How David and other Idols record sales are doing...

This is excerpt from E! Online.:

David Cook isn't performing at a full boil just yet, but he still blazed quite a trail through this week's singles chart.
Although Lil Wayne's "Lollipop" is still sitting in the sweetest spot for the third straight week, Cook saw 11 of his songs debut on the Billboard Hot 100, the most new entries for an artist in one week in the chart's 50-year history.
"The Time of My Life," the tune Cook sang to usher in his newfound Idol glory, is at No. 3, the highest-ranking of the 25-year-old rocker's singles. Further down the line is "Dream Big" at No. 15, and his contributions are sprinkled all over the place, ending with "I'm Alive" at No. 99.
And as a fitting coda to Cook's bartender-makes-good story, he has demolished the previous record of six simultaneous Hot 100 debuts held by teen queen Miley Cyrus.
The 236,000 copies of "The Time of My Life" sold/downloaded also give Cook the best week-after-coronation numbers since season two, when Ruben Studdard's "Flying Without Wings" missed the top spot thanks to Clay Aiken's "This Is the Night," which went on to become the top single of 2003.
The feel-good ballad, which raced to the top of iTunes most-downloaded songs the day after Cook won, is also perched atop the Billboard Hot Digital Songs chart.
But because he missed the first two slots on the Hot 100, he joins Jordin Sparks as the only Idol winners not to have their big-moment single debut at No. 1 or No. 2. (Cook kicked Sparks' butt, though—"This Is My Now" peaked in 15th place last year.
This is still a pretty triumphant day, however, for Idol producer, 19 Records honcho and pop-culture mastermind Simon Fuller, who had a hand in the rise of every star to walk off the Idol stage.
Season-seven runner-up David Archuleta has three debuts on the Hot 100, the highest being "Imagine" at No. 36, and Sparks is making up for her slow start by holding down the No. 5 spot for a second week with "No Air," her duet with Chris Brown.
Further on in their careers but still theoretically in the family are Daughtry, whose "Feels Like Tonight" is in 36th place, and Carrie Underwood, whose "Last Name" is recognizable enough to count for 19th place.

Hot off the Presses! Clay Aiken knocked up a Cougar

ColeyB has been informed by Tink of this unbelievable and crazy news....

see note below from TMZ...and thanks Tink for helping me to lose my appetite just as the vendor machine was beckoning.

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TMZ has learned Clay Aiken is going to be a daddy. In case you didn't process that, Clay Aiken is going to be a daddy.

Here's what we know. Multiple sources tell us the mother is Jaymes Foster, a record producer and Clay's best friend. He lives at her home when he's in L.A.

We're told 50-year-old Foster, who produced several Aiken CDs, is due in August. She's the sister of record mogul David Foster. She divorced a few years back and has no kids. Aiken is 29.

We're told Foster was artificially inseminated. But Clay is a lot more than sperm -- we're told he will have an active role in raising the child.

No immediate word from Aiken's rep.

Carrie Underwood- Behind the Scenes DS Commercial

She's so cute. have you seen the commercial?

David Cook in "Ellen" - Sings "The World I Know"

Like most of you, I work, and miss all these daytime appearances....enter...YouTube. God love those people that tape this shit and post. I've gotten notes from those that like this, so I'll keep posting all I can find. He's been on EVERYTHING! wowzie.

I love David Cook, did I mention that in the last 30 seconds?

Hey, if you want to hear any of the songs from Analog Heart, just google it and you can find sites that have a few tracks posted here and there.

I hope David sings the Billy Jean song on his album. MJ needs the money, so he ought to be able to get a good negotiation.

David Cook on Live with Regis and Kelly

He's just so precious. Ok, but listen, record screech here...he's dating Kimberly 'season 2 skank' Caldwell. Ugh. What? He took her to dinner the night after the big win. What? I hope that doesn't last long.

Officially, DC has signed his record deal. Coming this Fall. They truthfully feel he could be one of the biggest Idols ever. As do I. He has 14 songs in the Top 100 digital downloads right now.
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HERE YOU GO with an article:

Season seven "American Idol" champion David Cook will set a record for debut entries on the Billboard Hot 100 and Hot Digital Songs tomorrow as 11 titles enter the former, while 14 songs jump on the download tally. The onslaught is led by a No. 3 Hot 100 start for his original recording "The Time of My Life," which shifts 236,000 downloads to easily take the No. 1 spot on Hot Digital Songs.

"Idol" runner-up David Archuleta lands three songs on both charts, led by his cover of John Lennon's "Imagine" (No. 36 Hot 100, No. 16 on Hot Digital Songs, 71,000).

Cook's takeover of the Hot 100 shatters the mark for debuts set by Miley Cyrus (as Hannah Montana) in the Nov. 11, 2006, issue, when she placed six new titles on the list. The 11 songs on the chart are the most in a week by any artist in the Nielsen Music era, which began in December 1991 when the chart converted to Nielsen BDS and Nielsen SoundScan data.

His haul also marks the most placements on the list since the Beatles charted 14 songs on the Hot 100 in the week of April 11, 1964.

The 14 tracks on Hot Digital Songs also gives Cook a record for debuts and total songs on that three-year-old chart, besting Hannah Montana's total output (8) on the Nov. 11, 2006 chart, and Bon Jovi's six debuts in the May 19, 2007, issue.

This is the first week of the 2008 season that "American Idol" downloads counted toward Billboard's charts. In cooperation with the show's producers, Apple withheld reporting iTunes sales of those songs until the week of the final episode.

Cook's debut album for 19 Recordings/RCA is due in the fall.

Time for a COOKie - Yum...COOK ies

I don't know people, this latest obsession with David Cook is lasting longer than others. I can't believe I haven't bought tickets to the show...or a tshirt off the web yet. haha.  I mean, I have to admit, by the end of the Jordan season, I was tired of her ass.  I haven't been crazy about anyone since Daughtry...and I don't really think I was nutso about Carrie either...but she's a girl, and I'm a hetero, and well, whatevs...I likes the boys.  (except Taylor and Clay...let's keep it real people)

Well, look, I have some scoop on David's  Analog Heart album. They made him take it off the internet as he got further into the competition because they didn't want him to have an unfair advantage. And then Amazon.com who was selling it, apparently to no one at first, and then DC got on Idol and the money started flying in, and then AI got wind of it and said "Money? Money? off our boy?  SHUT IT DOWN..."  In any case, Cookie benefitted because there was a time lapse while the lawyers pissed it out, and the cash register kept ringing, and DC got the cash.  Go Guy!!!  Atleast $2.00 was from me!  

So there are tons of people posting the songs, illegally, I assume. I don't know, maybe he had it posted for free to listen to, trying to get his name out, there for a while. Anyway, I paid for a couple of tracks, and forgot to go back, and now it's OFF. The Idol Machine has him in a contract and no more free David Cook.

I hope to get my buddy Chris at work to help me post them so you can listen to them too! I keep getting an error message, so sorry I suck at this...but for now, check out this website and listen to it all in it's brizziliance.  

http://www.davidcooktheamericanidol.com/music/

Weekend is officially over. Hope yours was safe and fun.

xoxo.

Cook's Guitar Hero Commercial

ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!! YUMMERS.

David Cook on Leno...we can't get enough of Cook!!!

OMG, David Cook talks about playing Madden Football on the Nintendo Wii in this interview. Suh WEET. I must send him some video games, in exchange for a signed autograph of course.

So, people, it seems the Cougars are the reason Cook is our Idol. Know what a Cougar is? It's an older woman who seeks out younger men to 'date'. The most famous of Cougar's is Demi Moore. Little Ashton Kutcher, being her prey. SNL even does a Cougar skit. Madonna is being 'cougarish' in her actions with Justin Timberlake in their videos. She's a supremely cougar. Kim Catrall, "Samantha from Sex in the City" is probably whose picture you find next to Cougar in the dictionary.

Anyway, the cougar's couldn't vote for David A, they felt too pervy. I can attest to that feeling. Like I said, he barely has boy parts and attributes, how can I call him a hottie?

So, I'm just going to say it. David Cook has officially dethroned Chris Daughtry for me. He's my all-time favorite boy winner. Carrie Underwood and Kelly Clarkson still run neck and neck. I love them equally. But I have really gained more respect and interest in David Cook, in all the interviews. He's very intelligent. Very real, and very nice.

When he makes his first slip up, I will be crushed. I hope we get through atleast the tour before it all goes awry. And I do think I'm going to buy Idol tickets and go see the tour. I actually want the chance to laugh at Jason Castro, see the 2 Davids, for sure. See Kristy Lee...Brooke might forget words. Chikezie was good, Michael Johns. It's going to be ok, I think. Irish chick and Syesha. good crew.

Well, bye for now.

David Cook Storming the Itunes Charts

I know you guys aren't as obsessed with David Cook as I am...or maybe you are. But people, he's so smokin' white hot right now. Spend $3.96 and download the video of Hero with him and Archie, and then buy he other 2 songs. So awesome.

Ok, David Cook owns 3 of the 4 top download positions on Itunes right now. And he has the #1 video download. He's already just killing it. And hey, did you see the happy little gang on Larry King Live? OMG, that was painful and fun at the same time. Try to catch a rerun. Guess who wasn't there...Amanda Overmyer...and Michael Johns joined via satellite. But the rest of them were there. Ramiele Malubay gave Larry King such a fit with her name. That old coot mispronounced it like 22 times. Hilarious.

E! Weekend Update showed Ryan Seacrest and David goofing around before the show. And other times. It does seem Ryan spends some time with these kids, which is kind of cool. OOhhhh Oh and I almost forgot. Get this one, Pauler has a tradition of bestowing the winner of each season with a special piece of jewelry from her collection. (yes, she sells that shit on QVC). So, she designed a leather cuff for each of the boys, and also the Davids got a silver bracelet thing with a ton of diamonds in it. (Tacky as shit, but that's not the best part). Pauler was strapping on the bracelet onto Archie's arm, and he looked at her and said, "Oh my gosh, are those real diamonds?" And Pauler busted up..."Yes, honey, God Bless you, that's so funny, and yes, honey, they are real diamonds." Of course, Archie probably has never had a diamond before, but what 17 year old boy needs diamonds before he gets facial hair or pubes anyway? Sorry, but I just have to laugh at that little sweet boy. He's just the most innocent thing...like a boy in a bubble. No attitude. I'm just as excited to see his career as David Cook's.

DeeDee (refresher here...my college roommate) called today. She had just finished her Tai Chi lessons. She's my lawyer friend that is raising Baby Einstein Jill. Jill is going to 7th grade and has weekly Chinese lessons. Jeez...this is the girl who's mom cut up her waffles at Disneyland 2 years ago. My how time flies. I'm her favorite aunt, you know. Why? Because I cuss, and I took her to find Raven's house in Haight Ashbury when they visited. Poor thing, didn't understand why there were homeless people outside "That's So Raven" house. ha ha. Anyway, DeeDee agrees with me that David Cook is one sexy little number. She said if she was 20 years younger, she'd be all over him. Well, atleast we know, she'd have a poster of him up on the dorm wall! She was big with posters around our dorm and in our little house we lived in. Bless her soul, having to live with me. I won't live long enough to make that up to her. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when she tells those girls at her job stories about me. I know she no doubtedly has exaggerated greatly about me falling out of our attic and onto the dining room floor. Yep, right through the ceiling to the floor below. We were moving out and my damn cat snuck up the attic ladder. I reached over to get her and moved off of the beam, and stepped right through the floor/ceiling. Man, I missed the dining room table by 9 inches. I crawled to the phone and called a friend. Pete and his gf came to dust me off, I was covered in insulation and sheetrock dust. I was moving to California in like 4 days and my dumb ass is flying out of attics.

Yeah, Dee Dee and me...Single in Dallas. Good Times... Good Times.

Good Weekend So Far...

Don't want to jinx anything, but I have managed not to get in a fight with my husband or hit any objects in the path of my car.

Well, lemme see...what's on my agenda for the rest of the weekend? So far, I've done a shitload of laundry...people, how many socks does your husband or significant sex slave have in his or her drawer? Why did I marry the one man on Earth that insists on have 48 pair at his disposal at all times. It's like he got the inside scoop that in Armegeddon, white tube socks will be the key to survival. Ugh. And listen, don't think I can bring home any kind either...Target, Macy's...nope. Hanes "with the tiny short rib top that doesn't squish my ankles" are the only ones allowed in the house, and God forbid they change the packaging. If they ever take the yellow hard hat icon off that plastic package, I'm fucked. That's the only way I know I got the right ones. People, he forced me to buy back up packages, in case they discontinued them. I bought 10 packs of 6...all they had on the shelf at Wal-Mart one night. It was like we were weird clothing horders.

You know, now that you have me telling stories on the freak show I am married to, let me tell you about his hair gel obsession. Salon Selectives. You can only find that shit at like $1.00 stores now. They discontinued it. It's turqoise blue. You can spot it a mile away. Luckily for him, I like to shop, so sometimes I just go on hair gel missions and buy like 10 bottles at a time. Sadly, we knew the day would come that they, too, would run out. So, we had to go to the store together, and do a scratch and sniff test in the hair gel aisle at Target. And we have settled on Herbel Essences "Stick Straight" or some shit like that. It's in a big hot pink bottle with a neon green top. Now, I wish you knew what hairdo my man runs...but listen, I have 2 words that describes it perfectly. Wayne Newton. He runs the Wayne and always has. Straight back Christopher Walken style. But he's much cuter than both of them. I finally got him to stop blow drying it about 3 years ago. I told him he was blowing it out of his head (balding) and it was dunzo. No more blowdryer.

Let's see, what else does he obsess about? Secret Deodorant. Must be Summer Breeze 'flavored' as he calls it. And he jacks it up to the size of an ice cream cone, and slathers it from inside his elbow to the arm pit. He hates it when I watch him apply it and make wise ass comments about his sweaty elbow pits. The funny thing is the man doesn't sweat. It's so weird. He also has like 5 hairs on his chest. It's like being married to Baby Huey.

God am I glad he doesn't read this blog. D-i-V-O-R-C-E ...or atleast a good ass whuppin'.

Risky Business

Meet my new boyfriend...

And Now, Our American Idol...

I love this show for moments just like this. We don't get enough 'underdog wins American Dream' enough in life. This is truly spectacular. It's what America is all about.

I mean, this may seem stupid and silly, but I used to write an email 3 years ago, about American Idol, and send it to about 35 people in my office building. And 3 years later, I write a blog, and I get funny emails from someone I've never met all the way from New Jersey! All because I took a risk and wrote a blog, for the fun of it. And 14,000 hits later, people are still reading my blog every day.

Ain't America great????

xoxo

Here we go...show time for Season 7 Finale

Ok, as always, I'm as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Why? Well, because...I have no idea.
Nice crotch shot of Ryan. on that little flying pillow.

Syesha...you get to sing with SEAL Girl you won that one sista'. I lOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE Seal. He's just he sexiest thing on that stage ever. This duet is not the best...don't cut any records. Where's Heidi Ho? Imagine she got to rehearse with him. And touch him. And have him sing to her....omg. I'm going to hyperventilate.

Well, people, the tivo bar says we are 20 minutes in...and I have gotten all my money's worth so far. Now, the Love Guru shameless hawking is going to start to bug me, because I don't want to see the movie one :30 sec trailer at a time.

Jason Castro...well, there you go. The show takes it's first steamy poo. I didn't even listen to it. Bloop Bloop Bloop.

Cool, they won a hybrid Ford car. Awesome. OMG< Donna Summer is coming on? What...oh no they dressed them like her. Amanda Overmyer is not having any of this shit. She can barely dance and sing at the same time. She's the only one in pants. OMG, her solo. I cannot stop laughing. I can't even type. She sounds constipated. OMG, they dug up Donna in a rehab in Vegas, no doubt.

Ryan Seacrest is wearing eyeshadow. Carly Smithson and Michael Johns get to sing a duet. Nice for them. Bloop Bloop...couldn't listen.

Jimmel Kimmel. Nice. This ought to be good. OMGl Sanjaya sighting. JK, is pretty funnyl And may God Bless our new American Idol. ha ha.

Oh boy, our top 6 guys. What, they let MJ sing a song not from Queen? Hey, the stripper is back. Duuuuuude. JC. Chickezie. oh, people, if you slap down $70 bucks you can see this live this summer. Are you going to do it? Nopers.

Oh boy, Bryan Adams is here. What happened to him? He could have been behind me in line at Taco Bell, and I would have never known. Click Click ...no time for that shit.

Oh, my JORDAN. She's in the Princess castle.

CD and Zzzz Topp. Now they better let him sing, because they sure can't. Dude he is living the dream. Up there singing with the power trio. My husband said he has seen ZZ Top 8 times. EIGHT TIMES. hilarious. Oh lord with the guitar solo. OMG, I wish they had put him with someone better, but whatevs. I'm too young to like these guys.

WTF? That Mikaela Gordon is a hooker...a goth hooker. She is absolutely the most obnoxious person I have ever seen on tv. I want Miss Gentry's tshirt. That was awesome.

Graham Nash and Brook White. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...someone wake me when this snooze a rooni is over. Oh, perfect time to go to the kitchen for a sweet treat. mmmm.

OMG the JONAS BROTHERS. That middle one is a hottie. HOWEVER, I am too old to drool over these pre-pubescent little boys. They make Zac Efron look like the ugly stepsister in Cinderella. That little rico suave dude in the silver suit is just so Miami Vice hot.

Who the fuck is this lady with a red purse. Pat has come from the audience. She is dressed to the nines. OMG, not bizarre talent tape. OMG, they brought that crazy ass dude and a marching band. Now they have ruined this show and turned it into a fucking circus. OMG, now I hope David Cook doesn't win this shitty show. Ok, I'm over it.

One Republic dude looks like Spencer Pratt. Archie is getting to get his groove on. Nice job. He actually looks like a grown up when he's not wearing a white jacket. Squinty eyes and all...he's having some lip licking fun with this song. Love this song. That was nice. Now look, where the fuck is George Michael. I heard from my east coast tipster that he's on. And Seester tried to call and blow the ending for me as well.

Oh yeah, Jordan is on. Of course, she has to be, she won last year. Hey, you know what? This girl is great. Of course, she was my favorite all of last year anyway. Is she taller? My husband said, "Why did they put her in high heels"? Is my husband gay? Why does he turn guy while watching this show? He loves this shit. If you knew my husband, you would die laughing. He's a car mechanic kind of dude. Like mr wrench...and he loves this SHIT. And TOP CHEF...and his race car.

OMG. Ben Stiller Jack Black and Robert Downey Jr. as PIPS. Now that is some funny shit. FUNNY shit. funny shit. A SUPA STAH, BUT HE DIDN'T GET FAR. Jack Black is going to split his britches. This is one long ass song. RBJ is gone OH, nope he lost his pants. OK, that was funny. Best filler shit in 7 seasons. I give them that.

Carrie Underwood is coming up. OH, I hate this song. But isn't she a little vision in white. That girl is absolutely perfection. I am not kidding, my husband said her coochie is hanging out. Ok, well, there goes the gay theory. He's checking out coochie, so I'm safe.

Oh, look the Guitar Hero ad has Archie in it too. Only he had to wear boxers. David Cook got to wear tighty whities. They both could have used a trip to see the olly girls at SunSet Tan.

Oh good the girls are going to drag George out of the closet. Oh, look at Janis Joplin, she did not even remember those words. She forgot those freaking words. That was stellar. OH, look at little Chikezie. The David's are like the 2 brides at a gay wedding. They are being paraded about, like a couple of guys at a commitment ceremony. It's such a big celebration of the 2 Davids. Hey I think I just say MJ elbow jab DCook. Amanda Overmeyer just forgot all the words. ok, yes she did. On her solo. OMG, she flubbed. Poor thing. I bet they kick her off the tour. She hates this shit. Now where the hell is GM? They've hit all the good songs. WTF? Ok, here he comes. Oh Pauler is going to drop dead. She is so excited. Oh y'all. George is not perserving well. See, little kiddies...play with drugs and your hella hair falls out along with your teeth enamel. And he's British so his teeth didn't have a good start to begin with in life. if they had a Lifetime Channel for Men, they would be playing the George Michael story 24/7. He has been down every wrong road possible, except those blocked by traffic jams caused by Boy George. He looks like Bella Lagosi. I love this song. I think I'll just listen to the one on my 8-track from college. I saw him in concert. First American tour in 17 years...oh, he had a cold. Oh how sad. Well, that's ok, they probably won't let him have cold medicine in rehab either.

Ok, this is it people. Live with the results. I think David Cook really wanted to win. Look at him. And Simon gave a really nice speech.

OMG OMG OMG. HE WON HE WON HE WON. I CAN BARELY TYPE I'M CRYING SO HARD. DAVID COOK WON! Oh, man what a great win. yippy skippy. Finally, I'm vindicated for the heart break of my loss of Daughtry. And we don't have to endure all the Archuleta interviews over the next couple weeks. Awesome. Now, we can finally find out if winning idol hurts a rock star's chances.

Well, people, it's been one hellava ride. I know it was a boring season in ways, but one of my favorite finales and my favorite winners since Carrie for sure. I will never forget the Bo and Carrie finale. I have never cared since then. Until tonite. And I knew David Cook would be fine, no matter what. I am so happy. I love the winner song, actually. And I absolutely have not stopped crying. They keep showing his brother bawling. Remember how DC came with this bro to watch him audition and ended up trying out as well. ha. Here comes the confetti. thanks god I recorded the news afterward cuz this shit ran over. And his brother mouths to the camera...'that's my brother'. Oh, the tears. I can't stand it. I am a big bawling baby.

So, what will I talk about until next January. Well, stick with me, I come up with funny shit now and again. I travel, I wreck cars, I get hospitalized, and there are always good stories to be found at Rest Stops, don't forget. And I love to hear from you as well. Don't be strangers this summer. Send me good tips NJ Fan...I love your secrets. I will always be mining the freakin' internet for David Cook news, for any idols who have nipple slips, any rehabbers, etc. Should be a tame bunch this year. BUT you never know.

And now for my top 3 favorite funnies from this season:

-false starts: Brooke White
-forgotten words: Whoopi Weave Castro only to be topped by Amanda tonite in the George Michael montage of musical melodies
-forgotten place in time: Pauler Abdul

Love to you all...xoxo. It's been a blast!!! Season 8 in January....can't hardly wait already. I may audition. Tee Hee.

ColeyB

Our Last Performance Night of Season 7: The David Showdown

First, let me start off by giving you the head's up that I stayed home sick today with a colossal migraine. The kind the barametric pressure brings on that makes you feel like you gargled with a 5th of JD and chased it with Tequila. Hang over doesn't begin to describe the pain and sensitivity to light. Even my cat purring in my ear was annoying. Ok, so I'm one of those people that doesn't stay at home sick well, I get fidgety. And, not knowing I was going to get sick, I left my laptop at work, and bam, I had nothing to surf in bed with. So, I read nothing today about Idol, and/or any predictions. I'm sorry, but I litterly was down for the count. To use the boxing terms that will be tossed about the ring tonite. So, anyway, if I'm not funny tonite, well too fucking bad, turn on the comedy channel. That's the brain pain talking. Sorry for being so harsh.

So, the show starts off cheesy as always on big nights. I have to remember that little kids and old ladies love this shit. This is why the acne cream ads and the depends ads run back to back sometimes.

The boxing analogies and the whole silliness was better than a group sing. So, I was glad to hear they got to chose from a list of potential songs, so that we didn't suffer like last year when Blake Lewis (the beat boxer, remember) had to sing the song that favored Jordan. David Cook or Archie would have beat Blake or Jordan, I believe...well, maybe not Jordan, but I meant to say it would have been a David vs. Jordan last year, not Blake. Ok, I'm confusing myself. Let's get to the music.

Cook goes with U2. Not a bad choice. Did I tell y'all about downloading his album "Analog Heart" off the internet. He has 2 great songs on there, that I sing regularly in my mobile car. The Makeover and The Truth Is...or something like that. I literally cannot remember anything with these scrambled brains of mine.

Archie sings one of my favorite Elton songs. For me, I say it was a draw. Both did very well. I did love the U2 song alot, but chills did spill on the Archie tune. This is going down to the wire people.

Second song by Cook...the songwriter contestant choice. Ok, sorry DC but this song should have been sung by the Jonas Brothers. Ugh. I did not like the Umm Bop-ness of this song. Maybe Hanson can pick it up on a rehab tour.

Archie...his song was nice. I think this kid is really showing his shiznits tonite.

3rd song: Collective Soul for DC and Imagine for Archie. Well, I LOVED the Cook song. I will be buying me that shit tonite on Itunes. That was awesome. Archie, nice job, again. Already heard it once. Wish you sang something new.

Do I agree with the judges that Archie won the night. Maybe. Do I think Cook would make a better Idol. Maybe. Do I think Cook wants to do all the stupid bullshit that comes with being a winner of Idol. Nope, probably not. Did he see where Bo Bice went after taking second to Carrie...probably. Did he see what happened to Daughtry after a 4th place exit? YEP, no doubt, and he's got his eyes on THAT prize. He don't give a rats ass about the confetti raining down on his spiky hair tomorrow night, 'cuz homes is busting it out to LA to rock that city blind.

So, another season comes to an end tomorrow night. Oh how I've loved me yet another season of Idol. A season that brought us instruments on stage for the first time. Who will forget Brooke starting and stopping at the piano bench? Our first contestants that blatantly forgot words on stage...and stopped! Our first set of dred locks...who will ever forget the Whoopi Weave? It was a cool season. I liked it. My second blog season. I'd like to thank my peeps...my regulars who stop by with wittiness and wonder...Lu, AmyB, Chris, Jeffro and his office crew, TinkfromCalif, NJ Fan, Seester, Mare Maloooooo, Suki, DeeDee's office mates, AC, the crazy work peeps that snicker behind my back BMov, Player, D, and I'll stop now before someone sues me. I'll shout out to Chad...we missed you this season. And Christina. And I think we've all learned one thing. They better shake this shit up next season, because we got bored this year. And I mean more than shuffling Paula's cheater cards. (no doubt my crowning memory of this season 4 sho) I'll give it to you, Yes, we had the best finale of all 7 seasons. But we really lost our Sanjaya. I wish Michael Johns and the Janis Joplin nurse had stuck around a bit longer, atleast we always held our breath to see "would he really sing another frickin' Queen song?" "would she really come out all raspy voiced and sing Dolly Parton? Sorry, but I too, missed the girls with boobie photos that popped up, that Danny Noriega and his Carol Brady shaggin' head bob weavin' self exited WAY too early. Imagine if someone was in this competition with a voice like Archie but looked and acted like anything else but an Idol. Like a sleeze bag heroin addict skinny chic dude or girl, but the voice of an angel.

So here's to tomorrow night, "wonder what celeb will sing, or past idol?", we have the crowning of another champ, and here's to many happy songs to spill forth from The Clive Davis Hit Record Machine.

xoxo.

Sad final note: Lift up your prayers, if you so choose to do such a thing. Luke Menard, remember him from this season top 24?...looked like Luke Perry (90210)?...he was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma. Went in with a cough, just like my dear AmyB, thought it was Pneumonia, turned out to be the Big C for Luke as well. Best wishes, many prayers and good vibes to you Luke. As you all know, AmyB is thriving well...and we hope the best for Luke and for Sen. Ted Kennedy as they fight toward recovery and remission.

Dang it...

I knew I should have just made a turkey sandwich...but NOPE I had to go to Jack in the Box. And guess what happened?

I smashed my car into my flowerbed/retaining wall. UGH. STUPID STUPID. I have a circular driveway and it slopes downward, and I just hugged that wall a little too closely. DANG IT.

Wasn't it just a month ago when that ball of metal flew through my windshield? Wasn't it just November when that crazy bitch hit me from behind in her Toyota Prius? God, I should just move next door to the body shop.

The worst news of all? My husband was only 20 feet away inside the boat, installing a new shifter, heard the noise, and I couldn't even come up with a fun fib or ANYTHING. He screamed, WHAT WAS THAT? And you know me and my smart ass mouth. I said, "Oh, that sound that was sort of like a Lexus scraping against our retaining wall?" OMG, fireworks.

But, in his defense, he didn't even yell at me. He just said, "hey, don't forget to tell them to pull the pickles from my Jumbo Jack."

And that was that. Deep breath. Drama Mama has stepped into it again. Jeez.

The HILLS on the cover of the Rolling Stone...

Well, I continue my search for all things "The Hills" and my obsession is being fed a very nice diet indeed. These little tramps are on the cover of The Rolling Stone. People? Are you grasping the gravity of this shit? The cover of the Rolling Stones...like hum the lines of the song. This is a big deal and people work their whole lives to make it 'on the cover of the Rolling Stone"...like who? Well, like The Rolling Stones...and other big music acts. So, hmmm...did Heidi's single suddenly hit the biosphere, resulting in musical coronation by getting on the cover of music's bible? nope, but her ass, and boobage of her friends is quite nice, so what the hell...and the show is on MTV, which is Music Television, so there's the thread.

The article is quite good. Sort of puts out there some secrets to help alleviate the question of is it real or staged or scripted, and there is a difference between the 3 of these.

REALITY: Are they really friends, and hangout outside the show? Did they attend each other's birthday parties in the past...share clothing, and go on family vacations together with their parents in high school? Yes, and no. LC and Lo are the longest and oldest friends...since like 3rd grade. There is some history there. 12 years I do believe. Heidi and LC hooked up in SF in design school. And came back to LA together. I did not watch Laguna Beach, and don't tempt me to find it online. I don't think Heidi was on that show. Audrina came along by being discovered for the show...no natural connection to any of the girls...and this falls under the category of 'staged'.

STAGED: Adam DiVello, Exec Producer and Creator, went up to Audrina at the poolside and said, "Hey nice boobies, wanna be a tv star." And she did, of course, because she probably had $5.00 and an RedBull as her sum worth at the time. So, he was scoping out that apartment complex to land LC and Heidi...and Heidi only lays by the pool at that time, because MTV hadn't gotten her a sweet job at Bolthouse yet... so, Adam and Audrina met "naturally' by the poolside and she was officially, in Heidi's words "you're adopted...hang out with us." And the rest is history.

SCRIPTED: Not word for word and cue cards, but the girls tell them what they are doing that day, and what will go down, loosely, and then production sets up the cameras at those locations. There are alot of car chase scenes. One thing to note...this show gets mad props for the beautiful views of the Hollywood Hills and all the beauty surrounding it. Those aerial views aren't just traffic helicopter shots, people, they are the work of skilled craftsmen.

So, anyway, that's the scoop as I see it.

signing off on Sunny Sunday.

Rare Weather Times in Northern California

OMG, what? ColeyB is going to talk about the weather? slow day in Celebrityville?

Well, yes, and no. I mean a Kennedy is in the hospital, which is the equivalent of Prince Charles falling off a polo pony. The Kennedy's are American Royalty. I mean he was on the CNN crawler all day yesterday. Headline news had nothing more to report except he had a seizure and was rushed to the hospital. But the crawler kept going, all day.

Any way, all I was going to say is we are in a heat wave, and the world is freaking out. I mean people are coming out of the woodworks. Usually no one walks in the neighborhood in evenings really, 'cuz it's between 55 and 60 degrees year round...and windy. But not right now. I'm riding the wave in my shorts, sporting my pasty white legs for all to see...well atleast those that scale my 6 foot fence...cuz I would have to pass out sunglasses were I to sport these babies in public. I'm talking Nicole Kidman white, people. And to quote one of my favorite sitcoms, "I have so many bruises on my legs, I look like a wife in a Lifetime movie." ha ha.

I'm launching my own personal effort to save money starting with pedicures, due to the unfortunate gas crisis. My beauty treatments are going to be scaled back. And shopping is dunzo. I have to wear last year's summer clothes. The fucking oil crisis is killing me. So, I announced to my hubby that we would not be getting his and her mani pedi's any longer. And in a moment of weakness I went to Target and bought a foot spa. ha ha. I justified that it cost as much as one trip to "Nice Nails" on Springs Road, and he said...so true. I wondered if he would want to use it. Well, OF COURSE, he did. So we took turns bubbling last night while watching 2 Grey's Anatomy episodes back to back. That was fun. And only $40.00. We couldn't go to Mr. Eddy's Pizza & Pasta for that price.

Instead of shopping today, I am gardening and enjoying the weather in my backyard, and typing on my patio table. So fun.

more later...

x0x0

Here's your Friday Funny...The Hills Cartoon

Ok, is this the funniest thing ever. Spencer Pratt SO is Butthead. OMG. Now Brody, he's a babe, so not sure he fits the Beavis persona...but people, this was so funny when I found it yesterday, I just had to share.

Hope everyone has a happy Friday!

xoxo

Guess what I did yesterday on Itunes?

I posted the very first review of a new album being released on Tuesday. Ha. Now and forever more, my review of the album is the first one you see when you click on the artist.

So, go visit the Itunes Store, search out Ryan Cabrera's new album, Moon Under Water, and there you will see ColeyB. I never bought a Ryan Cabrera album before. But I like the new vibe he's laying down. As I wrote in my review, I heard him with Seacrest on KIIS-FM (I download the podcasts and listen to them on the way to work...I'm so cool, aren't I ??? Not really, just a celeb junky.) Anywaze, Ryan told his "major record label" to f-off and he made his own music and it's good. I like it alot.

He's dating Elvis's granddaughter, Riley Keough, Lisa Marie's daughter. I wonder if she footed the bill? nah, Ryan got major cash from his first gig...he was like Zac Efron before Zac Efron. Where is Zac anyway? Oh, did you hear the line in Gossip Girl the other night when Little Jenny found out her boyfriend was gay? And one of the girls goes "now she knows how Vanessa Hudgens feels" Ooh, snap, that was not nice. Another person they are trying to drag, kicking and screamin' out the closet is little Chace Crawford. He's on GQ this month...which if they aren't careful will be Gay Quarterly, but they probably call it that anyway, and have for years. not being a gay man, I wouldn't know, but I do recall a good friend of mine always picking it up and reading it by the pool...and he's a certified Rainbow Warrior.

Well, I guess it's time for me to shower it down, and slide it between the sheets...catch some zzzz's 'cuz the work house needs me to bust it up tomorrow. And my wig needs extra prep time now that the wind is howling and humidity is on the rise.

xoxo...coleyb

Who will be in the Finale...let's see!

Well, that opening song was lame. I can't really be serious because I bloop blooped through it. And OMG, Fantasia has outdone herself in hideous-ness. The first thing that comes to mind is James Brown. She's like the female James Brown here. This is horrendous. She's hopping around that stage like a rapper gone rabid. Ok, I've seen enough of the pink q-tip head of Fantasia.

Ok, here we go...lots of background and hometown visiting and really, I was trying to put myself in their shoes. And I just cried. I can't imagine if people were screaming coley coley coley. I'd drop my dentures, for sure.

So, I cried through most of the shitzness on this episode. Very emotional. I love David Cook too much. I get so emotionally involved with these people..and then I start my stalking plan. I mean look, I did get a photo of me and Ace Young, so there is never a thought in my head that I won't get to see one of my idols in the future. I saw Daughtry in concert on his meteoric rise up. He so would not be playing at the Addison Food Festival in North Dallas ever again. He's uber hot now. I only paid $12.00 for a ticket to that concert! Which by the way is 3.00 more than a ticket to the Avril Lavigne concert in LA last week, that she ended up cancelling due to SLOW SALES...not really she was 'exhausted'. Mmm Hmm. Sorry, I sound like Perez Hilton now.

Ok, back to Idol. Look, I don't care to write any more. Except I keep forgetting to note: What the hell is up with Randy. He's got his panties in a wad about something. He either needs to eat another sandwich...he's sort of fussy like I get when it's time to eat...and he is diabetic. But really, me thinks I know his problem. That news of Mariah Carey marrying Nick Cannon was a real blow to Randy's balls. I mean that hit him directly in Big Jim and the Twins. He's crushed, she didn't invite him to the wedding, or tell him about it or nothin'. I think she will always be the one that got away from him. If you ask her, she probably says, "Randy who? Now which one of my 72 albums did he play on? OOOOhhhh, that Randy. Oh yeah, he's sweet."

Ok, back to the results. Ok, like why do they keep letting Archie off the hook early, and he never has to sweat it out. David Cook is the one with the bad heart for fuck's sake. Are they trying to kill him? He already had to go to Cedar Sinai once with palpitations.

And finally, we have a David vs. David finale. It's like the battle of man vs. boy. It's weird. We've never really had such a diverse final 2...except, well, let's really think about this...
Season 1: Weirdo fro dude Justin vs. Texas Waitress Girl, Kelly
Season 2: Chubby Checker Rueben vs. Clay Gayken
Season 3: Fantasia vs. Plain Girl Diana DeGarmo
Season 4: Southern Rocker Bo Bice vs. Country Darling Carrie
Season 5: Trailor Southern Hick vs. LA Actress Hottie Girl
Season 6: Beat Boxer Blake vs. My Girl Jordan

Which brings us to Season 7: Hottie David vs. Not-old enough to be Hottie David

He's not old enough to have lost all his baby teeth, it appears. I'm sorry, but until his voice stops cracking and it appears he shaves, I can't be thinking about that Tween as a rock star.

David Cook is absolutely my favorite. I love that I picked him early in the season. I feel like I got to ride a good wave for a good while, but I am preparing myself for those little dumbass chicks that will dial their little Hello Kitty phones all night long voting for that freaking Archie.

Anyway...love to you all. xoxo

The Triple Threat...The Final 3

Alrighty, for those of you that don't watch the show and have me recap it..and.I can't believe there are those of you out there!!! Anyway, they announce that the idols will perform 3 songs...one picked by judges, one picked by producers and one they get to pick on their own. So Pauler picks a Billy Joel song for David Archuleta. And so he sings it, so far, with no band back-up...and here comes the strings. It truly is a beautiful, beautiful vocal performance. Nice job Archie. He is VERY talented, this kid. Think about it people...there are buttwipes out there cashing in, that can't hold a candle to David. Nice job Archie. I hate your Dad and his newspaper boy cap, trying to be cool. I think Pauler picked well for him. Randy: Gives his mad props Pauler: Heaps praise Simon: Very good, no surprises and a bit predictable. Didn't give him the outstanding mark. Good, Good.

Syesha is singing Randy's pick...Alicia Key's "If I Ain't Got You". Syesha looks like a beauty queen in that beaded gown...she could be walking the Oscar red carpet with Jamie Foxx tonite, she looks beautiful. That girl did an awesome job with that song. She is fierce. I'm telling you, so far, they are bringing it full-on game tonite. Amazing how they all seem great since Jason is out. Syesha is really peaking, as Randy points out.

Ok, side bar...me and my husband argued about something...did Cook or Archie ever come in the bottom 3? Where they ever in the 'non-safe' side? Help me on that one.

Simon, you suck. David has to sing a black lady's melodrama song. PUH Leeze make him change it up. Because I can't fall asleep this early in the show. Ok, so Simon was right...this range is perfect for his voice. And yes, he is changing it up. AWESOME. He blew it away. I have good bumps. The crowd was on their feet before he even came close to finishing. Randy gave him weird rocking shizola, and Pauler points out the squibbling. Simon points out Round 1 goes to Cook and Cowell. Wow, David has a beauty of a mom. What a sweet guy. Hi Mom! hee hee. I bet he rocks it out on his final song.

Archie is going to sing Chris Brown...With You. Ok, Hip Hop is just not working for me here. Those dumbass tan plaid pants and brown t shirt remind me of a guy I used to date that only wore brown cords. I'm having a bad flashback here (Seester...I'm see Mark here...ugh) Ok, I did not like it. He's is not a black dude rapper hopper. Ok, Randy agrees with me. Pauler, she had a little bit of criticism..Simon applauded that he took a risk. And said he was a chico dog trying to be a tiger. I was waiting for a comment on his awkward butt wiggles. I wonder if his Dad told him to pick that song?

Syesha...Fever by Peggy Lee. This is going to be an actress/stripper performance. Guaranteed. Hey, does anyone remember her original spikey afro-ish wig? My husband is a little worried about her accidentally showing her "Britney" tonite, since that dress is so short. Paula did not like the song choice...and listen, Pauler was right. Does Syesha want to make records of freaking Peggy Lee, shit? Simon busts her on that one and called her a Lame Cabaret performance.

David Cook singing "Dare you to move", by Switchfoot. Huh? He says: It lyrically wraps up the Idol experience for him. Ok, bring it on. Why do his songs always seem so short. What? It's over already? Ok, so Pauler said it best. 1 min 30 sec. Yeah, it was a little weird for everyone. I didn't like it so much. Maybe all of it, I would have. Look, I wish effing Idol would have skipped the crappy mayor reading the crap to Archie...and given those 30 seconds to David Cook.

Archie: Dan Fogleberg song. Nice selection I guess, but it's suckish. So ballad-like and so 'meh'. Randy liked it, and Pauler said "very lovely". Simon thinks he sang the song well. Simon hated the song choice, but it wasn't David's fault. Simon said, he thinks he did enough to get into the finals next week.

Oooooohhhh...Justin Guarani is in the crowd. Yuk. Right next to Rex Lee.
Syesha: This girl is putting on the sex kitten act tonite. She's looking for that recording contract or a gig with the Pussycat Dolls. I don't know this song, Rihanna, from the Happy Feet soundtrack. But I do think she did a good job with it. Atleast it felt ok. Pauler slammed her..and said I don't know if you were going to make it to the final two. Not a defining moment. And Archie was not defining. And they saved the best for last.

I hope he brings the defining moment. Aerosmith "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing". I love the semi-circle of string instruments. BEST PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT. Ok, so I hate to say they are stacking the deck, but really people, did they have strobe lights, strings and freakin' Ricky Minor band dude rocking the electric guitar on any of Syesha or Archie's songs? Nope.

David Cook wins the night. Yep he did. Bye Syesha. You were beautiful tonite. I bet you will make a great actress. Look at Ugly Betty's Vanessa Williams.

Well, that was fun. Only one more week. So fun. So sad to say goodbye.

Penn Pals? A Lively Romp at the Pool and Romance Ooh La La

Nope, this isn't an episode of Gossip Girl...shot in NYC btw. This is Serena and Dan in Real Life...and that are getting their Blake and Penn digg each off-set GROOVE on. And no, I do not think this is a publicity stunt, as Blake would never allow photos of her white ass hanging out of that bikini on that lounge. All bagging out like she is wearing a diaper. Of course, this is no secret romance anyway. It's been out a while.

Last nights Gossip Girl was whacked good. Season Finale of The Hills - Season 3 was last night too. It was insanely boring. What? Yep, I mean I may have watched like 25 episodes in a row and am suffering burnout. You know how I become whatever I love? I'm talking like Whitney now. Really? Wooowwww. Stoner like, kind of.

My new favorite Itunes mix is a total glomeration of The Hills tunes. Remember how I used to want to get a guitar pick from Chris Daughtry? I'm so over that. I want Lauren Conrad's headbands. At least one. Autographed. NO, what I really want is that beautiful bejeweled headband that Whitney wore at The Crillon Ball in Paris. I covet that. It was stellar.

xoxo.

E! Online posts this about Amy Winehouse

Now can you believe that E! online, which I actually think is a credible website...and they post this..It's so weird. I can't believe them and they slimy tabloidy way they wrote this acticle...this woman is seriously ill. This is what addiction and out of control life is like. And it's illegal to lock someone up for mental illness. So, they have to wait until she robs someone or something. It's just a catch 22. I feel really bad for her. I also wish there was something society could do about helping people with addiction besides just making drugs illegal. It ain't working.


Amy from Stellar to Cellar:

We're starting to understand how people addicted to crack have trouble kicking the habit. Here's our drug: Every time we see a crazy picture of Amy Winehouse, we just can't keep from posting it.
Like this one, where we see wraith-like Amy taking a break from recording in London, deciding that stripping down to her bra and hitting the park for a little jog is a fine way to relax. Makes sense. To no one.
We love that she's a free spirit, bordering on being a loony bird, but we just wish she'd quit doing crazy things so we could stop posting the pics.
Please, please help us, Amy!

My Day in Napa...saw a tiny celebrity...

Ok, so I just had the most awesome-tastic day with my girl Mae Mae. She's the bride-to-be...rookie fiancee' chick...and since I am a Napa Bride Veteran, who better to take along site shopping than me? I know the tough hardball questions to ask these bitches, like what the fuck happens to that shit when it rains? LOL. That potty mouth stayed home and I was Napa Chic today.

Weather was stellar...traffic cooperated...and we only got lost once. **** star experience. Well, we were being toured through one of the last wineries, by the wedding hostess...and all I could think the entire time was "Hot Tranny Mess, Hot Tranny Mess". She was like 7 ft 2 and she had on Beetlejuice pants. Seriously. Anyway, was on my way to the loo, and I passed through a crowd that was being poured a tasting, and some man shoves a glass in my hand and pours me some wine. [insert record needle screeeeech sound here] People....ColeyB is not allowed alcohol. It's like teasing the tigers at the zoo. Do not wake the sleeping alcoholic....except I never drank. I just can't. It's isn't a pretty thing. So, I drank it of course, I mean why not, what's one little sip? Well, I LOVED it, so I fetch Mae Mae and she says, oh, let's go taste some more [more screech sounds please] So we belly up to the bar and get a couple poured. And we drink more. Ok, time to buy. Paid and split. It's like 2:00 and we
haven't eaten all day except one cheese stick. I announce to MM...I'm so drunk...just as some dude passes me and busts out laughing. Then MM starts hitting me on the arm, and pointing "look look, cameras...shooting...it's its its...and she can't spit it out. And I finally focus and I see them and I shout, "Oh my God, It's Big People, Little World...I mean Little World, Big People, I mean LIttle People BIg World...oh what the fuck, just let's go follow them.

So, we stalked the Little People. I'm just glad I didn't run up to them. I've watched the show alot, and I wouldn't know what to say. Cool show. Check it out if you haven't already. First pick is me, snapping a pic, of Mae Mae stalking the poor lady. Then the second pic is the mom and her friend, and the camera crew.

Here's Mae Mae (not her real name, just a nick alias because I don't have publishing rights for her face, at this time ... LOL) as she gets too close to her prey and backs off in embarrassment. She sort of rear-ended her victim, a rookie mistake often made by celebrity stalkers...note I hid in the foilage and used the zoom lens. I'm stealth that way...and I was too drunk to run to catch them. I guess we know who isn't going to work for TMZ any time soon, Mae Mae. Don't quit your day job!

David Cook's Home Town Visit to Kansas City, MO

Sold out concerts and screaming fans welcomed Hometown favorite David Cook. Article reads:

In Kansas City, Mo., the crowds withstood wind and drizzle for a glimpse of the shaggy-haired and raggedy-voiced rocker Cook, a native of the suburb of Blue Springs. His hometown tour — during a day Missouri and Kansas City officials declared "David Cook Day" — started bright and early with TV appearances on the local Fox affiliate, followed by his late-morning appearance at the Power & Light District.
"What are you guys doing here?" Cook said, teasing the screaming crowd. "Guys, thank you, seriously. ... I don't know what else to say. This is the coolest day of my life."
Fans sang along loudly as Cook performed Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer" and a rocked-out version of Mariah Carey's "Always Be My Baby," taking over the lyrics at times while Cook strummed his guitar and grinned.
"So do you guys watch the show, seriously?" Cook asked between tunes. "Man, you guys are fantastic."
Ten-year-old Jake Lamb said he joined the tens of millions who watch the show solely because of the local connection. "We just started watching the show since he was on it," Lamb said.
Safe to say he probably also wasn't the only kid missing school on Friday on account of "Idol." His mother, not seeing any harm in a missed day of classes for the occasion, was behind the plan.
"This is once in a lifetime," said Gusti Lamb. "We want to support (Cook) and watch him go all the way."
A bigger concert in Blue Springs later in the day was sold out.
"How often does 'American Idol' come to your town and you get to see it up close and personal?" said Rachael Hufford, of Kansas City, Kan. "I wasn't missing it for nothing."
Her friend, Anna Bergen, of Leavenworth, Kan., called the whole experience "inspiring."
"You think that this is hard to reach," Bergen said. "But look at David Cook, he made it."
For all the adoration, the "Idol" hopefuls were still going to have to sing for their supper — each was expected to tackle "The Star-Spangled Banner" later that night: Archuleta at the Jazz-Lakers NBA playoff game, Mercado at the Rays-Angels game and Cook at the Royals-Orioles.

If you want to see Syesha stuff or David Archuleta, google it. I am no longer unbiased on the reporting on this show. I'm a David Cook all the way fan. If David Cook wins, I will be 3 for 4 in my picks. Daughtry ruined my streak because America lamed out and voted Trailer Hicks (who? exactly my point.)

xoxo

Juicy scoop on Idol about David Archie

Ummmmm....stage dad alert, stage dad alert.

I do believe that this reporter spoke early in the season that I suspected David's peeps were picking his music and affecting his reactions to judges comments. He's like a little Stepford Wive at times.

Well, guess who's banned from rehearsals for the rest of the show? Daddy Dearest, who's name is Jeff. Now if you look at the picture of Dad, an Elliott Yamin look-alike, you will see that it appears a classic case of stage mom/dad. Poor little kid living out the dashed dreams of the parent. Sickening.

Here's the article from USA Today:

Backstage meddling has caught up with American Idol favorite David Archuleta's dad, who's been banned from rehearsals, a person working for the TV talent contest said Friday.
Jeff Archuleta was told this week by producers that he can no longer join his 17-year-old son David as he prepares for the show, the person familiar with the matter told The Associated Press. The person wasn't authorized to comment publicly and spoke on the condition of anonymity.Jeff Archuleta's intense backstage involvement had become a source of concern for the series, the person connected with American Idol said — but it was a lyric change on Tuesday's show that pushed producers to act.

Despite a warning, Jeff Archuleta insisted on altering "Stand by Me," one of two songs his son sang on the show Tuesday. By adding a verse from Sean Kingston's "Beautiful Girls," the father incurred additional costs for American Idol, the person said.

Fox declined comment. Attempts to reach Jeff Archuleta for comment were unsuccessful. A phone number listed under his name in Murray, Utah, was no longer in service, and Fox did not immediately respond to a request Friday evening for help in contacting the family.

Earlier Friday, David Archuleta was honored at a hometown celebration held at his high school in Murray, which Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman declared "David Archuleta Day."

The singer and his family declined to be interviewed at the event, but David Archuleta did speak with the Salt Lake City Fox affiliate, KSTU-TV. "Wow," he exclaimed as he viewed the cheerleading squad outside his stretch limousine.

------

Ha. That's a good one!

Happy Saturday party peeps. I'm headed to the Napa and Sonoma Valley today with a cool chick from work. xoxo

One Last blog tonite

OMG, Clay Aiken has the #7 album on itunes right now. OMG, the ClayMates are still after that boy. But the first review was from a boy...that would sort of lean me into thinking the Gaykens are adding to the purchases.

Clay Aiken is the Modern Day Barry Manilow. Pure and simple.

Observations of an OCD

To the trained eye, I appear normal. To you readers of the blog, something's not quite right with me, you occasionally think. Let me set you straight, and cease your endless wondering. Correct, I'm certifiable.

Close family and friends see changes in me. First it was the blog...well, actually they thought it was a little weird that I entered an office pool, betting on who would be the next pope. But I digress. Anyway, the blog was a biggie. Often, when I am stuck in traffic I think to myself...mmm...me me me...what about me. What am I? Who am I? I'm like reading a Dr. Suess in my head.

Ok, so if you figure me out, send me an email.

So, I was bored on the Bay Bridge, and so I got out my Ipod. Dammit, I just downloaded a new podcast about my latest obsession, the Hills...and I forgot to download onto my Ipod. Dammit. Dagnabbit. So, whatever, I pulled out the old Mac, set it up on my front seat, turned it on, hit the Itunes Icon, plugged in my ipod, downloaded it and I was done, before I even got off that flippin bridge. ha. No flies on me. I am unstoppable. ha. this is what I mean about obsession. Suddenly, I must consume everything Hills. I guess I am just like a Star Trek fan. Those Star Wars freaks are rabid as well. I'll get over it though. those people spend their life savings on costumes for conventions. hahaha

That podcast is flipping funny as hell. OMG, if you are a HILLS fan, you must listen to these guys make fun of it. They sort of love it, yet hate it. They call Spencer "King Douchebag" or King DB for short. Lots of talk about Audrina's boobies. And I love it.

Well, the big debate on the blogs and gossip ragstah's today was "Could Jason be that stupid, did he throw the loss, was he faking his forgotten lyrics, did he really mouth "Don't vote." Many theories. But people...really...for me, he's just tired and he's not smart enough to have orchestrated his departure. Not smart enough. he barely tried every week...and still beat out the others. Kind of funny..no one debating about who will win...or what are they singing next week. BTW, they are singing 3 songs and one of them is chosen by the judges.

Well, more tomorrow, which is Friday. Friday's I reward myself with a big fat tall giant coffee on the way to work...But tomorrow I have fancy coffee to make myself from Blue Bottle Coffee in San Francisco. Voted one of the top 10 coffee places in like the nation by Traveler mag. Google it. I went to the one in Hayes Valley today. $14.00 a pound and worth every penny. I also ate Sushi today. Yummers. Hanging in SF at the Design Firm is a balance of stress and fun. But I LOVES the peeps at the design firm. Cool cats for sure.

Well, off to bed. coley b-ster

maloo..got your vm, but my phone died, and then I had to listen to my podcast (see above) and forgot to call you...I know lame-o. I'll call you tomorrow. xoxo

Lu...where are you? Lunch?

Seester, watch for UPS today, I sent you a mother's day gift. Shocker. Don't flip out.

(sorry everyone, too lazy to open up email and send properly, so sorry, you have to read my personal shout outs)

Dred Man Walking

Ok, I stole that headline from Yahoo!. But hey, why keep funny shit to myself, I always say.

Anyhoo...it seems those producer types in tv, with the capabilities of analyzing every frame have come up with what looks like Jason Castro mouthing "Don't Vote" when Ryan was running his numbers on Tuesday night.

So people, I have my own conspiracy theory. This dude does not want to be a rock star. It's too much work, and he's "out of his league' as he said. As the old saying goes, "Be careful for what you wish for...you just might get it". I think his dumbass act was just that...an act. I know he didn't forget those Bob Dillon words. Even Bob Dillon on a 3 day bender can remember those words, they are so simple. It was an act.

Point #2: Texas A&M is a fucking hard school. And Jason is a Junior. By this time, the dummy cats are weeded out. 50% of the Freshman class flunks out. 25% of the sophomore class flunks. This kid is not stupid. You have to have an SAT of over 1000 to get in and be in the top percentile of your high school class. Otherwise, you have to go to a Jr. College, post a 4.0 and then transfer in as a sophomore. It's brutal. I know. I was proud to be put on Scholastic Probabation my Freshman year, after posting a glorious 1.7 GPA. For those not in the know, a 1.7 does not include any A's, or B grades. Yep, straight C's and an F for me. Bonus points for what I got an F in. That was statistics 101, thank you very much. I HATED THAT SHIT. I left the final exam after only 30 minutes of a 2 hour test. I just filled in the dots in a pretty pattern and skipped off to dinner with my peeps. I figured, a failing grade would surely land me in summer school. And that's the place I wanted to be. NO going home to my hellish home town...summer school in College Station was a happenin' place. Poolside with a margarita. So, I stayed over that summer, got me a BIG FAT A in Stat 101, and got off scho-pro, as it's called. That was fun. I love a challenge.

Now where was I? Oh yeah, Jason's a faker. I can't wait to watch him disappear like the morning marine layer over the San Francisco Bay. Shit, I forgot he has to go on tour. I bet he doesn't. I bet he fakes a broken Dred or something. Lice maybe?

LOL. Peace out on this shit. (stole that from Lu)

My Hills Addiction

Well, look at this picture. OMG, Laughing so hard I nearly peed myself.

Spencer is the evil a-hole of the show...every show needs one, of course. And he's awesome as they come. Evil, smarmy, makes Simon Cowell look like the Pope.

Anyway, I highly suggest you all get onto The Hills webpage on mtv.com and start watching. Every episode for 3 seasons is there for the watching. I started at Season 3. I mean I have to have some kind of life. I couldn't do Season 1 or 2, although, I will go back to season 2 and see Jason Wahler go to jail and rehab and find out all about the Sex tape that is still being talked about.

Love this show.

Ok, it's scary week...this is the night we lost Daughtry

Oh puh-leeze, don't make me say goodbye to David Cook tonite.

In any case, the opening song was great. I LOVE that Steely Dan song. LOVE it. So, anyhoo. I think that if one of the Davids go home tonite, it will be the biggest shocker of 7 SEASONS of this show. Really. I mean REALLY. Either of them would be good winners this year, but it's really a great divide among fan ages. The record companies probably want Archie, as they could use a male Miley Cyrus. He's cookie cutter Disney Dawgs. Now, they also can't ignore the sales numbers Daughtry posted either. Who's buying music? For me, it's really all about how is music being consumed. I think the internet is the great jukebox in the sky, and Itunes is the biggest server. It's more important to me to read the ratings a song has on Itunes than read Rolling Stone magazine.

So, anyway, I think I might explode if this isn't over soon. I put my 20 points on Jason this week.

David Cook is up now. Come ON. Stop draggin' this out Seacrest. THANK GOD. No shockers tonite. Yippee Skippee. It's a David shootout this year.

Ok, if I am able to toot my own horn, I am the ONLY person that picked David Cook in my pool to win the whole thing. There were a ton of Brooke and Carly's.

Ok, Jason has just confirmed what we all were guessing anyway...Brain Dead. he is so stupid. He has the entire nation in front of him and he choses to be stupid.

Moron 5 is up (no that was not a misspelling) This dude Adam is fucking Man-whore-exic. Skinny tranny mess. (-not hot) Don't ask me why I hate him so, but it has to do with Carrie Underwood and that's all I'm sayin'. This band sells alot of records. Listen, there are some real people out there that like the sound a man makes with a fucking clothes pin on his nose. Enough said. Look at his gaybert ass talking about Europe and San Antonio, again, Ryan is throwing him the opportunity to whore out his tour, and he blows it off and lists an entire continent and a mid-size city in Texas. Loser Moron.

Bo Bice. I was a big FAN. I definitely think Bo layed down some of the all time best performances ever on Idol. It was a heyday year with him and Carrie in the end. I didn't even care who won that year (ok lying here...I wanted Carrie just a tiny smidge more...just a little bit, and to assuage my guilt I bought all of his cds and music on Itunes.) In fact I just bought a Bo tune on Itunes with Santana last week. My husband loved this song, but he loves Southern Rock. Hey, too bad most of you will have deleted tivo by now, but the camera caught the 4 idols and Ryan jamming to Bo. And Ryan is just standing there with his hands in his pockets. Lame-o. Big Nerd. He wasn't feeling it for sure. Howie Mandel is in the crowd.

Ok, here we go. ha ha...Ryan said "you sang most of Tambourine Man". And that dumbass said "Somebody said I Shot the Tambourine Man". I thought that was pretty funny...ha ha...Jason, you dumber than dumb. You are dumber than the guys in Dumb and Dumber. OMG, I can't believe someone like him has made it this far in LIFE, much less this SHOW. I swear if I was Carly or Brooke I'd be so bitter that his whoopi weave made it further.

OMG, FINALLY HE'S OUT. And yeah, I got 20 points. My last words: Ladies and Gentleman, we have found the Male Kellie Pickler. If they were to meet...they'd die. They couldn't find their way out of the parking lot and starve to death. Never even make it on a date.

Ok, nighty night

The Final Four...oh how time flies....when your dozing off

Well, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Week better spice it up. that's all I'm saying. They got a done of artist's hits to choose from, so they better bring it.

David Cook goes first...and says he is channeling Simon LeBon. Duran Duran? (insert sound of needle scratching a record here). He says he is changing it up, so let's see. could be good....and now he is singing. Oh boy, it isn't happening for me here. Homey has left me feeling a little let down here. Listen, he sang it well. But it was a suck song. For me, tonite is going to be about song selection. David better bring a better #2 song, or we may see Cook go the way of Daughtry, who also exited #4. It's crazy time on Idol. Who's getting Brooke's votes? Or Carly"s

Syesha Turner...well, she is singing Proud Mary. Ok, whatevs. She did look great...and had a great time.

Jason Castro...go figure...pulls out stoner rock...Bob Marley's I Shot the Sheriff. I HATE THAT SONG, always have. WTF is that shit all about. I wish the guy that wrote this song had shot the sheriff...it passed through the sheriff and hit the deputy, and ricochetted off a rock and killed the song writer too. then we would never have been subjected to this shiteous song. EVER. Jason, this was SUCK SUCK SUCK. Why is this dude still in this competition? I swear to God Jason is the most mellow dude I have ever seen. He's like got 2 brain cells left and they are fighting to link up so he could speak. My husband said, "go back stage and smoke a fattie and come on back". LOL

Archie, sings Stand By Me. For fuck's sake, didn't Madonna just get inducted? Couldn't someone have picked one of her songs? I guess Archie singing "Like a Virgin" would be a little too close to home, huh? He changed it up a bit, so that was good. He's playing to the ladies tonite too. Nice job. From the sound of the crowd, this is tonite's favorite.

David Cook...#2...The Who. Ok, let's see how this goes. Ok, so now this IS WORKING OUT AAIIRIGHT to me. Teenage Wasteland. Rock on brother. I love this shit. Damn though, just as he was getting revved up, it ended. Dammit, they cut him off. Look, let them sing a song for more than 30 seconds. That sounded like a freaking Itunes test track, try before you buy.

You know, as I look at him, I'm thinking...he wants to get voted off because he has Daughtry to show that he don't need no Idol Title to be a successful recording artist. Nope. Remember how Bo Bice wished he would lose the title to Carrie Underwood, so that he could make the record he wanted.

Syesha....pulls some 1965 shit. Sam Cook. Ok, nice performance, but not my favorite song. She has a nice voice. She really does. Why wouldn't she just sing something we can all sing along with dammit. Entertain. Hey, her dress is spectacular. She really looks good with those hair extensions. She must have gotten the hair extension catalog from Bret Michaels. Syesha breaks down in tears and then Simon agrees with Pauler. Nice job tonite Sy and now Pauler is crying. OMG, she's like sobbing and losing her breath. And well...this shit is getting her votes. She's quite the little actress.

Ryan..."Randy, we are running out of time...Hell's Kitchen is going to start." That Ryan...he has such a tough job.

Stoner Stro is back with another Bob...channeling Dillon this time. Ok, I'm telling you what, smoking that fattie, and he forgot the words. HOLY Shit. huh huh hhhmmldkldksskk ((*&&^ OMG, I swear to all things, this shit cannot be scripted. Hilarious. They cannot make this shit up.

20 points on Castro this week. No shit. 20 points in my pool. He cannot survive, even the entire campus of A&M voting for him. Pauler is speechless. She can't even try to be nice on that one. Simon, "Jason, I'd pack your suitcase." Ok, here's the gig, that guy is done with this shit. He just wants to go back to Texas. And I think they are wheels up on that.

Archie, singing Elvis. Love Me Tender. Romantic love song. He changed it up over Elvis. Nice job. I think he had the most solid and consistent performances tonite. No doubt.

Randy loves that boy. He is all over him like white on rice. Simon said he crushed the competition tonite. Not hard to do when one of them can't remember their words and one sings Duran Duran. did you notice in the recap Jason's snippit was short, due to them having to cut out his missed lyric portion? haha.

Oh, Ryan, reminds everyone that this is the week that we lost Daughtry and Tamyra Grey....so vote. Well, you don't have to tell me twice, I'm out there to call David Cook, right now. I mean vote for him. I won't have my heart broken again.

xoxo.

coleyB

Jason Castro - Fueled by Aggie Power

Ok, so I got an email from the Aggie Alumni Association today, urging me to vote for Jason Castro. Ok, people, I have to let you in on a secret. Texas A&M breeds cult members. It's a freaking brain washing school. They start the summer before your Freshman year, drag you to the woods, call it camping, and teach you the "cheers" to yell at the Football games. Listen, those cheers are really chants. And they even have some grassy area that touches a special Memorial Building, and you aren't allowed to walk on it. Some might call this a mosque or holy building. Aggies are a cult. With that said, they are a do-good, suck up, syrupy sweet bunch of cult members, and I swear to God Jason Castro is the epitome of what everyone is like there...except he's the hippie version. Most guys there look like Tom Cruise in Top Gun. Seriously, there are like 3500 cadets on campus...it's a military school, atleast 25% of it is. I had a guy collapse and die by my dorm during early morning army drills. Ok, I digress. Back to Castro...Jason, not Fidel, in case I lost you with all the military blah blah blah, top gun, talk. So, here's the point of this blog. They have email blasted the entire A&M community to vote for Jason. Ok, like that's huge. I've pasted the letter below. Basically, if he gets through this week, they will film at A&M this Thursday. Ha. I hope it happens. I'd love to see the old stomping grounds!


Texas A&M student Jason Castro '09, a landscape architecture major from Rockwall, has made it to the final four on the Fox television talent show American Idol. If he receives enough votes tonight to advance to the final three, Jason will come home to Texas A&M to film a segment for the American Idol show, bringing a glimpse of Aggieland to tens of millions of American Idol viewers around the world. But for that to happen, the Aggie Network must join together to vote Jason through to the next round.

Something special happens when the Aggie family unites in support of a fellow Ag—bonds are strengthened, memories are made, and the Aggie story gains another layer. This is where you come in as a former student. Tonight at 7 p.m. Central time, take a moment to watch Jason perform live on American Idol on your local Fox station, then follow the instructions for voting Jason through to the next round. Voting is straightforward: a simple phone call or text message to the number on the screen.
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Here's an article from the College Station local newspaper. Ok, so like read this carefully. Their podcast voting sight is "Vote Jason Home"...meaning, vote him to stay so he gets to come home and see Aggieland. But to the trained Idol eye, it looks like a "get our soldier home where he belongs site...by voting for say one of the Davids." Hilarious. They should have run that one by me.



Jason Castro has an added incentive to perform well Tuesday on American Idol, while local Castro fans have an extra reason to vote for the Texas A&M junior.

If Castro remains after Tuesday's performance and Wednesday's elimination round, the singer and an American Idol production crew will tape a one-hour concert on the steps of the Jack K. Williams Administration Building at the east campus entry at 7 p.m. Thursday.

And A&M officials are inviting everyone to attend.

Aggieland is planning a tradition-filled greeting for the popular Fox television show (Channel 7 on Suddenlink Cable in Bryan-College Station), according to Jason Cook, A&M vice president for marketing and communications.

"This will be an incredible opportunity to showcase Texas A&M for a national television audience of about 33 million viewers," Cook said.

Activities will include a mini yell practice, while a host of campus organizations have been contacted about participating. On hand will be A&M President Elsa Murano, student body president Mark Gold and, of course, the Aggie yell leaders.

"The event continues to evolve and plans are moving quickly," Cook said Monday. "We have started promotion of the event via social networks such as Facebook and already have thousands of people who said they would attend."

A "Vote Jason Home" podcast is available on Texas A&M on iTunes U by clicking http://deimos3.apple.com/WebObjects/Core.woa/Browse/tamu-public.1529657407.01529657415.

Whether the campus efforts will go for nought depends to a large degree on the support Castro gets from voters.

"For all this to happen, Jason will have to perform well and get his share of the 45 million votes that will be cast," Cook said. "We're hoping Aggies will boost his numbers."

Castro is studying construction science at A&M. His hometown is Rockwall.

"The biggest thing about this is that Jason's love for Texas A&M is really coming out," Cook said. "The people at American Idol have heard so many good things about A&M, they want to come and see for themselves."

**********

so that's it. Thought I'd share that hilarity with you.

Mid-Life TV Crisis...MTV Meltdowns

OMG, I swear, I have hit rock bottom. I'm seriously out of the age range of Gossip Girl and The Hills, but I can't help it. I love this shit. So, you know me..I have to analyze it. And let's be clear...analyze and rationalize have the same meaning in the Big Thesaurus of ColeyB. I analyze to understand the thing I am obsessing about...and rationalize the behavior. So let's break it down party peeps:

Fact: I love Gossip Girl and The Hills and The Real World Hollywood
1. What do these shows have in common?
2. Where there any shows in your past that you watched like them?
3. How did you feel during those times?
4. Do you wish you felt like that again?

BINGO! Why that one college semester I managed to stay awake in Psych 101 has seemingly paid off...or the 4 years on and off I have spent in therapy...both probably playing a significant role here......so let's analyze those answers...

The shows have alot in common...all the girls are so stupid I love to laugh at them. I was never that stupid. NEVER. And I never had stupid friends like that. I was in the theatre, and those blonde girls could only remember dance steps, not lines of a script. So, I just am as fascinated by them as a 10 year old staring at a booger in a microscope. What else...oh, the guys are hot. I may be married, but listen, I didn't lose my eyesight on my honeymoon. Funny thing is I don't really look at guys in real life. I only like men if they seem kind of gay. The super straight single guys at work...I hate them. They are so boring. At my job, most of them are so young they talk about getting drunk alot or chasing 'hello kitty'... Anyway, I am off on a train here. Let's get back on track... ok, other similarities...all on MTV...and all have great sound tracks...and finally, HIGH drama.

Links to shows from my past...well come to think of it...YES, it's a bit like Melrose Place isn't it? When I was laying around my single little life having fun, I was loving me some Andrew Shue.

And yes, I want to be a stupid kid again...so, I guess that explains my obsession with this dumb stuff. But, history has shown, all the way back to Dallas, Dynasty and Knots Landing...Desparate Housewives...all of it...Laguna Beach...whatevs...there's always someone's drama you love to watch, to make your own weirdness seem normal.

So anyway, join me...it's good shit. Thanks Mae Mae for the tv viewing tips.

Hello ... It's Saturday...and I'm in a spiritual mood...

Hi everyone...what's shakin'?

Well, after a high drama week at the factory...which I now have to stop dissing on so much to keep from getting fired...it's seems some big Fucking Mouths at work think it is cool to tell people about my blog...thinking they are being nice to me. And they are...but when it gets to the bosses...that's when I get queasy. You never know when they might think the chick that writes this blog, might show up at the office and tell them what I really think! ha. I mean, if they haven't figured it out by now, I will tell them what I think anyway, and usually do. I guess I shouldn't be so worried. But really, some things I write kind of shock people. And for me, that's what's most shocking to ME. I think I work with some straight asses that are all holy and stuff. I mean, I know the old and new testament very well...and I'm not hatin' on religion, but jeepers, I can't think of any other way to describe it.

Ok, so I let the word God dammit fly at work the other day. That ain't cool. I say Fuck alot, but mostly laughing, but i think I did offend a Bible guy, and that made me feel really BAD. So, I'm off that word. Really, I shouldn't say it anyway, it's not nice. So, my new word is ....drumroll please.... DANG IT. I love it. Every time I say it, I laugh. And the drama at work is getting so high, and I mean blood pressure high, that I couldn't even go to work one day this week. I just couldn't do it. I work in cubes and the yelling over the cubes is getting insane. So, I had to pull into a Starbucks somewhere off I-880 and hoped it wasn't one targeted for a 'stop and rob' that morning. Cuz' I was not in the mood to 'bop and dodge' the bullets that morning. But a grazing of a bullet in like my fat little thigh could have gotten me some sweet time off and sympathy, wouldn't it? And maybe some free frappucinos in my future...I'm sure they have a Starbucks card gift program for the 'unfortunately grazed by a bullet' customer. In the hood, the Starbucks cards read, "Yo' Bitch Sorry Your Last Shot wasn't only Espresso". Peace out on that shit...(Lu, I love that phrase and stole it, and use it often...) I finally drug my ass into the office at noon, the Starbuck barista started mopping under my feet, I took it as a sign to beat it.

So, back to the co-workers at the Factory. So, the other day, I'm cruisin' to the mailroom...minding my own biz...and I catch the eye of this guy I'm working on a project with. He's a game developer artist type dude. I was just in a meeting with him talking about art and characters and trees and leaves and shit, and all kinds of junk I can't believe I get paid to talk about... So, I'm sort of secretly hoping to just say hi and fly, but he slows his roll and starts a convo. And after the usual, 'hey, what's up'...and some times I forget not to say "how's it hanging", which is sort of a joke with my husband...but isn't appropriate with dudes at the Factory...anyway, where was I? Oh, so he blurts out that he just read my blog. FUCK...now I am exposed. It's like someone caught me taking a shower. I'm like feeling so violated. Seriously. I just can't explain the sick feeling I got. And I immediately start interrogating him.. WHO TOLD YOU? WHO GAVE YOU THE ADDRESS? In my most CSI cool detective manner, of course. And he told me...so, I said "Dude, listen, that's my alter ego, and I'm not really that person. That's Blogger Cole, so take it with a grain of salt." Like I don't know. I don't know all kinds of shit about everyone else, so maybe I don't want them to know I talked to homeless people with pigs in rest stops. Ok, there's a point to this blah blah blahing, I'm doing...

The guy's reply was absolutely classic. He said, "Oh no, don't worry. It actually made you a much more interesting person to me." OMG, he fucking thought I was a geek idiot stupid head...and now I'm cool. Hysterical. I could have been insulted, but it was a compliment I believe...ha. So funny.

So, I found the office rat, later in the day, and said...Dude, you outted me! Replayed the story, and his response was..."Hey, that's geek code for You're Cool". We had a laugh. So, if you're reading this SP and CE...thanks for the laughs. Now get back to work in the ZOO, you lazy goofoffs.

More later...

xoxo