No kidding...4 houses to the left of me...garage broken into...bikes stolen. Four houses to the right of me...cameras and computers stolen,,,and the balls of these criminals, they broke in while the poor victims were inside sleeping!!! And today, we discover that we were also victims of a crime...someone syphoned all the gas out of our boat. For fuck's sake...it's come to stealing our fucking gas out of our cars. Normally, our boat stays in storage but hubby is working on it...and they stole our liquid gold, right there in the street.
Seriously, I am starting to have problems sleeping. We have a burglar alarm and we arm it at all times, but so did the other people, and they still broke in...(although the dummies didn't have the alarm on, because they were home...doh!)
I made little flyers for our meet, greet and bitch session this afternoon. I also registered our ghetto, I mean neighborhood, on this website called I-Neighbors.org. And if these people register, we can email blast to them all when someone gets robbed or whatever.
What does one where to a Neighborhood chat session? I'm making cupcakes, cookies and a jug of lemonade. I'm a little nervous. I don't even know but about 10 of the 50 people I invited, but I guess that's what it's all about. Do you think the Alcoholics Anonymous approach is a good guide?
"Hi, I'm Cole and I've been robbed."
"Welcome, Cole. Share with us your story."
"Well, I was stupid and left my Lexus unlocked, and some dirt bag ransacked my interior...stole my watch and a coupon for a free box of chocolates."
"We're sorry to hear that. Was this your first experience with crime?"
"Nope, just a month earlier, I left my briefcase in the back seat, and they smashed my window out and stole my bag."
"We're also sorry that you are so stupid, you didn't know not to leave valuables in sight of criminals. We're done with you. NEXT"
So, someone I need to avoid looking like a dumbo to these people. I would have called the cops to see if someone would come give a speech. But, our town is bankrupt and they no longer come to investigate crimes unless blood or bullets is involved. If blood AND bullets are involved, they use the lights and the sirens when they drive the speed limit (gas saving) to the murder scene. I called the other day to report a NON emergency issue, and never reached anyone. This dumbass lady left her kid in the parking lot all by herself in the heat, windows rolled up, but the car was running. I guess she had the air on, but what about kidnapping? She was about 10 years old. My friend said it isn't a crime if she comes back in 15 minutes. Lord, I treat my cats better than some humans get cared for. Sad.
Well, back to my neighborhood gathering. So, there is this one house in the hood where these ghetto rats took a beautiful 2 story home (paid 660,000 for it) and parked a dead ass boat and car ON THE LAWN. Ok, like no kidding. I hope they don't come, because agenda item number one is getting a petition signed to get the city laws enforced. Garbage cans behind the gates and NO BOATS in driveways. Or abandoned cars. I almost didn't even give them a flyer. Nasty!
Anyway, happy Sunday. Can't wait to tell you all about my meeting...and by the way...I am going on vacay on Tuesday...to the gates of hell...aka Dallas, TX where it is 107 today and 3 people have died due to heat exposure. I feel a rash coming already. My mom is coming and we plan to sit inside eating ice cream, drinking iced tea and leave only to go to the movies and stop to buy more ice cream. And the mall of course. 'Cuz no trip to Texas is complete without some site-seeing of the big hair Dallasites at Neiman Marcus. One time DeeDee and I went there and all we could afford at the time was some petit fours at the bakery. They were like $2.00 for a one inch square of cake with icing. Later when DeeDee became a lawyer, she ordered an entire box for Easter via mail. She was so proud.
xoxo
2 comments:
Cole, Be careful "hosting" the event in your home - you may be inviting the burglars over. Seriously!
The problem with burglar alarms is once you cut the telephone wire they don't go to the center station anymore. I think they still go off but the panel doesn't work. In my neighborhood all the unlocked cars were robbed last week. You wouldn't believe all the people who leave their cars unlocked. Good luck with your meeting!
NJ Fan
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