Ladie's Night

Please help me invent a name for crappy performances that are worse than Karaoke in Japantown? Crappy-oke. Too obvious. Pokey-oke...I want to stick sharp objects into my ears? Last night the song choices made me feel like I was at a Wake for the passing of a famed karaoke artist. If there is such a thing. Ugh. Boring, sigh, bleh, ugh....mashpotatoes. bland. yeesh. (note my struggle not to cuss. It's against the law this week in California. Expletives return next week.)

Peeps, I must admit, this may be the last year for Idol. Unless they bring in a new set of judges next year when Simon is gone. I'm talking CLEAN SWEEP. Randy (dawg, for me, for you, I'm done) Jackson, Kara (goony goon goon) and Ellen...well, bloom is falling off that rose. And Simon has just checked out. OUT. Like he's picking lint from his belly button instead of paying attention. I'm starting to think the only thing that kept him awake in the past was worrying about Pauler starting to drool, or doing a faceplant into her drool.

So, Crystal Bowersox seems to have a lock on it, if peeps can get past the dreads and her hair. You know what dreads I'm talking about...those chompers that are the color of corn, complete with the missing vampire fangs, as my husband says. We don't mean to be unkind but simply point this out to the younger generation who are dissing the dentist and opting for the crack pipe and meth labs instead. I'm not calling her Crystal Meth or anything. Tetracycline can do that to you as well. But people, it's called Brite Smile. Look into it.

DiDi was good. Siabhan was crazy weird as usual. She looked dressed like a freaking Washington DC intern. Business, but only 1/2 way, with plenty of leg exposed for 'after hours'. Weirdness.

Hey Siobhan, Crystal Gayle called and she wants her flowers back. Really, it's sSOOO not even interesting. If you want to make a statement, utilize vintage brooches with rhinestones...hell, a cool spider web of diamonds would be fun. Flowers are lame.

I dread man night (no pun intended Crystal). I can't even tell you a guys name except hottie Casey who is this years Jason Castro. Maybe a little smarter. I have to admit, I only watch the performances this year, and none of the critiques past the first sentence they say. After that...blip blip blip.

I will hang in there peeps. I promise. i know it starts to ramp up after Top 10. Thursday nite, say goodbye to Lacey Brown and Paige whatever.