Season 10 begins

Seriously did you think I wasn't going to watch and blog? I have to use my iPad for something!!!

I loves me some JLo. Steven is fascinating. He's like tv roadkill. You have to look. You just have too. Rachel the one singing halleluya. Note this season I will not be spell checking.

So far I love "f a duck and see what hatches". Ha ha.

So this year I thought we weren't seeing all the crappers. So far not so. Steven Tyler has the best veneers in Hollywood. Seriously. You know his teeth gave out 3 albums into his career. You know so far we have what I am going to call boomerangs. Two got through to Hollywood but they will be coming on back home as soon as they audition.

I can't wait to hear what the sing out song will be this year when peeps get kicked off.

Jersey has a few snookie wannabes. Did you see the chick bust up crying over JLo. The Selena cryer? Then Steven and Randy are making fun. And then the dumbo pops the girls out with stars on them. What a loser. I can just see Jeffro droppin one of those twins rightout of his lap on that one.

R u seeing that nose guy? He can sing. He reminds me of Artie on Glee. Awesome. I'm liking the 3 of them so far. Omg the Boy Scout. When the post office makes the first nerd stamp I have the candidate for them. Whoops too soon. Nerd alert. The burper. Sing Ike and Tina turner. Proud Mary. Omg. Ashley that loves Britney may be crazier than Brit Brit. Yellow teeth and greasy hair. Seriously how do the people see themselves as a star? Omg they are going to put her through. Seriously she is the female steven Tyler and the yo yo dawg has brought my first tears of the season. Ok but now Cosovo kid brings more tears.

Ok so I am falling asleep. This has been fun. Gotta snooze. Xoxo. Hey to nj fan, Jeffro, my seester, chris h., and any return readers! Tinkdr too!

Whew...I'm finally back.

I guess it's time to confess that I moonlight as a coal miner, and was one of the 33 (+1) trapped in Chile for a while.  Yep, I know you never saw me as I ascended, it was part of my covert Black Ops undercover work that I took just a bit too far.  What got me to that part of the world you ask?  Well, many of you may or may not know, but I take a strong issue with the resemblance between the Texas flag and that of the government of Chile'.

But I'm back now, my press tour with the President of Chile' went well, thank you very much.  I will have a lifetime supply of fruit delivered for my efforts in keeping the trapped miners in good spirits.  It's amazing how little those guys knew about American Idol.  And I'm happy to report that they loved it, staged their own competition and you should be see the new sounds of Juan Carlos Capitan, winner of the Trapped Miner Idol competition,  available soon at a Starbucks near you.  Early reports compare him to Yanni and  Christopher Cross with just a touch of Bon Jovi.

So, how is everyone?  I wish I had a dime for every time I've been asked about JLo and STyler joining RJack.  (note, if JLo gets letters then everyone gets letters.  I'm stopping the DIVA treatment before it gets out of control).

I don't know what I think.  But I do know that the funniest joke I have heard thus far came from SNL Weekend Update host Seth Myers who said, "This week AI announced the new judge lineup for next season.  JLo and Styler join RJack...otherwise knows as Coffin Nail #1, Coffin Nail #2 and Coffin Nail #3.

LOLOLOL  OMg,  I can't stop lauffing.  I can't even type right, or use correct grrammer.

Bye for now.

PS, if no one commetns that they read this post, there will be no more. You've been warned.  I know it's my fault but as I said...trapped in mine, blah blah blah





 

Idol Aftermath...the celebrity fallout factor

Crystal and her boyfriend have split.  Just hours before the finale.

So she lost the competition and her dude.

Meh!  She'll be fine.  He was a dudster anyway.  Seriously, I was my car in clothes nicer than he wore on TV.  I have to give him props for not wanting to just golddig and cash grab.  If he's the kid's dad, that's sad.

I bet she ends up with Kate Hudson's ex...Chris whatever his name is.  Dreadlock man.

Sorry Crystal.  Chin up.  There are lots of better days ahead.  Call Chris Daughtry and let him 'splain it to you.

xoxo

Geriatric finale...

OMG,they could have have the Geriatric Music Hall of Fame ceremony immediately after tonites show. Seriously. The first 5 musical acts were all born in the 50's. Alice Cooper, Chicago, The Bee Gees. No offense but when your founding members have died off, you're OLD. Retire already, since your voice obviously has (yes Alice, I'm talking about you. Try as they may, they could not drown you out. Ozzy Osbourne could have carried you AND that tune better. I digress).

Alanis Morissette and Crystal were absolutely the best of the night. I did love Bret Michaels...and not Pants on the Ground...for God's sake.

Every flipping time they brought out another blue hair my husband would say...warm up the paddles...the defibralator heart attack victim paddles you know! haha

When Joe Cocker came out, he yelled, "CLEAR!!!!!!!!"

omg, HE IS YELLING AT THE TV..."That old man didn't even shave. He's got a 2 day shadow going..grey shadow. That's it the last time you'll ever see him on stage again." HA HA. They had to jacked him with 20 :ccs of Adrenaline just to get him dresssed.

LOL

Ok, so just for the record...I say Lee will win, but Crystal will be the bigger record seller.

And, like all the season's that have come before...I win. I picked the winner, again. Ho..humm. Although, I do think I was stumped on the Traylor Hicks season...and we see that I was right on that one, because he went from Hero to Zero before the lights were even cool at the Nokia Theatre. Who won Daughtry's season? And I don't think Daughtry was on the stage tonite either. Kelly did not look too happy, but I imagine they could have sued her ass big time, because you know they locked her in for the reunion show back when she was a nobody and she signed her life away. I love her to death, and I don't know what Idol did to her, but she's cutting her nose off to spite her face (I've never actually typed that, is that the saying???) because if she had sung a new song off the album in the works, she would have gotten so many more record sales. But alas, she is not a sell out like me. I'm pimp my ass OUT. Ok, not really. Well, maybe. How much are we talking anyway? Again, I digress.

Seacrest closes: "We'd like to thank tonite's sponsors Geritol and Depends. And for those times you find yourself with someone special, Viva Viagra."

Yea! Chris! Another season bites the dust. What are we going to talk about over Baked Cheetoes tomorrow? Shall we have a celebratory donut?

Tonite's the final performance

Well, who do you think it's going to be?

I do think this is a close one.  But maintain Lee DeWyze will take the title.  I hope Simon claiming he will win, doesn't do him a disservice.

In other news, I am addicted to Justin Bieber and everything Justin Bieber.  I have Bieber Fever.   Here's what lead up to this addiction:

1.  Saw him on Chelsea Handler months ago.  He was flirting with her something awful.  It was like watching something wrong.  A scene out of the best Cougar movie ever.  Meow.  That little boy is nasty is such a good way.
2.  Saturday Night Live - performance.  Um...the first time he licked his lips...Meow#2
3.  American Idol - Umm.  MEOWWWWW!  Lee who?  Seriously, he is so cute.  Ok, I'm knowing this is my inner teenager.  I will be buried with my Shawn Cassidy Tiger Beat magazine and will always love me some teen hottie rock stars (though Justin Timberlake or any of those boy bands ever appealed to me.  At all.  Why is one of those mysteries we will never solve.  The only explanation is 'just because'.)

So, I am now the proud owner of both Justin Bieber cd's and am currently trying to talk my friend into taking her daughter to the JB concert in Oakland so I can tag along...pretend I am there for the kid...yawn and act bored when on the inside I am singing ... BABY, BABY...you're my EENIE MEENIE MINEEE MO LOVER.  LOL

It might also help you all to know I have the same crush on Harry Connick Jr. and Puck on Glee.  I just love musicians and rock stars.

So, hope Lee wins!  I WILL be voting tonite!

xoxo