The Carnage Known as Auditions

Hey party peeps! I'm back with this week's recap of the past 2 weeks. (hence the length...2 weeks for the price of one!)

Why did I skip a week of recapping? Besides The Sims(tm) sucking the life out of me more than usual this week, Idol Worshippers, I must admit having to recover from the shell-shocking cruelty the judges dished on the contestants in week 1. I mean, we have cruelty to animal laws on the books in all 50 states for a reason. I know there is a saying in news "If it bleeds, it leads", and so it goes in Hollyweird...the wackier the better. I admit, I don't pass car wrecks without rubbernecking...and I guess some of those people were just Reality TV Roadkill. New respect for Jewel: She wasn't having any part of the nastiness. Did you see how she wouldn't hug or acknowledge Simon at the end of the day? Total diss. Joan Collins aka. Carol Bayer Sager: Tried to be nasty and then just got bored it seemed. Just how much plastic surgery could that woman have undergone? Did you see her "younger days" retrospective. That woman has used her millions to virtually reverse the aging process like no one I've ever seen. As Joan Rivers would say, she's currently breathing through her belly button. Oprah: Kissed Simon's ass on her show last week. He sent her about 500 roses to fill her studio. No mention why? Mmm. It's weird. More later. I smell a deal in the works with Harpo and Simon.

Now back to Idol. So I was reading this seasons first update below, and I was pretty clear on why I watch the show and love it. Week 2 brought me back to it. I found myself just really enjoying some real people that just want to take a shot at a dream. I love the brother and sister....now that's just pure innocence and fun. And the little BFFs (best friends forever) from NYC just made me laugh. You know there will be some drama to come when one of them goes and one stays. Can't wait. BFF drama rules in reality tv.

My favorite moment this season so far was the girl who ran away from OHIO to NYC to try out...and Ryan called her Dad by cellphone so they could soften the blow. I cried for that little girl. Because my Dad has supported every move I've ever made, I couldn't imagine someone being seen as a disappointment by their dad. And that, my friends is the kind of reality slice of life that makes me want to watch next week. I naively want to believe it wasn't staged and is REAL. Those are the 4 most important letters in REALity tv.

What's not real. That jackass Ian Bernardo. I hate to even give him a mention in this, but I do, only to point out where I think Idol fails. We are too savvy of viewers now...we know they go through 2 rounds of auditions before Randy and Paula and SC see anyone. So it's pretty obvious he got through for his weirdness. So now we have weirdo auditions on top of talented ones. They might as well call it the Weird and the Wonderful weeks. Don't pass them off as real auditions and insult us with "Randy, Yes or No?" comments from Cowell. Would I do away with the weirdos? Heck no. Miss out on the opportunity of seeing that crazy "boobs at my waist" chick with the look-alike Joey Ramone mom? Or the girl with the pink sheer sleeves that looked like she had a sunburn to Simon (and my husband). Anyone need a "Cowardly Lion" impersonator? Or how about the Soap Opera actress who decided to try for a 3rd time for Hollywood. My favorite song ever to be butchered..."Don't Wish Your [insert gender here]friend was hot like me?" was awesome.

Spoiler alert. Did you see the outtake with Olivia Newton-John as a guest judge? I bet Cowell hits on her. He's sort of pervy this season.

Big news and confession time. First the confession. I did not watch Season 1 of American Idol. Believe it or not. I found out about Kelly Clarkson the old fashion way. When her single "Breakway" released, I bought the cd. I am a true fan because of her music. Now for the big news: The CW Network (ch. 44) is re-running the entire Season 1 beginning tonite. Idol Rerun I think it's called. Starts at 10:00 PST tonite and airs several episodes all during the week. Cannot wait to see how she won the title. Bad news is I have to endure that Justin Guarini dweeb. But I will be happy knowing he loses during every episode I watch.

Other Idol news: Chris Daughtry had the #1 album on Billboard last week. 1.29 million sold. Yeah! I love him. Katharine McPhee drops her new cd on New Music Tuesday, Jan 30. Elliott Yamin and his Amazing $50,000 Chompers (not the name of his band, by the way) debuts his new cd March 20.

And finally, I saved the biggest news for last. Don't you just love it when 2 of your favorite things collide?
Well, imagine my excitement when I saw Kelly Clarkson and NASCAR have hooked up! She is the sound of Nascar beginning at SpeedWeek for the Daytona 500. It's like so exciting I can't stand it. I wish she would debut a new single that week...she is supposed to have a new cd out in February, which is when the Daytona 500 is, for you Nascar-illiterate.

Thanks for hanging with me on this long one. I get a little more wordy when writing from home. Would love to hear from you too. Please feel free to pass on your wisdom and wittiness, so we can all share in our love of Idol. I mean, if you don't love Idol, why are you reading this? Torture? Until next recap...

*Idol Up*