. LIttle gossip. I heard that Kelly Clarkson had to kiss Simon's ass, and apologize before he'd let her on the show. Evidently, she would not allow KC songs to be sung on the show for 2 seasons. That's not nice KC. Karma bit you in the ass for that, and it manifested itself as an album called MyDecember. (which i liked alot, but America evidently, not so much)
confession time, before bedtime...Dear Bloggers, I ask your understanding at this confession. But my favorite cd right now is Britney Spears Circus.
Womanizer, Womanizer....I can't help it. i love it.
zzzzzzzzzzzz for reals this time
So, I find it very amusing when you all start to talk to each other, through me. I love it. I like to think that I have built a little community of you guys...kind of like Cheers, where there are regulars that blow through the door, and there are the fade in, fade outs. It goes without saying Jeffro is our NORM. And we have lost our Cliffy Clavin in Chad. I liked Chad alot, but he and jeffro got into it when talking about Katherine McPhee's boobs and I think Cliffy Chad lost interest.
Christina...well. A LONG time ago, she sent me her url. Let's see if it still works. yeppers. Hey, it just has this photo on it. So, I guess we know why she has lost interest in my blog. She's a mac geek. Remember how she was about to buy a mac, then got eye surgery, and then couldn't see 'cuz it f'd up, etc. Well, we lost Christina to her mac. For those that want to read the banterings of her and Jeffro, see Idol season 2 years ago, was it Jeffro? Can't remember.
Jeffro used to taunt her to post pictures of herself in a bikini or some crazy shit like that.OMG my husband is trying to interrupt me by telling me about 92 grams of fat in a Quizno's Prime Rib Sandwich. no duh dumbo, that think is dripping in cheese and fatty meats. It's the equivalent to 15 orders of Supersize Fries from McDonald's. OMG, fast food nation is killing us, one fry at a time. They like cigarettes putting nails in our coffins.
Anyway, I find it funny that people come and go in our quaint little virtual town, some are missed and some are not. I used to talk alot about someone on the blog, and no one has said a word about their absence. I find it hysterical. Or mysterious. Anyway, Jeffro would know who I am talking about. I wish I could email him privately, but I can't, due to our non-spoken agreements to ourselves and spouses to never contact each other privately again. Long story. Anyway, Jeffro, if I could tell you in person, I would tell you that the person you know I am talking about...well, they decided I was a bitch and thought they should tell me so. Enough said. I won't bore you with the details, but I did think you would laugh. NJ Fan and Tink probably remember too. Lu, are we having Chinese food on Weds, or are we going to Sandwich shop? I want $5.00 Chinese from Amazing Wok. Cheap and yummmy.
So, my little Citizens of Blogtown, I appreciate the 'off topic of Idol' posts now and again.
I felt an Earthquake today. I think it was number 6 since I have moved to California, nearly 17 years ago. I can't wait until next year, because it will mean I have lived here longer than I lived in my youth in Texas City. That's a weird thought for me. I'm headed to Texas on Sunday for business. Going to Dallas, and then to Indianapolis, Indiana, which I guess will be pretty fun, since I've never been there. I'm going to find time to go to the Indy 500, just to see the track. Anyone live nearby that wants to come visit me? Kidding!
Well, I guess I'm off to bed now. zzzzzzzzzzzz....
PS. LIttle gossip. I heard that Kelly Clarkson had to kiss Simon's ass, and apologize before he'd let her on the show. Evidently, she would not allow KC songs to be sung on the show for 2 seasons. That's not nice KC. Karma bit you in the ass for that, and it manifested itself as an album called MyDecember. (which i liked alot, but America evidently, not so much)
confession time, before bedtime...Dear Bloggers, I ask your understanding at this confession. But my favorite cd right now is Britney Spears Circus.
Womanizer, Womanizer....I can't help it. i love it.
zzzzzzzzzzzz for reals this time
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Matt Girard
Ok, tell me that doesn't look exactly like what Matt wore on Idol two weeks ago. Fedora and scarf and jeans.
He better dial back the Timberfake. Or not. What do you think?
xoxo,
ColeyB
And now a word from Lu....
Lu, you may recall, a frequent commenter on this blog, has poked her head out of a hole, and left me a message. It's like she's a little Groundhog that came out to watch the Top 12 on American Idol.
Lu has been gone from my company for a bit now, we no longer work together and it seems her new job is taking up alot of her time. Or atleast that's what I choose to believe, instead of what is probably reality and she doesn't read the blog anymore. DOh!
So, as usual, her message was a laugh riot. I wish I could capture it and play it, but in any case, the gist is this. Lu is pissed off that they put the poor blind guy in pink jeans. You know he thought they were blue. It's just not right. Stylist taking advantage of the blind is a crime.
That Lu. Well, we certainly welcome her to come back and post her comments here!
As for the rest of you, hope you're enjoying this season. I know I am.
I leave you with some thoughts to ponder, as you run your weekend errands and fold laundry.
I wonder if Adam was peaking too fast, so he took a dive on the "ring of fire" song? I wonder if he plans to just be someone different every single week, so that he keeps being fresh? If this is his strategy, it's working. Because I am bored with most of them. I must say, Megan also makes me want to tune it, just to see how she will look, or dance, or what song she is doing. Isn't that sort of the Sanjaya factor? Don't both Megan and Adam have the Sanjaya factor?
We only have like 4 more weeks that the magic bullet can save a contestant. They can't use it when only 5 remain.
Cole
Lu has been gone from my company for a bit now, we no longer work together and it seems her new job is taking up alot of her time. Or atleast that's what I choose to believe, instead of what is probably reality and she doesn't read the blog anymore. DOh!
So, as usual, her message was a laugh riot. I wish I could capture it and play it, but in any case, the gist is this. Lu is pissed off that they put the poor blind guy in pink jeans. You know he thought they were blue. It's just not right. Stylist taking advantage of the blind is a crime.
That Lu. Well, we certainly welcome her to come back and post her comments here!
As for the rest of you, hope you're enjoying this season. I know I am.
I leave you with some thoughts to ponder, as you run your weekend errands and fold laundry.
I wonder if Adam was peaking too fast, so he took a dive on the "ring of fire" song? I wonder if he plans to just be someone different every single week, so that he keeps being fresh? If this is his strategy, it's working. Because I am bored with most of them. I must say, Megan also makes me want to tune it, just to see how she will look, or dance, or what song she is doing. Isn't that sort of the Sanjaya factor? Don't both Megan and Adam have the Sanjaya factor?
We only have like 4 more weeks that the magic bullet can save a contestant. They can't use it when only 5 remain.
Cole
Shield your Eyes
He is such a stupid clown. A talented musician that is arrogant and thinks everyone will think he is awesome. The former Mr. Jennifer Aniston, is now putting together a 4 day cruise to mexico where he will perform.
Tip: Do not use this image in your promotional materials. Despite what you think, your happy trail of pubes is more like an overgrown garden of weeds. Do they make Man-Brazilians? Of course not be cause men are weanies, which is why God attached one to them, as a reminder.
Mr. Mayer, you body is not a wonderland...and we do not want to buy a ticket to visit. And I'm tired of hearing about the Twitter issues. Are you 12 years old?
Friday, March 27, 2009
I'm so stupid sometimes...
Today, as we left for lunch, I announced that I am allergic to sourdough bread. And that is why I can't eat sandwiches from the deli near our office because my stomach literally blows up. Like I swallowed a balloon whole...and then I double over in pain, and you get the picture,
So, I went to a place for lunch, and as they handed me my tray with my salad, she dropped a bread roll on the plate...and without thinking I said, "I'm allergic to sourdough." The old bag behind the counter actually rolled her eyes at me, shrugged her shoulders while lifting her arms and said, "Honey, you're standing in a sourdough restaurant." OMG, I felt like such an asshole. I looked up to read the sign "The Original San Francisco Sourdough Bread".
Well, I don't care. I still said...give me a piece of Walnut bread. I eat her once a week and you always give me walnut bread, I just forgot to order it. And she wasn't going to do it. Until I gave her the "do I have to cut you bitch?" look. And she returned with 2 pieces. Crazy bi-atch.
happy weekend.
Coley
So, I went to a place for lunch, and as they handed me my tray with my salad, she dropped a bread roll on the plate...and without thinking I said, "I'm allergic to sourdough." The old bag behind the counter actually rolled her eyes at me, shrugged her shoulders while lifting her arms and said, "Honey, you're standing in a sourdough restaurant." OMG, I felt like such an asshole. I looked up to read the sign "The Original San Francisco Sourdough Bread".
Well, I don't care. I still said...give me a piece of Walnut bread. I eat her once a week and you always give me walnut bread, I just forgot to order it. And she wasn't going to do it. Until I gave her the "do I have to cut you bitch?" look. And she returned with 2 pieces. Crazy bi-atch.
happy weekend.
Coley
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Adam Lambert: Freddie Mercury and Adam Ant's Love Child
OH SNAP! I slept on it last night, and I figured it out. He reminds me so much of another recording artist, and I couldn't nail it. He's got the crazy high range of Adam Ant, and the power and outrageousness of Freddie Mercury. To this day, on my Itunes, Adam Ant has one song on my list, and I play it more than most songs...it's called Wonderful. "If I tell you you're wonderful, did I lie...lie lie la lie lie." I LOVE that song. I digress...back to Adam. Wow, that little Adam is a chameleon indeed. And yes, NJ Fan, he is a hottie. He's a card carrying member of the gay community. They don't toss those out to the "mirror-challenged", you know. Especially not in LA, where I hear tight packages below the belt are also a pre-requisite. Oh my...blushing.
Lots of emails in my box this morning about my post, the show, and Megan's boobs. General feeling is Scott or Michael are going home tonite, with the edge going to Megan due to aforementioned boobage.
I was so pissed off at the shenanigans of Pauler and Simon.
Those people deserved just as much serious critique as those earlier in the show, and they were clowning around when the last person was up there. (can't remember who it was, sadly) Anyway, I hope Simon drew his Paula-Abdoodle in Sharpie, is all I can say. That shit is hard to get off.Alright. Bye now.
ColeyB
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Yeah Motown....
For those of you not privileged enough to grow up with Motown and The Jackson 5, I'm sorry. "cuz tonite's my favorite music genre night. I love Motown. It's like the only music me and my husband both LOVE. Except Sting and Sade. Those are the only 2 artists we both love...and Motown.
Paula is wearing a TuTu tonite.
So, I told y'all last week that Matt Girard is my pick for the win this season. And he starts off first this evening. Not a good slot, but he'll be fine.
Smokey...giving Joan Rivers a run for her money in the plastic surgery department. OMG. He's speaking through his belly button.
Love Matt Girard's performance. He's really talented. Oh and he's getting up and gonna dance and perform. That's a JT move for sure.
Kris Allen...it's ok, but I think it's kind of a flat line. he's not entertaining. Can you imagine sitting and listening to him sing standing there for 2 hours at a concert with him singing into a microphone, not moving around much? Good voice, no entertainment factor.
Scott ....you know what? He's got to go. THis is boring. Very average.
Megan...for the first time, she sounds weird to me. Smokey hits it right...she is a cabaret jazz singer. Her dance moves??? Let's see. OMG, that outfit and that flower in her hair looks awful. I think this sucks. I feel like she's an old lady drunk on a cruise ship. She's like the weird housewife that thinks she hot...and not a cougar hot. Why the hell would they put those weird wood chunks on her neck? I hated it. Hated it. So sorry, but that sucked so bad. OMG, Randy agreed with me. Trainwreck.
Pauler....it's not a beauty contest. 3 strikes...and Simon is going to lower the boom. OMG, he's had 3 minutes to think about it.
Oh Dear dear dear...the bad news is it was horrible. Whoever is advising you, I'd fire. Aawwww....little Barbie got burned tonite. My husband says the blind dude should go before her.
Anoop singing Ooh Baby Baby. Anoop...my husband calls the sleeper cell of the competition... I agree. He hit a good note with Smokey.Wowowowowo. good control. He's holding back and he sounds a smooth as buddah. I'm impressed. I mean he isn't exactly the whole package. I mean, admit it...you can't stop thinking about Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. Admit it. (H&K Escape from Guantanamo Bay is better.) Kara is liking it, not gushing. Pauler is babbling. Simon...it was a great vocal, but felt he looked a little bit asleep. Lite on showmanship. Randy says, what I would do is turn it back up next week. Croon and swoon. Get the party on! Come on Kumar!!!!! Burn this mpther)(***(* down.
Matt Sarver..didn't get to go to Detroit. Dang that flu. Smokey came out to the house. House call Smokey. Matt is churchin' it up. Uh oh, Smokey doesn't think Matt is singing it hard enough. Pound it more. Mmm...first time Smokey wasn't thrilled. Matt, you can't take the high notes...your range ain't Kumar's that's for sure. I hate this karaoke at the church potluck supper performance...pass the fried chicken please.
When is someone going to sing Jackson 5? Dammit. Pauler busted on him with the Las Vegas loungy comments. She just repeats what Smokey said. Simon gives him the Obama "look"...you know how Obama says "look" before he says a tough statement. Blah blah Simon. Can we just click click ...now I'm in an argument with Greg about moving on. God, let's stop beating the damn dead horse. Gawd.
Next. Click Click. Please move on.
Who's next. Lil? She was crying down at Hitville. Oh, look they are talking about emotional Lil. Hubby is not happy. He hates this song. you know what? Lil is getting better and better each week. That hair is awesome. Oh, look, her hair grew 6 inches this week, OR she paid the wigsters a visit.
I think I'm having a seizure. The red lights, she swinging dress, the earrings, her bouncing, I'm fucking dizzy. It sounds great, but it's frantic. She has a great voice. I just hate this song. And I'm gonna have to find my migraine pills. Lord. Lord. Lord.
Hello? Randy felt it was rushed too. OMG, it was like she was running through hell wearing gasoline drawers. Simon...emotional...authentic tribute to sounds of Motown. Yep, it didn't give her a moment.
Look, when is Adam coming up? Oh, yeah! Tracks of my Tears. Great song. Love this song. Oh, Adam is going unplugged. Wow...he's smart. OMG, he's looking like Rick Nelson or Elvis. Oh, this guy is here to play. couldn't bear to lose the earrings, but I think he lost the black nail polish. Nice lip gloss. Nice peach shade. Wow, well, say what you will, but this dude has made vocal talent. Smokey gave him a standing o. OH my. And Berry. And Kara. One of the best performances of the night. Um, Kara, if you want to make a statement, say "THE best performance of the night". One of the best could have been said to probably 3 others tonite. OMG, Simon pulls it out. I swear I did not type that after Simon said it. I love when Simon and me are so sympatico. Emerged as a star. Yeah, he totally just made America forget about that Johnny Cash debacle. Whoever is advises him is brilliant.
Danny Gokey, loses the glasses. Hey, I think he got highlights. Seacrest says "let's see if he takes Smokey's advice on stage"...this tells me that Ryan saw rehearsal and Danny doesn't. Let's see. OMG, I was right. I bet he gets dinging for that...bet me. Why else would they focus on that.
Again, another rushed performance. Frantic. Thank God I took my nerve pills after Lil. This guy has performed the same thing for 4 weeks. sing, bounce, walk, sing. It's predictable. Simon said "clumsy and amateurish" Randy thought it was a dope voice. Good energy and feel. Kara liked the personalitiy. Huge Danny fan.
Oh we forgot Alison. Damn. Dayum. They hookered her up but goodl She reminds me of Brittany Murphy. SHE IS A BAD ASS. Holy Shit, she killed that song. KILLED it. WOW, I hate that song, and I loved that. BLAZING HOT. Kara said a bunch of great shit. Simon drew a mustache on Pauler. OMG so funny. Simon...you are a survivor...best performances ever.
Well, I hope it's Scott's last night on the show. I'm tired of worrying about him falling down anyway. That's not me being mean. I just have my own issues...not Scott.
Good show, good show. I'd like to thank my producers, the writers and my cats for bringing tonite's blog to you...a production of ColeyB Inc.
xoxo,
cb
Paula is wearing a TuTu tonite.
So, I told y'all last week that Matt Girard is my pick for the win this season. And he starts off first this evening. Not a good slot, but he'll be fine.
Smokey...giving Joan Rivers a run for her money in the plastic surgery department. OMG. He's speaking through his belly button.
Love Matt Girard's performance. He's really talented. Oh and he's getting up and gonna dance and perform. That's a JT move for sure.
Kris Allen...it's ok, but I think it's kind of a flat line. he's not entertaining. Can you imagine sitting and listening to him sing standing there for 2 hours at a concert with him singing into a microphone, not moving around much? Good voice, no entertainment factor.
Scott ....you know what? He's got to go. THis is boring. Very average.
Megan...for the first time, she sounds weird to me. Smokey hits it right...she is a cabaret jazz singer. Her dance moves??? Let's see. OMG, that outfit and that flower in her hair looks awful. I think this sucks. I feel like she's an old lady drunk on a cruise ship. She's like the weird housewife that thinks she hot...and not a cougar hot. Why the hell would they put those weird wood chunks on her neck? I hated it. Hated it. So sorry, but that sucked so bad. OMG, Randy agreed with me. Trainwreck.
Pauler....it's not a beauty contest. 3 strikes...and Simon is going to lower the boom. OMG, he's had 3 minutes to think about it.
Oh Dear dear dear...the bad news is it was horrible. Whoever is advising you, I'd fire. Aawwww....little Barbie got burned tonite. My husband says the blind dude should go before her.
Anoop singing Ooh Baby Baby. Anoop...my husband calls the sleeper cell of the competition... I agree. He hit a good note with Smokey.Wowowowowo. good control. He's holding back and he sounds a smooth as buddah. I'm impressed. I mean he isn't exactly the whole package. I mean, admit it...you can't stop thinking about Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. Admit it. (H&K Escape from Guantanamo Bay is better.) Kara is liking it, not gushing. Pauler is babbling. Simon...it was a great vocal, but felt he looked a little bit asleep. Lite on showmanship. Randy says, what I would do is turn it back up next week. Croon and swoon. Get the party on! Come on Kumar!!!!! Burn this mpther)(***(* down.
Matt Sarver..didn't get to go to Detroit. Dang that flu. Smokey came out to the house. House call Smokey. Matt is churchin' it up. Uh oh, Smokey doesn't think Matt is singing it hard enough. Pound it more. Mmm...first time Smokey wasn't thrilled. Matt, you can't take the high notes...your range ain't Kumar's that's for sure. I hate this karaoke at the church potluck supper performance...pass the fried chicken please.
When is someone going to sing Jackson 5? Dammit. Pauler busted on him with the Las Vegas loungy comments. She just repeats what Smokey said. Simon gives him the Obama "look"...you know how Obama says "look" before he says a tough statement. Blah blah Simon. Can we just click click ...now I'm in an argument with Greg about moving on. God, let's stop beating the damn dead horse. Gawd.
Next. Click Click. Please move on.
Who's next. Lil? She was crying down at Hitville. Oh, look they are talking about emotional Lil. Hubby is not happy. He hates this song. you know what? Lil is getting better and better each week. That hair is awesome. Oh, look, her hair grew 6 inches this week, OR she paid the wigsters a visit.
I think I'm having a seizure. The red lights, she swinging dress, the earrings, her bouncing, I'm fucking dizzy. It sounds great, but it's frantic. She has a great voice. I just hate this song. And I'm gonna have to find my migraine pills. Lord. Lord. Lord.
Hello? Randy felt it was rushed too. OMG, it was like she was running through hell wearing gasoline drawers. Simon...emotional...authentic tribute to sounds of Motown. Yep, it didn't give her a moment.
Look, when is Adam coming up? Oh, yeah! Tracks of my Tears. Great song. Love this song. Oh, Adam is going unplugged. Wow...he's smart. OMG, he's looking like Rick Nelson or Elvis. Oh, this guy is here to play. couldn't bear to lose the earrings, but I think he lost the black nail polish. Nice lip gloss. Nice peach shade. Wow, well, say what you will, but this dude has made vocal talent. Smokey gave him a standing o. OH my. And Berry. And Kara. One of the best performances of the night. Um, Kara, if you want to make a statement, say "THE best performance of the night". One of the best could have been said to probably 3 others tonite. OMG, Simon pulls it out. I swear I did not type that after Simon said it. I love when Simon and me are so sympatico. Emerged as a star. Yeah, he totally just made America forget about that Johnny Cash debacle. Whoever is advises him is brilliant.
Danny Gokey, loses the glasses. Hey, I think he got highlights. Seacrest says "let's see if he takes Smokey's advice on stage"...this tells me that Ryan saw rehearsal and Danny doesn't. Let's see. OMG, I was right. I bet he gets dinging for that...bet me. Why else would they focus on that.
Again, another rushed performance. Frantic. Thank God I took my nerve pills after Lil. This guy has performed the same thing for 4 weeks. sing, bounce, walk, sing. It's predictable. Simon said "clumsy and amateurish" Randy thought it was a dope voice. Good energy and feel. Kara liked the personalitiy. Huge Danny fan.
Oh we forgot Alison. Damn. Dayum. They hookered her up but goodl She reminds me of Brittany Murphy. SHE IS A BAD ASS. Holy Shit, she killed that song. KILLED it. WOW, I hate that song, and I loved that. BLAZING HOT. Kara said a bunch of great shit. Simon drew a mustache on Pauler. OMG so funny. Simon...you are a survivor...best performances ever.
Well, I hope it's Scott's last night on the show. I'm tired of worrying about him falling down anyway. That's not me being mean. I just have my own issues...not Scott.
Good show, good show. I'd like to thank my producers, the writers and my cats for bringing tonite's blog to you...a production of ColeyB Inc.
xoxo,
cb
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Perez Hilton Disses on David Cook
Just when I think Perez Hilton is a decent person, he called David Cook a Douche.
So, that rat ass Perez is grounded for a while...no visits from me and you know that's gonna hurt.
Why the rain on Cookie's Parade?
David took to his blog and was very nicely asking fans not to call the hotel, or bug him...or he would take security measures making the band less accessible. He wants to maintain a healthy relationship with the fans, and asks they do the same. It was as if Dr. Phil wrote the blog.
Very rational, very understanding, very upbeat...and now we know why Perez took issue with it.
Boo Perez.
Boooooooo!!!! (insert Randy Jackson's boo voice)
Have a great day! I'm having lunch with my friend Sheila today!!! And she works at a very famous place north of the Golden Gate bridge...a place known for taking millions of movie fans to Stars far away...I'm very excited!
xoxo,
ColeyB
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Kelly Clarkson on Oprah!
Did y'all see Kelly Clarkson on Oprah?
The funniest thing she told Oprah was that she was on "Ghetto Idol". She says, (in a I'm jealous tone...) those Idols now get a car...I never got a car! And Oprah says, "Well, you can buy your own car now..." And she said, yeah, I can buy what I want but still...they didn't do our makeup or clothing....whatever...". And she sounded bummed. ha ha.
What this tells me is that money has not changed her. She acts like she doesn't have any money. (warning catty comment coming up...shield your eyes and skip to next paragraph, if you are weak...) Kelly, girl...you know I love you but seriously, it's time to cut loose of some of that cash, and hire someone to do your hair and makeup. It's time for your bff from 7th grade to get promoted to something like tying your shoes and signing your name on photos for fan mail. You went on Oprah wearing a kelly green satin dress that was kind of 'not a pop star' outfit. Do you see Natasha Beddingfield wearing those clothes? Girl, you gots some string bean hair with roots. Atleast make some effort to look and dress like the chick on the cover of YOUR album. Yes, you are photoshopped, but it aint' that hard to bring to life, with the cash you must have. I love you girl.
Ok, so anyway, she's awesome.
Where is David Cook? Daughtry? Why do we not hear from them this season?
xoxo,
coleyb
The funniest thing she told Oprah was that she was on "Ghetto Idol". She says, (in a I'm jealous tone...) those Idols now get a car...I never got a car! And Oprah says, "Well, you can buy your own car now..." And she said, yeah, I can buy what I want but still...they didn't do our makeup or clothing....whatever...". And she sounded bummed. ha ha.
What this tells me is that money has not changed her. She acts like she doesn't have any money. (warning catty comment coming up...shield your eyes and skip to next paragraph, if you are weak...) Kelly, girl...you know I love you but seriously, it's time to cut loose of some of that cash, and hire someone to do your hair and makeup. It's time for your bff from 7th grade to get promoted to something like tying your shoes and signing your name on photos for fan mail. You went on Oprah wearing a kelly green satin dress that was kind of 'not a pop star' outfit. Do you see Natasha Beddingfield wearing those clothes? Girl, you gots some string bean hair with roots. Atleast make some effort to look and dress like the chick on the cover of YOUR album. Yes, you are photoshopped, but it aint' that hard to bring to life, with the cash you must have. I love you girl.
Ok, so anyway, she's awesome.
Where is David Cook? Daughtry? Why do we not hear from them this season?
xoxo,
coleyb
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Top 4 Idols in Album Sales
What is wrong with the pictures above?
They claim Gayken has sold more albums than Chris Daughtry! What?
Well, that's all for tonite...thanks for the article NJ Fan.
zzzzzzz..........
Hello Everyone!
Did you hear that Megan Joy Corkrey has decided to be known only as Megan Joy. Oooppsie. It seems she has a twin...famous for her role in Desperate Housewhores...suffice to say the porn industry is where she works.Well, I wondered when the scandals were going to hit the fan on Idol. I mean, really, there has to be something that one of those duffus's has done in their normal life that someone wants to blow up, right? Well, I didn't have to wonder for long. Funny, I always thought it would be Adam Lambert to do something, and yes, he seems to like kissing boys, but who doesn't these days? I can't believe I loved Adam Lambert so much at first. The Ring of Fire is going to be his Big Burn...he's going down down down.
Is anyone watching The Real Housewives of New York City? Those bitches are crazy...and they are so entertaining. I mean this reality show is sometimes too real. The editors of that show could teach the people at MTV who splice together THE CITY and The Hills (rest in peace, only one more season) a few lessons on creating drama. Those NYC hags are absolutely the most self involved vapid waste of botoxed skin I've ever seen. Countess DuLesseppes is a graveling voice lazy ass full of herself uppity bitch. I can't stand Ramona 'bug eyes' either. And Bethenny is just a therapists dream patient...no chance of ever being cured. It's the kids I feel sorry for.
Guess I'm going to sleep now. It's supposed to start raining, so I need to get in bed so the rain can lull me to sleep.
xoxo. zzzzzzzzzzzz.............
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Who's not on the tour....Our Top Ten are Fixed
Hey, I can't tell you how many people commented on the blog that Adam Lambert gave them the skeeves. Skeeves are little electrical jolts in your tummy that make your hair stand on end and you kind of wish you hadn't seen what you just saw.
In Ryan's opening he singles out some people to talk to...and I'm getting a vibe that Alexis and Michael are in the bottom. Giving them face time because they are toast. I really think Michael Sarver is outta here. He's headed back to McKenna and we aren't going to feel so bad about it, knowing daddy is going home...and then moving the family to Nashville, if he is smart.
So, who are my pick to depart tonite. I am thinking it's between Alison, Alexis and Michael Sarver. I'm thinking Alison is a gonner, but Michael could be toast. I split my points between them, so let's see how it goes.
So, I have to admit, I don't have the patience to watch the opening dance numbers...I hate them. And this one is no different. Also, I'm really creepy...I am so damn worried the blind guy will fall off the stage, I just want him gone to end my anxiety. Ok, he's in the top 10...dammit, that means if I go to the concert I'm gonna have to leave for the concession stand during his performance.
Michael and Allison are on the stage as bottom 3. It's down to Alexis or Adam for the final slot in bottom 3. I love they put freaky deeky in the bottom 3, just to sweat him out, and take some of the cock out of his rocks. OMG< Randy called Alexis Allison. How sad. Poor girl. You know, she actually looks like Dolly Parton tonite. Ryan is sending one person back to the couch. And it's Allison, who's safe.
Carrie cut her hair. WTF? OMG, she looks like Barbara Mandrell from the 70's. Somebody isn't likin' it. Oh, who are we kidding, I love her. LOVE her. LOVE LOVE LOVE her. Even with that stupid black silk flower in her hair. What? Seriously, it looks ridiculous. But I still think she is so amazingly talented, it's insane. Note, Carrie weighs more than Randy Travis.
Alright, Alexis is outta here. Will they save her? She has to sing for her salvation, with that crappy Jolene, man stealer song. Oh, the drama, cutting away to the huddled judges. It seems they think we are super stupid. We know they knew the results, and have this decision done. They are not good actors. Now, Alexis did not do herself any justice. I think it was rocky...but the song is sucky. I'm thinking she's toast, and they should save the bullet for Danny Gokey.
Simon lands the blow. Nope, I wouldn't have saved her either. What a lovely girl.
Next week it's MOTOWN WEEK.
DO YOU LIKE MY NEW HEADING TO THE BLOG? hee hee hee
You know why I did it? Because I could.
In Ryan's opening he singles out some people to talk to...and I'm getting a vibe that Alexis and Michael are in the bottom. Giving them face time because they are toast. I really think Michael Sarver is outta here. He's headed back to McKenna and we aren't going to feel so bad about it, knowing daddy is going home...and then moving the family to Nashville, if he is smart.
So, who are my pick to depart tonite. I am thinking it's between Alison, Alexis and Michael Sarver. I'm thinking Alison is a gonner, but Michael could be toast. I split my points between them, so let's see how it goes.
So, I have to admit, I don't have the patience to watch the opening dance numbers...I hate them. And this one is no different. Also, I'm really creepy...I am so damn worried the blind guy will fall off the stage, I just want him gone to end my anxiety. Ok, he's in the top 10...dammit, that means if I go to the concert I'm gonna have to leave for the concession stand during his performance.
Michael and Allison are on the stage as bottom 3. It's down to Alexis or Adam for the final slot in bottom 3. I love they put freaky deeky in the bottom 3, just to sweat him out, and take some of the cock out of his rocks. OMG< Randy called Alexis Allison. How sad. Poor girl. You know, she actually looks like Dolly Parton tonite. Ryan is sending one person back to the couch. And it's Allison, who's safe.
Carrie cut her hair. WTF? OMG, she looks like Barbara Mandrell from the 70's. Somebody isn't likin' it. Oh, who are we kidding, I love her. LOVE her. LOVE LOVE LOVE her. Even with that stupid black silk flower in her hair. What? Seriously, it looks ridiculous. But I still think she is so amazingly talented, it's insane. Note, Carrie weighs more than Randy Travis.
Alright, Alexis is outta here. Will they save her? She has to sing for her salvation, with that crappy Jolene, man stealer song. Oh, the drama, cutting away to the huddled judges. It seems they think we are super stupid. We know they knew the results, and have this decision done. They are not good actors. Now, Alexis did not do herself any justice. I think it was rocky...but the song is sucky. I'm thinking she's toast, and they should save the bullet for Danny Gokey.
Simon lands the blow. Nope, I wouldn't have saved her either. What a lovely girl.
Next week it's MOTOWN WEEK.
DO YOU LIKE MY NEW HEADING TO THE BLOG? hee hee hee
You know why I did it? Because I could.
My New Blog Name
After much market research, conducted by my chief statistician, Christopher R. Obbin, we have renamed the blog. Consumers demanded this headline. I feel I must make my people happy.
Cole
Cole
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Tuesday Night at the Grand Ole Opry
Well, if that wasn't worth the two hours sitting on your butt, I don't know what is! Whooo. I am plumb tuckered out after that. I even type with a twang after that show.
So, let's just get it out of the way...ADAM LAMBERT IS F*&^%^%G CREEPY. I'm sorry, but he makes me think I am watching a gay man work the stripper pole. Men rubbing their hands up their thighs and pushing their tshirts up belong in porn, not on American Idol. I don't know, I feel like I am watching a cross between the cast of TOMMY, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoats, and Night of a 1000 Queens in the Castro (predominantly gay district, home of Harvey Milk, in SF, for those not from out here)
Anyway...most of these performers are better to listen to with your eyes shut. The voice doesn't match the face. Anoop...his name doesn't match his voice and voice doesn't look like it comes from his skinny little soul. He was great tonite. But honestly, do we really see the morning DJs saying "ok and here's the new one off Anoop's new album...blah blah blah". I mean, yes, we have Snoop Dogg, T-Pain, and TI, but those all seem to fit in one area where the weirder the name the better. I don't see Anoop opening for Justin Timberlake, or Timberfake.
I'm too tired to run the gambit of these peeps tonite. All I can say is Megan has HUGE boobs, and my husband was extremely irritated when the phone number popped up, just as they were zooming in on said boobage. Does this show have censors? Pole dancers and boobs tonite.
Okey Dokey Gokey was awesome, singing my favorite Carrie Underwood song. Love him, love her. LoveFest.
Tomorrow night is my girl Carrie!!!!
I leave you with one last comment...actually meant for Randy Travis, which is this....
Randy Travis, eat a sandwich or something before you blow away in the next gust of wind. Jeeez.
Here's a picture, back in the day, when his arm's were bigger than Carrie Underwood's.
xoxo,
ColeyB
So, let's just get it out of the way...ADAM LAMBERT IS F*&^%^%G CREEPY. I'm sorry, but he makes me think I am watching a gay man work the stripper pole. Men rubbing their hands up their thighs and pushing their tshirts up belong in porn, not on American Idol. I don't know, I feel like I am watching a cross between the cast of TOMMY, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoats, and Night of a 1000 Queens in the Castro (predominantly gay district, home of Harvey Milk, in SF, for those not from out here)
Anyway...most of these performers are better to listen to with your eyes shut. The voice doesn't match the face. Anoop...his name doesn't match his voice and voice doesn't look like it comes from his skinny little soul. He was great tonite. But honestly, do we really see the morning DJs saying "ok and here's the new one off Anoop's new album...blah blah blah". I mean, yes, we have Snoop Dogg, T-Pain, and TI, but those all seem to fit in one area where the weirder the name the better. I don't see Anoop opening for Justin Timberlake, or Timberfake.
I'm too tired to run the gambit of these peeps tonite. All I can say is Megan has HUGE boobs, and my husband was extremely irritated when the phone number popped up, just as they were zooming in on said boobage. Does this show have censors? Pole dancers and boobs tonite.
Okey Dokey Gokey was awesome, singing my favorite Carrie Underwood song. Love him, love her. LoveFest.
Tomorrow night is my girl Carrie!!!!
I leave you with one last comment...actually meant for Randy Travis, which is this....
Randy Travis, eat a sandwich or something before you blow away in the next gust of wind. Jeeez.
Here's a picture, back in the day, when his arm's were bigger than Carrie Underwood's.
xoxo,
ColeyB
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Our first Double Elimination Beat Down
Ok, peeps, the new rule is that 2 peeps are getting eliminated, but the judges can save yo' ass, one time and one time only for the whole competition. And it has to be unanimous. So, to save Jasmine, that would have to have been a uni vote and that would be the last time she could be safe.
I knew this was coming soon enough. That loss of Chris Daughtry is still stinging (in everyone's eyes but Chris Daughtry's of course, cause he laughed all the way to the bank...)
So, we see the fat ass mansion. I was cracking up when someone said their whole house would fit in the bathroom. Hilarious. This is the American Idol of the po folks.
So, we see the freaking Ford video...who knew they could still afford American Idol, with the bailout and all!!!
Let's get to the good stuff...
Michael Sarver is safe...Alison is safe. Ok, the internet buzz was not so good on Alison, including NJ Fan, and she's in. So, they put through Justin Timbermatt, and they bring little Jasmine down with Megan. They give Megan a trip back to the couch. Jasmine is headed home...no silver bullet of safety for her. That's sad. I really, really liked her. Seacrest is saying "we love you baby, we really loved having you, you are a tremendous talent."
Cue Carrie Underwood..."You know you I'm a dreamer and my hearts of gold"...
Little Jasmine...tiny Beyonce' wannabe...I hope this isn't the last we see of you. So cute, little dollface. Sad. My husbands trying to console me saying "Welp, they are all good, and someone's gotta go..."
KANYE WEST...I guess they will use his music somewhere this season...Heartless...let's see how it goes. Does he have on his window shade glasses? Let's do a crouch grab countdown.
1, 2, 3...yep, still there...I wonder how he feels it with those biker gloves on...oops there's a grab...5, what's that rag hanging out his pants? His costume looks like he is pretending he just came in from the driveway, working on his motorcycle..grease rag in back pocket... oops 6, 7. Hey, did pauler grab him? Oh, I think she was just stuffing her phone number in his pocket. He's on his knees, I think he grabbed one time too many...looks in pain. That was aiiright...whatevs.
Alexis is safe. Now we got Gokey...Ryan called him Gokey. Danny's family must be optomistrists. He has 1,000 sets of these glasses. Here's Anoop Dogg... and he does the death march to center stage.
Adam Lambert is safe...not a shocker. the boy has some nice teeth.
Jorge, to the center stage you go. PUHleeze. go go go. center stage... oh dammit, they call out Lil. This jumble down is bugging me. Yeah...Jorge goes to cs and Lil is safe. Listen people. I put all fucking 20 points on Jorge tonite in the office pool. dammit. I'm in 4th place and I had to shoot for the moon. Actually, there are only 6 of us playing.
KELLY KELLY KELLY KELLY. WHOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!
omg I love her. om om om gaaawwwdddd.
Ok, so Jorge and Anoop. everybody together....Jorge Jorge Jorge...momma needs her fricking 20 points to blow Anthony's ass off the top of the pool...and cute little Chris. Sorry...Jorge's OFF! whoo hoo. OMG, I just yelled loud enough for my cat to fly out of the room. No wonder they won't let me hold them...never know when momma's gonna pop off watching her Idol show.
Jorge is singing and he's gonna cry. Those Latinos are sensitive people.
Alright, let's just clarify. It's ONE person, ONE time, the whole season. And no silver bullet for Jorge.
Sing it Carrie...while momma switches over to her idol pool results and basks in the glory of her name at the top! hee hee
coleyb
Editor's Note: ColeyB is still one point behind cute little Chris. Who has a cold right now. Poor baby. We had ice cream at work today and he wouldn't even eat it. And he eats anything and everything. Feel better soon Chris!
I knew this was coming soon enough. That loss of Chris Daughtry is still stinging (in everyone's eyes but Chris Daughtry's of course, cause he laughed all the way to the bank...)
So, we see the fat ass mansion. I was cracking up when someone said their whole house would fit in the bathroom. Hilarious. This is the American Idol of the po folks.
So, we see the freaking Ford video...who knew they could still afford American Idol, with the bailout and all!!!
Let's get to the good stuff...
Michael Sarver is safe...Alison is safe. Ok, the internet buzz was not so good on Alison, including NJ Fan, and she's in. So, they put through Justin Timbermatt, and they bring little Jasmine down with Megan. They give Megan a trip back to the couch. Jasmine is headed home...no silver bullet of safety for her. That's sad. I really, really liked her. Seacrest is saying "we love you baby, we really loved having you, you are a tremendous talent."
Cue Carrie Underwood..."You know you I'm a dreamer and my hearts of gold"...
Little Jasmine...tiny Beyonce' wannabe...I hope this isn't the last we see of you. So cute, little dollface. Sad. My husbands trying to console me saying "Welp, they are all good, and someone's gotta go..."
KANYE WEST...I guess they will use his music somewhere this season...Heartless...let's see how it goes. Does he have on his window shade glasses? Let's do a crouch grab countdown.
1, 2, 3...yep, still there...I wonder how he feels it with those biker gloves on...oops there's a grab...5, what's that rag hanging out his pants? His costume looks like he is pretending he just came in from the driveway, working on his motorcycle..grease rag in back pocket... oops 6, 7. Hey, did pauler grab him? Oh, I think she was just stuffing her phone number in his pocket. He's on his knees, I think he grabbed one time too many...looks in pain. That was aiiright...whatevs.
Alexis is safe. Now we got Gokey...Ryan called him Gokey. Danny's family must be optomistrists. He has 1,000 sets of these glasses. Here's Anoop Dogg... and he does the death march to center stage.
Adam Lambert is safe...not a shocker. the boy has some nice teeth.
Jorge, to the center stage you go. PUHleeze. go go go. center stage... oh dammit, they call out Lil. This jumble down is bugging me. Yeah...Jorge goes to cs and Lil is safe. Listen people. I put all fucking 20 points on Jorge tonite in the office pool. dammit. I'm in 4th place and I had to shoot for the moon. Actually, there are only 6 of us playing.
KELLY KELLY KELLY KELLY. WHOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!
omg I love her. om om om gaaawwwdddd.
Ok, so Jorge and Anoop. everybody together....Jorge Jorge Jorge...momma needs her fricking 20 points to blow Anthony's ass off the top of the pool...and cute little Chris. Sorry...Jorge's OFF! whoo hoo. OMG, I just yelled loud enough for my cat to fly out of the room. No wonder they won't let me hold them...never know when momma's gonna pop off watching her Idol show.
Jorge is singing and he's gonna cry. Those Latinos are sensitive people.
Alright, let's just clarify. It's ONE person, ONE time, the whole season. And no silver bullet for Jorge.
Sing it Carrie...while momma switches over to her idol pool results and basks in the glory of her name at the top! hee hee
coleyb
Editor's Note: ColeyB is still one point behind cute little Chris. Who has a cold right now. Poor baby. We had ice cream at work today and he wouldn't even eat it. And he eats anything and everything. Feel better soon Chris!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Here we go peeps
My belly is full of Fish Tacos and I'm ready for some yummy tv.
OH, the judges are coming out like beauty contestants. Well isn't that special.
And Lil Rounds and her bootilicious self is up first. That didn't really do it for me. To be honest it fell flat!
Ok, Scott is a great pianist, but really it fell flat.
Hubby says Pauler over did it with the hoochy glitter tonite. Also, she needs to shut the fuck up. Stop bugging Simon. Please move her next to Randy for our own sake.
Danny Gokey...he's my favorite now since Adam Lambart fell apart for me. Hey this song was rocket hot. PYT, pretty young thang. Dang when Michael J was straight he wrote some good shit. Back to Idol... Robert Downey Jr. really brought his A-game tonite. Mad props for RDJ.
Now we go from RDJ to Michael Sarver, who's mom must be a former beauty queen because she is still wearing her tiny crown, which must have been big when she won it at age 5. I'm terrible. "You are not Alone"...hey, he has some purdy pearly white teeth. Look, Michael needs to get his butt over to Nashville...he'd be a great country singer. He's cuter than Toby Keith. Or they lead singer of Rascal Flatts. Hey, he's doing a great job. He's Dale Earnhardt Jr's older bro.
Pauler is bugging the shit out of me. WHAT IS HANGING OFF HER WRIST? IT'S a diamond luggage tag. I mean, we already think she's an old bag, does she need to where a label? Or perhaps, it's her home address for when they find her stumbling the streets, she gets returned home safely. ha ha. Probably says something like 'do not use near open flame'. ha ha I'm killing myself. You know they put some cute clothes on that girl. She's so hip and relevant. Move over Moesha/Saquisha/Mileyesha/Chaneequa...she is awesome. Those pussycat girls or whoever those Cheeta girls or whoever??? She's so much better than the other teen girls. Great stage presence is right, unlike someone else we know...who? Oh, here's Pauler, speak of the devil. I like Pauler's gold eyelids, I will say that.
Look...I hate the new stage. The camera angles suck and the editing is choppy. Moves from one camera to the next are fast and whacked.
Kris Allen and his guitar. Oh, this is probably one of MY FAVORITE MJ songs. I love love this song. I'm going to dig out my MJ tapes. OMG, did I really type that? It just occurred to me I owned most of this shit on Vinyl. I don't own a MJ cd or an Itunes download. He sucks so I'm going to tell you a funny story now. I went to college with a girl that declared it "Black Man Music Week" at her apartment and she hung all the albums to be played that week on the wall. No white music. And the playlist was Michael Jackson, Lionel Ritchie, Luther Vandross, Marvin Gaye, Boys II Men...it was so funny. And we went and saw the Commodores perform that year.
OMG Pauler shut the hell up, why do they have to rob everyone's time on stage with their antics? I'm writing Idol about this.
The wife did not think it was funny for Simon to hide her. haha
Alison...what the hell was that song. Miguel Jackson??? OMG, she was insanely good. Her voice, her stage presence...where does she get that shit from? She's crazy good. Pauler is giving the ZIP IT sign. OMG. That Kara is so good. I like her.
So far...I'd say Alison has been the best of the night, followed by Downey Jr.
Anoop its a bit karaoke for me. He's a cutie though. It's picking up. Let's say Karaoke Night Championship Winner...but Karaoke just the same.
What the hell is wrong with her....although she had the karaoke right. Simon thought it was hawribull. And stewpid. Hey Simon, you know what karaoke is..people trying to be like the real star, and pretending to be someone else. I like his sourthern y'all dr'all.
He its Ryan's mom and aunt.
Ok, here we are with Sanjaya Part II. He's better but he's still crazy not ready for this. I love this song...Jackson 5. you know those Jonas brothers think they got it going on...well they got nothing on the J5. This song was right by ABC 123 on the album. That was pretty good, amigo. Hey, he's pretty good, but he's a little softish. I still liked it more than Randy or Kara did. Kara needs a Konnection. Kara Konnection is Krazy with her vibe-in. Me and my hub disagreed with the panel. Scott mcIntyre was worse.
Oh Megan is my hubs favorite. Hey, no one has gotten a makeover faster than this girl. Extreme Makeover TY looks like he's working on Idol's show now. OMG< they overdid those hair extensions I think. She's hot though. That tattoo is like a big grey splotch. What the hell is it? The side of a building? Is it the batcave? Is it the Roman Coliseum? Yankee Stadium? What is it? I won't rest until I know. I agree with Simon, I told Greg I hated that song choice, and Greg didn't agree. Well Simon does.
Alright Jason Bateman is up...Jason, how do you keep that hair sticking next to your cheek like that? Is it glued to your cheek? Have you heard of the Lambeau leap? Well we have the Lambert scream. He has to throw that that long screech in every song. I thought it was good in parts. He's pretty rad. I liked it, mostly. He's kind of hot, I can't deny. Pauler got an eyelift. I swear it. Pauler has that luggage tag swinging tonite in this review.
Simon, gives him the total different league props.
I swear to God they could make a SNL skit with Kara. You hit notes I didn't know existed. ha ha. What's a herky?
Matt Girard sings Human Nature. I like that performance. He's got some Justin Timberlake moves going on. I really liked that alot. He was terrific. Very smooth. Hey Randy, stop cheating off my paper. Solid as a rock, or meat and potatoes, if you will.
Alexis the fireball Grace...if she's singing Dirty Diana, did they really have to dress her like a tramp? Huh? OMG, she was awesome though. It was great. Simon, what the hell. The show is running long and she got cut off.
Judges throwing the rules tomorrow night. They are having NO MORE Sanjaya's coming into the show any more.
I'm beat people. I hope you go your fill of me tonite. It was a pretty good show. I saw Michael Jackson in concert when he toured Thriller. And I can honestly say it was so memorable. Right there in Texas Stadium, home of the Dallas Cowboys. Also happens to be the place I saw Madonna perform for the very first time. I saw her 3 times. Janet Jackson, Rhythm Nation was awesome too, and sadly I never caught a LaToya concert.
xoxo,
ColeyBeat
OH, the judges are coming out like beauty contestants. Well isn't that special.
And Lil Rounds and her bootilicious self is up first. That didn't really do it for me. To be honest it fell flat!
Ok, Scott is a great pianist, but really it fell flat.
Hubby says Pauler over did it with the hoochy glitter tonite. Also, she needs to shut the fuck up. Stop bugging Simon. Please move her next to Randy for our own sake.
Danny Gokey...he's my favorite now since Adam Lambart fell apart for me. Hey this song was rocket hot. PYT, pretty young thang. Dang when Michael J was straight he wrote some good shit. Back to Idol... Robert Downey Jr. really brought his A-game tonite. Mad props for RDJ.
Now we go from RDJ to Michael Sarver, who's mom must be a former beauty queen because she is still wearing her tiny crown, which must have been big when she won it at age 5. I'm terrible. "You are not Alone"...hey, he has some purdy pearly white teeth. Look, Michael needs to get his butt over to Nashville...he'd be a great country singer. He's cuter than Toby Keith. Or they lead singer of Rascal Flatts. Hey, he's doing a great job. He's Dale Earnhardt Jr's older bro.
Pauler is bugging the shit out of me. WHAT IS HANGING OFF HER WRIST? IT'S a diamond luggage tag. I mean, we already think she's an old bag, does she need to where a label? Or perhaps, it's her home address for when they find her stumbling the streets, she gets returned home safely. ha ha. Probably says something like 'do not use near open flame'. ha ha I'm killing myself. You know they put some cute clothes on that girl. She's so hip and relevant. Move over Moesha/Saquisha/Mileyesha/Chaneequa...she is awesome. Those pussycat girls or whoever those Cheeta girls or whoever??? She's so much better than the other teen girls. Great stage presence is right, unlike someone else we know...who? Oh, here's Pauler, speak of the devil. I like Pauler's gold eyelids, I will say that.
Look...I hate the new stage. The camera angles suck and the editing is choppy. Moves from one camera to the next are fast and whacked.
Kris Allen and his guitar. Oh, this is probably one of MY FAVORITE MJ songs. I love love this song. I'm going to dig out my MJ tapes. OMG, did I really type that? It just occurred to me I owned most of this shit on Vinyl. I don't own a MJ cd or an Itunes download. He sucks so I'm going to tell you a funny story now. I went to college with a girl that declared it "Black Man Music Week" at her apartment and she hung all the albums to be played that week on the wall. No white music. And the playlist was Michael Jackson, Lionel Ritchie, Luther Vandross, Marvin Gaye, Boys II Men...it was so funny. And we went and saw the Commodores perform that year.
OMG Pauler shut the hell up, why do they have to rob everyone's time on stage with their antics? I'm writing Idol about this.
The wife did not think it was funny for Simon to hide her. haha
Alison...what the hell was that song. Miguel Jackson??? OMG, she was insanely good. Her voice, her stage presence...where does she get that shit from? She's crazy good. Pauler is giving the ZIP IT sign. OMG. That Kara is so good. I like her.
So far...I'd say Alison has been the best of the night, followed by Downey Jr.
Anoop its a bit karaoke for me. He's a cutie though. It's picking up. Let's say Karaoke Night Championship Winner...but Karaoke just the same.
What the hell is wrong with her....although she had the karaoke right. Simon thought it was hawribull. And stewpid. Hey Simon, you know what karaoke is..people trying to be like the real star, and pretending to be someone else. I like his sourthern y'all dr'all.
He its Ryan's mom and aunt.
Ok, here we are with Sanjaya Part II. He's better but he's still crazy not ready for this. I love this song...Jackson 5. you know those Jonas brothers think they got it going on...well they got nothing on the J5. This song was right by ABC 123 on the album. That was pretty good, amigo. Hey, he's pretty good, but he's a little softish. I still liked it more than Randy or Kara did. Kara needs a Konnection. Kara Konnection is Krazy with her vibe-in. Me and my hub disagreed with the panel. Scott mcIntyre was worse.
Oh Megan is my hubs favorite. Hey, no one has gotten a makeover faster than this girl. Extreme Makeover TY looks like he's working on Idol's show now. OMG< they overdid those hair extensions I think. She's hot though. That tattoo is like a big grey splotch. What the hell is it? The side of a building? Is it the batcave? Is it the Roman Coliseum? Yankee Stadium? What is it? I won't rest until I know. I agree with Simon, I told Greg I hated that song choice, and Greg didn't agree. Well Simon does.
Alright Jason Bateman is up...Jason, how do you keep that hair sticking next to your cheek like that? Is it glued to your cheek? Have you heard of the Lambeau leap? Well we have the Lambert scream. He has to throw that that long screech in every song. I thought it was good in parts. He's pretty rad. I liked it, mostly. He's kind of hot, I can't deny. Pauler got an eyelift. I swear it. Pauler has that luggage tag swinging tonite in this review.
Simon, gives him the total different league props.
I swear to God they could make a SNL skit with Kara. You hit notes I didn't know existed. ha ha. What's a herky?
Matt Girard sings Human Nature. I like that performance. He's got some Justin Timberlake moves going on. I really liked that alot. He was terrific. Very smooth. Hey Randy, stop cheating off my paper. Solid as a rock, or meat and potatoes, if you will.
Alexis the fireball Grace...if she's singing Dirty Diana, did they really have to dress her like a tramp? Huh? OMG, she was awesome though. It was great. Simon, what the hell. The show is running long and she got cut off.
Judges throwing the rules tomorrow night. They are having NO MORE Sanjaya's coming into the show any more.
I'm beat people. I hope you go your fill of me tonite. It was a pretty good show. I saw Michael Jackson in concert when he toured Thriller. And I can honestly say it was so memorable. Right there in Texas Stadium, home of the Dallas Cowboys. Also happens to be the place I saw Madonna perform for the very first time. I saw her 3 times. Janet Jackson, Rhythm Nation was awesome too, and sadly I never caught a LaToya concert.
xoxo,
ColeyBeat
BUY IT NOW PEOPLE....
Chills people. Chills. This girl is amazing.
This is the song for the sing out each week as the losers get the boot....last year it was Chris Daughtry "HOME", and we all remember the "So you Had a Bad Day" Daniel Powter era.
Carrie Underwood singing "Home Sweet Home" from Motley Crue!!! Holey shitoly. It's amazing. Country Rock...Okay I'm just giddy. I'm writing this as I sit in my cube with headphones on and it's all I can do not to sing outloud HOME SWEET HOOOOOMMMME. HOME SUHWEEET HOOOOME.
She kills it. KILLS IT PEOPLE.
99 cent on Itunes and you can own a piece of this excellence.
Don't hesitate, buy it now. Before it's sold out! By the way, proceeds benefit the Humane Society,
Why?
Because Carrie Underwood is a freaking angel sent directly from Heaven on the express train.
Careful Dialing for Anoop tonite Kiddies
Seems the number for Idols 13 is a sex line. ha. so Anoop will get a special one-time only phone number tonite. Yikers.
They weren't kidding when they said he was last minute. They didn't check the number.
Hello?
See you tonite.
Cole
New Music Tuesday: Kelly Clarkson
Downloading now.
AND SHE PERFORMS ON MARCH 11 WEDNESDAY'S SHOW!!!!!!!
Initial thoughts. Jury still out. I fear I am still not finding the follow up album of Breakaway. I hope it grows on me. Lots of weird ass shit, mixed in with ballads. Techno pop, rock, and ballads with strings and piano. Dyslexic at best.
A good song called Save You, that I love. I No One Will Listen is beautiful. These 2 songs really show off her vocal talents...like a good Whitney or Mariah song.
More later.
ColeyB
AND SHE PERFORMS ON MARCH 11 WEDNESDAY'S SHOW!!!!!!!
Friday, March 6, 2009
Top 12, plus one Anoop for good measure
Well, here they are. And Miley Cyrus has already told Allison she can go on tour with her. ha!
Ellen is on the Jorge bandwagon, as are Mr. and Mrs. Jennifer Lopez Anthony.
So, I'm pretty happy with the batch. Hard for me to pick a front runner now, as the idol weeks can make or break you, as we all know too well.
I love Danny Gokey, but I'm afraid the core voting audience will get behind he youth movement. Right now, just guesstimating, here's my preliminary take on the finish line. I do wish for an Alexis Grace and Meghan sing off in the finals. That would be my favorite final. Seriously.
- Meghan
- Adam
- Gokey
- Alexis Grace
- Lil Rounds
- Alison
- Jorge
- Anoop
- Jasmine
- Scott
- Matt Girard
- Kris Allen
- Matt Sarver
It's going to be a tough competition this year. I really do think we have some good peeps in here. I will go on record saying the top 2 will have successful first albums.
xoxo,
Coleyb
Thursday, March 5, 2009
It's gonna be a Wild One tonite!
I mean, we have Tatiannoying, so it ought to be fun. She's in sequins, as if she needed to call attention to herself.
Betty David Brows is first. She bugs. Singing Tell Me Something Good. I see alot of Diane Sawyer in her, for some reason. And she's showing some leg tonite. Listen, this song does not show her vocals. They will blast her on this shit. It was a bad lounge act. Nope, not doing it for me.
Randy: Props for a song choice. What? Kara likes her swagger. Kara likes performances, and doesn't really care so much about the same things. Pauler, channeling a pink pussycat leapardess (translate crap outfit). Simon is actually being nice.
HEY, WE AREN'T VOTING..THE JUDGES ARE. Wow. How did I miss that deet?
Matt Girard - I really like this guy. I see Justin Timberlake in him. You know, there are 3 guys that look all the same in this final 12. So, I think he is the best of the 3, actually. I would pass out if I was singing with that giant scarf around my neck under those lights. He's a little overstylized for me. A little 'matchy-matchy' as Whitney would say on The City. I liked him. Simon will dig him for indulgence, watch him. Pauler, will tell Simon to shut up again...here it comes. Simon says it was a billion times better...ha, he hates the matchy matchyness too. Oh shit, they are digging on a past Idol...Taylor Hicks. Wow. That's some rude shit. ha ha.
Meghan and Von are next. And Meghan WILL make it through. KT Tunstall song. Yes, good choice. OMG look at that hair. OMG, she still doing that fucked up twisty move dancing. Next stop for her is Dancing with the Stars..NOT. What is that twisty move. I'm calling her Twister. Quirky, current, original. Not the best vocal. Good song choice. And Kara gives her mad props as well. Now, they are making it obvious that she will in the Top 12 and she deserves it. She looks like a zillion bucks (cuz a million ain't worth shit anymore) Look at what she looked like in original auditions!!!
Von...rough start. Elton John. Simon says he is boring and serious. Paula looks like a she has just come from auditions to Bravo's "The Real Housewives of Desperate Acres Trailer Park"
Jasmine Murray singing Christina Aguilera. This is the perfect song for her. We need another sister in the competition. I like her alot. I hope she makes it. Think about it, who really deserves it more...her or Tati-annoying? Definitely her. And she has a beautiful dress on tonite. So cute. What a cutie pie! She's a little Baby Beyonce. Kara's all confused. She looks off tonite. Why is Pauler giving him an Indian burn? Pauler, this show is about the contestants, and all the attention does not need to be on you.
Ok, Ricky Braddy...this guy is one of the 3 guys that look alike. Von, Matt and Ricky.
BlahBlahBlah. The rest of them are bugging me. Oh, here's Tatiannoying. Hey, hasn't she sung this already? Of course the Diva picks a Diva. Whatever. She's psychotic.
Snoop Anoop. I like him, but I'm gonna get tired of him. He kind of looks 12. Bobby Brown. Well it's family night tonite. Whitney and Bobby Brown. Hm. Ok, let's get on with it. He's pretty cute. In a Slumdog Millionaire kinda way.
Jasmine's IN. YEAH. That's a good one. Next it better be Meghan and after that I don't care. Matt Girard I would say.
OMG, Meghan is in. whoop! yippy skippy. alright, something's not right. TIVO says I have only 1 minute left. Yep, just as I suspected, I am not going to see the end of the show. Gotta go onto internet to find who is the 3rd or #12 in the Top 12.
Be right back. Surfin'....talk amongst yourselves....or hum the jeapardy song.
WOW, it's Top 13. unlucky. But ok. So, I did pretty good. All the 4 I wanted made it.
I'm tired now. That's enough. 3 nights of Idol in a row is just too much for me.
xoxo
ColeyB
Betty David Brows is first. She bugs. Singing Tell Me Something Good. I see alot of Diane Sawyer in her, for some reason. And she's showing some leg tonite. Listen, this song does not show her vocals. They will blast her on this shit. It was a bad lounge act. Nope, not doing it for me.
Randy: Props for a song choice. What? Kara likes her swagger. Kara likes performances, and doesn't really care so much about the same things. Pauler, channeling a pink pussycat leapardess (translate crap outfit). Simon is actually being nice.
HEY, WE AREN'T VOTING..THE JUDGES ARE. Wow. How did I miss that deet?
Matt Girard - I really like this guy. I see Justin Timberlake in him. You know, there are 3 guys that look all the same in this final 12. So, I think he is the best of the 3, actually. I would pass out if I was singing with that giant scarf around my neck under those lights. He's a little overstylized for me. A little 'matchy-matchy' as Whitney would say on The City. I liked him. Simon will dig him for indulgence, watch him. Pauler, will tell Simon to shut up again...here it comes. Simon says it was a billion times better...ha, he hates the matchy matchyness too. Oh shit, they are digging on a past Idol...Taylor Hicks. Wow. That's some rude shit. ha ha.
Meghan and Von are next. And Meghan WILL make it through. KT Tunstall song. Yes, good choice. OMG look at that hair. OMG, she still doing that fucked up twisty move dancing. Next stop for her is Dancing with the Stars..NOT. What is that twisty move. I'm calling her Twister. Quirky, current, original. Not the best vocal. Good song choice. And Kara gives her mad props as well. Now, they are making it obvious that she will in the Top 12 and she deserves it. She looks like a zillion bucks (cuz a million ain't worth shit anymore) Look at what she looked like in original auditions!!!
Von...rough start. Elton John. Simon says he is boring and serious. Paula looks like a she has just come from auditions to Bravo's "The Real Housewives of Desperate Acres Trailer Park"
Jasmine Murray singing Christina Aguilera. This is the perfect song for her. We need another sister in the competition. I like her alot. I hope she makes it. Think about it, who really deserves it more...her or Tati-annoying? Definitely her. And she has a beautiful dress on tonite. So cute. What a cutie pie! She's a little Baby Beyonce. Kara's all confused. She looks off tonite. Why is Pauler giving him an Indian burn? Pauler, this show is about the contestants, and all the attention does not need to be on you.
Ok, Ricky Braddy...this guy is one of the 3 guys that look alike. Von, Matt and Ricky.
BlahBlahBlah. The rest of them are bugging me. Oh, here's Tatiannoying. Hey, hasn't she sung this already? Of course the Diva picks a Diva. Whatever. She's psychotic.
Snoop Anoop. I like him, but I'm gonna get tired of him. He kind of looks 12. Bobby Brown. Well it's family night tonite. Whitney and Bobby Brown. Hm. Ok, let's get on with it. He's pretty cute. In a Slumdog Millionaire kinda way.
Jasmine's IN. YEAH. That's a good one. Next it better be Meghan and after that I don't care. Matt Girard I would say.
OMG, Meghan is in. whoop! yippy skippy. alright, something's not right. TIVO says I have only 1 minute left. Yep, just as I suspected, I am not going to see the end of the show. Gotta go onto internet to find who is the 3rd or #12 in the Top 12.
Be right back. Surfin'....talk amongst yourselves....or hum the jeapardy song.
WOW, it's Top 13. unlucky. But ok. So, I did pretty good. All the 4 I wanted made it.
I'm tired now. That's enough. 3 nights of Idol in a row is just too much for me.
xoxo
ColeyB
By request...here's one of my knitted hats and scarfs
See? I really am knitting.
Hope you like it NJ Fan and Tink!
Coley
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Weds Night Results for Group 3
Ryan...loose tie...looking like a hedgefund manager at happy hour. Why is his tie loose like that?
So the show begins.,.(NJ Fan...I'm blogging live, just for YOU)
OMG, they are hacking up Katy Perry's song in the opening SING ALONG. Hot N Cold. These group sings are gross. I can't even listen to it. OMG, who has the huge ass in the plaid skirt? Lil, girl, fired the person that put your ass in plaid. Yoiu aren't even carry a full load of junk in your trunk but plaid ass says you ARE moving a wide load.
Please God, let that be the last time I see Flash Dance Newton-John sing on this show.
Here's my pics to go forward:
Lil Rounds
Felicia Barton
Bad news...I can't remember the guy I voted for. Mmm. Junot and Scott
OMG< I forgot to mention to God, I didn't want to hear Nathaniel talk either.
Jorge....I think he will go forward. But on my Idol Pool, I picked Junot Juno and Scott McIntyre.
Well, Lil' Rounds is in ...and I'm now 1 for 1 on this show.
DO YOU SEE THAT BUBBLE SKIRT??? Oh Girl, I'm so sorry. I wonder what she is going to sound like on Barry Manilow week, or when they revive Neil Sedaka week? Listen, she's the real deal. That girl looks like she has been on stage for a decade already.
Pauler, dancing in her seat and on her feet. Does she know how ridiculous she looks? Weirdo.
Next person to go through...I love that little Arianna. I think she won't go through tonite, but will make it to Wild Card night tomorrow. Arianna is out. Taylor...I would have put her through. She'll come back on wild card night too. Alex, the nerd, no way are you going through after your Elton song...I did like a few of your notes, but you aren't even coming back to Wild night.
Kendall and Scott. Hmmm. She reminds me of someone, and you know who it is...Teri Hatcher. She's a blond Teri Hatcher. Funny. Oh boy, I'm 2 for 2. Wowzie Wowzie. Did you hear him tell Ryan to 'square my shoulders' up. That's interesting. You know, he isn't totally blind, he only has like a little light coming in peripherally, right? Or is it only tiny tunnel vision?
Ok, Nathaniel and Kristen. Not even bringing them down, because they are not coming to the Top 12 week. She's a pretty girl, but she needs to give up this dream. Two shows down...she just isn't doing it for the public. She needs to go to Broadway or go to cruise ships. Bye now.
Von. His hair looks like a wave. OH< please let Felicia go through. I loved her. DAMMIT, my first one that I got wrong. Shoot.
Ok, Junot should go before Jorge. Jorge goes through. Tears work! Simon doesn't appear happy on this one. Greg says he has a lazy eye. I heard some dumbass on the radio today, say...hey...why does a Spanish speaker get to be on AMER"ICAN"idol? OMG, I guess they didn't know Puerto Rico is an American territory. wowzie.
OH BOY!!!!!!!! Now we get to hear who the 8 wild ones are. Yippy skippy. I like this crazy shit. Good mixup.
Randy picks first.
Von Smith - Lord help us. i guess he had a good voice. Simon wants him to wear a hat. ha ha
Jasmine Murray - good pick. I totally would have gone there.
Ricky Braddy - good, I suppose, better than Von
Meghan - She will win through tomorrow night
Tatiana - shutup I knew it. I knew it, when they said they stayed up all night OMG, she won;t stop crying. That girl is a wreck. They brought her back, for entertainment value
Matt Girard - good pick. btw, I thought he was Ricky Braddy. I liked Matt. he's a little Justin Timberlake
Jessie crap - no way. This is a BAD BAD BETTY" DAVIS eyes pick. gross
I think Anoop might go in...I wish is was Felicia. Come on. OH wow, it's Anoop. I guess I called that one. Well, I hate the picks really. VON?
Tatiana? Come on. Well, here's my thoughts. They put in some ringers, and some duds. They know the # of votes some of those peeps got. Jasmine, Meghan and Matt Girard will go in.
bye now.
See you tomorrow night.
xoxo,
ColeyB
So the show begins.,.(NJ Fan...I'm blogging live, just for YOU)
OMG, they are hacking up Katy Perry's song in the opening SING ALONG. Hot N Cold. These group sings are gross. I can't even listen to it. OMG, who has the huge ass in the plaid skirt? Lil, girl, fired the person that put your ass in plaid. Yoiu aren't even carry a full load of junk in your trunk but plaid ass says you ARE moving a wide load.
Please God, let that be the last time I see Flash Dance Newton-John sing on this show.
Here's my pics to go forward:
Lil Rounds
Felicia Barton
Bad news...I can't remember the guy I voted for. Mmm. Junot and Scott
OMG< I forgot to mention to God, I didn't want to hear Nathaniel talk either.
Jorge....I think he will go forward. But on my Idol Pool, I picked Junot Juno and Scott McIntyre.
Well, Lil' Rounds is in ...and I'm now 1 for 1 on this show.
DO YOU SEE THAT BUBBLE SKIRT??? Oh Girl, I'm so sorry. I wonder what she is going to sound like on Barry Manilow week, or when they revive Neil Sedaka week? Listen, she's the real deal. That girl looks like she has been on stage for a decade already.
Pauler, dancing in her seat and on her feet. Does she know how ridiculous she looks? Weirdo.
Next person to go through...I love that little Arianna. I think she won't go through tonite, but will make it to Wild Card night tomorrow. Arianna is out. Taylor...I would have put her through. She'll come back on wild card night too. Alex, the nerd, no way are you going through after your Elton song...I did like a few of your notes, but you aren't even coming back to Wild night.
Kendall and Scott. Hmmm. She reminds me of someone, and you know who it is...Teri Hatcher. She's a blond Teri Hatcher. Funny. Oh boy, I'm 2 for 2. Wowzie Wowzie. Did you hear him tell Ryan to 'square my shoulders' up. That's interesting. You know, he isn't totally blind, he only has like a little light coming in peripherally, right? Or is it only tiny tunnel vision?
Ok, Nathaniel and Kristen. Not even bringing them down, because they are not coming to the Top 12 week. She's a pretty girl, but she needs to give up this dream. Two shows down...she just isn't doing it for the public. She needs to go to Broadway or go to cruise ships. Bye now.
Von. His hair looks like a wave. OH< please let Felicia go through. I loved her. DAMMIT, my first one that I got wrong. Shoot.
Ok, Junot should go before Jorge. Jorge goes through. Tears work! Simon doesn't appear happy on this one. Greg says he has a lazy eye. I heard some dumbass on the radio today, say...hey...why does a Spanish speaker get to be on AMER"ICAN"idol? OMG, I guess they didn't know Puerto Rico is an American territory. wowzie.
OH BOY!!!!!!!! Now we get to hear who the 8 wild ones are. Yippy skippy. I like this crazy shit. Good mixup.
Randy picks first.
Von Smith - Lord help us. i guess he had a good voice. Simon wants him to wear a hat. ha ha
Jasmine Murray - good pick. I totally would have gone there.
Ricky Braddy - good, I suppose, better than Von
Meghan - She will win through tomorrow night
Tatiana - shutup I knew it. I knew it, when they said they stayed up all night OMG, she won;t stop crying. That girl is a wreck. They brought her back, for entertainment value
Matt Girard - good pick. btw, I thought he was Ricky Braddy. I liked Matt. he's a little Justin Timberlake
Jessie crap - no way. This is a BAD BAD BETTY" DAVIS eyes pick. gross
I think Anoop might go in...I wish is was Felicia. Come on. OH wow, it's Anoop. I guess I called that one. Well, I hate the picks really. VON?
Tatiana? Come on. Well, here's my thoughts. They put in some ringers, and some duds. They know the # of votes some of those peeps got. Jasmine, Meghan and Matt Girard will go in.
bye now.
See you tomorrow night.
xoxo,
ColeyB
Jeffro Backs Down from Dare
So, Jeffro complained about sharing me with knitting. I am flattered that I am loved, but the blog is not my life any more. I have taken meds to back off the obsession. And moved my obsession over to knitting. The blog wasn't giving me the fame buzz anymore. Not enough positive feedback...I'm an adoration whore. Just like an actress. So now, I knit hats and wear them to work and people pay me to knit them more. DO YOU SEE THE DIFFERENCE? If you would PAY me to write this shit, I'd be down with it. But I guess that's called a book.
I'm kidding of course.
So, here's Jeffro's whimpy whimp-in-stein response to my dare...daring him to stop reading my blog...
Cole, You know I can't quit your blog. It's MY CRYSTAL METH. I owe a lot to you. You put me into witness protection, remember? I am forever your bitch. If you want to take on 800 hobbies, that's fine with me. I am sorry I even spoke out. Seriously...blah blah blah...he continues on about a bunch of other stuff about KNITTING...and well, you can read it in comments.
-------
I'm ok with being compared to meth. I am sure I am easier on your teeth.
-------
Continuing in the department of fan complaints: NJ Fan wishes I would blog in real time, as I watch American Idol, as I had in the past. I wasn't thinking that was such a big deal, and perhaps tended to get a little drawn out and lengthy. Do others agree? Feel free to post your response.
Oddly, I do write this thing to please the readers. But keep in mind, it's still odd to me that people actually read it...at their jobs, in their homes, on vacation. This is my little therapy diary, and I just happen to leave it for others to peak inside. It really doesn't occur to me that I have created a demand for something, and when I drop off, consumers are dissatisfied. It's like a story I heard today...
This lame ass woman goes to McDonald's to get Chicken McNuggets (first indication she was not smart, as everyone knows the best nuggets are at Wendy's). She pays for said nuggets, and waits. And waits. No nuggets. Seems they ran out. She was told to select something else. She said NO, give me my money back. They said NO, pick another fried greasy item.
So what did she do?
Called 911.
And when the po-po arrived, she explained how McD's was extorting McNug money from her, and she wanted it back, not another item. (probably so she could go around the corner to the next McD's...you know they are as close as Starbuck's are to each other...I digress)
There is a good ending...they slapped her with a $500.00 fine for abuse of 911 call.
Now where was I going with this? Oh, Yeah. I'm like Chicken McNuggets to some people. You log on...and you want your nuggets. Not a substitute blog.
Lord, I gave blood today and I feel I am going to regret this post.
Seester, don't write me critiquing this post. I'll cut you.
Cole
I'm kidding of course.
So, here's Jeffro's whimpy whimp-in-stein response to my dare...daring him to stop reading my blog...
Cole, You know I can't quit your blog. It's MY CRYSTAL METH. I owe a lot to you. You put me into witness protection, remember? I am forever your bitch. If you want to take on 800 hobbies, that's fine with me. I am sorry I even spoke out. Seriously...blah blah blah...he continues on about a bunch of other stuff about KNITTING...and well, you can read it in comments.
-------
I'm ok with being compared to meth. I am sure I am easier on your teeth.
-------
Continuing in the department of fan complaints: NJ Fan wishes I would blog in real time, as I watch American Idol, as I had in the past. I wasn't thinking that was such a big deal, and perhaps tended to get a little drawn out and lengthy. Do others agree? Feel free to post your response.
Oddly, I do write this thing to please the readers. But keep in mind, it's still odd to me that people actually read it...at their jobs, in their homes, on vacation. This is my little therapy diary, and I just happen to leave it for others to peak inside. It really doesn't occur to me that I have created a demand for something, and when I drop off, consumers are dissatisfied. It's like a story I heard today...
This lame ass woman goes to McDonald's to get Chicken McNuggets (first indication she was not smart, as everyone knows the best nuggets are at Wendy's). She pays for said nuggets, and waits. And waits. No nuggets. Seems they ran out. She was told to select something else. She said NO, give me my money back. They said NO, pick another fried greasy item.
So what did she do?
Called 911.
And when the po-po arrived, she explained how McD's was extorting McNug money from her, and she wanted it back, not another item. (probably so she could go around the corner to the next McD's...you know they are as close as Starbuck's are to each other...I digress)
There is a good ending...they slapped her with a $500.00 fine for abuse of 911 call.
Now where was I going with this? Oh, Yeah. I'm like Chicken McNuggets to some people. You log on...and you want your nuggets. Not a substitute blog.
Lord, I gave blood today and I feel I am going to regret this post.
Seester, don't write me critiquing this post. I'll cut you.
Cole
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Tonite On Idol: Identity Crisis Week
Who are you? We don't know what you buy at the mall? What do you eat for breakfast?
By the end of the night, Lil Rounds had me thinking, I don't give a shit who she is, I love her. She was great. None of the men were doing it for me tonite. I saw several girls, but none like 'Lil. I loved Felicia Barton, the mom who replaced Joanna Paccitti. or whatever her name was.
Did the Puerto Rican Jorge impress you? Mandolin Rain? Joe Cocker? Meatloaf? WTF? The dudes sucked tonite. The Junot Juno dude was good, even though I hate that white tshirt's song.
Well, Kara is turning into the judge that is about spirit. Pauler needs to stop telling Simon to shut up. No one thinks their little love spats are funny any more, because we know they aren't love spats.
The little Carrie Underwood wannabe...hmm. Well, sugary sweet and bottle blond. I dunno...good voice but do I want to watch her every week?
Y'all, I'm startin' to get a little worried with this season. I liked Meghan that got booted last week. I can't even remember the guys name who made it.
And Adam Lambart is so off my radar. I saw a YouTube clip and he just needs to pack his bags for Broadway right now. He should be in SpamAlot or Grease...he isn't going to be replacing Pete Wentz in Fall Out Boy ANY time soon. He's too gay Elvis. And I said Gay Elvis, before it was confirmed he was gay. I suspected but wasn't sure, given his theatrical drama background.
We'll see what happens tomorrow night...and Thursday night (its a triple hit week, Idol on 3 nights) we will see the wild carders come and perform. In case you didn't read, the judges pick two contestants each, from the discards, and they perform one song. Then the judges will pick the 3 that move forward from those eight. It'll suck to be a two-time reject. Bounced on your booty in front of the nation TWICE. Sad.
xoxo,
ColeyB
By the end of the night, Lil Rounds had me thinking, I don't give a shit who she is, I love her. She was great. None of the men were doing it for me tonite. I saw several girls, but none like 'Lil. I loved Felicia Barton, the mom who replaced Joanna Paccitti. or whatever her name was.
Did the Puerto Rican Jorge impress you? Mandolin Rain? Joe Cocker? Meatloaf? WTF? The dudes sucked tonite. The Junot Juno dude was good, even though I hate that white tshirt's song.
Well, Kara is turning into the judge that is about spirit. Pauler needs to stop telling Simon to shut up. No one thinks their little love spats are funny any more, because we know they aren't love spats.
The little Carrie Underwood wannabe...hmm. Well, sugary sweet and bottle blond. I dunno...good voice but do I want to watch her every week?
Y'all, I'm startin' to get a little worried with this season. I liked Meghan that got booted last week. I can't even remember the guys name who made it.
And Adam Lambart is so off my radar. I saw a YouTube clip and he just needs to pack his bags for Broadway right now. He should be in SpamAlot or Grease...he isn't going to be replacing Pete Wentz in Fall Out Boy ANY time soon. He's too gay Elvis. And I said Gay Elvis, before it was confirmed he was gay. I suspected but wasn't sure, given his theatrical drama background.
We'll see what happens tomorrow night...and Thursday night (its a triple hit week, Idol on 3 nights) we will see the wild carders come and perform. In case you didn't read, the judges pick two contestants each, from the discards, and they perform one song. Then the judges will pick the 3 that move forward from those eight. It'll suck to be a two-time reject. Bounced on your booty in front of the nation TWICE. Sad.
xoxo,
ColeyB
Uh Oh. Adam Lambart is gay...
Not that there is anything wrong with being gay, but the homophobes of America are not going to stand for it. Too bad he couldn't keep it hidden like Gayken (Clay Aiken). I think he's talented but too dramatic. Also, he looks too much like Jason Bateman.
Well here's a better pic
Incoming...Chris just called. Word on the Wild Card night...which is Thursday night when the wild ones perform.
Each judge will pick 2 contestants from the top 36, meaning 8 people will perform, and then the judges each get a pick. In case of a tie, Simon decides.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Back from my Knitting Convention
Lordy my dawgs are barkin'.
My feet have chosen to leave me for another body. I'm walking on stumps now. I was so tired yesterday, I never got dressed (that was my day 'off' from the convention) and I had to be back there by 8:30 this morning, which is an hour drive away from here. Anyway, I made it in plenty of time.
All in all, I would give that convention a 10 out of 10. No shit. I was in Yarn Heaven, and there wasn't one thing I would complain about...NOT ONE. And I'm a complainer, so this is saying alot. You know, as I grow older, I see how easily I could slip into the crabby phase if I don't watch it. For example, out of the blue, this lady just walked up to me and said "I don't like that we don't get free coffee outside the meeting rooms any more, and I prefer my water chilled." And I just looked at her like she was from Mars. She said, "Don't you think?" And I said, "Lady, I'm just happy to not be at my desk today, listening to people's demands for stuff due yesterday. I would enjoy cold oatmeal in this lobby." She knew she better shut the hell up and get her negative ass away from me. Of course, I didn't insult her, I said all the above with a Texas twang and my usual charm, followed by my silly school girl giggle, (all patented moves), and she slithered off. Ugh. What a waste of my yarn heaven space she was.
Now let's talk about the crazy lady that walked up to me and said, "Oh, I just love your hair color." And I had just pulled my hat off, had hat hair, and she was so admiring me. It was weird. And she suddenly got embarrassed and said, "I'm sorry, I should walk up to a stranger like that but your hair is beautiful." I replied, "Yes, you should walk up to strangers. You made my day. I pay ALOT OF MONEY for that color." We both laughed, because she thought it was natural and I assured her, it was not. (This woman must not have heard of highlights because no one grows their hair with stripes...my highlights are pretty pronounced, but I have super curly hair, today atleast, without the magic of the flat iron!) I digress.
I had a sweater making class, and I grabbed a sample sweater from my closet, and we had to spread them out to measure. And the teacher walked up just as I spotted a coffee stain on the front. OMG, so embarrassing. O-well. She had purple hair and by the end of the class, was walking around in her stocking feet. ha ha.
And finally, the most shocking event of the weekend. I was buying some yarn, and looked up to hand my money to the lady, realizing just then that the 3 year old climbing in her lap, was ripping her boob out of her bra to NURSE. For fuck's sake, that little brat was attacking her like a toddler leech. And that freaking milk was spewing down her shirt. I thought I was gonna' puke and I was sort of embarrassed for her, because she was trying not to wrestle the screaming child. I don't have kids, so I don't get it, but isn't there a rule or something that when they have teeth, can speak, and overpower you and undo your bra, it's time to wean them off the boobies? That should be a rule, if it's not. I don't care what you do at home or in the ladies room at the mall, or in a park, but at a fucking cash register? Seriously???????????? "Here's your change, don't mind the titty milk, it washes off." gag.
So, American Idol..hmmm.
I sort of like the new format. It's alot of filler though. I can already see who the 'wild cards' are from this week....Megan...Jasmine Murray. Adam made it, and the 40 year old bar fly trapped in a 16 year old body. I swear to God it reminds of that movie BIG, except she's an old lady trapped in kids body, instead of a kid trapped in Tom Hanks body. She looks like she is trying to seduce Ryan like a scene in The Graduate. So weird.
Paula is signing off. She's not going to be back next year, mark my words. Kara is bumping her out. Promise you. This is Pauler's final year on her contract.
Bye now. More later.
xoxo,
ColeyB
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