All I can say is this woman is a whack job. She's like an older version of Britney and Lindsay rolled into one. Which brings me to a big question for you, my gentle readers (remember when Dear Abby called people Gentle Readers? so weird). Should we watch Pauler's reality show this summer, Straight Up? I don't know.
Anyway, she is a CryBaby like that little girl in the audience on Idol. Hey, you know, I have a whole new appreciation for Ryan Seacrest because the lady that moderates ON THE LOT is shiteous. WTF? Who is she sleeping with? I think I am having American Idol withdrawels. I got 3 Entertainment Weekly Idol Scrapbook issues put on my chair today. I am most certainly known as the biggest AI fan at work. Am I proud of that...sure, beats being known as "stinky girl" or "annoying girl". And we all know who they are, right Suki???? ha ha.
Anyway, I hope you watch ON THE LOT with me. It's going to have some good fighting, I can tell. And Carrie Fisher is more fun that Pauler. I didn't like guest director guy, I don't know what happened to Brett Ratner. Famous Julian has met Brett a couple of times, so I will call him for scoop tomorrow. You know, we don't call Julian "famous" for nothing. He is connected. Today, I was on a conference call with him, and he said, "Hey, do you hear that noise?" Yes, we did, and he told us it was the Price IS Right audience lining up outside the CBS Studios to go in and tape the show. They whip them into a frenzy in this weird alleyway outside Julian's office. I've been there, and it's so unglamourous (this side lot of CBS, not Famous Julian's office), I think my company's mailroom is nicer. But Famous Julian has a bird's eye view of the mayhem from his famous digs at his design firm. Now famous Julian is blushing because he reads the blog every morning, and I love this chance to embarrass the shit out of him. HA. Morning Jules!!!
Thursday, May 31, 2007
ON THE LOT...this viewers review
Today I got an email from someone that has been a silent lurker on the blog. Says he is a big fan, and doesn't usually email strangers, but I seemed nice enough. LOL. Goes to show you, don't believe everything you read. I am quite an actress on this blog...except to my co-workers of course. They know I am a kook in real life. I digress.
Anyway, I promised "stranger x" that I would rush home and watch all my episodes of ON THE LOT on the Tivo, just because he wanted to know my opinion. Now how many times a day do you constantly try to voice your opinion when it is not asked for...so I had to jump on the opportunity when asked. So, in my humble opinion...here goes nothing...
First let me say, if I didn't have TIVO, this would not be MUST SEE TV. However, since I do have Tivo, it's somewhat entertaining tv, with POTENTIAL. Let me put this into perspective. Right now we are watching the "out of tune slubs" that must have submitted someone else's films to get into this competition. Some of this stuff, as WindyCityNut says, amounts to nothing better than home movies from the mentally challenged. And then there are a few Underwood, Daughtry and Clarkson's in the mix. Some really brilliant film makers. And that, my little blogpound, is why I am urging you to start watching. Here are some other reasons.
1. You haven't missed anything except the field being narrowed down to a number where you can finally get to know people's names.
2. There are some really fun characters in there I can root for I think. Plus a couple of hot guys which is always good for tv.
3. Garry Marshall is a pretty funny old fart.
4. Production values are about as good or better than Ricky Minor and the Band. Great actors play extras.
5. Making movies is an interesting science and it's quite educational to learn what a Director really does.
6. Hollywood is going to be fun to watch, they go to some fun locations and really, the topics have been kind of edgy, not milk toasty. To compare it to Idol, I'd say they aren't stuck on BeeGees week, and have already zipped it up to something better. The one minute comedy films were quite funny...and very interesting.
Ok, now let me, once again, give you my biggest tip of the day. I should charge you for this advice. If you don't already have a DVR (digital video recorder)...brand name and inventor (don't quote me, but I think) is TIVO. But most cable companies and satellite tv companies now offer DVR service. Order it today. Directv offers a box with tivo built in (this is what ColeyB sports in her palatial estate in Vallejo...actually, ColeyB has 2 TIVOs because 80 hours is not enough programming time....and no I am not lying, and yes, I am crazy...see paragraph 1 under "kook". ) If you cannot afford a TIVO I understand but this is no excuse. You need to sell other electronics. You don't need a toaster and microwave. Hold a garage sale this weekend. Got nothing to part with? Offer to sell your neighbors shit for a % of the profit. You simply must liquidate and get a DVR. It's the only way to survive really. I'd sell my dialysis machine for a Tivo, should I need dialysis. Because I'd rather have gunky blood than watch commercials or bad tv. I haven't watched Erica Kane segments of All MY Children in like 2 years. I zip right past that anorexic, botoxed bimbo. Tivo allows you to answer the phone and not miss your favorite scene of any show. Or allows you to yell at your husband for stepping on the cat, pet the cat, give it a treat, and then get back to tv. It really brings harmony to the home. It's a marriage survival tool and time-saver wrapped up in one little metal box, and really, trust me, you must have it. You dont' need a cell phone. Stuck on the side of the road with no phone to call for help? No worries, Tivo is recording that show for you, and you don't really need to rush home.
More later.
Anyway, I promised "stranger x" that I would rush home and watch all my episodes of ON THE LOT on the Tivo, just because he wanted to know my opinion. Now how many times a day do you constantly try to voice your opinion when it is not asked for...so I had to jump on the opportunity when asked. So, in my humble opinion...here goes nothing...
First let me say, if I didn't have TIVO, this would not be MUST SEE TV. However, since I do have Tivo, it's somewhat entertaining tv, with POTENTIAL. Let me put this into perspective. Right now we are watching the "out of tune slubs" that must have submitted someone else's films to get into this competition. Some of this stuff, as WindyCityNut says, amounts to nothing better than home movies from the mentally challenged. And then there are a few Underwood, Daughtry and Clarkson's in the mix. Some really brilliant film makers. And that, my little blogpound, is why I am urging you to start watching. Here are some other reasons.
1. You haven't missed anything except the field being narrowed down to a number where you can finally get to know people's names.
2. There are some really fun characters in there I can root for I think. Plus a couple of hot guys which is always good for tv.
3. Garry Marshall is a pretty funny old fart.
4. Production values are about as good or better than Ricky Minor and the Band. Great actors play extras.
5. Making movies is an interesting science and it's quite educational to learn what a Director really does.
6. Hollywood is going to be fun to watch, they go to some fun locations and really, the topics have been kind of edgy, not milk toasty. To compare it to Idol, I'd say they aren't stuck on BeeGees week, and have already zipped it up to something better. The one minute comedy films were quite funny...and very interesting.
Ok, now let me, once again, give you my biggest tip of the day. I should charge you for this advice. If you don't already have a DVR (digital video recorder)...brand name and inventor (don't quote me, but I think) is TIVO. But most cable companies and satellite tv companies now offer DVR service. Order it today. Directv offers a box with tivo built in (this is what ColeyB sports in her palatial estate in Vallejo...actually, ColeyB has 2 TIVOs because 80 hours is not enough programming time....and no I am not lying, and yes, I am crazy...see paragraph 1 under "kook". ) If you cannot afford a TIVO I understand but this is no excuse. You need to sell other electronics. You don't need a toaster and microwave. Hold a garage sale this weekend. Got nothing to part with? Offer to sell your neighbors shit for a % of the profit. You simply must liquidate and get a DVR. It's the only way to survive really. I'd sell my dialysis machine for a Tivo, should I need dialysis. Because I'd rather have gunky blood than watch commercials or bad tv. I haven't watched Erica Kane segments of All MY Children in like 2 years. I zip right past that anorexic, botoxed bimbo. Tivo allows you to answer the phone and not miss your favorite scene of any show. Or allows you to yell at your husband for stepping on the cat, pet the cat, give it a treat, and then get back to tv. It really brings harmony to the home. It's a marriage survival tool and time-saver wrapped up in one little metal box, and really, trust me, you must have it. You dont' need a cell phone. Stuck on the side of the road with no phone to call for help? No worries, Tivo is recording that show for you, and you don't really need to rush home.
More later.
Pauler's been spied on...
In an exclusive statement to TMZ, Paula Abdul says:
"I am deeply hurt and extremely disappointed that someone has taken a private telephone conversation that I had with my representatives and released it to the media. This is not only illegal but also highly unethical. While I don't feel a need to justify or explain my conversation, even as a public figure I do feel my privacy has been violated and find this action to be unacceptable."
As first reported by Page Six and posted by Perez Hilton, a secretly taped phone conversation was released today -- which featured a sobbing Abdul discussing her former publicist and their strained relationship. Paula, we're told, is now back with her longtime publicist Jeff Ballard.
Unfortunately for her, the "Idol" judge was in London for the past few days and had no clue about the controversy that was swirling around her until she arrived in the States today.
OK, NOW FOR THE FUNNIEST PART OF THIS POSTING ON TMZ....THE FIRST COMMENT IN THE BLOG COLUMN...someone writes:
1. "as posted by Perez Hilton." Its not a scoop for that fat thieving no-talent. For Page Six, yes. For that crook, NO. Who at TMZ is in bed with him that you feel the need to try and constantly promote him!? Distance yourself from him, TMZ...youre known by the company you keep.
Posted at 5:45PM on May 31st 2007 by perezStinks
Butterfingers let's a great girl slip through his fingers
Tony Romo, Dallas quarterback that fumbled the snap and cost the Cowboys a playoff victory, has let something else slip through his fingers...my girl Carrie. And you know what? She says, "nope, I will not be shelved this season, I thought we were moving to a commitment, but if you can't balance me and football, then okey dokey, I'll be out in the parking lot carving MY NAME INTO YOUR LEATHER SEATS!!! You big meanie." Of course, Carrie doesn't cuss, so we can't call him a loser asshole because Carrie wouldn't say that.
Carrie, take my advice, quarterbacks are a dime a dozen. Find a real man that will let you shine like the diamond you are, not compete for the spotlight. Do not go for one of those dumb Bachelor losers on ABC. Or Trailer HIcks. Or Derek Jeter. Or John Mayer. Find a nice guy like Christina Aguilera did. Or someone like Nick Lachey. Not Ryan Seacrest either. No rehab flunkies like Howie Day, or any leftovers from Brit, LiLo or anyone headed to jail.
I'll get back to you with a list of prospects. Thanks Hopey for the tip!
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
BEST WEEK EVER Show...omg, it's funny
Ok, so this show is on VH1. I tivo'd in because I fear having nothing to watch on tv now that Idol is over and everything is on hiatus. And if I don't have unisex programming on the "now playing" list on TIVO, I am forced to watch "Pimp my Ride", Overhauling or some shitty car restoration show. Yes, I married a car dude.
Anyway, BEST WEEK EVER turns out to be like a funny spin on like Extra or Access Hollywood shows...or even "E! Weekend Update" hosted by Ryan Seacrest. and they make alot of fun of Ryan. Ok, so since this already aired, I am going to run through some of the stories, and try to do them justice in my recap. Swear to God I was dying laughing.
In recapping the Idol Finale, they made fun of the fact that they sucked 2 hours of your life away, only for TIVO to cut it off at the end...and they made the little TIVO noise just as they were about to announce Jordin and froze the screen. Hilarious. One comedienne said "They thawed out Smokey Robinson. Now I kNOW Black don't crack, but that dude look 4 years old." And then they showed that fat black chicken lady, kissing Ryan...cut to a comedienne saying "Ryan kisses that woman and goes "OOHHhhH..so that's what a woman tastes like...it takes like chicken."
And then they show a clip where Nigel Lithgoe says "they would have loved to have Britney Spears on the finale, but they don't lipsynch on Idol..." BURN..and then the comedienne comes on and says "ok, so they will help out the Caveman from the Geico commercial (cut to Barry Gibbs on stage), but not poor Britney...seems unfair wouldn't you say" LOL....f'ing hysterical. I'm sorry I know my recap is lame, but really...it was funny, I hope you didn't have to be there. They made fun of the wind storm in Sanjaya's hair...said a bad Noreaster blew in. And the final joke...they showed all the African choir kids dancing and said, "And Brangelina's children did a nice performance. How sweet." Ha ha ha. HILARIOUS> Try to catch it on reruns. They also poked alot of fun at Paula Abdul. Called her a hero for saving her dog from harm...harm from Paula Abdul. Suh-weet.
Hey Amy...stop poking fun at Daughtry's BoyBurns. He can't go changing his image yet, he hasn't even finished his first tour. He needs some down time, some red wine and he's mighty fine...so leave him be. Atleast he isn't going through a "I'm a black man now" phase like your boy JTimberlake did there for a while. Sizzle......burn... Ouch. Sorry...:(
Shout out to Milwaukee girl that emailed me today on the Daughtry pick mission...she can't make it to the concert this year, or she'd try to get me a pick from the stage. She suggested maybe WindyCityNut might go up there! Isn't it funny how people are tracking people on this blog? I love our little community.
Whale Update: They hauled ass back to the ocean last night...left like little thieves in the night, snuck under the Golden Gate Bridge under the cloak of darkness, as the reporters said. Some people are frustrated and tired of hearing about the whales. And really, I was complaining too. I mean I miss the reports of the gunshot victims in Oakland, the daily dead bodies washing up in the Bay, really long for those hourly updates from the Scott Petersen trial. I wish those damn whales had stayed for atleast another month. It was so nice to be tracking a momma and her calf, instead of tracking a serial killer or something. What's wrong with people? Anyway, they are gone, so it's back to doom and gloom no doubt, unless Sharon Stone is back in town, in which case she is sure to show up drunk somewhere with Mayor Gavin Newsome. Local humor, I suppose.
Tomorrow is Thirsty Thursday. I'll start the day off with Bailey's in my coffee, Bloody Mary's at 10:30...burgers and beer at lunch, and wind down with tequila shots in the copy room around 3:00. Good times.
ColeyB
Anyway, BEST WEEK EVER turns out to be like a funny spin on like Extra or Access Hollywood shows...or even "E! Weekend Update" hosted by Ryan Seacrest. and they make alot of fun of Ryan. Ok, so since this already aired, I am going to run through some of the stories, and try to do them justice in my recap. Swear to God I was dying laughing.
In recapping the Idol Finale, they made fun of the fact that they sucked 2 hours of your life away, only for TIVO to cut it off at the end...and they made the little TIVO noise just as they were about to announce Jordin and froze the screen. Hilarious. One comedienne said "They thawed out Smokey Robinson. Now I kNOW Black don't crack, but that dude look 4 years old." And then they showed that fat black chicken lady, kissing Ryan...cut to a comedienne saying "Ryan kisses that woman and goes "OOHHhhH..so that's what a woman tastes like...it takes like chicken."
And then they show a clip where Nigel Lithgoe says "they would have loved to have Britney Spears on the finale, but they don't lipsynch on Idol..." BURN..and then the comedienne comes on and says "ok, so they will help out the Caveman from the Geico commercial (cut to Barry Gibbs on stage), but not poor Britney...seems unfair wouldn't you say" LOL....f'ing hysterical. I'm sorry I know my recap is lame, but really...it was funny, I hope you didn't have to be there. They made fun of the wind storm in Sanjaya's hair...said a bad Noreaster blew in. And the final joke...they showed all the African choir kids dancing and said, "And Brangelina's children did a nice performance. How sweet." Ha ha ha. HILARIOUS> Try to catch it on reruns. They also poked alot of fun at Paula Abdul. Called her a hero for saving her dog from harm...harm from Paula Abdul. Suh-weet.
Hey Amy...stop poking fun at Daughtry's BoyBurns. He can't go changing his image yet, he hasn't even finished his first tour. He needs some down time, some red wine and he's mighty fine...so leave him be. Atleast he isn't going through a "I'm a black man now" phase like your boy JTimberlake did there for a while. Sizzle......burn... Ouch. Sorry...:(
Shout out to Milwaukee girl that emailed me today on the Daughtry pick mission...she can't make it to the concert this year, or she'd try to get me a pick from the stage. She suggested maybe WindyCityNut might go up there! Isn't it funny how people are tracking people on this blog? I love our little community.
Whale Update: They hauled ass back to the ocean last night...left like little thieves in the night, snuck under the Golden Gate Bridge under the cloak of darkness, as the reporters said. Some people are frustrated and tired of hearing about the whales. And really, I was complaining too. I mean I miss the reports of the gunshot victims in Oakland, the daily dead bodies washing up in the Bay, really long for those hourly updates from the Scott Petersen trial. I wish those damn whales had stayed for atleast another month. It was so nice to be tracking a momma and her calf, instead of tracking a serial killer or something. What's wrong with people? Anyway, they are gone, so it's back to doom and gloom no doubt, unless Sharon Stone is back in town, in which case she is sure to show up drunk somewhere with Mayor Gavin Newsome. Local humor, I suppose.
Tomorrow is Thirsty Thursday. I'll start the day off with Bailey's in my coffee, Bloody Mary's at 10:30...burgers and beer at lunch, and wind down with tequila shots in the copy room around 3:00. Good times.
ColeyB
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