Ok, I'm posting my latest trauma drama for a few reasons....
1. How many times do you actually get to say "I broke my neck"? And no paralysis!!!
2. I'm such a tough bitch, I didn't know I broke my neck. Isn't that cool?
3. I still don't know how I broke my neck or when, and my doctor looks at me from the xray and back at the xray and says "Seriously, did you fall, get in a car accident, get bludgeoned by a crazy person?". No to all 3.
4. My seester only knows about my life through my blog. It's a family pack to call all members with bad news immediately, because we don't want anyone to not find out and not be able to worry incessantly to the full potential. Also, every member needs equal opportunity to spew forth with unsolicited advice and to cause the person in pain more worry with additional worries. But Seester does not answer her phone regularly. It's up to her discretion. It's her way of regulating the above worry and advice. So, here's the scoop.
Technically, a bone in my neck is broken. But saying I have a broken neck is more fun. We all know how special I am. And I'm so special that I grew an extra rib in my neck. I have an extra rib. Really fitting for a Texan. Well, the problem with an extra rib is, there isn't room for it. So it has somehow gotten in the way one too many times and decided to crack and lose a big chunk. Now where is that chunk, I want to know. Is it floating toward my brain? Headed to my heart? Can we track it with those paddles they use on pregnant women's bellies? I need that bone chip found. I don't like random stuff going rogue in my body, do you?
So, I find it's most fun telling my husband, "I can't get up and answer the phone...I have a broken neck." "I can't carry laundry baskets, I have a broken neck." I wonder what else I'll be able to avoid due to neck issues.
Stay tuned...
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3 comments:
i leave you and you are falling apart. man i have missed the blog. THE MAN is on the watch so I need to keep my reading blogs to my home life :)
and wouldnt you know i need to be at work earlier now? ain't that a bitch. i was getting used to rolling in at 930. shoot.
and um hello A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila? Making Menudo? Anyone with me? So bad it's good.
Ok -- Daddy clued me in this morning thusly . . .
"Hey! Didja hear about your sister's extra rib?!?"
I'm flying down Interstate 30 on my way to the State Fair o' Texas on my 19th day to sling some more lipstick at the FATTEST PEOPLE ON SCOOTERS ON THE PLANET and it's pouring down rain (of course) and I can barely hear him, so my response was . . . wait for it . . .
"HUH?!?"
"yeah. she's got an extra rib. and it's pressin' on sumpin' it's not spozed to and causin' her all kinds a' trouble."
(Ok . . . Daddy's not an idiot, just embellishing the Texas accent. But not by much.)
He did NOT use the part about the broken neck, so you obivously didn't play that up quite spectacularly enough. I appreciate getting the full effect from the bloggy.
So! I'm glad you have a good hubby to take care of you. Little known fact about Coleyoleyo . . . not fun when she's sick. There's moaning. Lots of drama.
Seester
Lu . . . Tila Tequila was a riot. Especially the fashion show and she looked over and said, "Hey! It looks like the Lesbian Village People over there!" Priceless.
Seester (again)
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