Note to Britney:
Girl...you so did not need that sleezy magician Chris Angel, to make you disappear. That horrendous opening act was quite enough for the entire nation to say..."You're Done".
And girl...another thing. Your bikini wearing days are over...it's going to take a coal miner to dig that diamond out of your belly button, it's lodged so far in there. I mean, if you are willing to give up your 6 Starbucks a day habit, maybe, but everytime I see you, you've got the Caramel Macchiato in one hand and remnants of a muffin in the other.
And another thing girl...Barbie called and she wants her wig back. That hair was attrocious. Did you let Sean Preston style your hair tonite?
And finally, girl...sorry to report, but I just took the vote poll over at People.com and the question was simple>>>did Britney Sizzle or Fizzle. 88% reported a big fat FIZZLE.
You better pick up some M&M's on your way to Trade School...get yourself an edumacation, 'cuz it's going to take all the money you gots to get that act off YouTube and disappear. And the way that fat ass Perez is mocking you these days...oh girl you are in his gay little crosshairs and it's not going to let up for a while. You could always fire back making fun of his mustache which looks like pubic hair misplaced on his upper lip. He's a wreck and now he's invaded E!...my channel. Ugh.
Mmm Mmm Mmm. sad sad sad.
5 comments:
I'm watching it now and doing a combo of laughing hysterically and staring with my mouth open because I can't believe she's doing this. She's awful! Worst lipsynching ever and she couldn't even remember the dance moves!
I LOVE IT! I was hoping she would suck and she did! :)
I was hoping for the audience to BOOOOOOO her so she knows how the public feels about her. But, y'all, she has some fans left, and America loves a comeback. Granted, this wasn't her come back night, but she will keep trying. Her new manager should be fired though. Unless she truly railroads her team and makes decisions on her own while she and Cousin/Friend Ally are driving the wrong way on Sunset Blvd.
I love that girlfriend even couldn't keep her nails on. She is trainwrecktastic.
OMG I was hoping for a train wreck settled in with my popcorn and chardonnay but MY GOD I never expected that she would show up looking worse than I do in a bathing suit, that is what it was, wasn't it?, pretending to sing a song. How does that happen when your lips aren't moving? I had to rewind my dvr and watch it a few times to see if it really was that bad AND IT WAS!!! She needs to just go quietly into the sunset with her kids and find a new career. Perhaps a phone order clerk or something that America doesn't have to look at her for her to do. See what drinking and drugs do to you. Poor girl.
If Britney can open the VMA's with that, look for me at the Grammy's. I'll be the one wearing the speedo holding a tub of Ben and Jerrys.
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