Project Runway - Night #3

Who's ready for some fashion fabulosity or runway roadkill? I am...I am. Now people, I have yet to find a favorite this season. Personality wise...it's a season of meh... I think that tanorexic freak is weird for the sake of being weird...to gain attention. He keeps coming up with "hi Tim-alicious" and everything is 'alicious'...and he's trying to coin his own phrase, ala Christian and "it's fierce". Or my personal favorite, "hot tranny mess"...which ironically, I would call Blaine a tanny tranny mess. I bet he smells like burnt skin. Ewww....

Stella is entertaining. I would love to go to lunch with her, because you could laugh at her in the face and she would SO not care.

Now these African American women...the two of them are like battling for who has the biggest, baddest wig. They are just a couple of hair bags.

On to the clothes. Overall, there was a great divide for me...either you made the shiteous thing I've seen hang on a human form, or something so SPECTACULAR. Start watching the show and pay attention that they never show all the outfits...usually the best and the worst don't get shown in the Tim Review.

Sandra Bernhardt...I'm sorry, but time has not been kind to that tranny. Madonna did not share girlfriend secrets with her former lesbo galpal. Her hair looks like she was going for dredlocks, and lost patience and switched to a fat curling iron. A big fat doodoo roll mess of snakes coming from her skull.

Another thing about this cast of contestants. Most of these women (atleast 4 of them) are the homeliest, plainest, freakishly plain Jane-ish girls I've ever seen in my life. Bad haircuts, greasy skin, bland voices...so uninspirational...the only thing they inspire me to do is double down on anti depressants.

For me, there is just not enough Michael Kors in this show. I loves me some Heidi, but I love that comment he made tonite...the placement of those ruffles was just INSANE...he is the best drama diva dude ever.

So, in the end, it comes down to 2 of the plain janes, two girls who never met a mascara wand in their lives. They need to pay a little more attention in the Tresemme hair salon and Loreal Paris Makeup center.

So, I'm glad that she's outta here. And these people need to step it up. Stop putting crap on the runway. Come ON.

By the way, the next show...Shear Genius, is becoming one of my favorites. It's on next. THere is a gay dude from Dallas named Daniel, and when I am in Texas next week, before I melt, I plan to find him in a salon somewhere. There is a straight girl and there is a lesbo on there that has a crush on her. It's so freaking funny. One of the judges is Kim Vo, who did Britney's hair...and even Perez Hilton. ha.

So, that's it for tonite peeps. No big good drama tonite.

xoxox

What'd You Do This Weekend?

As best I can tell, this weekend sort of marked the official middle of Summer. Of course, in Northern California, we have Indian Summer to look forward to, with Sept and October being the best weather ever. I was married in Napa on Oct. 14 and it was 85 degrees that day.

So, what did this weekend bring to you?

Here's what I did.

WENT TO SEE STEPBROTHERS. OMG, that was the funniest shit ever. If you love Will Ferrell or John C. Reilly, you will LOVE LOVE LOVE this hilarious movie. Ok, so I expected it to be like fart humor and stupid stuff, and that's there, but the plot and some of the scenes are more than you can imagine. All I can say is "Bros and Hoes". Go see it, and you won't be sorry. FYI it's rated R so some of the shenanigans are way better than a PG 13 movie. Plus the use of the word FUCK out of sweet little Mary Steenburgen's mouth made it worth the price of admission alone.

Of course I did laundry. I even tested out the "SteamFresh" cycle, which is supposed to refresh clothes that aren't dirty, just wrinkled and need...well...refreshing. So, I throw 5 tshirts in, not wanting to iron them, and turn the bad boy on...then I read the instructions...and find that 100% cotton is not recommended. ha ha. Too late. Turned out ok though.

Bought $150.00 worth of lingerie on closeout at some wacko website with all this stuff 50% off. That was fun.

Must go now, so that to top off my weekend, I am watching MAD MEN. Oooh...can't wait.

xoxo

Kiss Kiss ...Project Runway Contestants, Daniel and Wesley, Are Dating

Wesley Nault may have been ousted from Project Runway on Wednesday night, but there’s a silver lining for the designer — he’s happily dating a fellow Runway contestant.
Nault (far left), 23, confirmed to PEOPLE that he’s in a relationship with fellow season 5 contestant, Daniel Feld (near left), 25.
“We met on the show,” Nault told PEOPLE. “And we tried to keep it very professional on the show because we were both there for our careers, and we didn’t expect this to come out of it. But I’m really happy.”
Speculation about a relationship between Project Runway contestants – a first for the Bravo show – began online after fashion bloggers noted that both designers listed that they were “in a relationship” on their MySpace pages. And both listed each other as a “top friend.”

Runway’s executive producer Jane Lipsitz also confirmed to PEOPLE that two of this season’s contestants were dating each other, but never specifically named them.
“I am shocked that they’re talking about this, I really am,” Nault says about the buzz surrounding his relationship. “I’m shocked it’s such a big deal.”
And rest assured, Runway fans, the designing duo are going strong. “We’re still together – and it’s going really well,” says Nault.
So well, in fact, that the two designers may have a professional collaboration to look forward to.
“Daniel and I are talking about possibly working on something together,” Nault says. “Everything’s in the works right now.” –Brian Orloff

Project Runway- Night #2

Well, right off the bat they shake it up.  Hurray, because if you have been watching all 4 seasons up to now, it can be a little cookie cutter.  

Models go shopping...for Earth friendly.  Oooh this is going to be a fashion frenzy flop.

OK, whiner Stella obviously did not get an attitude check from last week, and is slipping further into a catatonic tone of voice.  She should be robotic by next week.  She's gross. I hope she cuts off a finger.  And she is not listening to her model.  ha ha.  She's out.  I guarantee it.  And Suede, talks about himself in the third person.  He's a bisexual Sagitarius....omg, they called him out on 3rd person shit.  ha ha.    

Freaky flower girl is worried about Leann's circles.  Listen, you don't worry about other people's shit.  Keep your eyes on your own disaster and don't worry about the others.  You're all paranoid.  OK, Stella confirms what I just said.  I hate when I type and then they say it.  It makes me look like I'm copying them...or I am a genius.  Ok, let's go with that.

Tim is in to hawk eye.  This is one of my favorite parts of the show.

Ok, Suede's slasher dress is HEINOUS.  OMG, Tim says he is excited?  

Super cool...young Hollywood star is a guest judge.  OMG, who is it.  Heidi Montag?  Please don't let it be lameass Hillary Duff.  Make it a glamour puss.  Maybe Natalie Portman.  Or one of the Gossip Girls.  Or Whitney from The Hills.  THAT would be SO COOOL.  

Everyone is making fun of leather Stella.  Lethuh.  I love your lethuh face. 

Bisexual suede is making a move on Daniel by making his bed for him.  So sweet.  hee hee.  Now back in the sewing room Daniel is about to pee pee his britches.  Now this is also another favorite part of the show.  Everything looks shitty...and then on the runway it turns out couture.  Lethuh burns her model bitch.  OMG.  dumbass.  

Ok, let's get to the young Hollywood starlet.  Can't wait.  Don't disappoint me dammit.  Dang, I called that shit didn't I?  I know she lives in NYC and I almost picked Anne Hathaway but she was busy with Get Smart.  Lord I know too much about these celebs.

Ok, runway show is over, and you know, that shit was pretty cool.  Most shocking was the freaking peacock feather dress to me.  that was pretty innovative how he used those feathers at the bottom for fringe.  

High collar dress is first...I loved this...and so did the judges.

Brown dress #1 is a wrinkled wreck.  20 sets of human hands mauled that dress according to MK.  Stella and her lethuh ass may actually live another week.  The wing dress in gold is described as having fins off her dress.  MK is in fine form this season.  Mauler Suede is going to win this shit tonite.  I guarantee. Uh Oh, Leanne's model throws her under the bus.  I believe in the bottom 2 we might have a brown dress battle for the bottom.

Oh the tears being shed behind the black curtain, already.  Now our results...Suede will win.  I guarantee.  YES>...I am 2 for 2.  OMG.  And I called it.  It's the battle of the brown shit at the bottom.  Wesley, you are out, just for wearing those red shoes, and shorts on the runway with your chicken bone legs.  FREAK.  You're out.  Whoo Hoo....3 for 3.  I have been watching this shit too long and I get the hints in the critiques.  I should have started an office pool on this show, I'd be winning some bank!

Hope you enjoyed fashionistas...another week of the House of Heidi has come to a close.  

Next up, I watch Shear Genius.  I love Charlie.  And the lesbo hitting on the hot Latin straight married chick.  It's a hoot.   

xoxo

The HILLS trailer for Season 4 is up for viewing!!!

Click here  ok,...umm cut and paste the scribble below into your browser, because I am so lame I can't figure out how to make a hyperlink on this butthole MAC.  BLOGGER thinks everyone uses Windows in their HELP docs.

Anyway, this the Season 4 trailer for THE HILLS.  

http://www.mtv.com/overdrive/?id=1591256&vid=259814

Here's my thoughts on this trailer.

1. I don't give a shit if it is scripted.  I love scripted tv as much as reality.  Bitches fighting over hot guys and back stabbing is great.  Atleast scripted they get it RIGHT, the cameras are in the right place and the lighting is dramatic.  Bring on the scripts.
2. Brody Jenner.  OMG I think he is MY Dreamboat.  Sorry but I love everything about him and when his show "Bromance" on MTV comes out, I will be a faithful viewer.  Produced by Ryan Seacrest.  Sounds fun.  Brody is a momma's boy...and a womanizer...all wrapped up in a dark and steamy body that rocks the house people.  Uh Uh, finger linking good.
3. Audrina.  If I was a lesbot, she'd be my dreamgirl.  She is exotic and I am fascinated by her apparent stupidity.  I can't believe she can get dressed in the morning.  Albeit she barely wears clothes but she doles out words as if she will be charged $1,000 per syllable.  She just stares at people.  I wish I could be like her.  A calm stare...and silence.  I never do that.  I think I will start.  
4. Whitney.  Whitney gets a boy.  Whitney gets a boy.  I love Whitney.
5. Lauren.  Lots of tears and mascara.  And drama with
6. Stephanie.  ShePratt is wearing the Devil juice as perfume and spreading her stink all around.  She is way more evil, as it is edited, than Spencer ever thought of being.  Seems she is cheating with Doug, who is 
7. Lauren's new boyfriend it appears is Doug.  Who is rich, it appears, since they are climbing aboard his private jet (pj for short)  Anyone with a pj should not be trusted not to cheat outside your time zone.  That's all I'm saying.  They can take their bad selfs far away to do their nasty deeds undetected.  
8. Lo.  Nice catfights with Lo and Audrina.  Lo is a wannabe.  She's smart, but isn't star quality.  She a hanger-on, just because she and Lauren used to share magic markers and juice boxes in 3rd grade.  Puh-leaze.  Leave your coloring book buddies where they belong...in the past.
9. Spencer and Heidi...they may not make many appearances in this season, since I just read on online that they plan a trip to Iraq.  My money is on them dieing in a sand storm before a bullet gets anywhere near them.
10. Heidi's sister.  Ok, so first it's Spencer's sister, Stephanie, and now it's Heidi's sister has come to town?  Hmmm.  Let's hope she stirs the shit up just like the other one.  

So, that's it people.  New season starts August 18?? or something around then.  I'll get it to you when the time is closer.  

xoxo

PS Jeffro, don't even bother.