New Show Alert: Newlywed Nearly Dead

Just as I finished my last post about what I am watching on tv, it occurs to me I forgot one...Newlywed Nearly Dead.  Oddly, it's a reality tv show on the Fine Living Network.  Ok, so you go from watching a show about rich wasteful and vapid wealthy people, to these goofy newlyweds with marriage issues.  It's a disconnect for me...I'm just saying...but anyhoo...

A husband and wife are both given a video camera and charged with documenting what it is about their spouse that pisses them off. OMG, the stuff they show. Husbands snoring, wives nagging, crabby wife in morning, poor grooming habits, terrible driving skills...and so forth and so on. And then the marriage counselor dude, this calm greying nice man,  see picture below, gives each of them a nickname...like the Bitchy time management wife is called Bossy Boots. The man that chews with his mouth open with food flying out is called ManPig. You get the idea. It's quite hilarious actually.

What's fascinating is that every bad thing we have seen about the wives, Greg claims I have that character flaw as well. WHAT? Me???

Naturally, after every episode, we are in an argument and I'm flipping through the yellow pages for the divorce attorneys. However, we have decided to turn it into free marriage counseling instead of letting it drive us to divorce. He's right, I am Hurricane Cole, leaving paths of destruction where ever I roam in the house. Kitchen table has work papers and laptop, both couches have cushions rearranged to make room for my laptop and magazines. My chair has newspapers on the ottoman, and fingernail polish on the end table. Horrors! Call Oprah, this house is ready for condemning..the cushions are askew and the magazines aren't stacked properly. How can we live like this? Were we raised by wolves?  He needs a chill pill.  His garage is sometimes messy too.  He just keeps his toys in the garage.  Mine are in the house.

Now, on to him. He's not affectionate. He won't hug me when I ask for a hug...because he says he doesn't like to be told when to show love...he wants to do it on his own. Whatever freak, he has issues with being told what to do period...thanks to his parents, I get to deal with that emotional baggage for the rest of my life, just because they told him not to smoke pot and go to school.  He needs to get over it. So, today, he gave me a hug before I got out of bed. See? That show is working! Free marriage counseling. And he went to the bank for me today, and I only asked once. Didn't have to con him by offering up cash or anything. However, that was a mistake...a little side story here...it seems little Coley has had some issues with paying the bills lately. We got a notice that our water was being shut off. Oops...I forgot to pay the bill. I pay online, and sure enough, no payment since April. Yikers. Then yesterday, we get a check in the mail from the home insurance company, saying we overpaid by $200.00. OMG, I'm such a dumbass. So, I was asking him to deposit the check, and he had to sign it, which meant I had to confess my mistake. Ummm, let's just say I hope that doesn't show up as a topic on the next episode of Newlywed Nearly Dead.

But there is some real humor that has come out of this too. Last night, when driving up the street from Home Depot, we see our friend running out to his truck, so we slow down, roll down windows, and shout out to him. He runs over, out of breath, and says, "Hey, I have to make this quick, I'm already late to dinner and she's yelling at me". We were like, "Um, ok, well, Hi...have fun at Disneyland this week, we'll check on your house, see ya'"...and off we went.

I looked at Greg and said, "He's married to Bossy Boots". We bust out laughing.

xoxo