My Idol Pick Rocks the House!!!

Ok, this is like all the buzz. Thanks NJ Fan for sending the link to Chris Cornell, who originally rocked Billie Jean.

I love this. For me, this was the turning point of this competition. David made the rest of them look like amateurs.

Also, supposedly, David Archuleta's dad is the ultimate tool. As in BAD STAGE DAD, and when Simon said, "I know you did not pick that song" he was referring to the dad selecting David's songs for him. They should ban him from the stage, but he's underage so they can't. Sad.

The Top 10 - Get your Tour Tickets Now

Oh Boy, I think I would probably not even go to this show of Top 10 peeps, even if they were playing in my freakin' backyard. And I do mean literally my backdoor...outside my slider and on my freakin' patio.

Did you see that Jason Castro? Smoke another one 'bro. Maybe wait until after your performance and interview to zone out. Dude, you are like watching paint dry. Boring as hell. You're eyes are pretty, but your personality and hair are killing me. I hate to diss the Aggie but come ON. That song was slug city.

Ramiele, almost forgot to write about you. Um, enough said.

Sayesha...I don't know why they keep giving her props. She seems the same each week to me. But you know, Slow and Steady Wins the Race...maybe she is the sleeper cell of the show?

Chikezie...ok, he's getting sly with us, and going all deep. This dude can sing. His voice is like butter. Buh d'ah.

Let me ask you? Who gives the crowd the signal of the stupid shit to do with their hands when someone is singing? this is not a clap along around the campfire song. It's smooth, and I'm watching some dumbasses hands clap in front of me like they are at a Laker game. So annoying to me. If I was there I would...well, I wouldn't care because I would be drooling over the fact I was there. Back to Chikezie...Randy, you are sick, and in a bad mood, so shut it. Pauler, what is she wearing tonite? She looks like she should be on Dancing with the Stars...the Trailer Trash Edition. What are those black glove things with all those fake diamonds on them. If it was real, she'd be dripping in like 40 million in diamonds. It's just cheap, Pauler.

I totally disagree with Simon and Randy, and me and my man think they are reverse psychologying America.

Next: Brooke. I like this song alot...but I'm not sure this is working for me really. I like her though, she really is a musician, not a karaoke singer like Ramiele. I love the instruments this season. Actually I like it more when the band comes in...and weirdly that's what they ding her for. Me and the judges are not singing the same tune tonite 4 sure.

Michael Johns...didn't I call him Queenie at the beginning of this season. What's his deal with the Queen catalog? I'm tired of this one trick Queen. He's ok though, and I know there are those of you who loves your MJ. Ok, the light show is killing me tonite. He's like 80% good for me. He just has not hit a Chris Daughtry note yet. Nope. He's doomed in the upper register. And he's a faker. He's a tennis pro, who happens to sing well. I just don't buy it. I bet the judges do though. Ugh.

Carly...why does she keeping singing these songs? I don't really like it tonite. Is this Heart? Anyway, I thought it was enough to get to next week, and the run at the end was awful.

David Archuleta, here we go. What song is this? It sounds like something from "Up With People". It's catchy, but I think they play it on the Praise Jesus stations. I don't know it. Hey, true story, I accidentally hit scan one time and found myself singing along and liking this song, and then suddenly I was singing the melody, and it was "And he Died on the Cross for Me...for me...for MEEEEEE" sort of in a Sting like voice. I was like WTF??? I am singing about Christ's death? Isn't this sacriligious?

Anyway, Simon is like dead fucking right, this was theme park performance bullshit. Right on Simon. It was UP with People!

KLC...she is singing that dang LEE GREENWOOD song. OMG, I hate that song. Well, she countryfied herself tonite. The only thing she is missing is a daisy and stick of straw in that hair. But, listen, to be honest, none of these people are worse than the previous top 10's. I know we are spoiled now. KLC has not moved one inch on that stage. She just stood there and sang. Boring. She and Jason Castro could put you in a coma.

Ok, talk to you tomorrow, when hopefully we say goodbye to Ramiele or Jason. Hey, and thanks to NJ Fan for all the hot tips she is digging up! Way to go!

OMG, I thought the show was over. I'm a dipshit. I was ready to slam the lid on this laptop and get my ice cream treat! Oh, he's a Sagitarrius like me! OK, I can't believe I forgot my favorite guy. Giant skull boy. Now listen, I am tired of people talking about 2 year old babies and their guitars, and then we see photos and they are like 4. I think there are some truth stretchers out there.

What is this song? OMG, he is rocking Billie Jean. Has anyone ever heard this shit before? He is killing me. This is awesome. You know, they save the best for last round here. That was freaking amazing. Let's see what the judges say. ok, we finally agree when it counts. And guess what you bunch of losers playing in the office pool with me...I AM THE ONLY ONE THAT PICKED HIM TO WIN THE WHOLE THING. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. 40 bonus points. Eat that! :)

A Day Late but I still have alot to say about the Top 10

That crazy nurse is OUTTA here. Hallelujah. Now my seester was keen to tell me to watch the opening sing-a-long and see how they clearly told Amanda to clam up in the opening song. She doesn't even do a good lip sync. It was really funny, It's like she forgot the words or didn't show up to rehearsals.

Anyway, I was shocked to see the 1st person in the bottom 3 is Carly. Mmm. I don't think that was deserved, as I think others should be there first. But if she were to have gone, I would not be sad. She isn't my fave. Kristy Lee Cook should have been there first. But she joined her anyway. Jason Castro is referred to as Dreds. Funny.

So we end up with 5 boys and 5 girls...that's different. Usually there is an off-balance.

So, I think that Kellie Pickler sounded a little bit nasally, but dang, she was red hot pur-dee, y'all. That little hickster. Hate that red high heals song after about 2 minutes. Then it is boring as hell. A shoe song. I bet they play it at the wedding I go to next week in Texas. I can't wait for that wedding. I can't wait to get back on Texas soil.

Anywaze, I'm sad that so far no one really has me super duper stoked, and you know who I blame for that? The Beatles. That crap is not meant for a pop show. Ok, it's not crap. I love all those songs, when they come out of The Beatles mouth.

I think the Top 10 is good, I wouldn't have saved any of the players that went home. Nope.

If I was going to say how I think the top 10 will finish out...this early in the game, I really don't think I could do it. I don't see enough difference between Kristy, Ramiele and Brooke. All sweet and nice singers. The boys...now there is a distinct difference between all 5 of them. They all fill different slots. Chickezie, David, David, Michael and Jason. You can't be a fan of MJ and DA. There's over a decade of time between them in age.

Oh man, in the montage at the end, I almost started to like her more again. She's a cool chick. But a one-trick pony in terms of voice. Now that's not exactly a fair statement. Because when I go see Kenny Chesney in June, he better sound just like Kenny for 2 solid hours, and not turn into Rascal Flatts 1/2 way through. So, one trick pony is good, if you are wanting to ride that pony for 2 hours at a concert.

Hope everyone has a Happy Easter filled with lots of chocolate and those yummy malt balls covered in speckled egg shells. I'm gonna buy me some of those tomorrow. I like the Cadbury ones too...and the peanut butter stuff...and coconut...and...and....

Anyway, I'm watching Survivor now. That Ozzy is a slice of hotness I love to stare at.

Mariah Carey has signed on as mentor!!

I'm really curious to see that. I love that. She is also scheduled to perform on Idol Gives Back, and one other night. She's on 3 nights, according to Ryan Seacrest interviewing her on KIIS-FM radio show yesterday. I love love love that podcast. I am so into it now. Little trivia question: what is Mariah Carey's song that hits #1 every year at exactly the same time?

Jeffro, buzzes in...who Jeffro? It's "All I Want for Christmas Is You". Correct Jeffro... Isn't that funny? She will be rich off that one for like . 4ever. Bitch. Ha ha. Funny thing is I thought it was a remake of something. It has a retro vibe to me, for some reason. But she wrote it. Rich Bitch!

bye now

Wanna Have Some Fun ?

If you loved Chikezie "Ive Just Seen a Face" from tonite as much as me, go on Itunes, plug in "I've just seen a face" and you will see 48 recordings to preview. Everyone from Arlo Guthrie to a band called Free Beer, has recording this McCartney song. So, now we know why Heather Mills got 50 million from him. The dude is rich as shit.

My favorite recording on Itunes is Lisa Lauren. She is listed as POP. Never heard of her, but I like the version. I bought it. I am now 99 cents poorer, and I will be stoked if everyone else buys it too and the little meter moves up in the popularity column.

nite again.

Another week, some more songs by the Beatles

Ryan is quick to distinguish that this is not the Lennon McCartney album collection, it's the Beatles. Ok, so what's the diff? There isn't really any difference, and if there is, it's about as big as a butt hair...which isn't that big, in case you don't go about measuring those.

Well, I loved the Beatles, and I loved Styx and Peter Frampton, and I don't really want to see these people sing that old shit. Why do they do this crap? I have my thoughts. Because no one can sing today's crap. It's crap. Can you see David Archuleta try to tackle a Britney tune, or something from NSync or Pink? Nope. But I do admit I wish someone could bust out Justin Timberlake's "What Comes Around Goes Around" song. That song is super-nova-groovy. And I'd love if someone could sing Fergie too. I love Big Girls Don't Cry.

Ok, so I've listened to Nurse Rocker, Kristy Lee Cook and David Archuleta. I agree with the feedback. I did like Kristy more this week than ever before, but her clock is ticking. David is just so damn cute, young and cheesy. I know he is great, but I wish he was a bit cooler. He's not suave. He's kind of a baby boy. The voice of a 20-something, but the mannerisms of a 15 yr old, for me. I don't mean to be rude but his aw-shucks ness is getting a little 'meh'.

Michael Johns is up. How odd to go from teeny bop hour and then switch to full grown man. See what I mean? It's a disconnect...like a decade in age difference. This guys just seems to be on the opposite end of the spectrum...too old. Like this dude is Justin Timberlake's age. Kind of crazy, but true. And now he is finished singing...and I didn't really dig it. I didn't hate it, but for me, it wasn't that groovy of a song and why does he keep picking druggy songs. Oh, Randy agreed. Pauler is giving him an excuse for it. Monitors in ears. Simon felt it was a mess. A big ole' hot tranny mess. Fierce.

Slammo Whammo. Pauler is embarrassed by the fact it is revealed the dude did not have the ear monitors. Hee hee.

Brooke White is here. Where's my insulin shot? This sugary chick. Listen, my husband says she is a sleeper cell. She is really good, and I like her performance here. I do wish she hadn't worn a yellow sunny dress to sing "here comes the sun". It's like a move you would make in your elementary school pageant. She's so sunshiny.

Oh, yeah@ my favorite is up...David Cook. Oh, did I tell you guys that he was my pick? He's my Jordin Sparks and Kelly and Chris and Carrie. This is the one I am rootin' tootin' dreaming for!!! I loves him. Dreamy. Simon sucks. He looked a bit smug, he says. Ok, Simon, you are full of shit. Totally disagree. I loved the guitar thing too. Awesome.

Ok, next up we have Carly Smithson. Man they are dragging this shit OUT. 2 hours. Well, Pauler gives her a capital F for fantastic and Simon gives her a Capital F for F'd Up. And Carly tries to get the sympathy vote. Hey, by the way, she looks so pretty tonite. She is really, really pretty. And now Simon says they are all broken birds. And he's very uncomfortable. ha. This is a bunch of mumbo jumbo.

Hey, Kellie Pickler is on tomorrow night. Jason Castro. guess what? Little piece of trivia. My nephews actually attend the elementary school that Jason attended as a wee tyke. So, now all the little boys and girls have Jason Castro shirts on at school and shit. And people have his name shoe polished on their cars. He has the most amazing eyes and eyelashes. He should cut those shitty dreads and be an underwear model. Or perhaps a male makeup model. Do they have those? This guy is great but really he just doesn't make me insane for him. No one really does, no one, even my newly crowned favorite, David Cook, is inspiring me like Chris Daughtry ever did.

FINALLY SIMON SAYS WHAT I THINK...2 weeks of Beatles is OVER KILL. OH VURR KEELLL. Sick of it. Like if I had any Beatles records I'd put them in the deepest crevices of my cd stand, never to be uncovered for a while.

Sayesha Mercado-Boobinski. Is she suddenly nursing an infant? She has her twin sisters out and about loud and proud tonite. I don't like this high pitch she sang this in, for some reason. That high note was a bit like fangers on the ol' chalk board for me, y'all. It was sweet but a bit safe and boring, maybe. I think she did take risk by not hiding behind a band. The guitar was my favorite part. Actually, if I think about it, this was not safe but really risky because it was hard to sing solo with a guitar. I don't know, I do surely think she was better than Nurse Rocker and Kristy, but I did like Carly and Brooke better.

Here comes Chikezie. Oh, come on, this dude was so funny last week. They even made fun of all this shit on THE SOUP last Friday. I whole heartedly disagree with the feedback on Cheeky. I loved that song. My husband is yelling at the tv so loud the cat scrammed from the room. He loved that song. Is my husband gay? I hope not. He loves this shit though. You know, if Cheeky

Ramiele...I hope Danny Noriega lists you as his "Plus 1" on that cruise because I do believe you will be free to sail. This is very karaoke, or perhaps "cruise ship" performance. I hate that shimmy you do. I hate your pimp hat. I love your makeup and you are the prettiest tonite. But, I do not think this is going to keep you in the competition, to quote Simon.

Well, for me, I am going to continue voting off Kristy Lee Cook. Or Nurse Rocker. Both of them have to be running their course...and Ramiele is in the bottom 3 with them. That's it for me.

Listen people, don't complain too much. We did have to suffer through a lot worse in previous top 12s. Chris Sligh, Anthony Federov, JP Stevens, Chicken Little, Paris Bennett, Jasmine Trias and the slew of wannabes now refilling Kleenex boxes in rehab like Jessica Sierra. So, we are really actually being treated this season.

Bye 'til tomorrow. OH< and btw, I am going to be out tomorrow, I am going to the Tiburon Film Festival to see a movie about the 20 years of trial and tribulations of Public Enemy. I confess, my friend is a friend of Chuck D, and I am going to watch Flavor Flav. I loves me some Flavor Flav and his rad clock collection. Hee hee I'll comment on the vote off on Thursday.

Another night of Beatles...

Oh Peeps, why oh why. It seems that Tink was correct when she told us we are hearing more Beatles tunes Tuesday night. They only had 24 songs to choose from as well. I'm not inspired. So how could the Idols be inspired. Out of all the music in the world, we could have had something else...why a repeat? Come ON! Two bad Michael Jackson turned into a freak. They could have had Jackson night, and you could chose The 5, Janet or solo Michael. Just as long as they had Jackson in their last name.

I wish they would have alphabet night. Everyone is given a letter, and they can pick any band with a lead singer with their letter as the first in their last name. Oooh, Google that !!! Part of the fun would be solving the puzzle. Ha! In other words people, I want a little more Survivor in my Idol experience. I want some skill and some freakin' battles going on. I need a little more cowbell people.

xoxo

Vote for the Worst has Nurse Rocker's number

Looks like Amanda is the latest pick since Danny is off and cruisin' with Rosie. This site is pretty funny actually.

Little Tidbits before nitey nite

Well, a few interesting things I promised...

1. Danny Noriega and Ramiele have been friends for over a year. They met during auditions for Idol last year and have been fast friends ever since. So, she is crying because she lost someone that she has known for quite some time. I can buy the tears a little bit more now...but hold it together girl!
2. Kelly Clarkson is working on her next album. YAHOO! She's teamed up with OneRepublic lead singer for writing some tunes. More on that later, I'm sure. Can't wait.
3. Carrie Underwood and Tina Fey SNL is on again next week, if you missed it.
4. The song Jason Castro sang...Jeff Buckley?...shot to the top of the charts and is selling like hotcakes. The power of Idol. Wow.
5. Kimberley Locke, definitely a shocker for me, has perhaps the most longevity in the "white noise music" category. Now I am one of the 20,000 Americans that bought her cd. It was good people. I swear. I played it dozens and dozens of times...so, this is how I can recognize it when shopping for lettuce at Safeway. She is always on at Macy's and I heard the song at TJ Maxx the other day. It's so fucking weird. And she has like 3 hit songs off that album. They are finally around to playing my favorite cut on the cd. "Do you really want, someone" ..blah blah...I can't remember the title. Anyway, that girl was on Inside Edition too.

In other stupid stuff...The Real Housewives of New York is the best trainwreck on tv. Basically, take a bunch of just on the cusp of pretty ladies, mix in their ungodly money, and their loss of the real meaning of life, (replaced with an unimaginable full on obsession with a life based soley on materialistic values) and you get 5 bitches on wheels and it's great. These bitches are just so good, I find myself yelling at the tv. They cannot script this shit. It's the first reality show that I feel like is so totally reality because they are just so BAD. This one chick thinks she is so hot. Ramona. Listen Ramona, note to self. I don't care if that Missoni skirt cost you 50 cents or 500 dollars, your muffin top fat looks bad in it. Your pushing 50, have a 12 year old girl that is embarrassed as hell at you, and you don't need to be exposing your belly. You ain't Kim Kardashian. Also, you need to have that dead tooth fixed. That's all I'm saying... LU, please watch this show with me so we can laugh our ass off at these bitches.

Ok, happy Monday...or should I say "Top 'O The Mornin' To Ya'" since its St. Patrick's Day!!!

How's your coffee this am, Tink?

xoxo- Coley O'Bronn

Penelope Skit on SNL

I can't believe I haven't blogged since Wednesday. Seems like I have just not been inspired by much. And work has been KRAZY. I've been doing a lot of emailing at night time, unfortunately, cutting into my bloglife, and that's just sucky. So, enough about me complaining, 'cuz I've just been sitting on my butt today watching Nascar. And searching the net for postings of Penelope skits on Saturday Night Live. Play the video in this post. It's freakin' hysterical. This is probably my most favorite returning character on SNL in a long time...since Dana Carvey's church lady.

Anyway, I watched a couple of new shows this weekend. Anyone watch "The Return of Jezebel James" on Friday night? It stars Parker Posey and Lauren Ambrose (Red head Claire from 6 Feet Under fame). It was pretty funny. You know Pilots are tough to be good. But Parker has always been one of my faves, and Claire plays Claire on this show too, so not that much of a stretch. I'm keeping it on TIVO for a few more episodes.

I watched POP FICTION, Ashton Kutcher's new show, which really should have been called "Punk the Papparazzi". In the first episode, he enlists Paris Hilton to team up with an actor posing as her Shaman. As you saw online, she supposedly was giving away jewels to strangers. It was a joke. Ha. And then, Avril Lavigne posed as pregnant and went shopping on Robertson to buy some baby stuff. Also staged. So, basically, they did some real stuff, and then laughed at the tabs and news organizations that reported it. Umm...I don't know. I don't get it. It wasn't that interesting. I mean, Avril, had a baby bump. People don't have to say, "I had a nose job" for my eyes to see that their nose looks different. This is Ashlee Simpson's approach. So, I don't know...I don't think it's weird that they report she is pregnant, when she looks pregnant. Now, Paris gave away jewels. It's not a lie. So, did they really report untruths? No, they just reported a staged fake out...but it still happened. I wish they were tricking the papps into reporting something that is absolutely not happening. Like something that could get them sued! ha. That would be great.

Ok, I don't have much more to tell you. I am going to post PURE AMERICAN IDOL scoop in my next post. Stay tuned.

Oh, and I almost forgot. I got tickets to Kenny Chesney concert this summer. CAN'T WAIT! Me and my gf Suki are goin! Yeah!

xoxo

Danny Noriega on Ellen

Here's our Danny on Ellen. And actually, I think if he had sung this, he would still be on the show. Despite his rather high flame-o-flying self.

And now there will be 11

Well, here we go party peeps. Well, atleast they are cutting it down pretty quick. I must admit I am not even a little surprised at the bottom 3 so far. Sayesha and Kristy Lee Cook. Katherine McPhee was just stunningly beautiful. Marriage has suited her well. Her voice is really pure and I thought she did a really nice job. She is an old soul, that one. She could not be a pop idol. She will be our generations Carol King or Carly Simon.

All right we are down to the final 4 getting cut to the 3. Archuleta....safe. Brooke...safe. Ramiele...safe. And David Hernandez is OUT...to the bottom 3. I have a feeling he is going. I don't know why. Perhaps because I called my mom in the Eastern Time Zone? Ha ha. I am like a kid at Christmas. But I have to keep a poker face and fake that I don't know or my husband will kick my ass. He would be so mad, if he knew I knew.

Oh, I am so glad that is all over. I hate all the build up. Also, I hate the chatter between the judges that is getting a little evil. Come on. Be funny, not bitter.

So, there we have it for tonite.

What else happened in the big world today. Sex scandals and gas prices. Which bothers me more? I don't know. I think there are more sex scandals to come. Unfortunately, we won't have cheap gas ever again. boo hoo.

Season 7 Top 12

The next person that logs onto the blog is hit reader number 12,000!!! Woo Hoo.

Well we have the boys and girls mixed up tonite. Girl Boy Girl Boy will be how it goes down. New Stage, and I think Ryan has a new energy, I'm picking up. Good thing because he is dressed like a pallbearer tonite. He is down there rubbing on the judges and shaking hands with the mosh pit. He seems a little amped up tonite. Let's see what the new digs do to the rest of the Idols.

Sayesha is up first. For me, she starts this song out too low. Bad range. Well, I thought it was ok, and it's so funny but I thought this was an Earth Wind and Fire song. How sad. Well, she is a beautiful Halle Berry of a woman and I think it was good enough to carry her to next week.

Chikezie. I love his voice, but I hope he doesn't bring us another crooner vibe, Babyface or Luther Vandross performance. In fact I hope they all shake it up a bit. Ok, he's on the floor with the band, mmm. Well, it's different, and actually, this is kind of good...OK WHAT THE FUCK...sleeper cell Chikezie. He is killing it. Me and my husband are looking at each other like, what is this shit? Greg says he has been sandbagging! ha. I LOVED IT. Wow, look at the audience standing up. And the judges are as shocked as me. OK...did I call that Ryan Seacrest energy early or what? He's freaking out on the stage.

Ramiele - I'm surprised this girl is able to make it on stage with her distraught self over the loss of Danny Noriega. BORING...this performance has high school musical written all over it. She looks like she is going to the prom.

Jason Castro. GUESS WHAT? I graduated from Texas A&M in College Station too! Whoop! I love this song. Listen, I think Jason Castro is as sweet as a Krispy Kreme, but if you eat too many you are sluggish and unable to move. And that's how I feel about his somewhat boring performances. He's very kind of just blah. Simon is saying he is a little bit of a student in the bedroom at midnight.

Karly - they admit they are in their own apartments now. She's going to sing "Come Together". I like it. She's changed it up a bit and she's bringing a good vibe to it. I like the way she is breaking up the intensity and vocals. I give her mad props for that, and I'm not really one of her biggest fans. She sort of reminded me of the way Kelly Clarkson gets all into her songs. Same mannerisms I think, sort of? I don't know, I just saw a glimpse of Kelly. Ok, let's see what the judges say. OMG< Simon totally agrees with me and sees the Kelly Clarkson thing as well.

Has anyone noticed that I am not SUPER DUPER excited about anyone yet? I am not really looking forward to any one person yet. I like David Archuleta, but I do have to say, the lip licking is limiting me. And he's just too young. I don't care how good he is.

David Cook...well, his hair is finally not fucked up. Finally a stylist is helping. I actually like this alot. Eleanor Rigby. I think this guy is running to the top of my list. For the boys, I like this guy alot. He may be my fave, for now. I loved this shit. I did. He tore it up. He's gotten cuter too. Mmm....Simon thought it was brilliant. And said he could win the entire show.

Here comes Brooke the twinkie. She's like vanilla sponge cake. She better rip this shit up or she is going home if she doesn't. Let it Be. OMG, BORING. I don't know how she is going to bring this to the stage. Surprise me Brooke. I dare you. OK, sorry but you know who she looks EXACTLY LIKE? That evil Nelly on Little House on the Prairie, the blonde daughter of the shop keeper? The one that tormented Laura? I digress. Listen, Alicia Keys makes it happen at the piano. And Brooke is doing a decent job of this song. Shaking her head like Stevie Wonder. Ok, but are you going to buy concert tickets to see her twinkie ass? I don't know. It'd be like seeing Nicole Kidman in concert. Beautiful, sweet, and elegant. But BORING. Now, if Brooke shows up in a slasher film, whoa, that'd be cool. But listen, I would buy her cd, just like I bought Michael Buble' and Josh Groban. And the judges think she did a better job than me. Well, go figure.

David Hernandez - dude...why are you plugging Pizza Bistro so many times since they canned your ass? Singing, "I Saw You Standing There". He's bringing us the Cheesy Elvis performance version. HE'S OUT. Guaranteed. This is gross. I HATE IT. Sorry. I think he can sing, but this was an awful song choice. Randy agrees with me. That didn't work well. Pauler didn't like it either. SIMON....no.no.no. Corny and Rabbit in the headlights. Rabbit and Deer...whatever.

Uh oh, we have Beetlejuice on the show...oh, I mean Amanda Overmyer...Nurse Beetlejuice Joplin. Ok, I have to separate out my feelings about her style music and whether I think she is talented. i do think she has alot of talent. Do I think she is appropriate for this competition...no. She would be perfect for singing Kelly Clarkson's MY DECEMBER album. Because it was too harsh for Kelly and would have been great for Nurse Beetlejuice. I think she did great, but I don't like her sound. Enough said.

Michael Johns...sort of the Josh Groban of the competition. He's kind of old and sedate. He isn't going to ever be a rocker dude like David Cook. It was a really good vocal. Really good, But it wasn't earthshattering like Chikezie and David Cook.
goddammit Simon, you only have 12 names to remember. What a loser. What's the Irish girl's name? haha.

Kristy Lee Cook looks just like Amy Adams, doesn't she? And she is making a country song out of 8 Days a Week. Country Fried Beatles. Mmm. OMG "AWFUL" doesn't begin to describe it to me. The pace is so fast, it's Cowboy Crack. Ok, imagine trying to 2 step to this shit. take a step with every down beat....and hello, I'm running around Gilley's so fast my boot scootin' is Boot Flyin'. That' spells disaster for me honey. BYE NOW. Buh Bye. That was probably one of the worst performances I have ever seen on this show. Sorry. Pauler was mean, for once. Simon is going to bomb her. OK< Dolly Parton on helium...horrendous, very brave but foolish. Ghastly Country Fair. Banjo players and you. Oh man, Sanjaya had some bad nights but I feel like his Faux-Hawk was the only thing to top this.

David better sing some crazy good song, no soft boring sad shit, dude. Pick it up. Work it out. What, he forgot the words. Maybe if he paid more attention to lyrics than his Danny Noriega dance moves. Oh, he forgot words again. OMG, for the 3rd time he forgot the words. Ok, like I am so sad for him. This was awful. Oh shit, its not over yet. Damn, get off the stage. This is what I am saying people. He burned too bright too soon, and took his wick down too quickly. Nerves got him bad. I'm reminded of the SNL skit where Jason Priestly was in a skit where he is in a skating competition and he kept falling, and the crowd just kept going "Ooh" and "ooh". Look that one up on You Tube. HIlarious. Simon sez: That was a mess. Bad song pick. Oh, poor boy is going to cry himself to sleep tonite. Poor guy. He's so young. Little precious. I just want to hug him.

Well, I give that show a B++. It was pretty good. Some good surprises in the batch, that's for sure.

Nitey Nite.

Danny Noriega Video

Well, Jessica Alba's 'separated at birth' twin...his video is DUNZO on YouTube, just like his run on the Idol.

First of all, Perez Hilton ripped off my friend Lu. She was the first to mention the likeness between the preggers actress and Danny.

So, NJ Fan wants to know what he said. Well, he spent about 45 seconds of the 2 minute clip kissing Rosie O'Donnell's ass. (Please no jokes about the size of her bum and needing that much time to kiss it...that's unkind.) I digress.

Seems RoRo has offered Danny a free cruise. Actually, she saw him on the street corner holding a sign saying, "Will Sing for Food" and offered him access to the all you can eat buffets on her gay cruises if he agrees to perform. So, he has to sing for his supper, as the case may be.

And he went on and on to thank his fans...the Dan-imals, Dan-dylions, DanManiacs...etc. And he has like 2000 Facebook pages to link to, etc. And he promises if he lives to be 80 to respond to each and every one of his fan letters.

People, this means there is someone for everyone. So, go out there and find your niche market, and be that SOMETHING for SOMEONE.

PeaceOut

I'm Back off Sick Leave...

Sorry peeps, but when I get a case of the Japanese Epi-zooties, I can't shake it. Japanese Epizooties (pronounced Ep-uh-zute-eeze)...definition: My MiMi used to call any sickness that was bad and took you down, inexplicably and without warning, as the Japanese Epizooties..., I can only guess was some sickness that must have spread through the Japanese Internment Camps during one of those World Wars. (I know which one, but I wanted to make my sister laugh, because she surely doesn't think I even know which one had Pearl Harbor in it! haha).

So, thanks to all you lovely people wishing me to get well soon. I feel bedda' and I am rewarding you with 2 FIERCE videos on the next 2 posts below.

Enjoy...xoxox.

Danny Noriega's Video...on You Tube and my blog

OMG, the flame continues to burn. And Rosie O'Donnell is taking him on a cruise. Give him a listen. Perez Hilton is promoting him, so I don't think he will go away quietly.

IT's Fierce...Clip from SNL

Christian Siriano caught Amy Poehler’s impression of him on Saturday Night Live over the weekend and the Project Runway winner has just one word — an ‘F’ word — for the skit. And, no, it wasn’t “fierce.”
“I thought it was SO FUNNY,” the 22-year-old designer wrote in an e-mail to PEOPLE. “Amy [Poehler] looked exactly like me which is kinda scary, but fabulous.”
Known for his catty commentary and catchphrase, “That’s fierce,” the pint-sized designer wasn’t the only Project Runway personality to be parodied in the three-minute sketch about a hypothetical Runway spinoff, which features Siriano giving someone an apartment makeover. While Poehler played Siriano, the skit also featured guest host Amy Adams playing Runway host Heidi Klum and SNL castmember Bill Hader imitating Tim Gunn.
“The fact that they are even talking about me is so fierce, fabulous and flawless and is such an honor,” Siriano told PEOPLE. “[Poehler] was hilarious and little. It was so crazy that she looked just like me!”
And Poehler didn’t just nail Siriano’s sassy tone — she perfectly approximated his flat-ironed hair. “The hair was absolutely perfect,” Siriano wrote. “I don’t think I could have done it better myself. It was fierce!”

ASHTON punks the Papparazzi...AWESOME

First, I must credit AC "Big Texx" Anthony with this brilliant information.

Paris Hilton had an improbable dinner date in L.A. Saturday: a gray-haired, orange-robed "shaman" who blessed her and urged her to give a diamond necklace to a total stranger.Like most everything she does, the event was captured by dozens of cameras. News quickly spread to London tabloids, TMZ.com, the New York Daily News and websites of the Los Angeles Times and San Francisco Chronicle, who wondered if she'd found religion or was seeking spiritual guidance.

"He's really changed my life," Hilton told paparazzi from her car, adding she offered the necklace "because the greatest gift is to give."

Turns out, as some outlets later discovered, the "mystic" was an actor named Maxie Santillan Jr., who has appeared on CSI and My Name Is Earl. And though some accused Hilton of getting Punk'd, the joke's on them: The entire scene was staged for a new show from Punk'd producer Ashton Kutcher premiering Sunday on E! (10:30 ET/PT).

Pop Fiction, an eight-episode series, is a prank show targeting paparazzi and gullible media outlets.
-------------

Ok, so thanks again Anthony for that cool piece of scoopage. Dang, that Ashton isn't anywhere near as dumb as his 70's Show character is he? Brizziliant.

I wonder how much Paris had to be paid? Mmm? What would make me happiest is if some smug ass reporter on CNN is caught on tape reporting this story as if it is important news. Like Anderson Cooper or that crazy court bitch Nancy Grace.

In any case, that's so sweet when the papps get f'd.

And finally, thanks to Andre' at the Ant Farm for agreeing with me in today's daily postings that the outfits are heinous on American Idol this year. Andre' points out that it appears they are all being dressed by Stevie Wonder. ouch. But he feels certain, despite their wardrobe challenges, they all have a bright career...at Carl's Jr. Andre' was on fire this am. Your fierceness is hot!

Snap.

Random thoughts on Idol stuff...Project Runway Finale

Next week, word on the street is:

The Lennon/McCartney catalog will be the theme for the first week of finals next week, which should be highly interesting.

OK, so last night I told Greg that SIMON said something like "not bad for a stripper" after David H. sang. Of course we tivo'd it back and forth 4-5 times and I swear I heard it. Well, today, USA TODAY confirmed my ears...which if you read below are at the level of a bat...
-----
From USA Today:
... I sure didn't catch it, and I doubt if anyone with hearing less sharp than the average bat heard it with the naked ear, but recording devices show that after David H.'s performance Tuesday night, Simon leaned over and urged Randy, "Say, 'I liked the way you stripped it down.' " Randy chuckled but wisely refrained. That Simon -- what a card!
--------

Ha, I can't believe it. I knew I wasn't hearing things. I can hear a gnat fart. So watch what you say around me!

And for those of you who haven't seen Project Runway finale...STOP READING NOW.


SPOILER ALERT!!!!



Ok, I've scrolled down enough.

It was FIERCE. Tears shot out of my face like darts. I was crying so hard for him. I have never seen anyone win any reality tv show and been so happy for someone. NEVER. Except maybe Carrie Underwood. But anywaze...I would kill to meet Christian Siriano. He is just so freaking on vacay right now...and apparently on his way to dressing Victoria Beckham for the near future, as she just about fell out over him. I wonder how quickly he sold that tiny pill of a car? It was so 'not him'. He needs a Mini Cooper. I felt badly for Jillian. She was crushed. But listen, look at what she wore on the runway. That white prom dress reject and a belt that looked like braided hair. Honestly, I thought she wrapped some hair extensions around her waist to hold it up. Awful. She should have dressed to sort of complement the color palette of her collection.

Heidi Klum is my all-time favorite celeb of these shows. And Michael Kors kills me. He's like your favorite gay uncle, if you were lucky enough to have one. I don't have kids, but I have 2 nephews and let me tell you, when they are old enough, they are going to love to hang with crazy Aunt Cole. And they better be nice to me 'cuz they are the only ones to inherit my fortunes. So they are going to have to earn it. ha ha. Not really. But I will love it when they are old enough for me to indulge them in sillyness besides just buying them Wii games. How did I get off on that tangent?

Anyway, I am still sick. They literally kicked me out of my office today. Ugh. I was coughing, wheezing and they were grossed out. These people I work with are the least compassionate at times. Hey Cole, you sound like shit and I don't want you to get me sick, so get outta here. Thanks. Thanks alot. Oh, and here's a snotty kleenex.

So, I guess I better go try to sleep. I'm jacked up on sudafed but I am counter acting it with Tylenol PM. I have a small pharmacy in my bathroom, so who knows what else I can uncover.

bye now.

Girls Last Night on Stage alone

Ryan opens tonites show saying this is the last time they are alone on the stage...which means next week, they are down to the Top 12...and then it's one off each week until the end right?

Greg says Pauler looks like she has been on an all-night bender and looks like a freakin' wreck.  I personally think the clip in her hair looks a little like a belt buckle.  Oh, and she takes credit for the pompom hairdo of the 80's...umm, hello?  Did they remove the mirror in your dressing room tonite, because you have a freakin' pork bun on top of your head tonite...

And Asia comes out first, wearing Peg Bundy pants.  Did they get a bargain on these in wardrobe, because we see Ramiele wearing these bundy britches as well.    Now, listen those backup singers dress worse than I do for work.  Tank tops and t-shirts.  I guess it's Casual Friday on Idol tonite.  

How many years are we going to listen to contestants come out, sing Whitney or Celine, and the judges say the same damn thing?  Every single time.  So, those boneheads need to stop singing Mariah, Celine and Whitney.  But really, it is risky, and if they 1/2 way do it right it works, I suppose.

Ok, before I get too long, I just want to remind everyone, that I type this as it plays, no edits, and I type just a real time stream of consciousness...does that make sense.  Someone at work was confused the other day.  It may seem a little weird that I just type and type, but that's what I do.  I like to listen and not get caught up in the act so much.  

Kady Malloy - what the hell is this song.  She did hit that note really nice, at the crescendo.  If she keeps improving, she does have the 'total package' potential. Mark my words, she will get compared to Carrie Underwood, as they are both beautiful blondies.  I think that was a weird song choice, cause I have no clue...I don't think it was bad enough to go home, but I don't think it was a David Archie bust out burn it down performance.  Simon sez, 'better than last week'.  Still issues with lack of personality and her robotic ways.  You know she reminds me of Lisa Marie Presley a bit.  Has a real fuck you look on her face a bit.  Listen, this girl is much hotter than Lauren Conrad or Heidi Montag.  Really, I'd rather watch her clowning around on tv, than singing.  

Nurse Rocker - singing Joan Jett and pretty much the same act as her past ones.  But atleast it doesn't sound like she is in a Janis Joplin Tribute Band.  This girl has a great voice...it's just not for this competition to me.  She does have a nice performance though.  You know, she would have been good in that RockStar Supernova competition.  Or like Amy Lee in Evanescence.   Wow, Simon gives her MAD props.  You know, when she smiles she is a really pretty girl.  That hair matches her personality too..a halo of blondie backed by a mop of darkness.  

Carly singing ...um...I have no idea.  I drove all night song.  This song is the stupidest song I've ever heard of.  Tonite, it's very interesting to me, my husband has commented on all the clothing.  Again, these pants look horrible on her, according to my hub.  Funny.  Very funny.  Simon hated the song.  OH, it's a Celine song.  No wonder I didn't like it.  Wow, her mom is a beautiful lady.  How sweet is that.  Her mom is here from Ireland.

Kristy Lee Cook is going to sing Journey.  I LOVE Journey.  Will she sing "Open Arms" or "City Lights"?  Wow, she sings Faithfully.  That last note was a little rocky though.  And she could have put a little more into it.  I think it was not so good, it wasn't bad, for me...but I think there were some high points.  Pauler looks like she is rubbing on Simon.  What is she doing, besides adding new words to the vocabulary "Positivity".  My hub makes a good observation...he thinks people pick songs they like, not necessarily what's best for them, because they can remember the words!  I think that makes sense.

Ramiele - Phil Collins, Take a Look At me Now, Isn't that the song I was thinking of last night?  From the Against All Odds soundtrack.  This girl has some pipes.  I think she sings great.  She has a mature inflection in her singing, and many levels to her performances.  I really like her.  I do like that they changed the dairy queen whip hairdo, and a more balanced style on her little head tonite. Pauler, I swear to God, I am so lost by your comments.  She's drunk again.  Skitzo.  Simey sez she is little and cute and a little old fashioned.  Whatevs.  She isn't exactly the whole package peeps.  I fear I cannot see a big following for her. And they dressed her like someone on the set of The Office.  She looks like Angela in Accounting.  

Brook White is singing Pat Benatar next.  She sings sitting on the edge of the stage.  Not sure what I think about this...it's a bit boring.   The words repeat to much to just sing this only accompanied by a guitar.  I think her voice is different, but is it a power house vocal, nope.  I agree with Pauler, it would have been neat if the band came in later...Simon disagrees with both of us.  And he really liked it.  You know, I find it funny that they let Simon go last...it's like we don't even care what Randy and Pauler say.  We just want Pauler to shut it and get on to Simey.

Wow, we are down to Syeshia now.  I like her.  Wow, they ran outta time and told the judges to make it quick and bust it outta there.  Good, good, and good.  That girl got ripped off.  If she goes home, I'd sue them for unfair bias.  Or something.  ha ha.

You know, these people have the stupidest most embarrassing moments.  Like I have dozens that are more devastating than theirs.  Like the time I fell off my platform shoes in 1th grade outside the Drama Lab and I was so devastated that I pretended I fainted, and they ran and got the school nurse.  Tell me I didn't know how to act.  I was a born Drama Queen.  

Ok, who's off tonite?  Kristy Lee Cook and Kady Malloy.  Well, tomorrow night we get to see Blake Lewis.  Who?  Yeah, um, he was runner up to Jordin last year.  

bye now.

The Boys Are Back

Ok, disclaimer...I am sick.  Not feeling at the top of my game.  And so, this post is going to suck. 

There.

Ok, let me first start by saying I have cast my vote for Luke and David stripper boy to go home this week.  And Kristy Lee Cook plus Nurse Freaky to say bye.     So, with that said, here we go...

Luke Menard.  That is the gayest of G. Michael's collection.  The only thing he could have picked worse is Boy George.  Hated it. 

David Archuleta.  Ok, he's just so amazing.  He has turned a song I hate from Phil Collins into something I actually like.  Awesome arrangement, and he's talented pianist.  What a great performance.  Ok, so the judges need to not make him too hugely great, because as I've told everyone, if he starts out on top, he only has down to fall down.  So they have to find some crap to pick on him about.  So, Simon tells him to lighten up.  Oh, and tells America he is in the final 2.  Be CAREFUL.  America will stop voting for him when they think he is a shoo in.  Case in point, Daughtry.

Danny Noriega.  OMG, Danny YOU are tmth, you and your Tainted Love.  This is the suckiest thing I have seen since my boss got drunk at the Christmas party.  Listen, I know the songs are from the 80's but did he have to dress in parachute pants?  I did not like this crap, but I feel like if he had a dimmer flame, I would be able to hear his vocals.  I do like his smile.  And his cute little teeth.   Simon hates him.  Absolutely useless.

BTW:  Simon is so done with drunk Pauler tonite.  She is just so diarhhea of the mouth tonite.

David...my most embarrassing moment...when America found out I used to strip at a gay men's club.  Well, maybe not.  Listen, I'm not here to judge what he did to pay the bills.  He does have a voice, but not the total package, and I just don't see him backing up the vocals with personality.  Ok, I think I just heard Simon say "not bad for a stripper" as he was singing the last note.  I swear.   So, really, I think I could see him singing in a boy band, I guess.  Maybe i have been to quick to rate him.  I may change my votes.

Michael is next.  Don't You Forget About Me, from Breakfast Club.  ONE OF MY FREAKIN' FAVORITE SonGS EVAH!  Simple Minds.  He did a great job.  I really liked that performance...alot.  This guy just seems so much older than all the others.  He just seems like he probably gets back to the hotel and reads Shakespeare and drinks a spot of tea.

David Cook...gads...there are 3 davids in this show right now.  Brotha'.  Ok, here goes rocker with the e-guitar.  Another Phil Collins...isn't this off a movie soundtrack?  Back to Google,  OK, I was so wrong on that one.  Lionel Ritchie.  I was thinking about Against All Odds.  I told you I am sick.  But really, I liked this a whole lot.   Simon, gives him a big "I loved it".  

Jason Castro  - I dreaded that embarrassing story, but not as much as I dread having to finish listening to him on this song.  What are dreads all about?  Hair snakes on your head.  Why?  It better pick up.  Ok, it's a good vocal, I guess, but what a fucked up song to choose.  I hate it.  He wasted a chance for us to see him be something interesting...atleast to me.  I have a feeling that it's probably some artsy fartsy song that is like good, but it's lost on me.  In the 80's I was into Garth Brooks.  Enough Said.  Sorry.

Ok, now, let's just play a little game...can anyone remember any of the first 4 people's names kicked off this season?  It was just 2 weeks ago...can you remember?  I can remember the 2 boys, but not the girls.  Not at all.  

Chikezie - these embarrassing stories have got to stop.  I think he's doing a great job with this song.  He has the same voice as Rueben.  He's good.  He really is smooth.  I can't get past his baby bear looks though.  But I do think he is getting better each week.  I like the smoothness of his vocals.  Simon is being a real turd ferguson tonite.

Ok, I don't know who I will vote off this week.  I think Luke and Danny Noriega.  

Bye now.  I'm going to see who is winning the primary races and hitting the bed.   You know, I liked the 80's.  Good times.  You know what would be fun?  Rent all the brat pack movies...The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, Sixteen Candles and St. Elmo's Fire.  They do not make movies like those anymore.  Molly Ringwald rules.  Whatever happened to Judd Nelson?  Demi Moore and Rob Lowe became the most famous of all of those people..and Jon Cryer on "Two and a Half Men".  

RED ALERT:  I am NOT going to bed.  TONITE is the premiere episode of THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK CITY.  Ok, rich bitches in the city of Gotham.  What's not to love here people?  Gotta go.

Idol Strippers...what to do, what to do?

Well, today I was greeted at my cube by 2 people wanting to know what I think about our Idol Stripper.  Well, I don't really care.  All I could think about was the time that my college roommate and I went out to a club and got a little more than we bargained for.  It was "Ladies Night" which meant they brought in some "bow shika bow wow" booty shakers of the stripper variety.  And who do you think was up there shaking his groove thang, in a leapard speedo?  My roommates boyfriend.  STUNNER.  He was a sneaky stripper.  Stripping on the downlow.  People, I had to have a few ribs reattached, I was laughing so hard.  And she was, of course, about to vomit.  All I could do was focus on the size of his winky...which was not so impressive, as I recall, but it could have been cold up there.  Oh, oh, my God, I just remembered his name was Bart.  And she was a prissy bitch and this just put her right into her place.  

I don't remember anything else because we got drunk and she broke up with him at the end of his act.  Good times.  Good times.

Ebay...the encyclopedia for shopping

How many of you go to Ebay to find out about how much something costs?  I was watching Saturday Night Live (on Sunday night...haha) and Ellen Page had that hamburger phone in her monologue.  From Juno, for those of who who didn't see it.  

Quick I switch to Ebay and find there are 63 of them currently on auction.  How funny.  You can find anything in the world on that website.  I hate to admit, I just won an auction for a bra!  It was $82.00 at Nordstrom, and I got it for $19.50.  Whoo Hoo...I ain't too proud.  It had the tags on it, and that's all I care about.

My husband lost an auction on a boat part and I thought he would cry.  So sad.  I told him...worry not, little one.  A new one will post in a matter of days.  And you might win that one.  And he did!  ha.  I loves the ebay.  

Well, it was a somewhat boring, yet exhausting weekend.  I got the hairdresser report, gossiping at the beauty salon with a couple of chicks about Idol.  No one likes the Nurse.  Ugh.  Some people think David is too good too soon, and I agree.  

Hey, did you hear that Jordin Sparks is opening up for Alicia Keys 20 city tour?  Shazam girl.  That's awesome.

I got fired up and wrote my first "letter to the editor" tonite.  My town is about to have the dubious distinction of being the first city in America to file bankruptcy.  Now with the amount of money I spend, my tax revenue alone should be able to stave off this crisis.  But alas, no.   I'll let you know if they publish me.  

xoxo.

Cole