Coley B's Blog

Down to the Fab Five ...

2011-05-04T23:44:00.000-07:00

So how has everyone been. Sorry it's been a bit since I posted. It's nothing against y'all but man life is crazy for me. You probably know that I have ADD...and I get bored easily. So, I got an Ipad for Christmas and I have become a Plants VS Zombies addict. Seriously. I wish I had a log to know how much of my life has been wasted.

And then I finally got was dragged kicking and screaming into Facebook.

Hey, I won the the "caption of the week" submission couple of days ago. They asked for people to write a caption from a scene from upcoming episode, and I did..and I won. HA! As I wrote on FAcebook, this fulfills my dream of writing for a comedy show. And I didn't have to move to Hollyweird.

Idol is awesome, but seriously, I know you won't believe me, but I am LOVING, THE VOICE....Even though Cristina Aguilera looks like that wig will disentegrate at any moment, I still love that she holds it together and puts her plump bootie into those tight dresses with boobage squishing out the top and the whole 9 yards.

And Adam Levine...who knew he was sexy? Not me. I don't particularly like his music too much...kind of a whine and a little too girly. But Yabba Dabba Bazinga. Hot.

Ceelo is who I want to be best friends with. What a teddy bear, darling with a freak streak a mile wide. Love him.

Blake Shelton. Well come on down pardner...you tall drink of countryness. Loves him

So it sums up... I love THE VOICE.

Back to AIdol: Ryan, I do not like the new hair do with side part. You look like Dick Van Dyke.

JLO, my husband HATED your messy hair, and quite frankly, I think you looked more like MA on Little House on the Prairie tonite. Perhaps you were leaving for Marie Osmond's Mormon wedding right after the taping, in which I can understand the matronly chiffon turtleneck dress you were wearing. And that flower? Seriously it looks like you crashed into a florist running onto stage. not your prettiest look, sister. If I'm being honest.

I hope Jacob Lusk goes home, as I have wanted for 3 weeks. Why is he still there?

Haley killed it tonite. I was not impressed with James first song...but loved the second. Scotty can go on off to Nashville any time and it will be fine. Same for Lauren. Nashville better send a big bouquet of flowers to American Idol for doing their work for them. James will probably win, as he should. I pick Haley to be there with him, and I would have never given her a chance 2 weeks ago. I thought Casey would be around longer.

And finally, the weird random fact of the week about me: I bought a Panini press today at the mall because I am obsessed with a sandwich I ate last week.

Hope you are all well and looking forward to Summer!!! I know I am.

American Idol...finally a dude goes home

2011-04-16T09:35:00.000-07:00

Sorry Paul, but I despise Rod Stewart and you were totally Tiny Rod to me. I would like the number of your teeth whitener doctor before you go though. Tweet me.

By the way, an odd thing happened as you were voted off. I saw a really hot guy, once you shut your neon mouth closed. You have a nice face, cool hair and I really like YOU, not the Rod Stewart Tribute Man you seemed to be. I think you are hotter than Bradley Cooper actually.

Ok, so why am I writing this blog to Paul?

Alright Party Peeps, I'm not going to apologize for not writing for a while. I have not been insprired. To be honest, I haven't even watched the shows for performances, I just watch the vote off. I mean a speed watch, if I hate the song, I'm out. I always watch Lauren Alaina, Stefano, and James Durbin. When I need to be surprised whether I will cringe or like it, I dip into Haley. Never watch Gospel guy, like Scotty alot but it's not fun cheering for someone knowing he already has a career in country in the bag. He could sit out the rest of the show and have a record out by Christmas, and mark my words he will. Sometimes I feel he is a country Clay Aiken.

Hey, did you hear that Kimberly Locke is going to be on a new talk show replacing All My Children? Google it. I love her. I actually bought her album and it's awesome. She had that one hit "8th World Wonder" but there are other songs that were just as good on that album.

JLo is so beautiful...been saying it all year, and damn if People magazine didn't make it official.

I was working from home on Friday and there is this new show called THE GOSSIP QUEENS on and listen, you need to DVR that shit for a couple of episodes because there is so much going on I can't even cover it all here. Four comedians on a couch...a black lady that looks like Keanan Thompson from SNL in drag. A white woman that looks out of place. She never says a word and when she does it's like 'what?'. I think her agent said "take the gig, get some tv face time, let America find out who you are and then, we will get you a sitcom". Well, this American, says I know who you are and you ain't funny. Get off the couch.

Next on the couch, the guy from Ugly Betty who played the fashion reporter always bustin on Wilhemina Slater. The gay Filipino dude with spikey hair. Now that guy IS FUNNY. Seriously hilarious. And finally some Amazonian woman I have never seen, who was sort of funny.

But the best part of all was the Latino lady that came on with the hot gossip. OMG. She was seriously funny with that accent like Gloria on Modern Family. Hilarious.

Back to Idol: Steven has absolutely forgotten he is a judge. He thinks he is at a concert every night, like his own private party or something. So funny.

Casey Abrams. Talent locked in a nerd's body....that occasionally has lucid moments that are cool, but dissipate as quickly as they appear.

If you put a gun to my head and made me commit to who is going to win, I'd say...James Durbin. Or Lauren Alaina, who was on my original pick list.

I do hope James wins. I don't think he has the fortitude to withstand the industry though. He's really emotional and fragile. But if he gets a good manager that doesn't totally pimp him out and sell his soul to the highest bidder, then he might make it. He's in a class with Daughtry. Very talented.

Damn Daughtry and those twin babies. We aren't going to get an album out of him for a while I'm guessing.

Well, off to get my feet remodeled for summertime sandals. Time to scrape, shape and slap on fresh paint.

Hola!

xoxo

BACK in USA now

2011-03-29T18:51:00.000-07:00

Sorry, it's been through the entire 2 weeks and kick offs since I last blogged. I have been in Europe and got deathly ill in Czech Republic. Almost defected to Russia. I digress.

Here's some pics though...

PRAGUE

PRAGUE Castle

Bike rental stand in Milan

Lake Geneve...Geneva, Switzerland

Amazing trip....now back to Idol.

So, Steven Tyler and JLo are really awesome. I tell you what I like most...they don't fight and argue amongst themselves like Pauler and Simon did, etc. Randy doesn't do that stupid BOOO BOOO whenever Steven is announced. There is a professionalism and respect that I like.

JLo is the most beautiful. Sometimes it's hard to remember she is also an actress. Talk about some talent. Now why is she married to that Marc Anthony? He's kind of creepy to me...sorry. I'm sure he is the nicest. But I don't get it.

Steven's hair is kind of grimey as long as I am picking on things. Why the feathers on a leather string? Gnarly.

Randy looks happier than ever. He's funny. More lively than the last season.

My final words are: Simon who?

And now let's talk about the Idols. Wow, it's just weird how they go from audition week to the Live stage. And some make the transition and some do not.

and then they waste a save on the guy from The Hangover. Seriously? Really? I mean he's different, but is he YOUR AMERICAN IDOL?? Like Bob Dillon is now an American Idol. Katy Perry or Lady GaGa are American Idols. Jennifer Hudson...Chris Daughtry. Let them go all different on us this year, and you know what you will get??? Taylor Hicks Enough said.

I still loves me some Stefano. But I'm afraid he may fall away.

I do not like Paul "Rod Stewart with Uber white teeth". I hate his girl gravelly voice and his stalker grin. I cannot critique him because I walk out of the room.

I love the 15 year old Alaina. And I like JAMES alot. The country dude, Scotty, definitely has a country career already in the bag. No doubt. So he doesn't need to win.

Jordan is awesome but I can't get past the theatrics some times. I guess if I'm pressed to say...I don't really have a favorite that I am really super behind yet. I just don't. I think there is great talent, but no one I am dropping 65.00 to see in concert. Like I would and did...to see Daughtry, Underwood and Clarkson. I paid to see all of them, and loved every flipping minute of it. And I love the DAvid Cook Idols Tour. These people are goign to have to step it up if they are getting any of my cash.

Really, I'd pay to see Aerosmith before I'd go see any of them, actually.

So, can't wait to see what's up tomorrow nite.

xoxo,

ColeyB

Will you be watching XFactor?

THE GIRLLLLSSS!!

2011-03-04T14:38:00.000-08:00

WOW - zee.

Ok first apologies...I'm in London now and will be delayed in blogging. however, I just stumbled upon a replay of the show on ITV 2 here in London, so I can do a real post with it refreshed in my mind. Now this first girl, is so cute and I love the Rihanna song. But this girl SUX. She is awful. I can't remember if the judges liked it but she is flat, sharp and outta tune. ugh. Besides she has a hyphen in her FIRST name. Really? I

Now, my last post had me predicting my final 3. But I got the brunette girl wrong. There are 3 that looks so much alike. I like the other girl with the long straight black hair, that reminds me of Lea Michelle a bit.

I am going have a strong without a DVR and having to sit through that Rachel chick who has been through 7 times.

Oooh, they have a show called Secret Diaries over here and it's about the diary of a callgirl. It looks good. She is a wealthy call girl. Looks more like Sex in the city, the Pay Per View version.

Meerkovo.com...a commercial using meerkats to promote God only knows what. God these British know how to make flipping hysterical ads.

Hey did y'all here that I am in London and so is JUSTIN BIEBER. I can't wait to find him tomorrow. LOL If I could got to the concert I would. Seriously.

Ok, just occurred to me that I could go online and find out who the Top 12 is on A Idol Site. Lets do that instead of waiting through all of this crapola. So here is the Top 13.

Ok, after all of that, they are now airing the next night show. Jeez.

Well, I gotta watch this now. I think this is going to be a freakin' awesome season. And the cherry on top of it all is that Simon Cowell was on Jay "I'm a two faced loser" Leno last night and he was absolutely smug and not happy about the fact that ratings have not taken a dive since he left! LOL

JLo and STyler = SteLo (like that celeb mashup?) Or SteLoDy. TyLoJack TyLoDy. Pick One. I think I'm stickin' with SteLo and the Dawg with Ryan Seacrest. LLols.

Bye peeps. I'm fixing to go buy a couple of songs on Itunes, new GaGa Born this Way (which is a Madonna mashup if you ask me, but still like it) and I'm going to find that "find it on the radio" song that my favorite Lauren Alaina sang...which I believe is a Wynonna Judd song, or some Country chick. I think Lauren Alaina could replace Miley Cyrus. She is 100% darling for a roll model for little girls.

Hey, anyone seen a Jonas Bros lately? They hate Bieber I bet. HATE him, because they can't even date him like Selena Gomez can to keep her flame burning.

Bye now again. For reals this time.

xoxo

I LOVE THIS SEASON!!!!!!!

2011-03-02T13:05:00.000-08:00

HEY...it's me. Of course I am still watching American Idol. I just haven't been blogging because I just needed to wait and see this Top 12 Guys and Girls.

The Guys blew me a way. But then, me and hubby decided (his idea!) to write down our Top 5 guys to make it to the Top 12 (+plus the judges wildcard). And when forced to actually bet on who would make it through, it was tough. So, here's who I pick:

Karaoke guy (seriously, cannot remember name. Chris? Too lazy to Google)
James Durbin Lambert
Stefano Italian name: Sang Bruno Mars
Guy who channels Luther Vandross, Jacob Lusk

Ok dammit, I gotta GOogle this. Ugh, Carrot Top popped up first. I do not like his voice. Sorry.

Alright its Clint the karaoke guy channeling Harry Potter. He'll get the little dweeb girl's votes. And Casey Abrams. Or Scott McCreery. Not sure. Neither would appeal to them. I think the more Justin Bieberish you can be the better. That's why I voted for Clint. And not crazy white teeth Rod Stewart guy. Who to me looks like Bradley Cooper on meth.

Now do I think a guy will win? Nope. I think there are way better women.

Here's who I'd like (this early in the game,) to be in final 3. Oohhh...last year I bombed at predicting.

As for Steven Tyler, J-Lo and the Dawg. FANTASTIC JOB. I think they are great. They are professional, none of that stupid banter telling Simon he's mean, or Pauler to shut up. It's all good in my book. And Steven Tyler is my favorite. He's so sensitive and yet so stern too. I like him alot. He's a flipping Rock Star. Literally. It just seeps from his pores. Springsteen or Jagger could not hold a candle to him on this show. Tyler should be in the movies.

Ok, so more tonite....but a bit of bad news. I'm about to start traveling for the old job again. Please don't let me get under an ashcloud again. Headed to Europe. Be back in 3 weeks. Will try to blog from hotels.

L8tr Sk8trs

Season 10 begins

2011-01-19T22:28:00.000-08:00

Seriously did you think I wasn't going to watch and blog? I have to use my iPad for something!!!

I loves me some JLo. Steven is fascinating. He's like tv roadkill. You have to look. You just have too. Rachel the one singing halleluya. Note this season I will not be spell checking.

So far I love "f a duck and see what hatches". Ha ha.

So this year I thought we weren't seeing all the crappers. So far not so. Steven Tyler has the best veneers in Hollywood. Seriously. You know his teeth gave out 3 albums into his career. You know so far we have what I am going to call boomerangs. Two got through to Hollywood but they will be coming on back home as soon as they audition.

I can't wait to hear what the sing out song will be this year when peeps get kicked off.

Jersey has a few snookie wannabes. Did you see the chick bust up crying over JLo. The Selena cryer? Then Steven and Randy are making fun. And then the dumbo pops the girls out with stars on them. What a loser. I can just see Jeffro droppin one of those twins rightout of his lap on that one.

R u seeing that nose guy? He can sing. He reminds me of Artie on Glee. Awesome. I'm liking the 3 of them so far. Omg the Boy Scout. When the post office makes the first nerd stamp I have the candidate for them. Whoops too soon. Nerd alert. The burper. Sing Ike and Tina turner. Proud Mary. Omg. Ashley that loves Britney may be crazier than Brit Brit. Yellow teeth and greasy hair. Seriously how do the people see themselves as a star? Omg they are going to put her through. Seriously she is the female steven Tyler and the yo yo dawg has brought my first tears of the season. Ok but now Cosovo kid brings more tears.

Ok so I am falling asleep. This has been fun. Gotta snooze. Xoxo. Hey to nj fan, Jeffro, my seester, chris h., and any return readers! Tinkdr too!

Whew...I'm finally back.

2010-11-15T11:58:00.000-08:00

I guess it's time to confess that I moonlight as a coal miner, and was one of the 33 (+1) trapped in Chile for a while. Yep, I know you never saw me as I ascended, it was part of my covert Black Ops undercover work that I took just a bit too far. What got me to that part of the world you ask? Well, many of you may or may not know, but I take a strong issue with the resemblance between the Texas flag and that of the government of Chile'.

But I'm back now, my press tour with the President of Chile' went well, thank you very much. I will have a lifetime supply of fruit delivered for my efforts in keeping the trapped miners in good spirits. It's amazing how little those guys knew about American Idol. And I'm happy to report that they loved it, staged their own competition and you should be see the new sounds of Juan Carlos Capitan, winner of the Trapped Miner Idol competition, available soon at a Starbucks near you. Early reports compare him to Yanni and Christopher Cross with just a touch of Bon Jovi.

So, how is everyone? I wish I had a dime for every time I've been asked about JLo and STyler joining RJack. (note, if JLo gets letters then everyone gets letters. I'm stopping the DIVA treatment before it gets out of control).

I don't know what I think. But I do know that the funniest joke I have heard thus far came from SNL Weekend Update host Seth Myers who said, "This week AI announced the new judge lineup for next season. JLo and Styler join RJack...otherwise knows as Coffin Nail #1, Coffin Nail #2 and Coffin Nail #3.

LOLOLOL OMg, I can't stop lauffing. I can't even type right, or use correct grrammer.

Bye for now.

PS, if no one commetns that they read this post, there will be no more. You've been warned. I know it's my fault but as I said...trapped in mine, blah blah blah

Idol Aftermath...the celebrity fallout factor

2010-05-28T14:12:00.000-07:00

Crystal and her boyfriend have split. Just hours before the finale.

So she lost the competition and her dude.

Meh! She'll be fine. He was a dudster anyway. Seriously, I was my car in clothes nicer than he wore on TV. I have to give him props for not wanting to just golddig and cash grab. If he's the kid's dad, that's sad.

I bet she ends up with Kate Hudson's ex...Chris whatever his name is. Dreadlock man.

Sorry Crystal. Chin up. There are lots of better days ahead. Call Chris Daughtry and let him 'splain it to you.

xoxo

Geriatric finale...

2010-05-26T22:53:00.001-07:00

OMG,they could have have the Geriatric Music Hall of Fame ceremony immediately after tonites show. Seriously. The first 5 musical acts were all born in the 50's. Alice Cooper, Chicago, The Bee Gees. No offense but when your founding members have died off, you're OLD. Retire already, since your voice obviously has (yes Alice, I'm talking about you. Try as they may, they could not drown you out. Ozzy Osbourne could have carried you AND that tune better. I digress).

Alanis Morissette and Crystal were absolutely the best of the night. I did love Bret Michaels...and not Pants on the Ground...for God's sake.

Every flipping time they brought out another blue hair my husband would say...warm up the paddles...the defibralator heart attack victim paddles you know! haha

When Joe Cocker came out, he yelled, "CLEAR!!!!!!!!"

omg, HE IS YELLING AT THE TV..."That old man didn't even shave. He's got a 2 day shadow going..grey shadow. That's it the last time you'll ever see him on stage again." HA HA. They had to jacked him with 20 :ccs of Adrenaline just to get him dresssed.

LOL

Ok, so just for the record...I say Lee will win, but Crystal will be the bigger record seller.

And, like all the season's that have come before...I win. I picked the winner, again. Ho..humm. Although, I do think I was stumped on the Traylor Hicks season...and we see that I was right on that one, because he went from Hero to Zero before the lights were even cool at the Nokia Theatre. Who won Daughtry's season? And I don't think Daughtry was on the stage tonite either. Kelly did not look too happy, but I imagine they could have sued her ass big time, because you know they locked her in for the reunion show back when she was a nobody and she signed her life away. I love her to death, and I don't know what Idol did to her, but she's cutting her nose off to spite her face (I've never actually typed that, is that the saying???) because if she had sung a new song off the album in the works, she would have gotten so many more record sales. But alas, she is not a sell out like me. I'm pimp my ass OUT. Ok, not really. Well, maybe. How much are we talking anyway? Again, I digress.

Seacrest closes: "We'd like to thank tonite's sponsors Geritol and Depends. And for those times you find yourself with someone special, Viva Viagra."

Yea! Chris! Another season bites the dust. What are we going to talk about over Baked Cheetoes tomorrow? Shall we have a celebratory donut?

Tonite's the final performance

2010-05-25T14:15:00.000-07:00

Well, who do you think it's going to be?

I do think this is a close one. But maintain Lee DeWyze will take the title. I hope Simon claiming he will win, doesn't do him a disservice.

In other news, I am addicted to Justin Bieber and everything Justin Bieber. I have Bieber Fever. Here's what lead up to this addiction:

1. Saw him on Chelsea Handler months ago. He was flirting with her something awful. It was like watching something wrong. A scene out of the best Cougar movie ever. Meow. That little boy is nasty is such a good way.
2. Saturday Night Live - performance. Um...the first time he licked his lips...Meow#2
3. American Idol - Umm. MEOWWWWW! Lee who? Seriously, he is so cute. Ok, I'm knowing this is my inner teenager. I will be buried with my Shawn Cassidy Tiger Beat magazine and will always love me some teen hottie rock stars (though Justin Timberlake or any of those boy bands ever appealed to me. At all. Why is one of those mysteries we will never solve. The only explanation is 'just because'.)

So, I am now the proud owner of both Justin Bieber cd's and am currently trying to talk my friend into taking her daughter to the JB concert in Oakland so I can tag along...pretend I am there for the kid...yawn and act bored when on the inside I am singing ... BABY, BABY...you're my EENIE MEENIE MINEEE MO LOVER. LOL

It might also help you all to know I have the same crush on Harry Connick Jr. and Puck on Glee. I just love musicians and rock stars.

So, hope Lee wins! I WILL be voting tonite!

xoxo

Daughtry and wife to become parents to TWINS!

2010-05-17T15:43:00.000-07:00

Chris and his wife, Deanna Daughtry, are going to be parents again this November. A surrogate mother is hosting their IVF embryos, so the children will share dna with both parents...isn't science amazing and weird?

Very happy for a couple I hope survives the stardom mess. Hope he goes the way of Jon Bon Jovi, not Tommy Lee. LOL

Most awfulest auditionastic horridness I've ever witnessed

2010-05-17T15:00:00.000-07:00

http://perezhilton.com/2010-05-17-the-most-awesomely-bad-audition-ever-thank-you-chris-klein#respond

Click to be sent to the video of awfulness. It's Chris Klein (formerly engaged to Katie Holmes before Tom got ahold of her).

Auditioning for Mamma Mia. Cringeworthy.

Watching the Finale to Survivor...

2010-05-16T21:14:00.000-07:00

You know what, I still loves me some Survivor. Seriously, I love this show and if they are still showing it at my nursing home, I'll grab my cane and wobble my ass down to the tv room to watch it. Imagine Jeff Probst at 65! haha. Dipples and all.

I loved ths Heroes vs. Villains more than anything. LOVE IT. I had hoped Colby could win. It's down to Sandra, Parvati, Jerry and Russell. I honestly can't tell you who is going next. Should be good.

I guess that since there are 2 millionaires up against Russell..who never won...but who actually is a millionaire in real life, I don't care who wins.

Now on American Idol...I'm going to be on the couch voting for Lee (not literally dialing, however. Haven't done that since Carrie Underwood and Daughtry.) By the way, just for grins, if you could turn back time, would you have changed Daughtry's outcome and let him win AI that season, or let the cards roll as they did...where he is the poster boy for 4th place wins big.? Leave me a comment on the blog...love your thoughts.

I don't care who wins. Sadness. I don't totally love anyone, but in order to care I had to throw down the gauntlet down in a meeting with the big wigs and put it out there that Lee Dewyze will win. Crystal will not get the little girl and cougar vote. Seriously. She won't.

I hope it turns out to be a good finale, and I hope they get Harry Connick Jr. to replace Simon. Seriously.

Cole

The Final Four...how I see it going down

2010-05-12T17:45:00.000-07:00

Well, last night had it's ups and downs, or maybe I should say it's Pitchy and Bitchy.

I LOVE Lee DeWyze and I tell you this so you know how painful it is for me to state he f'd up that song. Seriously. I love SEAL and I hope he was somewhere far away not hearing that homicide on air.

Crystal, can you cram any more shit in your hair. Seriously you look like Big Birds Human Cousin. Any more feathers and you'll take flight. So distracting. I admit, the gaps in your teeth are less obvious when I am distracted by your snake-like tresses. Doo-doo rolls is what I really want to call them. Oops I think I just did. :)

Here's how I hope the finished order falls out.

4 - MIchael Lynche (sorry guy, when you don't believe, neither do we. me thinks you want out now because you don't want to win, and have to make the Idol record you don't wanna make, or sing at the superbowl, etc.)
3 - Casey James (tick tock...tick tock...your blonde hair is up. Enjoy your time in Nashville, making a good crossover Rock Country album. Hope Aaron Kelly hasn't already beaten you to Rascal Flatts front door. 'fraid he might have though)

Final Two: Lee wins

Crystal will lose because she didn't garner the Cougar and 14 year old girl vote. Sorry. Lee will get all the Cougars and lots of teen idol girls. Simple as that. His dimples alone are worth 20,000 votes a night.

And I saw someone mention Harry Connick Jr. as Simon's replacement. THAT'S A FACEBOOK fever pitch I would stand behind. I think he was my favorite MENTOR ever. LOVE him. Funnier than Ellen, seriously.

I still like my idea of Russell Brand though.

Ok, well, let's see how it rolls out.

Coleyb

FIND ME ON NEW BLOG...STUCK IN LONDON

2010-04-18T10:31:00.003-07:00

HEY PEEPS!

I'M FREAKING stuck in London. Under the Ash Cloud.

So, I started a blog called "Under the Ash Cloud"

www.undertheashcloud.blogspot.com

Check it out.

Siabhan glasses are HOT

2010-04-01T11:48:00.000-07:00

I told you guys...or was it my imaginary friends? Well, really that's the same isn't it?

Those fried eggs that Siabhan wears are going to be all the rage. I know it.

Well, here's freakin' proof.

DID I CALL IT OR WHAT?

Top 10 Performance Night

2010-03-31T09:55:00.000-07:00

Well, I keep watching the show, waiting for some personality to pop, or some reason to want to go see this ship of fools this summer. Last night, I may have found my reason in Lee DeWyze. I was really impressed by him last night...I found some sexy swagger in that performance. I actually asked my husband to get his haircut? Was that rude? (PS, I hate my husband's haircut, as he has not changed in in 14 years of marriage. He rocks a Wayne Newton sweep back (no Snookie poof, thank God). Enough said.)

If I was looking for a date this weekend, Lee is my 'type' of guy. Baby face but a bit of bad ass in there somewhere. I could help him find it. Wink.

Siabhan is a hot mess with a voice. She's got to tone down the hot mess a bit, and find a genre of songs. She's like a Broadway singer who does the musical HAIR one week, and Phantom of the Opera the next week. All over the place. And those fried egg glasses of hers are annoying as all get out. Imagine Usher's comments after she left the room. "Dude, what is up with the Mr. Magoo glasses? That was just all kinds of wrong." I'm glad he tried to tell her to tone down the wardrobe mess.

Andrew Garcia was awesome as well. I am actually going to crown that the FIRST DOWNLOAD of the season. I LOVED that song and was not aware of Chris Brown's version.

DiDi should go home. Right after Tim Urban. And then, little bit Aaron. Here's the deal. you have to look at this from a demographic pov.

Divide up the voters: Little geek girls and the Cougars. That's your voting community. And if you think I'm wrong, go to a Idols on Tour concert this summer and do a profile. I'm not saying boys and men don't watch the show, I'm just saying they don't vote. So, eventually, the gg's (geek girls) votes are going to split up Tim and Aaron. And I'm sure a few Lee Press-on nails were lost in the dialing battle last night for Mr. DeWyze.

Michael is getting the crooner vote. Siabhan and Katie will eventually cancel each other out. It's just too early to call on this one. If you close our eyes, they are very similar in vocals. Both could have huge careers on The Love Boat.

I can't predict who is going to win, but if it comes down to who I most want to see each week, it's Lee, Casey and Crystal. Can't wait to see Usher perform tonite.

ColeyB

Last Night's Show

2010-03-24T12:52:00.000-07:00

First...why did they Sanjaya Siabhan? Tha flipping HAIRSTYLE?

Second...why doesn't someone "ACCIDENTALLY"...on purpose crush those hideous glasses that she clearly bought at a Goodwill store?

Third...why am I still watching this show?

BOring.

Ok, so there are some good peeps, but ain't a one of them getting a dollar of my money for the showcase showdown this summer.

Going home tonite,,

Paige

Top 12 didn't suck

2010-03-16T21:37:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm not a huge fan of the Stones so I had low expectations. they really rocked it out.

For me...this is the year where the face doesn't match the voice. The personality doesn't match the voice. Nothing about these people matches the voice.

That little Aaron Kelly singing Angie? What? Dawg?

Lee DeWyze or whatever. He's like a doughboy, but when he opens his mouth suddenly he's Adam Duritz from Counting Crows or Dave Mathews. Katie Stevens is a little Barbra Streisand to me. And that red head reminds me of Pat Benatar a bit...I know I am dating myself.

Randy, there is no Justin Timberlake this season, nor has there ever been. And he sux anyway.

Siabhan madness. For me, I hope it comes down to a 3 way shoot out with Lee, Siabhan and Crystal. Maybe Big Mike too. The rest are good but I won't go to their concerts.

Other random thougths:

Kara's clothes are uglier by the minute. She's starting to dress like Pauler.
Randy, try not phoning it in so much.
Ellen, starting to find her voice. Nice hair. Pretty eyes.
Simon...oh, he's there? It's an imposter. He's too nice.

Seacrest. He's the best. 100% solid every year and I loved his getting in Cowell's face tonite. Didn't quite seem staged, though I'm sure it was.

Jeffro, since you told me you are having twins, I no longer find it fun to flirt with you, so thanks for letting your power s_ _ _ m get in the way of the fun I had in this blog. I am officially killing my plans to stalk you in 2012 when you would have least expected it. Anyone want to buy a round trip to Indiana?

Please can some new guy step up and flirt with me now? Kidding.
And Jeffro, don't pretend to be someone else because I'll see right through it.

Looking forward to what you guys think about tonite.

Ladie's Night

2010-03-10T10:09:00.000-08:00

Please help me invent a name for crappy performances that are worse than Karaoke in Japantown? Crappy-oke. Too obvious. Pokey-oke...I want to stick sharp objects into my ears? Last night the song choices made me feel like I was at a Wake for the passing of a famed karaoke artist. If there is such a thing. Ugh. Boring, sigh, bleh, ugh....mashpotatoes. bland. yeesh. (note my struggle not to cuss. It's against the law this week in California. Expletives return next week.)

Peeps, I must admit, this may be the last year for Idol. Unless they bring in a new set of judges next year when Simon is gone. I'm talking CLEAN SWEEP. Randy (dawg, for me, for you, I'm done) Jackson, Kara (goony goon goon) and Ellen...well, bloom is falling off that rose. And Simon has just checked out. OUT. Like he's picking lint from his belly button instead of paying attention. I'm starting to think the only thing that kept him awake in the past was worrying about Pauler starting to drool, or doing a faceplant into her drool.

So, Crystal Bowersox seems to have a lock on it, if peeps can get past the dreads and her hair. You know what dreads I'm talking about...those chompers that are the color of corn, complete with the missing vampire fangs, as my husband says. We don't mean to be unkind but simply point this out to the younger generation who are dissing the dentist and opting for the crack pipe and meth labs instead. I'm not calling her Crystal Meth or anything. Tetracycline can do that to you as well. But people, it's called Brite Smile. Look into it.

DiDi was good. Siabhan was crazy weird as usual. She looked dressed like a freaking Washington DC intern. Business, but only 1/2 way, with plenty of leg exposed for 'after hours'. Weirdness.

Hey Siobhan, Crystal Gayle called and she wants her flowers back. Really, it's sSOOO not even interesting. If you want to make a statement, utilize vintage brooches with rhinestones...hell, a cool spider web of diamonds would be fun. Flowers are lame.

I dread man night (no pun intended Crystal). I can't even tell you a guys name except hottie Casey who is this years Jason Castro. Maybe a little smarter. I have to admit, I only watch the performances this year, and none of the critiques past the first sentence they say. After that...blip blip blip.

I will hang in there peeps. I promise. i know it starts to ramp up after Top 10. Thursday nite, say goodbye to Lacey Brown and Paige whatever.

Dear Jeffro and NJ Fan...and others

2010-03-06T20:13:00.000-08:00

Actually, it's weird. I am watching the blog for your comments...when it occurred to me that I'M SUPPOSED to write things, for you to comment on... I was really getting pissed that I hadn't heard from you guys.

Ok, so first. Jeffro, you hurt my feelings by kicking dirt in my face when Jannell got booted. I was sad. And now, it looks like DiDi is next. So yes, I am losing my touch dammit.

And, by the way, I have accidentally hurt my arm and am not supposed to type. I seriously have been going to rehab because I have somehow (knitting) gotten Tennis elbow. I have been told not to type or knit or grip anything for 2 months and must wear a brace and ice it 2 times a day.

If I hadn't given up cussing, the 4 letters words would fly right now. I'm sorry, but I am really depressed. I didn't even watch Idol this week. Yes, THAT depressed. I didn't even turn on the tv. I cry myself to sleep and am inconsolable.

Please send chocolate. And post some fun comments for me! I'll drag them to the top!

New Season...the girls....

2010-02-23T20:57:00.000-08:00

Well, i finally got the laptop running...and they are 4 girls into the show. There are some good chicks this year. I like that Jill with the platinum hair. ARod was pretty good in second slot. I did not like the first girl Paige.

Here Hailey Vaughn, and I'm sorry but her mouth could swallow the state of Texas. OMG she is bigger than life. I'm sorry but I think she is what I like to call polarizing. You love her or she's like fingernails on a chalkboard. OMG, I know she is going to be praised and I'm scared that I am going to have to watch her for 12 weeks.

Isn't Kara pretty this year? I do think she is so pretty. Ellen is looking dapper. Simon and Randy...well, they never change do they. Or get better for that matter.

What the hell judges? I think they are being too hard on them tonite.

Ok, just for the record...Didi is really my favorite. I do love Jannell too, but it was the Kara song girl I liked the most. OK SHE BUSTED IT OUT. SIMON, YOU SUCK. I thought she was great and so did my husband. Seriously. She sang it just like Ingrid does...it's a hit on the radio for God's sake.

Alanis Morrissette chick is absolutely the awesome-est of the night. I hate dreadlocks...it just seems like it's itchy. She need's her teeth whitened. Simon, you fucking suck. I hate you, you're so mean. Hey, she talked back to him, good for her. Oh, and then he says "you're refreshing". Ok, Kara, she's actually being good with advice this year. She could be right about the coffee shop performer. Crystal has Shania Twain and Melissa Etheridge's autograph. How cool is that.

Katie Stevens is last. I bet she is good. Ok, so they slammed her too.

Alright I still think this was the best night of woman ever. Sincerely. I really do. Nice voices. They need to lose the nerves.

Boys better bring it.

And our next American Idol is....

2010-02-10T23:04:00.000-08:00

Jannell Wheeler. She is the Colbie Caillet sound-alike. And the ponytail guy they made take his shirt off, will be right there with her. I love those two. And that cute little dark-haired Katie Thomas. Those 3 are my early predictions to be in the finals. Jannell may go out in the 4 slot like Daughtry because she will be such a front runner.

Those are my guesses for tonite.

I love Ellen. She's awesome.

Coley

OMG...one of you butt dialed my phone

2010-02-10T16:10:00.000-08:00

Jeffro!!!!!!!!! You butt dialed me!!!!

I can't believe I still have your ph # from over 2 years ago in my phone...and clearly you still have mine in yours or else you couldn't have butt dialed me. I called the number from the missed call, because I didn't recognize it. And then your name popped up as missed call. HA.

You were in the car with your wifey I believe trying to decide where to go to dinner...6:04pm Weds. nite.

Gotcha!

Bazingah!

LMAO.

Or...are you stalking me again?

Carrie and Daughtry

2010-02-08T17:23:00.000-08:00

Carrie rocked that anthem...until the last note. Ooohhh. yikers.

Here's some pics from the CAA Agency SB Party. Now, I'm not one to start rumors, but look at David Spade's shirt, and then look at a pic of Carrie earlier. Are they wearing the same shirt? Mmmmmm?

Oh, SNAP!!!! Scott Brown's daughter was an Idol in Season 5

2010-02-02T10:09:00.000-08:00

Remember the high school basketball player Idol finalist? She was talk and lanky and pretty, and could sing aiiright too. And her dad was a politician? Well, Ayla Brown is the college student daughter of the newly elected to Ted Kennedy's old seat, Scott Brown. Small world isn't it?

Here's an excerpt of the USA today article:
-------

If Ayla Brown keeps a to-do list, this week's might look something like this:

-- Sort through date offers after dad told a national television audience I was "available."

-- Release album.

-- Beat Clemson.

The American Idol Season 5 semifinalist is back in the spotlight, thanks to father Scott Brown's election to the Massachusetts U.S. Senate seat vacated by Teddy Kennedy's death -- a victory that will end the Democratic supermajority in the Senate.

But Ayla had plenty going on already. The 6'0" Boston College senior plays guard for the women's basketball team (the Lady Eagles are currently 11-9). She has a new 5-song EP, Circles, available digitally today.

Ayla initially had planned to release Circles in the spring, after the end of basketball season. But when her father emerged as a star on the national political scene, Ayla's label, Double Deal Records, suddenly decided to release the EP sooner, in order to capitalize on the family's sudden notoriety.

"The record company came to me Wednesday and said, 'We're going to put out this album, because of all the excitement that's happening,'" says the Massachusetts native. "I was like, 'I thought we were going to wait till April!'"

Circles contains five songs -- a cover of Vanessa Amorosi's 1999 European hit Absolutely Everybody; one called Pick It Up, co-written by fellow Season 5 contestant Will Makar; and three that Ayla co-wrote, including No More, which she performed today on the CBS Early Show.

Gleeeeeee!!!!!!!

2010-01-31T09:18:00.000-08:00

I have succumbed to the Glee Vortex of hysteria.

If you don't watch it, you're really missing something. I watched 2 episodes at the beginning and couldn't get past the fact that it felt like FAME, which I absolutely despise, for no apparent reason. I also hated Flashdance and Footloose. So why do I love this show?

Well, probably my irrational need to root for the underdog. I have never rooted for a team that is predicted to win. I also go for the contestant that has heart.

Oddly enough, this show has alot of real substance, and much of the drama involves the adult relationships as well. But I see glimpses of Arrested Development and other quirky kind of things that make me laugh...like the principal...Figgins...who is of Indian decent, and I love to hear him say "Sue! your monkeyshines have to stop".

And there is real drama and anger and tears. It's all there PEOPLE. There's a reason they won a Golden Globe. So get it on your Netflix cue or buy the dvd that is just out.

You can watch the last 4-5 episodes for free on Hulu TV right now too, which is what I did, to catch up. I do think I am going to buy the dvd though. The outtakes are supposed to be good.

xoxo,

ColeyB

Please get to Hollywood Week

2010-01-28T10:33:00.001-08:00

UGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

I cannot even bare to blog about the dismal showing this week on American Idol. And the winner of the "Worst Guest Judge" Award goes to Joe Jonas. OMG, he's not even worthy of being called a judge. It's like he had an electronic prod attached to his ankle and they had to shock him to grunt out "Yeah". LAME. I swear mold on cheese has been more interesting to me that that waste of space, JJ. He's cute, but dumb as a box of rocks. Seriously.

So, sweaty guy is really all I remember of the week, besides Barney girl. Which is why AI puts the weirdo and unusual on..because America (and obviously me) love a train wreck.

Biggest Dick of a Judge Award goes to: Doogie Howser
Biggest Exploitation of Boobs: Katy Perry
Biggest "Thinks her books should allow her to be a bitch" Award goes to: Katy Perry
Biggest "I can't wait until we all say "Who" Award goes to: Katy Perry

I like her music. I don't appreciate her attitude. Do you think it was staged? Why is Kara suddenly turning into Paula. Can't that damn show appreciate a woman that is smart and not have to dumb her down and make her seem sexy = stupid? God, it's like seeing a sexual harassment "Don't" video each week.

I loved Mary J. Blige when she would crack up accidentally at the contestants. hee hee
Shania Twain was just keeping it real.
Avril Lavigne was not even worth reviewing. Go on back to your little divorced life with your kitty cat hoodie and grow the fuck up.
I can't remember any of the other judges, so I will close with just one thing:

Where the FUCK is Ellen? Come ON!~

Idol Tonite

2010-01-20T22:59:00.001-08:00

Hey,

I have to admit, I lost my debit card tonite, and I was frantically trying to get Bankrupt of America on the phone to cancel it tonite.

So, I admit that I was a bit distracted. I kind of think it's the best way though because I could hear good voices without looking at the people's faces

Simon was so cute tonite, I have to admit. I like him, and I'll miss him. Seriously.

Well, I continue to think that this is going to be a really really talented season. Some really cute little girls. No hottie boys yet, but I DO LOVE ME SOME Cowboy Matthew. The 15 year old bank robber. What a voice. I think he's awesome. I hope he gets some good Garth Brooks songs, or some other good stuff for his voice.

They didn't put through many rats or faces with no voices this season so far. Those goofy sisters from Jersey were a hoot. What is it with the freakin' Jersey peeps and Vampires right now? If it ain't Jersey girls showing their cooch for all the world, it's Vampires sucking the blood out of everyone.

Hollywood week can't come soon enough.

Shania Twain on Idol

2010-01-20T13:34:00.000-08:00

I love her. She is awesome. But is it just me? There were too many Paula look alikes on that show last night.

I love the girl that is propping her just dumped mom up. She's darling. She could be a Carrie Underwood. I think we have seen some pretty good people this season. And they seem to not be giving the ticket to bad peeps.

Oops, gotta go.

Here we go peeps

2010-01-12T18:34:00.000-08:00

I was hoping they would start the show off with someone awesome. Instead we start with jiggly belly fat chick that is awful. Seriously. Natasha Beddingfield is vomiting somewhere right now.

Did I just see butt crack?

Well, we all know that this shit isn't going to be great. This is just the way it goes, so buckle your seatbelts. Oh-kay, I get it why she is on ... she keeps bringing up Paula.

Next up is Maddie Lewis, the girl with the Down's siblings. Well, sadly Hollywood is going to get to ruin a very sweet girl. Let's hope she gets the Carrie Underwood track.

OMG the big bug-eyed glasses dude. Ok, the skinny "can I get a holla" was singing Womanizer for 3 minutes before I recognized the song. Sassy Simon. Ok, he is a freak. Randy, Dude, great hang...but stop singing forever. Kara has to cop a feel of the weirdo. It will take her months to get that funk off him.

Are they stacking the deck this early for a woman winner? Woman seem to be more successful as winners. Carrie, Kelly, and Chris Daughtry are really all that have made a mark. Jordan Sparks did have that Chris Brown duet "No Air" that was awesome.
Just to remind you all. Kris Allen. Who? Ugh.

Let's dish on the judges a bit. Hey, looks like Randy got that lapband tighted up a bit...he's skinny again. Victoria Beckham is a skeletor. Seriously, the makeup is what is keeping her eyeballs in the socket. That's black grout around her eyes...holding those bug eyes in place. Simone's Hanes Beefy-T looks a little thinner this year, due to the frequent nipple poke-age.

Well, big Italian dude goes through. You know when they go to people's homes they make it through. ha ha. Free ticket to Hollywood, and home again soon Momma. What a bunch of Guido's.

Derek the spiritual needs to work on ...well I can't say it. You can see it yourself. He graditated (not a word). Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word. I like that song by Elton. OMG, OMG...I've never seen anyone that can control singing through their nose so well. OH LORD, that was great...because you know, he thinks he's good. Tivo blip

Now let's talk about these contestants. I swear to God, I dress better to go to the mall than audition on National TV. Are all the mirrors broken in Boston? Some of these chicks don't own a hairbrush or tweezers.

Ooohhhh Showdown in Beantown...Kara versus dweeb Johnny Depp wannabe. .. after the break. What a loser. He had a decent enough voice to get to Hollywood.

Ok, due to battery and internet situation conditions, I am having to cut this one short.

More tonite.

ColeyB

SIMON'S LAST SEASON......

2010-01-11T14:14:00.000-08:00

Yes, I did just get a CNN News Alert on my Blackberry that Simon Cowell has announced this to be his last season.

Seriously? A CNN BREAKING NEWS alert...the kind you get when a Sunami hits or a plane crashes or another Tiger Woods girlfriend surfaces. REAL news. Not Simon Cowell's future. Who cares? He could use $100 bills as Kleenex for the rest of his life and still never run out of money.

So, first thought in my head...
Publicity stunt. new season starting. Duh. He didn't just roll out of bed and look in the mirror and go, "I quit".

2nd thought
Much like a Lame Duck politician, not up for re-election, he will be a force to be reckoned with...not caring about his future on the show because he's out. As if he ever bit his tongue in the first place.

3rd thought:

Fuck. I like Simon. I really do. Because he's such a character. They better find someone good to complete the trio. That's all I'm saying. Because if I have to rely on DAWG Randy and his 'you da bomb' catch phrases alone, I may have to lose it. Mmmm...who would I like to replace him. I'll tell you who. RUSSELL BRAND He's so nasty, it's sexy

4th thought:

Mmmm Russell Brand. He's tapping "I kissed a girl and I liked it" Katy Perry. They're engaged. Whatevs. All the more reason for him to leap across the pond and live in LaLa Land and do the Idol show. Puh-lease don't get someone like Michael Buble...or Hugh Grant. Boring.....

I am so excited about tomorrow night. I need to go research but I don't think Ellen makes the original auditions. Dammit.

xoxo,

ColeyB

HAPPY NEW AMERICAN IDOL YEAR!!!

2010-01-10T09:05:00.000-08:00

I'M BAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!

I will be blogging again, as per usual snarkiness, as the new season begins this week. I'm super ecstatic about Ellen DeGeneres, so no haters please. I am definitely Team Ellen, while I will miss Pauler. (for those who don't get that joke, I would always type Pauler, because that's what it sounds like when Simon would say her name)

Speaking of Simon...I hear that the sweatshops in lands far away have been working their tiny 14 year old fingers to the bone polishing cotton tshirts for him in the new season. I don't look for any wardrobe changes there.

xoxo,

More later.

Adam Lambert's New Video

2009-10-26T15:48:00.000-07:00

Time For Miracles

Adam Lambert | MySpace Video

It's awriight...but not good enough for me to purchase on Itunes. I believe this is soundtrack for movie 2012. Whatevs.

In other disappointing news, I listened to the 2 new Carrie Underwood singles on Itunes. Yawn. Nope, not buying it. Even if she is drop dead gorgeous on the album cover. I thought she could never look prettier and then there you go!

I close with my most shocking news...I like the Kris Allen song. It's totally not what I expected. Seriously, check it out.

Did you hear Jordin Sparks got a guest star gig on Disney's The Suite Life on Deck tv show? Some Disney kids stuff.

J-Hud had her baby boy and got 2 Soul Train nominations.

Kelly Pickler dyed her hair red. The carpet no longer matches the drapes. Sorry, but I freakin' cannot stop laughing when I hear naughty boys say that. hee hee

Little Archuleta has a Christmas From the Heart album coming out. Now, I have a real penchant for Christmas music and I love his voice, so as long as it isn't Jingle Bells, I'll probably buy it.

And Daughtry and Kelly Clarkson continue to be superstars...both with successful second singles from their latest releases.

xoxo,

Coley

Paranormal Activity

2009-10-06T20:54:00.000-07:00

do a Google search and watch the trailer.

Is it scary to you?

Is it in your town?

Go watch it and tell us all about it.

Shivers.

Cole

David Letterman Confession

2009-10-02T10:06:00.001-07:00

Every scandalous creepy politician should be forced to watch this video at their inauguration.

He took a very bad situation, admitted to it, injected humor, and left the audience with "meh, much ado about nothin'". WOW!

Seriously, I can't believe how elequently he handled this. FACE on, BALLS OUT, Dead on looking at the camera. Seriously, can you imagine if Clinton had just been honest? Or John Edwards? Or the mysterious hiker Governor? Or the New York City gay politician with a wife and kids...OK I have to stop there because I need to do something else today and I think there are limits to the length of a blog...

Could this be a new trend toward honesty? I hope he does not become vilified in the press, offering encouragement for future ethics violators to feel good for owning up to their mistakes. Or hey, here's an idea...do you think these men that can't keep Little Johnny in their pants would start to figure out that Little Johnny escapades eventually make it to YouTube? Seriously.

While I don't condone David Letterman having extra-relationship affairs (because he was not married when this happened, but had been with his partner for 20+ years), I do believe it was consensual, it's not illegal, and it's none of the public's business.

Should he have had the affairs? Well, yes, if he didn't care about the outcome of getting caught, if he felt the embarrassment would be less painful than foregoing a relationship he felt was important. No matter how skewed we view his thinking, this is a morale misstep in the eyes of the majority of Americans eyes, not an illegal one. (It remains to be seen if he gets in trouble for sleeping with staffers for which he had direct control of their careers, which is in fact illegal if the staffer takes him up on sexual harassment charges, which they obviously did not, so he probably didn't. How's that for a run-on sentence?)

So, seriously, this is what fascinates me most about celebrities. No one acts out human drama better than celebs. It's always a great study of human nature. Usually, you can't make shit up as good as what they come up with in real life. Do you agree?

I leave you with these questions to ponder over your lunchtime Dr. Pepper, tuna sandwich and bag 'o Fritos...(one of my favorite combos, and I'll tell you why...the Dr.P is sweet, counteracting the salt of the Fritos. The Fritos are crunchy, counteracting the soggy tuna on bread, and the Tuna? What does it counteract? Having to eat another fucking Turkey sandwich. Back to our regularly scheduled programming....)

Do you think CBS should give David some sort of penalty? A celebrity time-out? Make him interview D listers for a month?

Do you think this should just fade away...

Are you interested in the outcome of the skizzball that was the blackmailer? He's a producer on 48 hours and has been suspended. This was no joke.

For those of you who don't know, he had a relationship with one of Dave's exes, who confided her past, and he decided to use the info...after his girlfriend dumped him, to get out of debt.

According to my morning talkshow radio hosts, Sarah and Vinnie FM 97.5, he could be facing up to 15 years in prison.

Well, this has been a fun Friday, that's for sure.

Book your tickets now for Rio...they won the Olympics in 2016. won't really matter because according to the Mayan calendar, it's all over for us Earthlings in 2012. Run those credit cards up NOW!

Coley

Hello...it's almost too hot to blog

2009-09-27T22:43:00.001-07:00

Ok, what the f? I left this heat and humidity behind in Texas I thought. It seems God is playing a weather trick on me and giving me 104 degree temps on Saturday. I got my wig dusted and busted (haircut) on Saturday, and I looked at her like she was nuts when she lifted the blowdryer. It's 104 outside, we are not blowing my hair dry. Seriously.

I went home to watch all my TIVOs for the week. And here's what I think...

The Good Wife - great show. Do not miss it.
Modern Family - Funny, hope it grows on me
Community - Love Joel McHale and Chevy Chase, but the pace of the show is seriously show...and off. I feel like Chevy is trying too hard to be Michael Scott.

Despite a major protest during TV negotiations, my husband prevailed and Grey's Anatomy stayed on the TIVO list. It was a good 2 hour premiere, I admit, but .... yawn. It's hard to look at Katherine Heigl and not see her as a whiny-ass movie star now.

Curb Your Enthusiasm..awesome as always, Entourage...of course excellent.

Bored to Death: new HBO with Jason Schwartzman Awesomeness. think Big Lebowski meets Columbo. I think.

Why is Khloe Kardashian getting married, and why do I care?

Did I tell you my new cellphone ring tone is the Theme to American Idol. Ha ha. People laugh when it comes on. My hubby screams..."Idol...your phone is ringing. It's Paula!" LOL

I didn't watch Amazing Race yet or Madman from tonite. I will tell you that this is the BEST Survivor ever, already. There is a 'mean ass' guy who got up in the middle of the night and poured out all the canteens of water, after he drank tons of it himself, and then he through a few random socks in the fire, just to be mean. He's a multi-millionaire oilman from Houston and does not even need the money. He's doing it to prove how easy it is to win the show. Drama-A-Rama Llama.

Can one of you genius's please tell me why I keep getting emails that "so and so" is following you on Twitter. Don't you have to approve people to follow you? Like Facebook friends. Seriously, there are like 20 strangers following me. I don't and haven't Tweeted in like months. If I want to talk, it ain't gonna be squeezed into 140 characters or less. I can't even get my point across is less than 500 characters I'm thinking.

Good night.

Kelly Clarkson Sings on YouTube

2009-09-19T22:37:00.000-07:00

Hey, wanna watch a video of Kelly Clarkson singing "The Climb" (Miley Cyrus's current hit) with her 2 backup singers.

What would we do without YouTube?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCdpSZmXB5o&feature=player_embedded

What's on my TIVO for new Fall TV?

2009-09-16T11:46:00.000-07:00

My new favorite show is guaranteed to be "COMMUNITY". Starring Joel McHale from The Soup, and has Chevy Chase. enough said. Here'a preview clip. WArning, it gives alot of the first show funnies up...I hate that but it was so funny I couldn't stop watching.

http://www.eonline.com/videos/v22050957001_Fall_Preview_Community.html

In the drama category, I am adding THE GOOD WIFE to Must See ColeyTV(tm) . I loves me some Chris Noth and Julianna Marguiles was the only thing besides Clooney that kept me watching ER. Glad to see you back, girlfriend.

Of course, I'll be watching flipping all the REality shows because I wasn't able to make it to TV Rehab this summer so, my addiction continues...Survivor, Amazing Race...both on the docket. I think this might be my last season of Grey's Anatomy. We know too much about their personal lives now and they don't seem like characters anymore. Katherine Heigl is a movie star...as is Patrick Dempsey...and I don't know.

Ugly Betty ...well, the cheese has fallen off that cracker. I'm sort of done with that. But, no doubt I'll watch it...addiction, see paragraph above.

Ok, that's my early warning. Oh and don't watch Melrose Place. As if.

Ok, My view on Kanye

2009-09-14T12:49:00.000-07:00

First, that drunk tool is getting more media attention than he deserves and this is what he wanted anyway. He likes being outrageous and so we reward him by talking about it. It's like reporting on the people that jump from the Golden Gate Bridge...they don't. Because they don't want to make it look cool and bring it to the public, thus encouraging other people to seek the notoriety.

And Kanye seeks negative notoriety, because he's a fame whore. It's like bad kids. Any attention, even if parents are beating them, is still attention.

Honestly, I don't know why they are so shocked at this behavior. And MTV deserves exactly what they got by not denying him access to the show after his last stunts. MTV is partially to blame. I would respect them so much if he got a 5 year ban, just like people caught doing drugs do in the sport world. And hello??? Did they not see him drinking directly from a Hennessy bottle on the red carpet and in the audience. What message does that send to the MTV target audience? Who by the way are not of drinking age yet...some of them.

Kelly Clarkson had the best blog of all...this is from the website The Superficial, where the guy who writes if funny as fuck.
------------
Kelly Clarkson hopped on her blog to tell Kanye West about himself:

Dear Kanye,
What happened to you as a child?? Did you not get hugged enough?? Something must have happened to make you this way and I think we're all just curious as to what would make a grown man go on national television and make a talented artist, let alone teenager, feel like shit. I mean, I've seen you do some pretty shitty things, but you just keep amazing me with your tactless, asshole ways. It's absolutely fascinating how much I don't like you. I like everyone. I even like my asshole ex that cheated on me over you...which is pretty odd since I don't even personally know you. The best part of this evening is that you weren't even up for THIS award and yet you still have a problem with the outcome. Is winning a moon man that much of a life goal?? You can have mine if it will shut you up. Is it that important, really??
I was actually nominated in the same category that Taylor won and I was excited for her...so why can't you be?? I'm not even mad at you for being an asshole...I just pity you because you're a sad human being.
On a side note, Beyonce has always been a class act and proved again tonight that she still is. Go TEXAS!!
Taylor Swift, you outsell him ....that's why he's bitter. You know I love your work! Keep it up girl! KC :)
----------------

Because writing full paragraphs is hard, other celebs took to their Twitters to bash Kanye:
-----------
"Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me." - Pink

"FUCK U KANYE. IT'S LIKE U STEPPED 0N A KITTEN." - Katy Perry

"I'm gonna say this, we should always have respect for each other! End of discussion" - Diddy

"congrats @taylorswift13 on your vma!!! you deserve it more than anyone!! I saw the devil in action when kanye west stole your mic! u rock!!!" - Heidi Montag

-------------

Kanye only continued to be the egotistical tool he has always been, and for everyone to be surprised, surprises me! Ban him and keep him off air, and watch what happens...and then forgive him, because he has some talent but needs to learn a harsh lesson...like Michael Vick.

Ok Jeffro...thanks for asking for my opinion.

Now let's hear what everyone else thinks about Taylor being a cross-over artist now. Wow! BY the way she is the first female to be nominated for Entertainer of the Year by the CMA in 9 years...Faith HIll was the last. I bet she wins. Watch it!

Personally, I think Taylor is rocketed by her songs. She can write some fucking good lyrics. But her voice is nothing compared to the other woman in her league...Pink, Kelly Clarkson, Beyonce'. Even Lady Blah Blah.

BYe now.

From Justin to Kelly

2009-09-12T21:01:00.001-07:00

OMG, I'm watching that lame ass movie that Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini made. I'm sorry but nothing else is on...And Kelly Clarkson 8 years ago is amazing. OMG, she was a NOBODY. She has horrible hair highlights that look like worms.

It's a 19 Enterntainment produced movie. Remember that crappy movie that they hooked her into making? I hope she made a s-load of cash. I think this is supposed to be like Frankie Vallie /Annette Funicello Beach Blanket Bingo kind of thing right?

Oh crap, Justin is on the screen now. Ok, I'm 3 minutes into this. Seriously, I think it's time to mute. It's hard to think Justin is a play-ah. He's gay. Seriously.

Ok, Kelly's chubby butt is on the sands of Miami beach and she's wearing green combat shorts. Oh lord it's a freaking musical. OMG. It's High School Musical on sand. Switching channels now!

Sorry I subjected you to this horrible experience. I hope I can sleep tonite.

ELLEN ON IDOL!!!!!!!!!!

2009-09-10T09:53:00.000-07:00

OMG. If you could hear me now, I'm telling you I am giddy and almost speechless. Thank you everyone that gave the me head's up because the lame ass radio show I listen to in the am must have talked all about it before I got in the car.

People, can you imagine how hysterical she is going to be? CAn't you see her making faces at Simon. Or trying to slip the tongue to Kara? I bet they split the girls up because Ellen will be flirting too much with KD.

Ellen will cry alot too. I love her. LOVE her. I mean seriously, she's my all-time "if I was Lesbian for a day" crush. She's so funny. You know funny is an aphrodisiac to me. I can't believe spell check didn't highlight that word. Did I spell it correctly? I almost shouted over the cube wall...how do you spell aphrodisiac but stopped myself. Can you imagine?

Well, what to do, what to do. I wish I could slip into a four month coma so I wouldn't have to endure the wait. I'd wake up just before my birthday on Dec. 5....sleep again until Jesus' bday, and then awake for the Idol Premiere. Notice I chose to sleep through the New Year's eve celebration. Does that give you a hint as to how boring I am? I don't think I have ever been to a NYE party in my life.

Later...I hear my boss coming.

Helloooooo! It's Me! Yes, it's really me.

2009-09-09T16:42:00.000-07:00

Ok, I'm so embarrassed. I logged on for the first time today...it's been exactly 1 month since I last posted. My self-imposed blog rehab is complete. What did I learn in rehab.

Well, I learned that there is life outside the blog. I found that when crazy quirky shit happened to me, I simply did not need to share it with the world...and it would be ok.

I learned that people missed me.

I learned that I missed you too.

And so, with 30 days behind me, I logged on, only to find that people kept coming to the blog. I was clued in when I got an random alert that 'so-and-so' was now "following me on Twitter". WTF? Twitter? Where am I going on Twitter? I vaguely remember getting a Twitter account but seriously, between that and Facebook and this blog and my knitting store and my knitting website and my fall knitting class schedule, I'm on fucking OVERLOAD.

I'm rockin' it old school now. I bought a spiral bound notebook for my purse. The old school Palm Pilot. Good old paper and pen and no fucking batteries or chargers. My Blackberry has failed me so many times lately. I keep missing meetings because they 'fell off my calendar' according to IT. I looked at the bottom of my purse and I see no letters spilled down there, so PLEASE explain to me how I missed my 10:30 am meeting dammit.

So 8 people logged on today and I've had 150 visits this week. Who the hell is reading this blog and why? I'm thrilled but seriously, I thought there were like 17 of you out there. Tink is the only one that writes me. Jeffro has left the planet.

So, I survived the Bay Bridge Shutdown 2009, got the t-shirt and came out unscathed. How about y'all?

My yarn store is good. Pretty funny actually. The people range from crazy to super-crazy and a lot in between there.

What is everyone going to watch in the new fall season? You know the filler time between summer and American Idol? LOL

Community with Joel McHale and Chevy Chase is all I can see that is interesting so far. Maybe the show the the dad from Married with Children.

So, I'll try to write more often. And thanks for coming to visit my blog. I still loves you lotsie.

xoxo.

Julie & Julia - What an awesome movie!

2009-08-09T19:05:00.000-07:00

Oh, how could I have abandoned my blog, after seeing this movie? My "fans" have been commenting, but I have abandoned you, I admit it, for my Yarn shop.

Well, I'm sorry.

And let me just tell you, I cried buckets of tears in that movie, because of things that happened that parallel my life...on a tiny scale of course.

Please go see the movie so I can write more without breaking your experience.

You have 2 weeks to go see it. You won't regret it. Awesome movie, and really not what you think it's going to be.

xoxo

Pauler's Out...

2009-08-05T16:02:00.000-07:00

So, what do I think about this late-breaking news.

Well, seriously, I got really tired of her hitting Simon and using all of the contestants valuable feedback time cavorting with Cowell. It almost got to be like "how much time can I force the tv camera to stay focused on me?"

I would criticize her for losing focus on what she claims she was there for...to nurture and support young talent that was suddenly being thrust into the spotlight. It became more about her and her Cowell antics, and less about helping them understand how to be better in their next performance. I think she became more interested in the revitalization of her own career and less about helping to launch new ones.

Dummy.

Am I thrilled we have just Kara DeGuardi? Not really. But what I want more is for Randy Jackson to step up to the plate. Get down brotha'! Bring it! You were once a groovin' dude and now I barely recall a thing you said. "We got a hot one tonite" was like 2 seasons back right?

Will I still watch the show. Yes, of course. I mean I want to die being able to recite all the idols in order, right? LOL

Hope you're having a happy summer!

coleyb

Definition of Funny: One example

2009-07-29T14:02:00.000-07:00

Ok, I admit when people send me stuff they consider "funny", I often do not. Because I am funny myself, and have quite a high tolerance for funny.

With that being said, I would implore you to watch this video for what I consider some 100% Grade A Quality Funny Ass shiznitz.

Enjoy!!! I have to go chance my underpants.

Kelly's newest controversy with record execs

2009-07-28T14:58:00.000-07:00

http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/realityrocks/249158/kelly-clarksons-new-single-controversy-all-she-never-wanted/

Read the article. It's pretty telling. I love her so much for speaking her mind. She's often said that she has saved enough money to be able to live just fine for the rest of her life, if she walked away from showbiz today. And if they don't stop fucking with her, she make just take her money and "Just Walk Away". hey hey hey heeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy!

I'm silly.

Sadly, she's famous now...

2009-07-26T14:32:00.000-07:00

Alexis Cohen, probably the Idol contestant known for giving the most vicious f-finger kiss off to Simon ever, has been killed in a hit-and-run accident on the New Jersey shore.

Very, very sad. Mostly because she actually made the "www.celebritydeathbeeper.com" email blast. She must be smiling from heaven (or other areas unknown to us) having been deemed a celebrity as a result of her untimely demise.

Thanks NJ Fan for the scoop. Since this happened in your own state...perhaps you can let us all know if they find the culprit.

Daughtry Album ROCKS MY WORLD

2009-07-14T15:24:00.000-07:00

People, why are you reading this blog when you should be online downloading Daughtry's new album. OMG, it is stellar beyond stellar.

Ok, now look, I know you don't believe me because I love everything, but seriously, I have been objective in the past. I had that "My Life would Suck without you song' by KC and I said it from the get - go.

Back to DAughtry. Hello? Sophomore album better than first one? I'm thinking so...although I'm not sure there is a "HOME" or Start Over anthem ballad mega hit, atleast it didn't hit me quite yet, but I have only listened to it 2 times so far. BUT, it does not have a bad track on it....a weak one, but not one I zip past like the Slash song on his debut cd.

Daughtry's album blows David Cook's out of the atmosphere. No comparison. Cook is nowhere in the league of Daughtry. Not even close. It's VERY apparent with this new cd, "Leave This Town".

PS l do not like Chris's whiskers in the video.

Watching Twilight...this is really trippy...

2009-07-11T22:50:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I actually am liking this movie. OMG, I am never going to grow up. I will be watching Gossip Girl and The Hills when I am 80 years old.

ooh, this is way better than I thought...except I hate scary movies...how can I like this. I actually had to stop knitting.

Spooky shit this is.

Cole

Chris Daughtry does Lady GaGa

2009-07-09T09:58:00.000-07:00

OMG, NJ Fan has passed on the coolest video. Sorry, can't embed it, but her is the link.

http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/realityrocks/247214/chris-daughtry-goes-gaga

For those of you who not cool enough to know Lady GaGa, she was the freak show on American Idol this season with the blacked out eye.

Daughtry album out next week. Whoo Hoo!

What's Up ...What? It's July already?

2009-07-01T21:58:00.001-07:00

What the hell? Where is the first 6 months of 2009 go?

First, where the hell did I go? Well, I've been on blog sabbatical, of course. Because I was feeling stale and bored and I had to get over the let down of Idol. I'm not sure Idol can spark it for me anymore. Seriously.

Just got back from Lake Tahoe. Went with the husband unit...and we were crashing at Harvey's Casino because we got a room for 71.00! ha. So we hauled our boat up there to go out on the Lake. We got there on Monday and were sitting in the steak house eating our 9 million dollar salads, when someone walked up to my table and said "Hey! What are you doing here?" and for fuck's sake it was my best friend from Texas A&M. OMG, I was so freaked out. Now, I have seen him like 3 months ago, so it hasn't been that long, but seriously? Of all the places to run into someone...a steakhouse at Harvey's Casino is kind of odd. He lives in like 5 cities, so for him to travel to Lake Tahoe was a rarity alone. He and his partner sat down and joined us for din din and we had Bananas Foster at the table and everything!!!

My husband and I are gambling snobs. In that we don't believe in gambling. It's just weird to us. HOWEVER, I asked G Snob Hub if we could each burn 20.00 just because, and he said sure. (Editorial note: "asking" is a loose term.. I would do it anyway but it was a professional courtesy. I do work bitches and I can spend my money how I want)

So after dinner, which my friend paid for!!! whoo hoo, we went to the penny slots. Yes 1 cent. and burned 5 bucks in 20 secs and went upstairs to bed.

Night #2. Finished dinner at Hard Rock Cafe (whatevs...no other choice really) and went over to another penny slot. Well this time I turned 10 bucks into 20. Whoo Hoo. Cashed in and went to bed

Day #3...travel home day. Shot out of bed at 8:00 am. Knew hubby would take his usual 45 min shower. put hair in ponytail because gambling fever had struck. I had a pennyslot nagging at me in my sleep. So, just as he got up, I said..."see ya', going to get Starbuck and penny slots on way back up until 9:30 when you get out of shower. He gave me the eyeball, said "Oh boy" and laughed.

I TURNED 10 BUCKS INTO 30 BUCKS. Yowzah! I was giddy. GIDDY I TELL YOU. God Forbid I hit it big because I will be in the padded cell of a big house some where. I ran upstairs and right into that bathroom. I said "wipe the fog off the shower door..and slapped that winning slip on it! He laughed his ass off.

I made him call me Winnie (short for Winner) the rest of the day. And I chanted "I'm a winner in life" all day just to make him laugh. It was a 4 hour drive home.

Oh I forgot, just as we pulled out of town, the lady at the border station (where we had to stop for boat inspection) told us..."oh, Hwy 50 is closed for 1 to 4 hours so expect a delay." What the fuck??? We whipped that bad ass 55 foot rig of our in reverse, did a bat turn, and went home via the other side of the lake. yes, that is an extra hour trip but we made it home in 4 hours.

Sorry, not much talking about Michael Jackson today. I'm embarrassed at how we as a country are treating the loss of a human life. A life that brought so much happiness to millions at what appears to be a sacrifice of his own sanity and happiness. I pray his children are not doomed to the same fate. Please let them find some normalcy in their upbringing.

I will say one other thing...I saw Michael Jackson on the Thriller tour at Texas Stadium in Dallas, Texas. He was magnificent, mesmorizing and most assuredly, a memory I will always treasure.

xoxo,

ColeyB

Perez is up to his ass in alligators

2009-06-24T12:32:00.000-07:00

Did you hear he called Will.I.am a gay slur name?

I'm loving it. He's getting his just deserves. Especially after all he did making fun of dumb Miss California, who totally deserved it, but he put a magnifying glass on it.

Now let's read about the cheating governor who disappeared for days...

Politicians...omg. What the 'f is wrong with them?

Suri Cruise...what a darling little girl

2009-06-18T22:27:00.000-07:00

That little Suri Cruise is the cutest celeb baby EVah! I don't care if her dad is a alleged Scientologist freak...I worship yarn and fried foods. Don't be hatin'.

I think she will grow up to be just stunning. She has the most interesting eyes, just like her momma. Who is not a freak. She just loves her man. And who are you kidding, if he pursued you, I bet you wouldn't care what the hell he worshipped, as long as you were top of the list.

xoxo,

ColeyB

Oh No He Di'NT

2009-06-18T11:35:00.000-07:00

Poor David Archuleta. That Dad of his will always be an albatross around his neck. Poor thing.

Now that asswipe has been picked up for soliciting a prostitute. Actually, it was more than that...they busted the massage parlor and asked if there was anyone there, and he was picked up 'after the sexual gratification was complete'. Ewwwww! PERVY dude.

How sad for that sweet little Archie. You know he loves his Dad. And he's about to go on tour with Demi Lovato. Sadness.

I hope Poppa Archie burns in Mormon Hell for this one. Pecker wood. Who does he think he is?

Disgusted.

Remember Bobby Sherman?

2009-06-16T13:50:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I'm old. I was a little girl and he was the heart throb before David Cassidy, I believe. OMG. Look at him now!

He's a cop at 63. Imagine what he feels like knowing he was a teenage heart throb...

I still like Shawn Cassidy most of all.

Most of my crushes ended with the stars in rehab. Leif Garrett, Scott Baio, Willie Aames...what a pack of losers...or just plain 'off'd themselves (Andy Gibb). Sad era in the boy rocker days...Find it hard to believe the Backstreety Boys and NSync have managed to keep it together.

xoxo

Speidi Vs. Roker

2009-06-16T11:58:00.001-07:00

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

This shit is awesome. Say what you will, I loves me some Speidi. They are such trainwrecks and seriously they believe they are the most popular celebs of all time.

LOL

Adam Lambert 20/20

2009-06-15T13:03:00.000-07:00

I can't find any videos with the embed information so I can post for you...but I have a new found love of Glambert

Just go to Perez Hilton...or 20/20 abc to find it...or google adam lambert 20/20

He's a cutie pie.

Cole

Remember Danny Noriega?

2009-06-14T21:31:00.000-07:00

Mr. "Some people weren't Liking It" has self produced the most hideous shit video I have ever seen.

And so I feel compelled to sicken you with it as well...

Enjoy!

Where I've been lately....

2009-06-11T09:10:00.001-07:00

I guess it's time to break the news that I have re-invented myself, yet again.

I have redirected my energies from blogging to entering the world of owning a business...

I opened a yarn shop called The Yarn Cottage, as you see in the picture above.

I know you just thought my knitting was a hobby, but it's an obsession and I love it and so I dove in and opened a shop in town...actually moved into some space in an existing gift shop. It's quite fun.

So, I'll keep you all posted from time to time...and will most assuredly be back for American Idol next season. Hope you all are enjoying the Adam Lambert Rolling Stone interview and photos. And also the unbelievable speed in which Kris Allen has become irrelevant. Did he even make ONE magazine cover? Seriously?

Enjoy the summer! I'll check in with you occasionally!

xoxo,

ColeyB

I'm back after a brief sabbatical

2009-05-29T22:14:00.000-07:00

I decided I would write again when I found something fun to write about...namely the news after Idol. OMG, what a fucking buzzkill that was. I mean seriously. That season really ended with a big old clunker. The winner is as exciting as watching grass grow. And all we really get is Clay Aiken taking pot shots? As if? Mr. Spamalot is the spokesperson of who should win Idol. By the way, you did take second place like Adam, Gayken.

I love that Adam pot shotted back with "if this is how Clay gets his name in headlines, I'm happy to help him out. We hadn't heard anything about him for awhile, had we?" Meoww...hiissssss...cat claws out!

There's nothing I like more than a gay piss-off.

Well, I got nothing else. Except Everyone think of ME on Tuesday when the game I work on "the Sims 3" ships on Tuesday! Whoo Hoo!

Ok, xoxo.

L8tr Sk8trs

And the winner is....a big shocker...

2009-05-20T22:56:00.000-07:00

This is what shock and dismay looks like...omg.

Was I shocked? Hell no, because I told all of you that Gokey votes were not going to Adam. It's simple math people.

I am not sad for Adam. He's on the cover of US Magazine before tonite's results. He's a rock star and the AI title would have hurt him more than helped. He'll go Daughtry on us. Probably crazier, of course. There are managers beating down his door, but they probably have to get past Simon first.

So, during the Kris Allen performance with Keith Urban, were you thinking he would go country? Probably should think about it. Contemporary country is pretty hot still. Taylor Swift is rolling up to the bank in her Barbie Dream Machine and shoveling in the dough in by the fists fulls.

So, what was your favorite moment of the show?

I'll shake 'em down for you.

Hands down: Kara's performance where she ripped her dress open. Balls to the wall ballsy. I loved it and I have a total new respect for that woman..and hello? she has a voice. And that silicone sally tried to keep singing. OMG. Oh MY GOD what a dumbass.

I love Santana, hated Stewart

Cyndi Lauper was sitting with her legs spread so far apart, I expected her to give birth. She looked like she was ready for a PAP. All that was missing was the stirrups.

Megan Joy, thank you for getting voted off because if I had had to listen to that voice for more weeks, I personally would need hearing aids today.

Randy Jackson stole from the Michael Jackson museum to come up with that Military coat.

Heather Locklear was in the crowd with her daughter, as she is every year. Spoiled brat gets front row seats every year.

David Cook was rocket hot. He's so awesome. What a nice, humble huge human being he is. God shines his light on him, in his darkest hours. That song was written for his brother, who passed 2 weeks ago, for those that did not know.

Kara's song for the winner sucked. It was all over the place like a hot mess. ugh.

Did I tell y'all how much I hated work today? Just thought I'd throw that in there. But I did buy a new EA Sports Active game and I'm going to start xcersizin' in my livin' room like Jane Fonda did, once upon a time.

So, Simon did not stand up and cheer for Kris. The other 3 judges, who were not raised by wolves, showed common decency and stood with applause. Egghead Simon.

So, tell me what you guys think. I'll write more tomorrow. I hope I see alot of Adam interviews.

xoxo,

ColeyB

PS. I won the office pool.

Last American Idol Post of Season 8 - well maybe

2009-05-20T09:54:00.000-07:00

Well, here we are people. Last night's show was interesting. Adam mopped up the floor with Kris's tiny mustache. Or was that a chocolate milk stain. Looks ridiculous.

I just have to say Adam is the most entertaining Idol we have ever had come to the finals. He was amazing. Carrie Underwood rocked. The rest of them were just filler. Paula's dress looked like it came from discount rack at The Dress Barn and Kara had her hair done by a drag queen. But no one, AND I MEAN, NO ONE, was dressed worse than Randy. HELLO? All I could see was Chris Farley and the Matt Foley Skit "I live in a van down by the river". It was the same plaid suit.

So, who will win? Should be Adam, but if the gay haters blow it out and voted last night, Kris "milk toast" Allen from Arkansas will be our winner. Atleast he isn't from a densely populated state that will vote on geography alone.

More later skaters.

ColeyB

And then there were two...

2009-05-14T00:38:00.000-07:00

So, as I predicted, Adam & Allen showdown. Hokey Pokey Gokey is headed back to the land of cheese don'tcha know. Let's give a big Lambeau Leap to our Packer fan Danny and wish him the best on his record, sure to release this fall. I predict a Clay Aiken career for him. He could be the next Dave Matthews. Not cool enough, I know.

So a Kris and Adam finale. Wow. Milk toast man and Acid rocker. What a spectrum of personality we have here.

And only 1,000,000 votes separate them. Now, listen people. I believe Adam is in trouble. I predict a Kris Allen win, and I'll tell you why. The 20 or so million votes that went to Gokey, now have to go somewhere, theoretically. I predict they will go to Kris before they go to Adam. I'm just sayin'. I think Kris and Gokey split the votes. And more Gokeys will go to Kris.

I really like Kris, to be honest. I think Adam is more talented and we all know he does NOT need the win to get a rock album produced. No problem. Archuleta did just fine without winning.

So, I thought the show was great. But my buddy Sheila was over and we were yappin' and eating tacos and I just wasn't into watching the show. Sorry. I missed Jordin. I'll watch it tomorrow.

xoxo peeps. Our Season 8 is almost over.

Oh, and you can buy Daughtry's new single on Itunes now. Yummy.

And for those of you who have not bought K. Clarkson...what the hell? You are missing out. It's really a great album. I hear like 5 hits on that thing. If you buy one song on Itunes, "Don't Make Me Stop You" is one song that you will hear in your head over-and-over. It's so great. Has that anthem feel like some of her first super megahits from Breakaway.

zzzzz..........

Three Little PIggies...singing on the stage...

2009-05-12T20:33:00.000-07:00

Here we go...2 songs each. It's a two-fer night.

Gokey, Kris and Adam. Have we ever had a final 3 of testosterone? Hasn't there always been a set of boobies in there? It's odd to me tonite. By the way, Alison was on ELLEN and she busted it out awesome.

So, Pauler puts Gokey in the dumper from the get-go. Terrence Trent Duh-by? What? Even Gokey didn't know it. So, yuk. And he did aiirright, but not enough to win my vote.

Kris Allen...Apologize. Awesome song. Love One Republic. Oooh Look...they got him behind the piano. That's nice. Ok, so it was ok, but not a barn burner really. He is just kind of sortof boring. I've always said that.

And now for Adam. Um, say what you will, but he is the winner you know. Seriously.

So, of course, Simon pulls in the big U2 guns and hello? ONE hell of a performance. I hate to say it but I love that gay boy.

SONG'S #2: What is Hokey Pokey Gokey going to choose to sing? You Are So Beautiful by Joe Cocker. Great choice. Let's see if he pulls it off. Oh, this is just stunningly beautiful. Like the perfect arrangement for his voice. It MADE IT HIS OWN. And it went from ballad to energetic and passionate. Now I see glimpses of David Cook in him on this performance. I think he nailed it and may have just locked in #2 position for next week. Seriously. Nice, nice job and more importantly stunning emotion and passion. Randy and Kara agree with me, wisely. Pauler loved it. Simon...here we go. WOW Vocal Master Class. Now, I hope the 12 year olds with their fingers

Kris Allen....SINGING KANYE WEST, Heartless. NUH-Uh? What? If his plan is to bust out, he may just do it. Crazy. I can't wait to hear this. Ok, so this is insane. It's so risky. He has some rappin' going on and no backup music. Just acoustic guitar. Wow. That was crazy. I loved it. I swear I cannot believe that guy pulled that out. Betcha' Simon hated it, I'll tell you 'indulgent' will come out of his mouth. Paula, we are so sick of you digging at Simon. Seriously. OK, Simon shocked me and he says he was great. So, good job.

Ok, I have to say, Kris and Adam finale would make me happy. Really. With Adam winning it all. I would be happy if Kris won though. Or Gokey. I guess that means none of them really are my FAVES. Listen, when Daughtry was voted out, I was so depressed. I cried. I was despondent. Seriously. And if David Cook had lost, I would have cried crocodile tears. Can you guys believe I didn't watch Kelly Clarkson win in the first season? And Carrie Underwood was killer and I loved Bo Bice. Ok, so thanks for letting me go down memory lane. For those of you who wanted to see Fantasia, Reuben, Taylor or Jordan have a big career...sorry. (though Jordan has some awesome songs, and let's be thankful Chris Brown didn't whack her in the studio.)

Adam...Aerosmith...Crying. This is going to KILL. OMG. I cannot wait. Thanks to TIVO I don't have to...and can play it dozens of times. And I will. I hate the backup bitch that is stepping on Adam's vocal. Who the hell is that? Sounds like Melinda Doolittle.

Ok, I like Aerosmith's version better, but whatever, who cares...he's a rock star. Our first gay Rock star, if you don't count David Lee Roth.

xoxo,

ColeyB

Couch wars

2009-05-09T19:24:00.000-07:00

OMG, my hub and I have been at each other's throats today. He wants a freaking sectional sofa with a recliner in the end.

WTF? How old are we? 90? Seriously.

I can't stand it. He's calling me a furniture snob and if Ethan Allen made it I wouldn't care.

And he's so rude. I was googling sectional sofas. And he kept saying "type in L-shaped couch" which I thought was retarded. And I looked over and can you believe he found 'lshapedcouches.com" or some shit like that.

There is some good news. We are moving our tv into the kitchen, so I can watch tv and COOK at the same time...and we can eat and watch tv, just like the nice white trash suburbanites we were raised to be. And then, we are getting a flat screen for the living room. Whoo Hoo.

Of course, he want's one the size of a billboard, and I'm saying NO, we aren't getting it where it looks like the freaking Survivor people are in my living room WITH me at Survival Council. Hey, maybe they could vote GREG off the couch!

How's your weekend. Mine has been slightly uneventful, except I lost my sunglasses. I think I left them at my friend's store.

BYE now

Last Night's Show

2009-05-06T10:03:00.000-07:00

Sorry, but super busy and no time to blog.

I hated the duets getting judged.

Adam killed...Danny ...meh....Alison great...Kris...um, not sure?

I think Alison is going home.

Thoughts?

Paula Performs Tomorrow Night

2009-05-05T13:46:00.000-07:00

All I can say is "OH LORD HELP US".

I can feel my butt clenching already. It will be cringe-worthy for sure. I hope the Ford Commercial doesn't upstage her, that's all I'm saying.

Prove me wrong Pauler.

BTW, Your boobies look nice above and your arms are so toned for a 50 year old. (not her real age but I know "Forever Your Girl" was ages ago, right?) You go grandma-in-training.

If you want to hear the song early, (there might be one of you out there), go to Ryan Seacrest's website for KIIS fm and you can click away.

PS: I admit I did it and it's a cross between Madonna's "MUSIC" and Britney. That's all I'm sayin'. Techno pop. Highly voice engineered.

coley 'with her cat claws clenched' b

Thanks JenG for the scoop!

Results of Rat Pack Week...what rat leaves the ship

2009-04-29T21:40:00.000-07:00

OMG, the cake fight was ridiculous. And then the bad news that Trailer Hicks is coming on tonite. I looked at Greg and said...get the remote ready.

So they do the divide and shocker! Adam is in the bottom 3. Do I smell a Daughtry exit for Adam? No way...It's Giraud...all the way.

Someone give Natalie Cole a freakin' sandwich. OMG, did you see those stick legs? And now it's Trailer. Ok, I made it through 30 seconds. His interview was pretty good, actually. Better than that giggler Archuleta.

Why is Kris Allen dressed like he is about to go out to wash his car? Seriously.

NUH UH. Ok, Adam in the bottom 2? OMG, this is getting weird. I didn't think this season was going to actually give me a shock. Seriously, I really have been somewhat bored in a way. If my contract was up this year, like Simon, I might be thinking of a new show to blog about. haha.

Jamie Foxx...Let's do the crotch grab countdown. I have 2 so far. What's with the Kanye techno voice crap? He don't dance so smooth y'all. Usher he ain't. This song sux. Ok, I admit it isn't my genre of music, but this is a lip sync extraordinaire performance. He seems to forget to keep the mike in front of his grill. Goonie goo goo Jamie.

You gotta give it to the Idol machine...they are really quite good at drawing the talent to the stage. Jamie pimps out his movie...the Soloist. You know, my buddy, got to see a preview of the movie and she LOVED it. She glowed over it.

Hubby was quick to point out Pauler's boobies.

I'm telling y'all if Adam goes tonite, I'm done with this show. I'm serious.

Ok, he's safe, you're safe, you still got me.

Matt's out...and I get 13 points in the pool.

You know what killed him? His damn hat. I hated it. He was cool. You know, I might actually go see the Top 10 of idols this year too...and just show up late when the oil field worker sings. haha.

I'm not listening to the last sing..hey, listen...rent the movie THE FABULOUS BAKER BOYS, and you will see the best performance of "Funny Valentine" sung by Michelle Pfeiffer, who has never recorded an album ever..and was discovered as a grocery store checker in LA. No kidding. She's married to David ? who invented Ally McBeal. Why, and where did I get off on a tiny biography of Michelle Pfeiffer? I am so weird sometimes.

So, we say good bye to the Eliott Yamin of this season. The one who has our heart, but not our votes. haha!

xoxo,

ColeyB

TWITTER freaks me out

2009-04-28T22:18:00.000-07:00

Ok, I keep getting these Twitter updates that these people are following me. I'm like, who the hell are these people. Actually it kind of made me nervous. How does this dude in San Antonio know me. And then this chick, lets call her Polly Tiny, started following me, so I got curious and went to her profile and read her blog. And um, she if funnier than ME. I know, not possible, but she is. OMG.

So a couple days have gone by. And well, you may not know this but I don't EVER look at my blog, I just click on 'new post'. So, tonite, I decided to look at the blog and laugh some more at the Jamie Foxx pic. (priceless huh?) And guess what I saw on MY blog. This little 'follow me on Twitter' icon. OMG, that's how people are following me.

OMG, where did that come from on my blog. This technology is all starting to take on a life of its own. And I forget that, although I think only 20 or so people read this blog, there are still strangers that stumble on board now and again. So, HI THERE strangers. Twitter me! Send me a tweet.

I have never tweeted yet. Except to Kelly Clarkson. I still love her so much it's sad. In July, I think I am going to go up to the Konocti Harbor @ Clear Lake and try to sneak into the concert all by myself. I will con someone and say I left my ticket at home and burst into tears or something. Hell, that place is open air, I'll just get my lawn chair and sit in the parking lot like a total hobo and just knit and listen. OMG, would that be a laugh riot. People would just look at me so funny.

My new cell phone ring tone is going to be DON'T LET ME STOP YOU...by Kelly Clarkson, duh.

It's such a good song. Go buy it. NOW on Itunes or Rhapsody or where ever. Don't steal it.

xoxo

American Idol - Foxx on Fox

2009-04-28T22:03:00.001-07:00

You come a long way baby! From his clown face to Oscar winner.

I actually wish Jamie had gotten to perform. Who is performing tomorrow night?

So, I like the Rat Pack. I loved all the songs, even if they reminded me of Bride & Groom first dances. I was talking to the Exec Producer of The Sims 3 tonite, and he's such a cool guy. He saw my Idol posters in my cube and asked if I was an Idol fan. (duh) I sort of shyly said, "Um, yeah, well I write a blog about it, so I'd say I'm a fan." And then he saw the blog, and suddenly, he's spilling forth with all these cool and poignant observations about Idol and Adam Lambert. It was so fun to find he is totally into Idol. I mean this is the dude that is in charge of bringing the Sims 3 game to finish in about a month! Wowza. He's so nice, like incredibly nice guy.

So you are all going to buy Sims 3 right? Because I sweat blood over that packaging for 18 months. Just read a review about it and lie to me that you bought it, I'll be happy. Who are we kidding, I won't even play it. I'm not smart enough to be honest. Plus this blog takes most of my time that I'm not knitting.

Ok, look where's the damn Idol review Cole? Oh yeah....

So, just the fact that my conversation with S3 guy distracted me ought to tell you that I am tiring of this competition now. I mean, I really don't care who wins like I did in years past. Seriously. I feel so gipped. We wait so long for this show to come on, and we want to find our person to root for...and I have to say the only one with a personality that I would care about their record or a concert is still Adam...but Kris Allen is creeping up on me. Danny Gokey is no longer of interest, but Kris is a far second place behind AL.

Ryan Seacrest needs highlights in his hair and Simon Cowell needs sunscreen. Paula needs to stop shopping in the bridesmaids departments for her 'gown of the week', and learn that costume jewelry is not the bomb she thinks it is.

Kara, please sit back in your seat. you have tiny boobies so stop wearing strapless dresses that emphasize your lack of something to hold the dress up.

Randy, I'm so disappointed in you this year dawg, you have let me down. Can you not be funny anymore? What?

I'm tired now. I have a big meeting tomorrow. I hope I don't get fired. lol

coleyb

And we lose TWO tonite, for the first time EVER!

2009-04-22T21:17:00.000-07:00

Ok, so right off the bat they off someone! Wow, can you believe it? Like tearing off a bandaid!

David Archuleta comes back to the stage tonite. I can't wait. Me loves me some Archie.

And Pauler Abduler gets her 15 seconds of choreography fame to relive. The chick still has the moves. You have to give her props for those hip thrusts and groovy moves. And that Adam Lambert has some dance moves that are consistent with his vocals. HOT HOT HOT, even if he is gay, and that's ok.

Who are these old drag queens of disco legends? Why must they bring these poor ladies out of retirement and squeeze them into those shiny hideous gold dresses? KC AND THE SUNSHINE BAND, I used to love his him so much. I'm dating myself here, but seriously, I had some fun times in college singing to his groove tones. But sadly, KC did not 'just say no' to the donuts over the years. Krispy Kreme regular, I'm thinking.

Holy Moly, Alison is in the bottom 2! No way.

Simon busts Seacrests balls ... catfight! Catfight! Simon is a bitch.

OMG, I love Archuleta. I love this song off the cd. Hey, who wants to go with me to see him with Demi Levato? Disney night! Come on...wouldn't it be fun? If I was in high school, his Tiger Beat poster would be up on my wall 4-sure.

Hey everyone, do you hear that sound? It's the sound of the Slumdog train pulling into the station. Anoop's ride is over! Aaahhh! I really really am sad about Anoopsky leaving. I was sort of liking him. I would rather have seen goony Matt out of here.

And Alison is the last girl standing.

Everyone, feel sorry for me because my husband is going to make me watch DRAG RACE HIGH tonite. Boo. I hate Hot Rod TV. Jeffro, do you make your wife watch baseball? I wanna watch Gossip Girl, The Hills and Real Housewives of NYC. They are all on my TIVO just taunting me to watch them. How can I divert him to the back bedroom tv.

Alrighty, well, Seacreat out...(not the closet however).

ColeyB

Sorry, I lost all of my funniness today at the Factory.

Dear AmyB...

2009-04-22T10:50:00.000-07:00

Thank you for your eloquent last post...I've pasted it here for those too lazy to dig for it.

NJ Fan - Yes. Gokey would be the next Taylor Hicks (starring in a local version of Grease, BTW) if he were to win.
Cole - LOL about "Anoop is riding the Slumdog train...." You're spot on about that. I can't watch him or his awkward stage presence. He does sound good, but I don't like to look at him. The "fraternity brothers dared him" feels like the case every single week.
I can't stand Alison the 16 year old and don't understand the hype at all. I really do not. Not being harsh, but she looks like she is at least 40. I don't want to watch 16 year olds sing like that.
My top 3 picks at the beginning were Adam, Kris, and the blonde girl that got voted off after singing Dolly Parton. I feel good right now that it will be Adam and Kris in the final 2 with Adam winning. They are the only ones I would even consider paying $ to see. And probably not Kris. Only Adam.
Adam has really done a good job in toning down the freak show and letting his talent be the thing that shines, not just theatrics. Is he gay? Not that it matters (well at least to me, maybe not Miss Almost USA California) but I really can't quite tell if he is gay. He did say that he loved the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Did I just type that? Holy stereotypes...shame on me! I have more gay boyfriends than I can count on 2 hands though, so I feel I am allowed! :)
Lil...oh Lil. No matter how funny you think you are, or how right you think you are, you never and I mean NEVER sass the judges or act like you know more than them. I think that is a one way ticket to the bottom 3, and ultimately the bottom 1.
Timberfake shouldn't have been saved last week. I think they just wanted to flaunt the new feature of the show at least once.
So, Lil reminded me of Evelyn Walker, and Adam reminds me of Brandon Barber. Right?! Lu, Cole - back me up!
----------------
Amy,

Allow me to answer your question with a photo I stole off PzHilton...Is Adam Gay? Yes, he dresses in Drag...and yes he is openly gay, but no, he doesn't try to wave the rainbow flag in everyone's face, and wants to win or lose based on talent, not sexuality. This is where Perez pisses me off. He keeps posting "We need our first Gay Idol". Why? And you got one, his name is Clay Aiken. You even named him Gayken. Sure, he didn't win, but I wouldn't be typing his name if he wasn't in the finals with loser Rueben. Clay outsold him, and a couple of other idols to follow, up until Carrie and Daughtry stormed the stage.

Let this be a lesson to anyone posting anything on the internet. Of course, this blog alone has sealed my fate, as I would not be able to get elected "Dog Catcher" in my town...even if I was running unopposed.

Next Up, we welcome comments on the picture below. LOL

Adam Lambert Wins the Night, no big shocker

2009-04-21T22:45:00.000-07:00

Duh...

People, can you just watch that show and not say, "Omg...he is totally fantastic." Ok, he just killed a BeeGees song. Do you realize he say Bee Gees? And Tears For Fear? and other crazy bands? And he killed every one of them (except Johnny Cash, and that was just sacraligious. Or however you spell/say it.

Alison's hair is starting to remind me of Peg Bundy.

Anoop is riding the Slumdog Millionaire train as long as he can. He's get's cuter by the minute, doesn't he. Do me a favor, if he survives tomorrow night, listen to his performances with your eyes shut. The voice does not match the face. He's so sexy voiced, but such a little boy face, atleast to me. Which is curious because they have him growing out a beard. To get rid of BabyFace, perhaps? Well, it didn't work for Spencer Pratt, and I fear Anoop is going to look scruffy too.

Kris Allen is talented. And for that matter, they all are. We did see the last of Lil' Rounds people. I'm sorry but that was the last of Lil and her House of Wigs. And Matt Girard will be gone as well.

Danny Gokey. He suffers Carrie Underwood syndrome. Good voice, bad stage presence. No star power. Fortunately, Carrie was white lava hot, nice boobies, awesome body, and perfect for Country. Danny on the other hand, in a police line up, might be someone cuter than the average purse snatcher, but I'm betting Jeffro's dimples are better. :) Danny dances like Eddie Murphy used to in a Saturday Night Live skit called the "white man's overbite dance". Look it up. Funny as hell.

Again, I ask you...you've got $60.00 in your pocket. Who are you buying tickets to see? Adam Lambert. I think Alison is good, but I'm really not interested in Bonnie Raitt's grandaughter. I'm not into Miley Cyrus either. I do love David ARchuleta, so it isn't an age discrimination. You know I am partial to trainwrecks like Britney too.

Ok, it's late, I'm rattling, and I've had WAY to much blowing my mind today, with work, personal shit, knitting and the oppressive Africa hot heat that Northern California is experiencing. I feel like my face is melting, and it's only 90 outside. But, when you aren't used to it, it's freaking AFRICA hot. And my husband keeps getting in bed before I can change the flannel sheets to the Egyptian cotton ones. Oh, how I long for the cool sheets of summer.

The a/c has been cranking since I got home at 8:00 tonite. I went to KFC for grilled chicken, because you know I have to TRY everything once. What a ripoff. It still has the greasy fatty skin. I thought it would be healthy. Nope. Don't be fooled, I could still wring enough grease out of it to fry an egg, if necessary.

It's still 74 in this house. Hey, why am I still typing. Go to bed Cole.

Ok, zzzzzzzzzzzzzz................. :)

Jeffro, I'm sad about the SF Giants. :( Please send me a personal email and lift my spirits. Tell me Randy Johnson, who I met and sat with in the dugout one time, is going to be our savior. And by the way, standing next to RJ, I come up to his waist. No kidding. He is literally 14 inches taller than me. I looked like a primordial dwarf. But he was very sweet and thanked me for making his picture look good on the cover of the baseball video game. Such a quiet and nice man. Unlike that cheeser Luis Gonzales who was staring at everyone's boobs, including mine. And Barry Bonds was being a tool. Ok, why am I telling this story? Why? I'm not name dropping as it was a stupid stupid work thing, not fun, and embarrassing because I got hit by a runaway ball from batting practice. Of course.

New Kelly Clarkson Video

2009-04-19T10:53:00.000-07:00

Ok, Citizens of Blogtown, your Mayor has pulled off no easy feat this morning...

Let's start from the beginning...I finally pulled my a&& out of the giant pillow that is my bed @ 9:30 am. This is a miracle, as I am never sleeping past 8:00 am. So, obviously, my tiny pea of a brain needed some major regenerating. Thanks to all that sent me notes wishing me to 'feel better soon'. I'd like to think you truly care about my well-being, but some of the notes were thinly veiled "get back to blogging notes" because some of you are too lazy or too ill-equipped to Goggle for other entertainment. Hey, I'm happy to provide your daily fix of wasting work time on the internet.

Anyhoo, lets start again. I got up, watched tv, came to internet, found Perez Hilton saying he had posted new Kelly Clarkson video. So I click the link, immediately, and it takes me to some Chinese website...where I can't read a freaking word. But the push play arrow is universally icon happy, so I got to see it. (above) So this is why it's all weird Chinese characters.

Remember me posting those picture of her and the cast from the video shoot? From her private blog? Wasn't that fun to see them all in action?

Anyhoo, that was fun. Ok, back to the couch.

Cole

Never thought I'd post a Lindsanity Lohan video

2009-04-17T11:39:00.000-07:00

Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Profile from Lindsay Lohan

This is actually entertaining and funny. Atleast to me.

Enjoy!

Cole

I'm here...just really sick

2009-04-16T21:22:00.000-07:00

People, I'm sorry. But I caught a case of the epizooties. Translation, my nose is running and my head hurts.

I watched Idol but I didn't have the energy to write about it.

I'm sorry that they saved Matt, because it's going to be embarrassing when he is in the bottom 2 next week...and then that 'save button' will be like 'whatever' button.

I promise to be fun and witty over the weekend. So much to write about.

Hey, do me a favor and go on Twitter and follow Ashton Kutcher. My EA family is trying to help him get 1,000,000 followers. And the 1 millionth person gets to be in an EA video game. ha!

Sniff, cough, zzzzzzzzzzzz........

cb

I'm HOME!!! So happy to be here!

2009-04-14T19:35:00.000-07:00

Hugs from hubby and kitty cats...and all is right with the world again. I really missed my little 2 cat and 1 husband family unit!!! For reals.

So enough mush from me, let's get to Idolicious. Tonite, it's Idolosity! Movie songs. Can't wait.

Alison leads us off with Aerosmith. Awesome. That was great! Good job. Simon gives her the girlie girl vote. I really think this girl is so damn good, I don't even care that she is 16, forget that. She's just good, period. Would I go see her in concert? No. Would I buy a ticket to see any of these contestants...well, honestly, nope. Maybe Adam Lambert. Because he's crazy. And entertaining. If the ticket was $30.00 or less. If he won, I'd probably go see Idols On Tour. But seriously, I'd pay to see ARchuleta or Cook before her.

Anoop...pretty good job, if you ask me. I think he has a terrific voice. Again, buy a cd or ticket? nope.

Adam...OH MY GOD...he's just crazy mad. I LOVE HIM. Seriously, I really do. Paula wants to sleep with him, I can tell. She thinks she can flip him. Or dress up like a boy. Whatever it takes.

Matt Girard: I like him, and I think he sings great. But kind of weird. Just one thing about him is weird...can't figure it out though. He believes his own press. In other words, sort of full of himself, and then not so much.

Kris Allen, I really like his performance, but he reminds me of this guy at work. I can't get past it.

I don't really care about Lil. She's beautiful. But whatever.

Ok, so I'm kind of not into this tonite. I like Matt. Oh, I forgot Gokey. So, Gokey has decided to get all the blind guy votes that Scott left behind, by losing his glasses. ha ha ha. I'm tired of Gokey. I also hate the only 2 judges per person thing. Drop the stupid stuff. They waste so much dumb time in the beginning like commenting on clothes of the judges. This isn't Project Runway.

Bye now. I'm sick by the way, so feel sorry for me. I'm blowing my nose alot and have a cough. Spring Sinus Infection. Please send chocolate, except I can't even taste it. Oh snap, I probably missed all the 50% off Easter candy at Safeway. Crap.

I got no Easter candy this year. I hate that. I want some jelly beans. Chewy gems of sugarness.

Hugs to all.

Cole

Lil Rounds:

I'm in Indianapolis now!!! No sign of Jeffro yet.

2009-04-13T13:29:00.001-07:00

I left Dallas Ft Worth this morning, landed in Indianapolis under cloudy skies and a light rain. I have checked in to my secret location hotel. Hopefully, my secret service detail has managed to thwart any stalkery by Jeffro.

Actually, my business associate who reads the blog, was thinking he should come and see us! Seriously, she did not know that Jeffro and I weren't really friends and that I have never met him. Isn't that funny, because I feel like I have. He's kind of like the make-believe friend you had when you were in Kindergarten, that made you feel safe when you were scared. I'm not scared, but I do like knowing that Jeffro is out there somewhere, along with Susan, NJ Fan, Tink, Paul, Chris, Lu, Amy, Malooo, and the rest of you. I mean if something happened to me, you guys would surely be the first to figure it out if I didn't post a blog for like 2 weeks, right?

So, I am staying in what I would describe as a fat ass hotel tonite. What qualifies it as fat ass? Well, I will be able to watch tv from the bath tub, shower or throne. There is a 15" flat screen tv, right over the vanity sink. That swivels. OMG...so nice. SO nice.

gotta get back to work.

Playing Avon Lady today

2009-04-11T13:26:00.000-07:00

I'm at my sister's shop today in Dallas. She's on tv alot with that commercial now. It's funny that people recognize her.

My dad has come into town this weekend and I am wearing him out. We have had so much fun. I told him he is really getting old, he moves so slow. And I won't let him drive me in his freaking Army Assault Vehicle...A Ford Excursion. Man. Hugeness.

Anyway, he showed me, he got out of the car at the bookstore and started wandering off in the opposite direction towards a tire store. I yelled, "Dad, Dad"...and he stopped turned aroiund, and looked a discombobulated. Then he bust up laughing and said, "I'll show you old." ha ha ha

So, tomorrow is Easter. Hope everyone has fun on your egg hunt. I'm dying eggs tonite.

Cole

Overseas voters teaching how to cheat vote for Anoop

2009-04-08T20:43:00.000-07:00

Conspiracy theorist are saying Anoop fans are cheat voting for him. LOL

Seriously? Really?

Enjoy.

Crap - The Sequel

2009-04-08T20:36:00.000-07:00

OMG, my stupid sister's tivo f'd up and did not record the show. So, strike 2, I did not get to watch Idol this week. I feel like an appendage was torn off. WHY? Why me? I had to pop a Xanax to get over it. I actually sat there and watched iCarly on Nickelodeon with my nephews before bedtime. iCarly took over Idol. OMG. Mirando Cosgrove, you evil demon!

I am so sad I missed the vote off of Scott. Dammit. And I got zero points. DialIdol.com failed me.

Jeez.

Cole

Adam Lambert's Mad World performance

2009-04-07T21:54:00.000-07:00

Loved it.

Man he has surely come back alive in the past 3 weeks. Wow.

Going to be now.

'zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Twitter already paying off

2009-04-07T21:29:00.000-07:00

Hey, I Twittered Kelly Clarkson. I did not send her a Tweet, but I 'follow' her, which means when she sends out a Tweet, I get it and see what it says. And she posted some pics on her blog...which I just finished reading. She doesn't update much, but it is definitely written by her, and it's awesome. This pics are from her video shoot for her 2nd single..."I do Not Hook Up".

I still loves me some Kelly.

I'm gonna see if Carrie Twitters. famous people all Twitter. I'm following Will Ferrell and Kelly Clarkson.

Warning, do NOT follow Perez Hilton because he has Twitter diarreha. He tweets too much. Blah blah blah

xoxo,

ColeyB

CRAP, and I'm thinking of a naughtier word

2009-04-07T19:45:00.000-07:00

Why, why, why can't I remember what time zone I'm in. Why does the Central Time Zone of dumbasses watch prime time tv at 7:00 pm? Do you know where I am going with this? I missed American Idol tonite.

I did however, turn on just in time to see Adam Lambert's performance, which, according to the internet fans, was the only one worth seeing. And I agree.

In the recap, quite frankly, I did not see any performance that I am sorry I missed. I hated most of the songs they sang. God, the 80's were awful. Atleast the 80's that influenced these schleps.

Well, people, I have had lots of fun on this trip to Dallas. I'm here on business to oversee the printing of The Sims 3 video game packaging. So, when you go down to the local Target, Best Buy or Wal-Mart, and see the shiny box with the fun crystal green diamond usb drive, you can say "hey, I know the girl that managed that design and production". Sounds like such a boring job when I type it. Go buy one too. Send it to me and I'll autograph it for you! ha ha. I could get it autographed by the Exec Producer if you want! ha ha. Isn't that hilarious. Ben would crack up if he knew I typed that. Funny thing is that some people would like that. Those video game freakazoids.

Anyway, I have had a great time with my fellow Texans. Let me see, where do I start? Well, let's start off with my taxi ride in California to the airport. I parked at our office building to save the company money and not leave my car in parking garage for 9 days. Isn't that corporate citizenship-like of me? And let me just tell you, that driver was so bat-shit crazy, I swear to God I was about to pee my pants trying to hold it in. All I could do is grab my blackberry and start typing every key word coming out of his mouth, in hopes to piece it back together for the blog. Let me find my notes. I got in, and said, "Hello, nice day isn't it?" SILENCE. Think to myself, ok, well, be an asshole, I don't care. So I sit back and start thinking of someone to call.

(OMG, I just heard the guy in the next room fart. I'm in a hotel room and there hasn't been anyone there for 2 nights. Oooh. I'm disgusted. I hate it here now. Someone has invaded my space....I'll try to pull it together and finish this post.)

Back to Tom the Taxi Driver. So, he starts ranting about politics and how all the world leaders don't appreciate America. And he starts listing off countries like Rainman. I'm like, holy shit, I haven't even heard of some of those countries, but he's listing them in geographical order according to shared borders. Latvia, Lithoania, Crete, blah blah, hops over to another continent and then starts talking about South America, blah blah. It's trippy. Then he says he has people he has been underground with, and has some scientists working in mountain regions that he hasn't been allowed to communicate with for 15 years. (how does he know they are still there?) He also has hidden people, don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you but I can't talk about them, unless I want to go into hiding for 20 years. (Now I'm starting to look for the punk'd cameras...and he actually looks like Kevin Nealon, so I'm thinking I'm in a SNL skit. But anyway, the gist of the matter is this dude is a secret spy, posing as a cab driver to SFO for Yellow Cab. And I say to him, "Well, you have to make a living some how, with the economy down, even spies are probably hurting these days, right?" He looked at me and was kind of stunned. I just gave him a real cold stare back, like, I was totally and completely serious. And then I went bat shit on him. 'Cuz you know I had to. I told him that I was headed to do some secret work for the nut industry with the latest Pistachio outbreak of salmonella, following the peanut industry, and I had a 'deep throat' type tip that was threatening the almond industry next. Blue Diamond had hired me to negotiate with the bioterrorist and I was a chemist in food warfare. (yes, I threw in some Jack Bauer-isms). Without missing a beat, the driver wished me good luck at catching the bastards and appreciated the warning to stay away from 'table nuts'. What the fuck are table nuts? He bought it. OMG, why can't I have a film crew with me when I need one?

TONITE, my room service meal was 46.00 with tip. Insane. I had a hamburger, fries and a salad w/Diet Coke. And they burned the fucking hamburger. When I called to get the tray removed, they asked how my meal was. I said, well, you look at my plate, and that little pile of charcoal was intended to be eaten, I assume, but I am not into eating burnt food. But the salad was tasty. And they said they were so sorry, took it off my bill, and brought me cookies and milk! Now that's some freaking service. I wish I had the guts to complain more often! haha.

Today, I had the taxi driver drop me at a sandwich shop across the street from hotel, and then worn me that when I was done, to be careful crossing the street because many people get hit in that intersection. And he was emphatic about it. I was thinking...hey you a-hole, I just paid you 30 bucks to drag me somewhere and back, can't you sit here and drive me across the street in like 10 minutes. Nope, he had to go back and get back in line and wait for his next fare. I would have waited for me. stupid man. No Karma points for YOU!

Ok, I gotta go now. Oh, I forgot, I got lost in the gym locker room and ended up wandering into the man's side by accident. Holy fuck, thank God no one was in there, and had it not been for the men's shaving cream and giant shoes, I might have gotten busted. It was the weirdest thing. There was no MEN sign, just an "M" and it was so cursive and shit, I just thought it was like a symbol, for like whatever? Anyway, then I forgot the combination on my locker and I had to go down to the public area in a robe, etc. Moral to the story is working out is not supposed to happen for me. It's like a nun learning how to shoot pool. It's not natural.

xoxo,

ColeyB

Field Agent Susan Reports In

2009-04-07T14:39:00.000-07:00

Not to be outdone by the excellent reporting from our New Jersey Coast Reporter NJ Fan, a Dallas Field Agent has come through with some excellent scoopage of her own...let me post it verbatim (that means word-for-word, Jeffro) from Agent Susan:
--------------
Here is a personal message from Anoop's family and friends. Please send this to everyone you think will help!

Hello,

Hope you are well. We are going through an unprecedented experience in our life, feeling pride and joy ..and anxiety at Anoop's journey through the American Idol experience. Anoop is holding up well and says that he is enjoying every moment. I think he is growing up fast having been suddenly thrust into the "real world".

So, Anoop is now in the top 8 on American Idol. Last week was a close shave. We really appreciate your effort in voting to bring him this far. We are wondering if we can impose on you a little longer and ask you to please continue to vote as many times as possible and also to remind all your friends and family and colleagues that the competition is not yet over. This is a long competition and it is natural for the excitement to subside somewhat but this is a critical phase of the competition.

Some people felt that Anoop lost his cool last week and allowed his frustration to get the better of him. As his sincere (if unsuccessful in the eyes of the judges) effort was portrayed as a frivolous bet from "frat-boys" while the camera panned to his friends (who have graduated from college and are responsible and talented young men), I must admit that I bristled. This experience is teaching Anoop the difficult lessons of public life. We are happy to note that he did get good reviews on his vocals from the judges and some independent analysts. Below is a link to one of the more interesting analysis.
http://masterclasslady.com/2009/03/31/american-idol-season-8-top-9-vocal-masterclass-article-top-digital-downloads/#more-3509

So what should we do next? We think its time to re-energize Anoop's support. We hope that we can count on your help once more to remind your friends, family, colleagues and community to vote for Anoop remembering what caused you ( and them) to be excited for him in the first place. For his part I am certain that Anoop will strive to live up to the very highest expectations. Again, thank you for sharing our joy, excitement and pride for Anoop. We appreciate that you have spent countless hours of your precious time and used your influence to support and encourage him. Anoop is in the Top 8 as a result of that support.

The competition resumes on FOX on Tuesday 4/7/08 at 8:00PM with results show on Wednesday.

Whatever happens next, this has been a great ride and we are so very thankful for your friendship and effort. We are very proud of Anoop for having the courage to attempt this competition and doing something so very outside of his or our experience. ( I must say he is handling it much better than I am! ) We have made so many new friends, reconnected with old friends as well as Anoop’s teachers, and have become much closer to our extended family here in the US as well as in India and South Africa.

Please feel free to tweak this or send your own message when you forward. Thank You.

With Warm Regards,
Team Anoop

--------------

Now, that Anoop Family is mighty mighty proud of their little Anoopski. My goodness, have you ever read such a nice letter from anyone? That mom could probably get him elected President.

More scoop regarding Danny Gokey. It seems, backstage and among the competitors, Danny is not a favorite. In fact, unliked would be accurate. Sadness. He's all about himself. So, well, that's just a bit of gossip, but I will be watching to see hints of 'dissing him'. Like when someone gets voted off, is he the last one hugged? When he performs, are the other contestants checking their nails and looking bored? In tonite's Ford video, does he 'accidentally' get his hand slammed in the door? Keep your eyes peeled.

And also, Anoop had a friend that went to Hollywood and got to attend the Megan "goodbye dinner" after the show. Well, let me let you read it verbatim:

Chris was invited to the "send off" party for Megan with the tattoos, and he said it was so much fun. He met everyone on the show and said Adam, even though flaming gay, was such a nice guy. He said Danny is an a__hole who everyone on the show hates because he is so all about himself. Megan, who I told him to connect with, he said is a little weird and cooky. I can see that. But anyway, he had so much fun. He says Anoop already has a record deal and that Usher twittered him that night and said that even though Simon didn't like the song, he loved it and thought it was great.

What??? A record deal already. And a Twitter from Usher? I gotta get me a Twitter account. I mean, seriously. F-that facebook and MySpace crap. Tweet Me! I like it more.

Off to Twitter now.

And then to watch Idol! From Dallas, so I will be blogging in Central Time Zone! Whoo Hoo!

ColeyB

Carrie Underwood Does it Again

2009-04-06T15:30:00.000-07:00

Carrie Underwood wins Entertainer of the Year at the ACM awards in Las Vegas last night.
NJ Fan, our resident Blog-opedia Brainiac has posted the following for all of us:

Carrie Underwood captured entertainer of the year Sunday night at the Academy of Country Music Awards, winning the top honor that has eluded women for nearly a decade, while Taylor Swift won album of the year and Julianne Hough snagged top new artist.Country music's boys' club was adjourned for the year when Underwood broke Kenny Chesney's four-year win streak and became the first woman to hold the title since the Dixie Chicks in 2000. The significance wasn't lost on the 26-year-old superstar."I accepted that award on behalf of myself and my fans, but also on behalf of other women who came before me that kicked butt but never got the recognition they deserved," Underwood said. "I can't wait (for) the day, which I hope is in the very near future, where having females in the category is no big deal whatsoever."In 39 years of recognizing a top entertainer, the academy has granted the honor to a woman seven times, including Underwood. The others were Loretta Lynn, Dolly Parton, Barbara Mandrell, Reba McEntire, Shania Twain and the Dixie Chicks. Each won once.Chesney, who missed the chance to tie Alabama for most entertainer of the year awards, kissed Underwood as she walked up to accept the honor."He told me he was proud of me," said Underwood, who's enjoyed astounding success since winning "American Idol" in 2005 with eight No. 1 country hits including the signature single, "Jesus Take the Wheel."I don't think any AI winner will ever top Carrie Underwood! NJ Fan
--------

Love the YouTube video, where you see Kenny Chesney go and hug her mom after her award speech.
Kenny Chesney hugs her on the way to stage. Old Man George Strait ain't likin' it. Boo puss face George.

We love you Carrie, and I agree with NJ Fan...no Idol will be as famous as Carrie has become, even if it is country. She's as mainstream as they come.

xoxo,

ColeyB

On a disturbing note, they gave that little mileywannabe Taylor Swift some made up crystal award for bringing so many young fans to country music...translate...saving our asses in the industry so us old folks can figure out what's hip and cool by letting YOU write all your music, Taylor.

Coming to you from Big D

2009-04-06T08:49:00.000-07:00

Blogging on iPod touch. This is not going to be long. Thinking about you all. George bush is here. I'm not leaving the hotel except for dinner and shopping. What else maybe a spa. I think it's time to get the hooves filed for summer.
Gotta go

Lady GaGa and Magda...Separated at Birth

2009-04-03T21:59:00.000-07:00

I got to give this one to Perez Hilton. Funny shit.

Remember Magda that layed out in the sun all day and night from "There's Something About Mary", that had the little dog that got electricuted and caught on fire? OMG.

She and Lady GaGa are exactly the same.

Why didn't I name myself something fun for this blog. I didn't have to use my real freakin' name. I should have been Suzy Poo Poo or something.

Lady GaGa, Suzy Poo Poo...what is this world coming to?

xoxo,

Happy Weekend Citizens of B-Town...

Clarifying a few things....

2009-04-02T14:27:00.000-07:00

Tink just posted the following comment:

"Jeffro did she really say you resemble a fat drunk man? I missed that one! That one might offend me. But I am with you on the attention...I am just happy that the mayor of blogtown knows who we are...hey....that could be a bad thing like we are the problem kids or the town drunks...hahaha. "

My response: Jeffro is more of a drama queen than fat drunk. I called likened him to NORM on Cheers. Always there, everyone knows him, etc. That's it. Jeffro is so sensitive since I displayed my powers and wiped him out of Blogtown.

Today is Jeffro's wedding anniversary. Congrats to him and his lovely bride.

bye for now.

ColeyB

Bye Now...

2009-04-01T21:07:00.000-07:00

Big shocker. I wish I had put all 20 points on Megan Joy because she is home now, where she belongs and needs some dance lesson from someone other than Elaine from Seinfeld.

Beautiful girl. Go be a model for god's sake.

Cooke was good. CD is better. Still a hottie.

Lady GaGa. What? Really? That was insane. Insane. I loved it. I want a zipper over my eye. I would zip it shut when people came up that I didn't want to talk to.

"Talk to the zipper, 'cuz the eye ain't lookin'."

Nice talking to AmyB tonite. She did not know that Pauler and Kara used to be bunkmates at Casa Abdrool. Oh, and Idol put a muzzle on Pauler this year. She has to split her previous allotted time with Kara. She has to prove she won't drool to get a new contract. Or they have Kara waiting in the wings to reset them back to 3. hee hee

Hasn't this been a fun blog week? I am most amazed that no one knew that WindyCityNut was Jeffro. And that I had kept all the blog drama to myself. There are pockets of you out there that don't have any idea of the others, and I just want to draw you all closer, citizens.

There is one special person that wrote me long ago, and I haven't heard from her in a while. She sent me a note that just made me cry so hard. She said I made her laugh when times were not so happy, and that she loved to read my random musings about everyday life and such. That made me feel so terrific, and inspired, and grateful. And I really owe you all (and USA Today for publishing my blog address, and Sanjaya because I was talking about him and they quoted me)for inspiring me to keep this little blog chugging along. In these hard economic times, it's good to have a good little cheap thrill now and again.

"That's what she said."

xoxo,

ColeyB

This post is for LU!!!!

2009-04-01T15:18:00.000-07:00

Lu says that Lady GaGa on the Idol show tonite is going to be the shiznits. And she says Lady GaGa may be sort of mentally touched. Well, she is #1 on Billboard for her second single in a row, so she solid. Judging by the pic, she's going to be good. I like her already.

Lunch with Lu went something like this:

"Megan twitches instead of dances, like Duffy"
"What is up with her, she is 2 clowns short of a circus"
"Is Kris Allen a sleeper cell?"
"What is wrong with his singing out the side of his mouth, it's buggin'."
"We have got to talk about that new judge Kara."
"I"m sorry by Simon drawing on Paula was some funny shit."
"First it was pink jeans on the blind guy, now they fucked up his hair with a Jewish Fro"
"Megan has got to go" (said by both of us atleast a dozen times)
"Bob Marley was rolling in his grave" (see previous comment for reason)
"Lil Rounds looks like a lady at work. OMG, she does...same wig selections"
"I want ticket to Britney Spears, I love Circus"
"Again, 2 clowns shy of a full circus"
"I want to go see Kelly Clarkson at Konacti Harbor"
"I'll have Chicken Chow Fun and a Diet 7UP"
"I'll have tomato Beef Chow Mein...it's Chinese Chef Boyardee!"
"Jeffro is stalking me again."
"Girl, summer 2 years ago, that was high drama. You have USA Today to thank for bringing him into your life."
"I know, I don't know whether to sue or send flowers."
"I still can't tell Greg about Jeffro, because whenever he gets mad at me he says, well, why don't you call Jeffro and see what he thinks." LOLOLOL WE had a big laugh over that one. My hubby is so clevah. He hits below the belt on every opportunity.
"You know if Jeffro knew this his head would blow up."
"No, he's kind of stupid."
"You did not just say that...oh no you didn't"
"Oh ok, you're right. That was mean to say about my most loyal stalker"
"Cole, what if there is a real stalker out there?"
"Lu, seriously, have you been playing those weird video games again, with the virtual reality goggles?"
"How's Chris?"
"Excellent. I love to embarrass him. I don't think he liked the mammogram comments."
"Get over it."
"He's married now, maybe he thinks it's cheating to think about mammogrammos."
"Yeah, you're right."
"He did sign his note to me like this...O_O"
"ha ha"

And then lunch was served and we ate like pigs and left Amazing Wok, in a blaze of glory. End of story.

xoxo,

Cole

Blogtown's Cast of Commenters

2009-03-31T21:34:00.000-07:00

As we all know, I am Mayor of Blogtown. And Blogtown would not exist without the constituents...my loyal readers and quite the cast of characters. If you read this blog regularly, then you are a Blogtown resident. Is this blog url in your bookmarks? (I hope so because I named this the stupidest url ever...sorry, but I was a rookie, and originally, this was written for 40 office co-workers and that's it).

Anyway, citizens, since my last post, it seems there is great interest in nostalgia, and perhaps we need to introduce some of the main players to any new readers. I hate when I feel left out of the joke, because I'm late to the party or whatever. I want to introduce or re-introduce everyone to the main players of Blogtown. If this was a tv show, it would be sort of cross between Melrose Place and The Office. Lots of my co-workers are key contributors to this fun, hence the office. I am not Michael Scott.

Let's start with the most loyal of the loyal members...Jeffro...or WindyCityNut in the early days. Now, I'm going to have to be brutally honest here and admit some stuff, that may or may not embarrass or surprise you, my readers. So hold onto your seats. (cue the Melrose, soap opera music) Jeffro was my first blog crush. You know how people have groupies, and they hate them on the outside, but love them on the inside because they feed the ego. Well, this was NOTHING like that. Jeffro was simply a funny fucking guy that made ME laugh. I feel like he brought the funny out of me. I wrote crazier shit just to see what he would say. My Muse, if you will. So, I got the big idea that in the off season, we would write the blog together, sort of bounce back and forth. Which lead to exchanging personal emails, where we talked about this, but after only speaking via the blog for so long, it was weird...and then I called him, and he called me back and suddenly it was all so weird. If our spouses hadn't freaked out, we probably wouldn't have noticed a damn thing because quite frankly Jeffro and I are too stupid to cheat on our spouses, I've figured out. Well, I'm too lazy actually. I don't want to have to put effort into another relationship...this one is killing me as it is. And Jeffro, well he was a newlywed and well, he was just stupid too. Both our spouses feared that we were serial killers. Jeff was going to kill me and Jeff's spouse was sure I was hopping a plane to kill him, Again, never crossed our minds. So, when I found out that Jeffro and his lovely wife had a huge explosive fight about him participating in the blog, I lost it. I felt terrible, and I CUT HIM OUT OF THE BLOG. I erased every single post that he commented on, or that he was in. He disappeared. This is what he refers to as 'me taking out a hit on him'. Yes, he was erased. And then the funniest thing was he wouldn't go away. I know he kept reading. And then he started commenting in another name. He was addicted to the blog. So sad. He had to go to rehab. So, after he convinced me that his wife wasn't going to kill ME, I let him back in. And that's the story of Jeffro "WindyCity Nut". I heart you Jeffro!

NJ Fan: Now I have no idea who this chick is, and the way she types is so funny. She's my little fact finding fact checker. If I wonder about it on the blog, she finds that shit out and posts the comments. And she agrees with everything I say. Very smart girl this one. She's funny and I heart you too NJ Fan!

Tink from California: My most demanding fan. She thinks her TIVO works on ME! When I announced I was not going to blog live, she was up in arms and demanded that on Idol nights, NO KNITTING. To which I agreed. For fear she was going to come find me. And if I don't post something, she writes me about 10:00 in the morning and says something like "Hello, I'm waiting for my daily dose of the blog" Between her and Jeffro, I am not allowed to go on vacation, that's for sure. I wonder if they would pay me by the week? Like a dollar? Man that would be cool. I could open my yarn shop for sure, when I am 65. Thanks Tink for all the fun comments. Of course, I heart you too.

Now the rest of the players I am not going to identify so closely because you might want to retain your privacy. But, I do wish you all could know your neighbors in Blogtown. I'll list some people by first name, and then you can get an idea of the people that are sharing this space...because in all seriousness, we are a community here. And I write this because I think you all are fun, when I pass you in the halls at work, or get the random emails or phone calls. Do please remember that I am very surprised when people really care what I think about American Idol. I mean when one person asks you who's getting voted off, that's one thing. When 12 people come up to you each week and 5 email you and 5 call you, then you start to feel sort of weird because you actually feel like you owe them some thought and maybe some wittiness. I know that's weird. And I have had to come to accept that I am obsessive and get very caught up in things that excite me. And citizens of Blogtown just fuel my fire.

Here are some of your neighbors, you might want to say hi to when cruising through Blogtown:

Chris- equally obsessed with Idol and reality tv. Co-worker (code: CW) Sweetest, nicest guy I have ever met in my life, hands down and I adore him. Easily my favorite co-worker. He's funny, kind and has a great laugh. And a dang good designer.
Lu -Former CW (code; FCW) Lu, equally as funny as Jeffro. This girl makes me crack my ass up. Seriously, and she used to be scared of me at work because I flipped her attitude. This was when I was in my bitchy season at work. Lu is the most well traveled girl I have ever met. She goes on cruises like I go to the mall. Constantly cruising.
Susan - friend of Dee Dee's at work. She keeps Dee Dee (college roommate) up to date on my shenanigans. Texas girls have to watch each other's backs. Dee Dee says that her friend thinks I'm famous. Sorry to disappoint Susan.
Paul: Dee Dee's husband. What? He reads my blog. Well, blow me over with a feather. I could not believe it when he told me. Thanks Paul. That is one of the greatest compliments I have ever received. Note, even Dee Dee does not read the blog.
JenG - FCW: Has the most interesting career options and changes and gigs of anyone I ever met. She hangs out with the announcers and staff and celebs each night when the SF Giants play at home. She's like the scorekeeper chick in the outfield, and does PR and stuff. Sweetest girl. Hi Jen!!!
DNatz and Ellen: 2 FCWs who I miss every day. Hope life is treating you both well. Drop me a comment or two!
AmyB - cancer lottery winner and survivor. Imagine this...you get diagnosed with cancer, go down for 6 months, get back up, fight and survive, while getting to try out numerous hair colors and do's along the way, get a dream job, run around with Tiger Woods, run the NYC Marathon, meet Lance Armstrong and hang with Phil Knight at Nike, where you are employed. Ok, so if that's not winning the cancer lottery, you tell me what is. Is it possible to be jealous of a cancer survivor? I prefer to call it inspired.
Sheila: new member and literally someone that has shown me the lighter side of life lately and just makes me smile to think about her. You know her as my twin. I truly believe that God has brought us together for a reason and the fun has just begun.
Seester: My baby sister. She's smarter than me, but more of a brat. She's condescending, but you know, instead of battling it, I finally find the humor in it. We are like oil and water...but that makes a pretty tasty vinaigrette with the right ingredients added, like good humor and love. She is the first person I call when things are really super bad or good. There is no substitute for a sister, no matter what. You can have boundaries, but they come down when you get the call. Love you tons baby sister.
Mallooooo: A Texas girl that lifts me up and has a smile as big as the state she lives in. Met her at my first job out of college and we have always kept in touch. Gonna see her next week on vacay!

Lord, you people must be tired of this blog. I fear I have forgotten someone. If I have, I apologize, but it is getting late.

Why did I write this? Because I wanted to lift you all up and thank you for being great citizens of Blogtown, thank you for not peeing in the city swimming pool, and for picking up your trash when you leave the park.

Hey, I got a mammogram today. That was fun. My boobage smashed between 2 plates of glass looked oddly like pancake batter, spreading on a griddle. Maybe I was just hungry for pancakes.

xoxo,

ColeyB

Idol Tuesday...any song choice goes!

2009-03-31T19:03:00.000-07:00

Well, they get to pick their own songs. Supposedly, this song would be the song they would sing to indicate what they want to be as an artist.

Really cool to see American Top 40.

So Anoop is up first and picks Usher. wowzie. Ok, this is not really good. I can't see him as an artist, he's like a 12 year old to me. And they thought it was bleh, It was a slow arrangement...needed to speed up. Judges were harsher than me. Brutal

Next up Megan. OMG, could she please pick a good song. WTF? BOB MARLEY. Essentially she saying she wants to put out a Bob Marley cd? Really. Ok, this is boring. I'm going to the kitchen for a coke. Seriously. She can't even have a stage presence. OMG, they beat the proverbial dead horse on that one. It's as if they want her voted off. Lord that poor girl. I'd run from that stage in tears. OMG someone shouted at Kara that she sounded like a broken record. ha ha

Gokey, goes with Rascal Flatts. AMAZING SONG. Good song choice. Ok, so we finally have a good contestant tonite. Might be his best performance ever. I love this. LOVE this. Excellent job Gokey. You did the rascals proud. So, Simon and me are on the same page on this one. Get a great song, do it brilliantly, and do your version. Way to go Danny!!! Randy, is so cute tonite. I'm sort of getting tired of Kara. Sort of. Hubby read on internet that Kara and Paula don't talk.

Allison...playing guitar.OMG she is killing it. OMG, I really love this version better than Gwen's. I hate that pink hair. Randy, she was rushing the band because they are too slow tonite. Now they are picking on her clothes...because you can't pick on her music Kara. I do hate the electrified poodle hair she's sporting. Pauler, attempting to sounding cool, calls Allison's guitar her 'axe' and Simon follows with more picks at the outfit. Whatever, can we hear about the singing?

Scott, omg, the blind guy, they messed up his hair. I guess it's pretty ok, but I wonder what he thought they were doing. Can he see just a little bit? I bet you Elton John is his next song performance. Best performance by a country mile so far from Simon.

Justin Timbermatt is here. Bottom 3 last week. He's got to dig out of the hole. The FRAY. I love them and I love this song, and he's dead on. That's great. hey, they put him amongst the people. They are trying to boost his star power. They don't want him to go, I can tell. OK People...this is my favorite performance of the night. excellent excellent . rough at start, but he worked it out. PAULA, wtf. you suck Pauler. I hope everyone says they couldn't disagree more. Cowell. Simon didn't like it. Wow, I can't believe it. I totally disagree with these peeps. Wow, they are blasting him. They are really really throwing me a curve. Poor Matt. he's not doing well on this. dangit. Kara wants him to pick the r&b side of pop or rock side of pop. Note that they don't really want people to pick POP.

Li'l : picking her song. Celine Dion...well, they will blast that. Do these people watch this show ever, before they are on it? Obviously they don't read this blog, because here in Blogtown, we know that you are not to pick Diva's songs. Never pick a Celine, Whitney or Mariah song. NEVER. Kiss of death, unless you blow it out. Li'l got a new wig this week. hate it. She sings really well, but she sounds like everyone else. Not different like Jennifer Hudson, or Mandisa...Tamyra Grey. Randy is first up...hates the song choice. But thinks she sang it well. Kara told her to pick Mariah. I dunno. Mary J Blige, she already sang. Broken Record, shut it. Pauler don't want to see the AC Li'l Rounds. Not sure what she wants to hear. Simon felt she was the Wedding Singer.

I bet Adam is last this week. Who's next? Oh, Adam. WHAT THE Wild Cherry "play that funky music white boy". Lord he never ceases to amaze us. Hey, he kept last week's hair. I guess he's been sleeping in a shower cap for a week, to keep that helmet shined. Indulgent. OMG, he is killing me. Listen, there is no way you can deny he is absolutely an entertainer...he is awesome. Screamer to the end. I can't help it, but I look forward to him every week. Seriously, he's a whack job. Pauler is trying to ssshh the crowd. Mick Jagger, Steven Tyler and Adam Lambert. Simon, original and good for you Adam. Randy, tells him he is in the star zone. And Adam gives the props to the band, very professional. Kara and me, on same page.

Ok, like Kris Allen...I could care less what he sings. I know it will be boring.

HEY there's Mandisa.

Kris. please don't sing "And I know I know Iknow Iknow I know " more than 7 times or I am going to Tivo you off. Is he growing a mustache? What? He sang I know 12 times in a row. I did not Tivo ahead, because this is actually pretty good. Nice emotion. I didn't like the last note, but it was really a solid performance. Kara, that is artistry. OMG, Kara, you are getting a little bit full of yourself. Pauler ...blah blah blah. Simon, liked his confidence. Well done.

So who's going home. Who cares? David Cook is on tomorrow night. Whoo Hoo!

Bottom 3: Scott, Megan and Anoop.

Addressing the readers questions...

2009-03-30T22:31:00.000-07:00

Some of you may, or may not, read the comments that various readers leave on the blog. If you already read the post, you wouldn't go back and see comments later. But I get an instant email when one of you feels the need to respond to my little rants.

So, I find it very amusing when you all start to talk to each other, through me. I love it. I like to think that I have built a little community of you guys...kind of like Cheers, where there are regulars that blow through the door, and there are the fade in, fade outs. It goes without saying Jeffro is our NORM. And we have lost our Cliffy Clavin in Chad. I liked Chad alot, but he and jeffro got into it when talking about Katherine McPhee's boobs and I think Cliffy Chad lost interest.

Christina...well. A LONG time ago, she sent me her url. Let's see if it still works. yeppers. Hey, it just has this photo on it. So, I guess we know why she has lost interest in my blog. She's a mac geek. Remember how she was about to buy a mac, then got eye surgery, and then couldn't see 'cuz it f'd up, etc. Well, we lost Christina to her mac. For those that want to read the banterings of her and Jeffro, see Idol season 2 years ago, was it Jeffro? Can't remember. Jeffro used to taunt her to post pictures of herself in a bikini or some crazy shit like that.

OMG my husband is trying to interrupt me by telling me about 92 grams of fat in a Quizno's Prime Rib Sandwich. no duh dumbo, that think is dripping in cheese and fatty meats. It's the equivalent to 15 orders of Supersize Fries from McDonald's. OMG, fast food nation is killing us, one fry at a time. They like cigarettes putting nails in our coffins.

Anyway, I find it funny that people come and go in our quaint little virtual town, some are missed and some are not. I used to talk alot about someone on the blog, and no one has said a word about their absence. I find it hysterical. Or mysterious. Anyway, Jeffro would know who I am talking about. I wish I could email him privately, but I can't, due to our non-spoken agreements to ourselves and spouses to never contact each other privately again. Long story. Anyway, Jeffro, if I could tell you in person, I would tell you that the person you know I am talking about...well, they decided I was a bitch and thought they should tell me so. Enough said. I won't bore you with the details, but I did think you would laugh. NJ Fan and Tink probably remember too. Lu, are we having Chinese food on Weds, or are we going to Sandwich shop? I want $5.00 Chinese from Amazing Wok. Cheap and yummmy.

So, my little Citizens of Blogtown, I appreciate the 'off topic of Idol' posts now and again.

I felt an Earthquake today. I think it was number 6 since I have moved to California, nearly 17 years ago. I can't wait until next year, because it will mean I have lived here longer than I lived in my youth in Texas City. That's a weird thought for me. I'm headed to Texas on Sunday for business. Going to Dallas, and then to Indianapolis, Indiana, which I guess will be pretty fun, since I've never been there. I'm going to find time to go to the Indy 500, just to see the track. Anyone live nearby that wants to come visit me? Kidding!

Well, I guess I'm off to bed now. zzzzzzzzzzzz....

PS. LIttle gossip. I heard that Kelly Clarkson had to kiss Simon's ass, and apologize before he'd let her on the show. Evidently, she would not allow KC songs to be sung on the show for 2 seasons. That's not nice KC. Karma bit you in the ass for that, and it manifested itself as an album called MyDecember. (which i liked alot, but America evidently, not so much)

confession time, before bedtime...Dear Bloggers, I ask your understanding at this confession. But my favorite cd right now is Britney Spears Circus.

Womanizer, Womanizer....I can't help it. i love it.

zzzzzzzzzzzz for reals this time

Matt Girard

2009-03-28T09:24:00.000-07:00

Ok, tell me that doesn't look exactly like what Matt wore on Idol two weeks ago. Fedora and scarf and jeans.

He better dial back the Timberfake. Or not. What do you think?

xoxo,

ColeyB

And now a word from Lu....

2009-03-28T09:17:00.000-07:00

Lu, you may recall, a frequent commenter on this blog, has poked her head out of a hole, and left me a message. It's like she's a little Groundhog that came out to watch the Top 12 on American Idol.

Lu has been gone from my company for a bit now, we no longer work together and it seems her new job is taking up alot of her time. Or atleast that's what I choose to believe, instead of what is probably reality and she doesn't read the blog anymore. DOh!

So, as usual, her message was a laugh riot. I wish I could capture it and play it, but in any case, the gist is this. Lu is pissed off that they put the poor blind guy in pink jeans. You know he thought they were blue. It's just not right. Stylist taking advantage of the blind is a crime.

That Lu. Well, we certainly welcome her to come back and post her comments here!

As for the rest of you, hope you're enjoying this season. I know I am.

I leave you with some thoughts to ponder, as you run your weekend errands and fold laundry.

I wonder if Adam was peaking too fast, so he took a dive on the "ring of fire" song? I wonder if he plans to just be someone different every single week, so that he keeps being fresh? If this is his strategy, it's working. Because I am bored with most of them. I must say, Megan also makes me want to tune it, just to see how she will look, or dance, or what song she is doing. Isn't that sort of the Sanjaya factor? Don't both Megan and Adam have the Sanjaya factor?

We only have like 4 more weeks that the magic bullet can save a contestant. They can't use it when only 5 remain.

Cole

Shield your Eyes

2009-03-28T09:09:00.000-07:00

He is such a stupid clown. A talented musician that is arrogant and thinks everyone will think he is awesome. The former Mr. Jennifer Aniston, is now putting together a 4 day cruise to mexico where he will perform.

Tip: Do not use this image in your promotional materials. Despite what you think, your happy trail of pubes is more like an overgrown garden of weeds. Do they make Man-Brazilians? Of course not be cause men are weanies, which is why God attached one to them, as a reminder.

Mr. Mayer, you body is not a wonderland...and we do not want to buy a ticket to visit. And I'm tired of hearing about the Twitter issues. Are you 12 years old?

I'm so stupid sometimes...

2009-03-27T22:30:00.000-07:00

Today, as we left for lunch, I announced that I am allergic to sourdough bread. And that is why I can't eat sandwiches from the deli near our office because my stomach literally blows up. Like I swallowed a balloon whole...and then I double over in pain, and you get the picture,

So, I went to a place for lunch, and as they handed me my tray with my salad, she dropped a bread roll on the plate...and without thinking I said, "I'm allergic to sourdough." The old bag behind the counter actually rolled her eyes at me, shrugged her shoulders while lifting her arms and said, "Honey, you're standing in a sourdough restaurant." OMG, I felt like such an asshole. I looked up to read the sign "The Original San Francisco Sourdough Bread".

Well, I don't care. I still said...give me a piece of Walnut bread. I eat her once a week and you always give me walnut bread, I just forgot to order it. And she wasn't going to do it. Until I gave her the "do I have to cut you bitch?" look. And she returned with 2 pieces. Crazy bi-atch.

happy weekend.

Coley

Adam Lambert: Freddie Mercury and Adam Ant's Love Child

2009-03-26T09:18:00.000-07:00

OH SNAP! I slept on it last night, and I figured it out. He reminds me so much of another recording artist, and I couldn't nail it. He's got the crazy high range of Adam Ant, and the power and outrageousness of Freddie Mercury. To this day, on my Itunes, Adam Ant has one song on my list, and I play it more than most songs...it's called Wonderful. "If I tell you you're wonderful, did I lie...lie lie la lie lie." I LOVE that song. I digress...back to Adam. Wow, that little Adam is a chameleon indeed. And yes, NJ Fan, he is a hottie. He's a card carrying member of the gay community. They don't toss those out to the "mirror-challenged", you know. Especially not in LA, where I hear tight packages below the belt are also a pre-requisite. Oh my...blushing.

Lots of emails in my box this morning about my post, the show, and Megan's boobs. General feeling is Scott or Michael are going home tonite, with the edge going to Megan due to aforementioned boobage.

I was so pissed off at the shenanigans of Pauler and Simon. Those people deserved just as much serious critique as those earlier in the show, and they were clowning around when the last person was up there. (can't remember who it was, sadly) Anyway, I hope Simon drew his Paula-Abdoodle in Sharpie, is all I can say. That shit is hard to get off.

Alright. Bye now.

ColeyB