And then there were two...

So, as I predicted, Adam & Allen showdown.  Hokey Pokey Gokey is headed back to the land of cheese don'tcha know.  Let's give a big Lambeau Leap to our Packer fan Danny and wish him the best on his record, sure to release this fall.  I predict a Clay Aiken career for him.  He could be the next Dave Matthews.  Not cool enough, I know.

So a Kris and Adam finale.  Wow.  Milk toast man and Acid rocker.  What a spectrum of personality we have here. 

And only 1,000,000 votes separate them.  Now, listen people.  I believe Adam is in trouble.  I predict a Kris Allen win, and I'll tell you why.  The 20 or so million votes that went to Gokey, now have to go somewhere, theoretically.  I predict they will go to Kris before they go to Adam.  I'm just sayin'.  I think Kris and Gokey split the votes.  And more Gokeys will go to Kris.  

I really like Kris, to be honest.  I think Adam is more talented and we all know he does NOT need the win to get a rock album produced.  No problem.  Archuleta did just fine without winning.  

So, I thought the show was great.  But my buddy Sheila was over and we were yappin' and eating tacos and I just wasn't into watching the show. Sorry.  I missed Jordin.  I'll watch it tomorrow.  

xoxo peeps.  Our Season 8 is almost over.

Oh, and you can buy Daughtry's new single on Itunes now.  Yummy.

And for those of you who have not bought K. Clarkson...what the hell?  You are missing out.  It's really a great album.  I hear like 5 hits on that thing.  If you buy one song on Itunes, "Don't Make Me Stop You" is one song that you will hear in your head over-and-over.  It's so great.   Has that anthem feel like some of her first super megahits from Breakaway.  

zzzzz..........

CRAP, and I'm thinking of a naughtier word

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Our first Double Elimination Beat Down

Ok, peeps, the new rule is that 2 peeps are getting eliminated, but the judges can save yo' ass, one time and one time only for the whole competition. And it has to be unanimous. So, to save Jasmine, that would have to have been a uni vote and that would be the last time she could be safe.

I knew this was coming soon enough. That loss of Chris Daughtry is still stinging (in everyone's eyes but Chris Daughtry's of course, cause he laughed all the way to the bank...)

So, we see the fat ass mansion. I was cracking up when someone said their whole house would fit in the bathroom. Hilarious. This is the American Idol of the po folks.

So, we see the freaking Ford video...who knew they could still afford American Idol, with the bailout and all!!!

Let's get to the good stuff...

Michael Sarver is safe...Alison is safe. Ok, the internet buzz was not so good on Alison, including NJ Fan, and she's in. So, they put through Justin Timbermatt, and they bring little Jasmine down with Megan. They give Megan a trip back to the couch. Jasmine is headed home...no silver bullet of safety for her. That's sad. I really, really liked her. Seacrest is saying "we love you baby, we really loved having you, you are a tremendous talent."

Cue Carrie Underwood..."You know you I'm a dreamer and my hearts of gold"...

Little Jasmine...tiny Beyonce' wannabe...I hope this isn't the last we see of you. So cute, little dollface. Sad. My husbands trying to console me saying "Welp, they are all good, and someone's gotta go..."

KANYE WEST...I guess they will use his music somewhere this season...Heartless...let's see how it goes. Does he have on his window shade glasses? Let's do a crouch grab countdown.
1, 2, 3...yep, still there...I wonder how he feels it with those biker gloves on...oops there's a grab...5, what's that rag hanging out his pants? His costume looks like he is pretending he just came in from the driveway, working on his motorcycle..grease rag in back pocket... oops 6, 7. Hey, did pauler grab him? Oh, I think she was just stuffing her phone number in his pocket. He's on his knees, I think he grabbed one time too many...looks in pain. That was aiiright...whatevs.

Alexis is safe. Now we got Gokey...Ryan called him Gokey. Danny's family must be optomistrists. He has 1,000 sets of these glasses. Here's Anoop Dogg... and he does the death march to center stage.

Adam Lambert is safe...not a shocker. the boy has some nice teeth.

Jorge, to the center stage you go. PUHleeze. go go go. center stage... oh dammit, they call out Lil. This jumble down is bugging me. Yeah...Jorge goes to cs and Lil is safe. Listen people. I put all fucking 20 points on Jorge tonite in the office pool. dammit. I'm in 4th place and I had to shoot for the moon. Actually, there are only 6 of us playing.

KELLY KELLY KELLY KELLY. WHOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!

omg I love her. om om om gaaawwwdddd.

Ok, so Jorge and Anoop. everybody together....Jorge Jorge Jorge...momma needs her fricking 20 points to blow Anthony's ass off the top of the pool...and cute little Chris. Sorry...Jorge's OFF! whoo hoo. OMG, I just yelled loud enough for my cat to fly out of the room. No wonder they won't let me hold them...never know when momma's gonna pop off watching her Idol show.

Jorge is singing and he's gonna cry. Those Latinos are sensitive people.

Alright, let's just clarify. It's ONE person, ONE time, the whole season. And no silver bullet for Jorge.

Sing it Carrie...while momma switches over to her idol pool results and basks in the glory of her name at the top! hee hee

coleyb

Editor's Note: ColeyB is still one point behind cute little Chris. Who has a cold right now. Poor baby. We had ice cream at work today and he wouldn't even eat it. And he eats anything and everything. Feel better soon Chris!

Utah, the land of freaks and Osmonds

OMG,

We have Osmonds, we have a fat bearded bunny, and we have the freaky dude that had the beadiest eyes and licked his lips like a freak-a-zoid.  OMG. 

Ok, what was Pauler wearing tonite?  A white chiffon turtleneck thing with colored stars on it.  Is she on geriatric clothing budgets.  Shopping at the Senior Thrift?

The guy who looked like he stepped off the set of Mad Max, licking his lips, was creepiest...of the creepies.  

And the nice little hottie Osmond is going to Hollyweird.  So nice.

They saved the best show for last, it appears.  I'm enjoying this one.  And while I am thinking about it, I'm loving Kara.  She's awesome.  She's cute and spunky.  

When Ryan was giving them the fire up speech, there was a little spunkster recording him on her cell phone.  I'm going to try to find that on YouTube.  ha.

Hey, this Amy Winehouse look alike Frankie Jordan is cool.  Let's just say, they should just wipe Amy Winehouse off the album cover, insert Frankie and move on.  She's way better than trainwreck Wino.  

Megan Corcorie is sleeved with a tattoo and has a 2 year old.  Recent divorcee'...omg the stories you hear on this show.  

She's beautifull.  Not sure about that voice, what is it?  Hmm.  Very interesting.  She's spunky.  No doubt we are going to hear that one in the Top 36.  Promise you.

Ok, next after the break, a crazy haired girl raised in a van by her hippie Pa.  

Oh, they are playing David Cook music in background, any of you slackers that didn't buy the cd wouldn't know that.  

Get on with it and show me the Kellie Clarkson video dammit.  

Riverton HIgh School Senior Class President is trying to be the next David Archie.  He's Austin and he's so cute.   Weird song choice guy.   Kara likes everyone.  He's through to Hollywood.  Yippee.  He made me cry.  OMG, I am crying.  Damn this show.  I can't type through tears.

I'm not going to listen to the sad story about hippy girl.  Not gonna dew it  (ala Dana Carvey)

OH, I loved the bad audition montage.  Hilarious.    OMG, the island princess.  5' 11" without heels.  Amazon girl from the islands.  

OMG<>

This Idol Season is whackd.

xoxo

coleyque

Cougars Rule

And according to the Nielsen ratings, the winning contestant will be chosen by the Cougar vote. Interestingly, the largest number of viewers is between age 25-54. I'll take that Cougar Category for 500 Alex. I think someone over at E! needs to get the definition of Cougar.

Cou-gar (Kooo- grrrrr): Defined as a Woman who's biological calendar age has turned 40+, but mindset is that of a 21 year old. Trendy, hip, into pop culture, and has the money to do something with this spectacular view on life.

High Priestess of Cougardom is Demi Moore
Cougar Lifetime Achievement Award: Goldie Hawn
President of Future Cougars of Tomorrow: Reese Witherspoon
Community Organizer of Wannabe and Nevergonnabe Cougars: Sharon Stone

Characteristics of Cougars: Sing it loud and proud and don't care if their likes/dislikes are inconsistent with the 'normal' likes and dislikes of what is deemed 'normal' for a 40+ woman. Cougars don't shout '40 is the new 30' because 30 is too boring. Cougars do make fun of all age groups. And themselves. Cougars laugh at everything, because they haven't forgotten how. The Cougar cannot be bothered with society definitions of normal.

And so, in summary, I will, pledge to thee, that I will, once again, pick the winner of American Idol, way before America does. I will remind you that my only 'miss' was the year of Daughtrey, and indisputably, I was correct in that selection since no one can even remember who won that year.

I'd also like to bury this thought in this post. I do not like Kelly Clarkson's "My Life Would Suck Without You" song. I've cried myself to sleep over this, since hearing it. Sadness overwhelms even the Cougar in me.

:(

Season 8 - Inaugural Night is Over...what'd you think?

My initial reaction was...well, it was ok.  It was a lot of same old, same old.  Not so many changes as I was hoping, but I know those are to come.  I did see them giving us some back story, early on with regards to some of the better contestants, and you know they go further than Hollyweird week, I would guess.  Time will tell.

Now let's talk about Bikini Girl.  WTF?  Why?  I'm not sure who I am more irritated with...the ho bag that objectified herself and set the woman's rights movement back 20 years, or the googly -eyed dummy cat men that lowered themselves to acting like she had talent.  Honestly, there should be a dress code, so that girls cannot make fools of themselves like that.  Save the ho-bag from herself.  What an attitude that little tart had.   To be fair, I did not think that obese Black woman wearing the yellow spandex and chicken feathers was appropriate either.  Both of those people should be forced to watch those videos when they are grandmas, in front of their grandkids, and hope their kids learn from their ho-ish behavior.

HOWEVER...

That whole thing was pretty funny, because if you listened carefully, Kara told her "see you in Hollywood week.  Can't wait.  Why don't you come naked this time? "  OMG, she is so funny...and talk about some pipes...that Kara can sing.  Sadly, I do think that bikini ditz can sing too.  I'm going to end this rant with one thought for you, bikini chick...  Remember the movie "There's Something About Mary"?  Remember Cameron Diaz's neighbor, the obsessive tanner? Take note...you're going to look like her one day, if you lay around that Arizona desert like a lizard on a hot rock.   This concludes my public service announcement for the Melanoma Society.  

One last note, Ryan Seacrest was so not giving that girl a kiss.  It was awkward.  Didn't do a lot for the "I'm not gay" message either.  He was trying to be a gentleman, but he couldn't have dissed her...like Brody Jenner would...with a velvet glove.

Anyhoo...I do think that Kara is going to be great for the show.  I like the banter, and I like Randy, as always.  I think, despite what we may have thought, she and Pauler are going to be good team members.  Atleast Kara will keep her awake.  HA.

There were some good peeps in the batch tonite.  The opening sequence of videos from seasons past was really fun.  Wasn't it nice to see Elliott Yamin's mom in the parade car with her son, shaking her head in amazement.  Bless her heart, she's sleeping with the angels now.  I heard Elliott's song on the radio just yesterday. 

I like the way the judges talked alot about past winners tonite, and put Daughtrey in there.  I loved the little girls crushed that Archuleta lost.  That was priceless.  I forgot that we always get to see last year's winner on the the show alot.  

Here's my wishes for this season:

• We get to see Kelly Clarkson perform, or atleast mentor.  I'd love to see her and Kara in the studio, showing how the work together and showing the finalist how a song is written and worked over in the studio.
• I'd love to see Ryan Seacrest have a major flub.  Like his fly unzipped or a piece of spinach in his teeth.  You know he got dissed by Brangelina at the GGlobes.  O yea, it wasn't pretty.
• I'd like to see David C/A sing their Heroes duet from the finale last year.  I still have that video on my Ipod. 
• I'd like to see a contestant vomit.  Wouldn't that be funny?  I almost got my wish tonite, didn't I?
• I want to see 2 contestants hook up.  Like 2 in the top 36.  And they get busted hooking up all the time and eventually kicked off the show.  Drama.  Ha!

So, more later.  

ColeyB