Welcome to Coley B's Blog-O-Rama of Drama

Blogstress, Cole Bronn, writes little tidbits and occasionally rants about American Idol and other celebrity gossip. And she knits too.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Where have I been?

Well, today has really opened my eyes up to the fact that people actually care that I write this flippin' blog. I'm sorry, but I do have a hard time realizing that this is not just me writing into a black hole. People actually read it, some people can't start their day without it (tink) and some people use it as a GPS device of my personal life (seester). So, I must apologize for only posting once every week in the past 2 weeks.

FYI, to Susan the co-worker...I post my email address on this blog for a reason. I am perfectly happy with getting email. Lots of people that read this blog write me outside the comments...Tink and Jeffro to name a few. I love hearing from readers one-on-one. So no need to write an email to DeeDee, to check up on me. Just send ME the email and I'll let you know I am not in trouble, as you suspect. Thanks for worrying about me. Someone needs to!!!

So, let me catch everyone up on my thoughts on things. In no particular order of importance. Random musings.

1. I'm putting everyone with kids on notice. If you don't want them to hear cursing, keep them out of earshot of me. I cussed in front of 4 kids in 3 separate incidents this week. Embarrassing. I can't believe what a potty mouth I have (yes I can, but it's rude to say I don't care, and don't plan to change,isn't it) , and don't even realize it (lie). Usually I am telling a funny story that kids shouldn't be listening to anyway. As a matter of fact, kids shouldn't be present at ANYTHING I attend. What the fuck happened to the babysitter? Extinct as the inhabitants of Jurassic Park. (can't spell taradachtyl, but that's the word I wanted to use here. I digress) Kids at a wedding where I'm drinking a martini? scratch. Kids at the lunch table AT WORK, just because school hasn't started? Scratch. Kids Kids everywhere kids. I hate them. Well, hate is a strong word. I'm jealous of their clear skin and bright outlook on life. Therefore I want to either scratch their eyes out or scar them for life.

2. TV: Listen, I just can't do a recap of a tv show other than American Idol. Nothing inspires me. And Idol is just ...well...it's IDOL. As much as I love Project Runway, and I do, I just can't watch the show and type at at the same time.

3. Went to my first gay wedding reception yesterday. Fabulous. Hot guys kissing hot guys...and these were the guests! ha. Hands down the best hors deuvres I've ever eaten. They passed around mini cheeseburgers with awesome fancy cheese and fried leeks. And tiny cones of ahi tuna, and tiny polenta cubes with jalapenos...mmm...oh and lemongrass shrimp in a tiny spoon, that you had to shove the whole bite in at once. Grossly unladylike. And the dessert was equally fantabulous. Big spoons with bread pudding drizzled with bourbon sauce. Like a bread pudding pop. Umm seriously killer food. Those gays don't mess around.

4. Mad Men. I'm sorry I suggested it to anyone without telling you to watch the first season first. It would not make any sense to a newcomer to season 2. You don't even know who Peggy slept with in the office that fathered that child she was forced to let her sister raise. They did a terrible job of flashbacks. For those that did see Season 1, Season 2 is awesome and is not disappointing this writer.

5. Sheer Genius: Ok, I do have a few things to say. I am pissed off that Daniel from Dallas got booted. I loved him and don't give a shit if dumbass Nicole, Lezbo Dee, or Charlie tuna wins. Charlie is the best of the last 3, but he's a bitch. I wouldn't let him touch my hair with a ten foot pole. Jaclyn Smith cries so much, I wonder if she took judging lessons from Pauler Abdul. Waterworks. I was sitting in the chair on Saturday, having my locks frosted, getting all foiled up, discussing the whole show with my stylist, Jule. Now Jule and I agree that Kim Vo just ain't right. What the hell? Those lips, those eyes, that Jack O Lantern giant grin? He's a cartoon. And the hottie judge that sounds like Arnold Schwartzeneggar...can barely pronounce English...well, who cares, turn down the volume, he's hot.

6. Video gaming: Ok, I have worked at the factory of EA for nearly 10 years. And I think I am about to purchase my first console. I'm getting a Wii. I played Rock Band on Friday for the first time. And I loved it. I was on bass, and we were 'performing' a classic hit, "My Sharonna". OMG. Mah mah mah MY EYE EYE EYE Sharooooonnnnah. Whoo! LOVES it. I also want a Wii Fit. They are sold out everywhere though. Ugh.

7. I was on vacation in Texas. I had a little incident with my little 9 year old nephew. He got mad, he cried, I yelled, and guess what? It was all caught on voicemail. My fucking phone 'purse dialed' (definition of purse dial: something presses against a key long enough to activate a speed dial number, and calls the person, unbeknowst to you, and if their voicemail picks up, they hear every word you say). Unfortunately, it purse dialed my BOSS, and he kept it to replay to me upon my return to the office. It was hysterical, and embarrassing. Ha. And he said he would not call Child Protective Services this time, but to watch out.

8. New tv is coming back soon. Gossip Girl Sept 1. Dirty Sexy Money, October. Lots of good tv watching. Can't wait.
9. Project Runway: Favorite episode ever was the Drag Queen Parade. Did you love it when one of them, as he/she's exiting, shouts out "Call me TIM!!!" And Tim blushes and giggles. Sometimes I wish I was a gay man. They have all the fun. But I would not be any of the gay men on this season. That Tanorexic Blake is weird. I'm thinking JOE wins this season. Or one of the big hair black sisters. Maybe someone from Sheer Genius could go over and style their do? Or snap on some wigs

Ok, that's all for now.

xoxo Coley

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Glad you are back and catching up...we do miss you.
Your 'purse dial' story was the worst! How does it always happen with the wrong person? But I can beat you or at least tie. My 'purse dial' was to my ex-husband. I had just finished a 'business' call to him, hung up and put phone in pocket (pocket dial?) Of course I was talking shit about him when I hung up, complaining to a vendor etc. He heard everything, called the vendor's place of business and asked to speak to me. Unsuspecting, I answered and he very calmly told me my phone was on. I said thanks, hung up and then realization hit me smack in the gut! Serious lesson that day......always bought a flip phone after that and now I love my iphone...it locks!
V-town Shopgirl

Jeffro said...

Cole you rock. So you can't find it in yourself to blog about project runway?? That's cool. It was only money. I'll drink your kool aid any day. That didn't sound stalkish did it?? Keep up the great work. I heard the new idol judge is a pistol. very opinionated.

Jeffro